CHAPTER 3 — The Beginning of My Awakening.
After that unexpected call into deeper revelation, something inside me shifted. It wasn't loud, it wasn't dramatic, but it was unmistakable. I knew God had started something I couldn't explain with ordinary words. Even though my life physically looked unstable and confusing, spiritually, something was opening.
The atmosphere around me began to feel different, almost as if heaven had drawn closer. I wasn't seeing visions or hearing voices out loud, but there was a spiritual awareness I couldn't deny. It felt like God was gently but firmly pulling me into a season I didn't fully understand yet.
It began subtly.
Some mornings, I would wake up with a strange calmness, even though nothing in my physical reality had changed. I still had no job. I still didn't know my next steps. Some people I thought I could depend on had gone silent. Yet, in the midst of my confusion, there was a new peace in my chest that didn't make sense. It felt like a soft cushion, catching me every time I wanted to fall into fear.
Deep down, I knew this wasn't normal. This wasn't just me "being strong."
It was God.
More than once, I found myself whispering, "Why do I feel calm when everything seems uncertain?"
And again and again, that gentle inner voice would respond:
"Be still. I am working."
I didn't realize it then, but God was preparing ground inside me before revealing what He wanted to plant. He was emptying me of noise and distractions. He was removing the voices of people so I could hear His voice clearly.
Then the dreams started, not chaotic dreams, but dreams that carried weight. Dreams that pointed me back to God. Dreams that made me think deeply. Some dreams reminded me of who I used to be spiritually, how I once carried fire and passion. Others revealed distractions and battles surrounding my destiny. A few dreams came like warnings, telling me to rise, to pray, to pay attention.
Every dream had a meaning.
Every dream had a message.
And every dream pulled me deeper into my own awakening.
I started noticing things I used to ignore. Small things. Subtle things.
For example, when someone spoke negatively, my spirit would feel uncomfortable.
When I tried to do things I used to enjoy but had no spiritual value, it suddenly felt empty.
Even music, conversations, and activities that used to entertain me suddenly felt shallow.
God was changing my appetite.
Slowly, He was creating hunger in me, hunger for Him, for truth, for clarity, for purpose. Hunger for something more than just survival. Something more than temporary comfort. Something eternal.
Some days, I would pick up my Bible without planning to, and a scripture would jump out with precision, as if God highlighted it just for me. Other days, I would try to distract myself with my phone, but I would feel a sudden push to pray instead. Sometimes, in the middle of thinking about my future, a scripture or a worship song would rise in my spirit like an answer.
I didn't force it.
I didn't plan it.
It just began to happen.
That's when I realized something powerful:
Awakening doesn't begin with a loud encounter.
It begins with small whispers.
Gentle nudges.
Unseen shifts inside the heart.
God was speaking.
Not through thunder or lightning…
But through subtle movements in my spirit.
And with every shift, I began to see myself differently.
I began to understand that my struggles weren't just random.
My delays weren't just coincidence.
My isolation wasn't punishment.
It was preparation.
God was preparing me to see with new eyes.
People started drifting away, and at first, it felt painful. Some friendships became strangely distant. Some calls stopped coming. Some conversations faded out. But instead of feeling hurt, I felt a strange relief, as if God was removing unnecessary weight from my shoulders.
Some opportunities I thought were for me suddenly closed.
But instead of panicking, I felt peace.
I didn't understand it, yet it made sense.
It wasn't comfort.
It was alignment.
God was aligning my life with His will, even though I didn't fully understand where He was leading me. For the first time in a long while, I wasn't trying to control the journey. I wasn't trying to save myself. I was letting God lead.
And that became the true beginning of my awakening, the moment I realized the change happening inside me wasn't normal. It wasn't emotional. It wasn't because of pressure. It was spiritual. It was a divine shift I didn't ask for, but deeply needed.
My journey was no longer about escaping struggle.
It was about discovering purpose.
Discovering identity.
Discovering God in a deeper, more intimate way.
And even though I didn't know the full picture yet, I could feel it in my spirit:
Something new had started.
Something powerful.
Something divine.
And nothing in my life would remain the same again.