Chapter 14: Had I Not Seen the Sun, I Could Have Borne the Shade
In reality.
"I have to say, the 'me' in the simulation is quite brave."
"It's just that it would be better if this courage was used for studying."
Haruka was a little helpless.
"Moreover, the Cultural Festival is over, and I don't know what 'my' decision will be."
He had a vague sense of foreboding.
He felt that the him in the simulation was about to give him a big surprise!
***
[After the cultural festival ended, you became famous.]
[Your name is known by everyone in the school.]
[Many people's opinions of you changed.]
[You seem to have suddenly become popular, a 'riajuu.' Countless people come to find you every day, both boys and girls. The boys want to learn sign language and singing from you, while the girls put letters in your shoe locker.]
[Shoko Nishimiya's situation also improved significantly. After many people learned that she was the person you dedicated the song to, they became much warmer toward her.]
[And Shoko Nishimiya also changed. She began to try hard to communicate with others, wanting to change her inferiority complex.]
[You and she started calling each other by your first names directly.]
[The situation seems to be improving step by step.]
[You were also contemplating your previous thoughts. You spent a whole day thinking about the future, and finally, you decided to go into business.]
[You began to study seriously, as diligent as ever.]
Real-life Haruka: Not bad, not bad, keep it up!
[Yukino Yukinoshita returned, just as usual.]
[Time slipped by, and the hype gradually died down. Your life returned to peace.]
[One day, Shoko suddenly made a request to you. Her family wanted to meet you. You chose to agree.]
[You arrived at the Nishimiya household.]
[You met her family. Her mother was cold, but her sister, a very cool girl, welcomed you into the home warmly.]
[Only then did you learn that Shoko actually comes from a single-parent family.]
[Long ago, her father blamed her mother for giving birth to a deaf child like Shoko. Later, they had another child, Yuzuru Nishimiya, but he couldn't handle the responsibility anymore—and chose to leave.]
[Image : Yuzuru Nishimiya]
[At the dinner table, you keenly noticed the hostility from Shoko's mother, but Yuzuru Nishimiya and their grandmother were enthusiastic, so the atmosphere was still quite good.]
[After the meal, Shoko's mother requested to speak with you alone.]
***
Nishimiya Residence.
Shoko Nishimiya's mother was a woman who looked somewhat like a career woman. She was very beautiful, but while her gaze was sharp, one could always feel that she was very exhausted.
At this moment, she was looking at Haruka expressionlessly.
"So you're the one harassing Shoko?"
???
Haruka frowned. "Nishimiya-san, that's not right. Shoko and I are friends."
She glanced at Haruka. "You should leave. Keep your distance from Shoko at school from now on."
"Nishimiya-san, do you know what you are saying? Do you know what happened to Shoko at school?"
"Sigh."
She let out an inexplicable sigh.
She looked at the room with a sorrowful gaze, then looked back at Haruka.
"I know. Otherwise, I wouldn't have invited you here today. First of all, I want to thank you." She looked at Haruka and suddenly bowed deeply.
A perfect 90-degree bow.
Haruka didn't dodge or evade.
But his brows remained deeply furrowed. He felt that Shoko's mother's way of thinking seemed a bit off.
"But, please don't do this anymore in the future."
Sure enough.
She said words that could be described as hurtful to her own daughter.
But Haruka didn't question her emotionally. Instead, he looked at her and asked as calmly as possible, "Nishimiya-san, can I ask why? You know Shoko's situation isn't good. She was finally starting to see a bit of hope… and then you do this?"
"I know, and I am very grateful for what you did for Shoko. To be honest, for a moment, even I was moved. I even changed my mind, thinking that not all men are untrustworthy. But, the more it is like this, the less I can let Shoko fall deeper."
"Had I not seen the Sun, I could have borne the shade," She suddenly said this sentence.
"Kasugano-kun, you cannot stay by her side forever. Your promise to wait for her ahead is impossible. When that time comes, Shoko will truly despair."
"Graduation means breaking up. Even love is like this for you adolescents, let alone friendship. You are still young; you don't understand feelings. Your feelings are all real, but they are also fake. They are all temporary."
"We also have to consider practical factors. Money, future, housing, medical care. Shoko's hearing will only get worse and worse..."
"Moreover, I cannot continue to be selfish. Yuzuru has only just enrolled in school and caught up with her studies now, all for Shoko's sake. My mother is already so old, yet she is still working hard. I cannot ruin Yuzuru because of Shoko..." Her expression became extremely painful.
As a single mother, she had truly done her best.
"Kasugano-kun, I am telling you this because I can see your maturity. You are a good boy, so I will explain this much to you."
"Stay away from her now. At least it can let her return to 'normal.' The school environment can temper her will. At least it won't be more terrifying than the coldness she will encounter after entering society. In the future, she can survive in this cruel society."
"We cannot bear the cost of losing Shoko."
"Do you understand? Kasugano."
After she finished speaking, her whole body swayed slightly. She held onto the handrail beside her, then looked at Haruka, her gaze holding a hint of pleading.
At this moment, Haruka was completely stunned.
He couldn't imagine what this woman in front of him was saying!
Normal?
She called Shoko's previous life normal?
Temper her will?
So, everything Shoko suffered now was intentional on her mother's part?
Just to temper her, so she could survive alone in society in the future?
What I'm doing now, in your view, will make Shoko completely despair in the future and cause you to lose her?
Hirano's face turned grim.
He sensed it.
This was indeed Shoko's mother's thought process. Under the hardship of raising children alone, and out of a pessimistic prediction for Shoko's future, she made a decision that could be called cold but helpless.
This reminded him of a story, something he had heard in his previous life.
There was a kind of bird with a short lifespan.
Seven days after birth, the mother would push the chicks off the nest. If the chick couldn't fly then, it would fall to its death.
Isn't that cruel?
But this was done for its future.
Because if this bird couldn't fly in time and grow up, the snakes and other wild animals filling the mountains would eat the ones that couldn't fly!
And limited food and time meant the mother bird couldn't protect her chicks indefinitely.
In the end, she could only choose such a path.
Perhaps the two things couldn't be conflated, but their essence was the same: a cold decision based on love and helplessness!
Precisely because of this.
Haruka felt increasingly uncomfortable.
Shoko was clearly so gentle. She wanted to make friends with many people, play together, laugh together. Wasn't this a very ordinary, very small wish?
Why was it so difficult for her!
This isn't right!
This isn't right at all!!
I finally changed the atmosphere of the school.
Letting her enjoy the light.
As a result, you, as her mother, choose the path of darkness.
Depriving her of her current joy.
Do you know that if she continues like this, she is very likely to head toward suicide?!
This was the anger in his heart.
But...
But...
Haruka's rational thoughts were contemplating.
He was thinking along the lines of Shoko's mother's words.
Could he really accompany her down this path?
Was he going to give up the plan to become a social elite that he had always held?
Was he going to take over the responsibility of caring for her?
Shoko's hearing would get worse in the future. The price of a pair of hearing aids was expensive, and the price of better treatment was astronomical. There was also follow-up convalescence, care...
Moreover, was he willing to let his potentially glorious life fall into the dust?
Could he really guarantee that he wouldn't regret it, that he wouldn't take his anger out on her, complain, or even mistreat and scold her when the time came?
Responsibility.
It was a burden of immense weight.
It wasn't a boast one could make lightly in the heat of the moment.
Could he?
If not, then what was wrong with Shoko's mother?
What qualification, what stance did he have to blame her?
Or was he going to be a moral exemplar, irresponsibly standing on the high ground to say some meaningless words?
At this moment.
The more rational he was.
The more mature he was.
The more he understood responsibility.
The more conscience he had.
The more painful it was for Haruka.
With a pale face, he took a few weak steps back.
Seeing this, Shoko's mother sighed, whether in regret or relief, and turned to walk toward the house.
"Kasugano-kun, thank you for everything you did for Shoko. From childhood to now, you are the only person who extended a helping hand to her. Our whole family thanks you. At least during this time, she was very happy. Unfortunately, you came too late. You are not suitable. I hope you can understand."
She walked with staggering steps.
The burden of life had already crushed her to the point where she could barely breathe.
----
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