Chapter 5: I... Have Always Been a Freak
[What greeted your eyes was Shoko Nishimiya covering her ears and weeping. Thin streams of blood flowed from her ears down her wrists, dripping and staining the ground red. Standing beside her was a female member of the school music club, looking at Shoko with a face full of shock, holding something red that looked like an earphone in her hand.]
[That was a hearing aid. Shoko Nishimiya's hearing aid.]
[That's right. Although Shoko Nishimiya is deaf-mute, she isn't completely deaf. She can still hear sounds relying on hearing aids; otherwise, she couldn't attend class. However, hearing aids are devices that contact the nerves through the ear canal. Ripping them out roughly is very likely to cause injury.]
[You were furious. You ran over and shoved that girl down, picking up the hearing aid intending to put it back on Shoko Nishimiya. But when Shoko Nishimiya saw you, she looked pained. After taking the hearing aid, she wrote on her communication notebook: 'I'm sorry,' and then ran away.]
[You were enraged. You caused a huge scene at the venue, lecturing and disciplining all the girls in the music club. Even when people came to stop you, in your anger, you didn't back down one bit.]
[In the venue, many people saw your rampage. Their thoughts varied—some were disdainful, some impressed, and some cheered you on.]
[In the end, you received disciplinary action from the school.]
[But you didn't care. You only cared about why Shoko Nishimiya ran away.]
[You didn't know that Shoko Nishimiya had always been treated as an freak growing up because of her ears. But she wanted to make friends, she wanted to be a normal person just like her mother demanded—someone who could face all kinds of problems. Coming to school this time was her final attempt.]
[And this time, your appearance was like a beam of light in the dark night, illuminating her life. Unlike before, this was the first time she had been protected by someone. This made her feel that life wasn't so bad, that maybe she could make more friends in the future, strive to become a normal person, and then tell her mother she could live a good life without making them worry anymore.]
[Moreover, she had a small, extravagant hope: to become your good friend as a 'normal person' and experience more things together in the future.]
[This was the girl's purest and most beautiful dream.]
[But the events of today shattered her fantasy. The girls from the music club wanted to correct her pronunciation, but she couldn't even utter a single syllable. She could only make ugly, guttural noises like 'aba aba,' like a clown. All of this tore apart that mask, telling her nakedly that she was not a normal person, and she never had been.]
[Especially having this fact exposed in front of you—it was even harder for her to accept. It felt like shattering all the beauty of the recent past.]
[She knew she was just an anomaly, a freak who should go to a special needs school.]
[The Cultural Festival ended, and Shoko Nishimiya transferred schools.]
[You were lost. There was no more milk on your desk.]
[Your side suddenly felt empty, and it seemed like a piece of your heart had gone missing too.]
On the desk.
Haruka stared blankly at his palms, making one gesture after another. The fluid movements showed that their owner had put his heart into practicing.
But it seemed there was no longer any use for them.
The sky was clear and bright.
But your mood was overcast with gloom.
"Shoko..."
Hayama walked over. "Haruka, do you like Nishimiya?"
?
Haruka was stunned for a moment, looking up at him. "Why do you say that?"
"Isn't it obvious? You two were inseparable for a while. Now that she's left, you look like this. Is it really just pure friendship?" Hayama looked at Haruka like a supportive big brother as he spoke.
From this perspective, he certainly lived up to his nickname as a "nice guy."
"I don't know. Actually, I don't like the word 'love' at all. Isn't that just a hypocritical thing? I've always wanted to focus more on studying and striving to climb up the social ladder."
"But it seems I overestimated myself." Haruka grabbed his hair in distress.
Hayama didn't speak; he just watched as Haruka unpacked his feelings.
"I have a lot on my mind, and I have many flaws. Especially my heart—it's too black. My thoughts are simply dirty. I'm dead set on becoming a social elite. I don't even want to look too deep into my own heart. That's why I actually like the purity of others."
"Especially... her smile."
"She would always listen to what I had to say, no matter how deviant, how utilitarian, or how evil those words were..."
"Just like the ocean. Beneath the endless ocean is darkness that light cannot reach, but the sea embraces that darkness."
"I can't leave her."
Haruka lowered the hand that was gripping his hair.
[Having realized your own heart, you decided to go find her.]
[To find the ocean that embraces your darkness.]
[You chose to let Hayama help you, and Hayama recommended a niche club to you: the Service Club, founded by your school's 'untouchable flower,' Yukino Yukinoshita.]
[You chose to trust him and went to the Service Club. Unexpectedly, Yukino Yukinoshita, that cold and sharp-tongued woman, did not mock you. Instead, she gave you a family information sheet and offered you her blessings.]
[Your impression of Yukino Yukinoshita changed.]
[Following the information given by Yukino Yukinoshita, you arrived at a place. This was Shoko Nishimiya's home.]
[However, you did not see Shoko Nishimiya, because the front door never opened.]
[After a long while, someone came. It was someone who looked cool, though you couldn't tell if they were male or female, and not very old. She told you that the people here had already moved away.]
[You felt like you had been struck by lightning and returned home in a daze.]
[After suffering a high fever, you returned to school.]
[From then on, your life seemed to return to the right track. You began your academic career again. But occasionally, when you were tired, you would look to your side, only to find that the person you could confide in was no longer there.]
[Time slipped by. Many things happened over the three years. The Service Club was disbanded, the Student Council changed hands, the famous 'Literary Princess' Fumino Furuhashi failed her exams... And you, you always walked on the path of learning.]
[Image : Fumino Furuhashi]
[In the end, you got into an a decent but not elite university. You did not achieve your original ideal of getting into Tokyo U and turning your life around.]
[After graduating from university, you realized that a beautiful, wealthy young lady had taken quite a liking to you. Although this lady was actually the personal attendant of the eldest daughter of the Shinomiya Conglomerate and not a true noble lady, she had still saved up a considerable fortune and was, in every sense, a genuine rich woman. But you still couldn't understand why she chose you.]
[You asked her about it, but she only said she had seen you before. You were confused because you had only seen her once, during that unforgettable Cultural Festival, but you shouldn't have had any interaction.]
[You didn't accept her feelings because you could never let go of one person. Even though many years had passed, she did not give up. You continued to struggle for a living. Your luck seemed to turn around; within just two years, you became a senior executive. But you always felt something was wrong, yet you couldn't pinpoint what it was.]
[One accidental day, while walking home from work and passing a bustling street, your vision blurred. You seemed to see a familiar figure, and that sakura-colored hair flashed past.]
[You chased after it, trying to distinguish her in the sea of people.]
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