Shashank
"You know I was just joking, ju!", I rush after a very annoyed Arjun Malhotra to be ever seen because right now he seems to be in a mood to run his McLaren 720s over me, if given the chance.
"Hey atleast walk slowly, man!", already I have my own problems to find Nishika while this guy has different idea to ruin my plan.
Huh.
Should I even run after him?
"I never asked you to though."
Did I say it out loud?
"Yeah you did. If you were to impress that girl why do you wanna insult me?", he turns back abruptly and I straight up stomp on his shoes making him more annoyed. I'm doomed, literally.
He takes a deep breath and sighs, "How did I even manage to be with you?" and I beam, "Ofcourse Because you're my best friend and we're meant to be!", he slaps his forehead and I mumble, "Okay, okay I understood you don't have to hurt yourself when you actually want to hit me" and he smirks before walking again, "Well, at least you're aware! I suppose that's why you're the MD and I'm not", he presses more on the last words to let me know what I said to the girls just now.
"See I'm sorry okay? I just wanted to make our workers comfortable and give them a friendly environment!", I gesture vaguely.
"So you mean I'm making them uncomfortable? Don't think I didn't notice you melting while looking at the girl who was apologising" and I look away caught off guard by my act, was I too obvious?
"Alright we have work to do, other than you ignoring me, Come on let's goo!", I try to change the topic and thankfully he takes the bait, "Did you know the app developer has also come today?", he asks, "I didn't know! Anyways, let's arrange a formal proposal. It's up to her later if she wishes to join or not" he nods.
Shoot, I almost forgot! Mom said Nishika is also coming today.
Where is she? Did she forget to come? Oh my- Did something happen on the way??
I gasp audibly by my own thoughts when Arjun slaps my arm and raises his eyebrows, before I could say anything he gestures that the announcement is made and we have to be there on the stage.
Even after reaching the stage I keep on glancing at the entrance if she comes. Everytime the door open, my eyes would shoot up there only to meet up with any of our employees or the other participants. Right, Arjun! looking around, I notice he also seems to be busy.
Wait, whatt? Who's that guy? And what is Ahaan doing there?
The same girl whom I called beautiful is sitting with two guys in the table as a participant. Don't their college have female participants? And why is that guy giggling with her? Huffing I turn around but didn't fail to sneak a glance again, isn't he laughing too much?
Seriously, What's so funny during a presentation?
I try my best, really, to redirect my focus on the stage and the presentation of the participants but forbid me, I can't help but glance at that direction again and again. The reason of this glancing remains uncertain, whether it's because that guy talking in the middle of the programme or him talking with her.
I know she's noticed me glancing at her from time to time a while ago, but I can't help it. Not when that leech like guy is sticking to her ear and keeps on talking non stop. It doesn't bother me that they're talking, but come on, it's a presentation area and shouldn't we maintain a decorum? Maybe it does bother me that she replies to him unlike how she avoided me like a plague when I said She's beautiful.
It's not a minute later she catches my eye and raises eyebrows and I look away, more annoyed this time. Yes, just eyebrows raise that's all you do. Only to me.
I don't know why this area is getting more suffocating with each passing moment which once filled me with an excitement of meeting Nishika is now clouded with disappointment of both not seeing her—and seeing that guy cling like a leech—is driving me insane.
Even now, it won't take me a minute to check the list and see her name is there or not. But I can't walk out of the middle of the area just like that.
The next group is about to present now and the table of the Ahaan is now preparing quite more serious with that guy blabbering more to her, much to my annoyance.
Soon enough, the host comes up to call the next participants to the stage from Ahaan's college. I mentally made a note to beat up Arjun for not telling me Ahaan, his brother is here too. Pushing all other thoughts, I focus on the announcement to know the name of the girl when she calls out in order- "Ahaan Malhotra" - okay I know.
"Shreyas Nair" - the leech guy, okay.
"Nishika" - for a moment I felt my heart racing up like never before, as if it wants to leap out of my chest any moment. It can't be, right? It must be someother-
"Chander", as soon as the host finishes telling her full name, It felt like the whole world came crashing down on me.
Destiny is indeed cruelly magical, isn't it?
No matter how much I ran away from my feelings, how much I denied it in the past, it was as if bound to be revealed, by her and only her. Even if it's too late.
All these years, all that denial..
Convincing myself it meant nothing
Laughing it off..
And now, without warning, it slams into me—
because it was her.
It was always her.
It was as if the very thing I believed to be true, convinced myself to be true desperately failed to be the truth rather it splashed on my face giving a cruel reminder of how ridiculously I've been dismissing of my feelings for her like nothing and now, how unintentionally and unconsciously it has set free though I was unaware it was her.
It was destined to be uncovered by her.
The very emotion I tried to suffocate has burst open—
as if it was waiting for her to walk in and reveal it.
As if my heart knew her long before my foolishness caught up.
My feelings weren't meant to be buried, disappeared or kept hidden rather it was destined for her, it was hers– hers to be revealed, revered or crushed. No matter how much I had been pretending all along.
Maybe neither of us had not known until now or failed to notice. I just understood the fact that, Despite the years, distance or anything life threw between us, the feelings were always there - vivid, fresh and persistent. Which will always find it's way to her, irrespective of my denial or unawareness.
Now there's no going back, I should've known better about my unreasonably stubborn heart how despite all these years it has recognised her and reignited every fibre fragments of my feelings.
And damn it, I cannot stop myself anymore. Not when I know, so clearly, my heart is destined to be hers, stamped with her name and surrendered enttirely at her feet. My heart is hers, I am hers.
Hereafter it's upto her. Hers to mend, hers to make, hers to like, or hers to break.
But one thing is for sure,I ain't gonna back down and give her up this time not until I try my best and express myself fully, fearlessly and utterly. I'm ready to do anything that makes her to be mine. If there's a chance, even if it's a bit, I'll take it and be the happiest fool alive.
Our eyes meet for a fleeting moment before she tears away with much visible difficulty and focuses on the work before. That's when I realise, Oh how much I've loved this girl. How much I still do. And how much more I will.
How much more she wants me to fall for her?
Or how much more will I love her? I can never answer this,not even to myself.