The rest of the day passed without further incident, but by evening I was running on empty. My head was pounding, my body ached, and the emptiness inside me felt like it was consuming everything else.
I finished my last task, cleaning the dining hall after the evening meal and finally made it back to my basement room. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, closing my eyes.
A soft knock made me jump.
"Nessa? It's me, Cassidy". I opened the door and she slipped inside, carrying something wrapped in cloth.
"I brought you dinner," she said, pressing it into my hands. "You didn't eat anything all day. I was worried."
I unwrapped the cloth to find bread, cheese, and some meat more food than I usually saw in a week. My eyes filled with tears.
"Cass, you'll get in trouble..."
"I don't care," she said firmly. "You need to eat. You look like you're going to collapse."
She was probably right. I sat on my mattress and forced myself to eat while Cassidy sat beside me. The food tasted like ash in my mouth, but I ate it anyway because Cassidy had risked punishment to bring it to me.
"How are you really doing?" Cassidy asked softly after I'd eaten.
I wanted to lie, to say I was fine like I always did. But I was so tired of lying.
"I feel empty," I admitted. "Like something was ripped out of me and now there's just this hole that won't stop aching."
Cassidy took my hand and squeezed it. "I wish I could make it better. You didn't deserve what happened."
"Maybe I did," I said quietly. "Maybe the Moon Goddess did make a mistake. Maybe I'm not meant to have a mate or a family or anything good."
"Don't say that," Cassidy said fiercely. "Don't let them make you believe that. Marcus is the one who made a mistake, not you and not the Moon Goddess. He's too proud and stupid to recognize the gift he was given."
I wanted to believe her, but it was hard when everything inside me felt broken.
We sat in silence for a while, Cassidy's presence a comfort even though she couldn't fix what was wrong. Eventually, she had to leave before someone noticed she was missing.
After she left, I lay on my mattress and stared at the ceiling again. My twentieth birthday had been the worst day of my life, and I didn't see how things could possibly get worse.
But I was wrong about that.
Because later that night, long after I'd finally fallen into an exhausted sleep, there was another knock on my door. Softer this time, almost tentative.
I dragged myself out of bed, wondering if Cassidy had come back. But when I opened the door, I found Helena standing there, holding a thermos that steamed in the cool air.
"Hello again, Nessa," she said with that same mysterious smile. "I told you we'd see each other soon. May I come in?"
I was too tired and confused to question it. I stepped aside and let her enter my tiny room. She looked around, her expression sad.
"They don't treat you well here, do they?" she said softly.
"It's what I deserve," I said automatically.
"No." Helena's voice was sharp. "It's not what you deserve. And soon, very soon, you'll understand that."
She held out the thermos. "This is for you. Tea made from special herbs. It will help with the pain of the rejection."
I took the thermos hesitantly. "Why are you helping me? You don't even know me."
Helena smiled again, and this time there was something ancient and knowing in her eyes. "Oh, child. I know more about you than you know about yourself. Drink the tea. It will help, I promise."
Something in her voice made me trust her, though I couldn't explain why. I unscrewed the top of the thermos and breathed in the steam. The tea smelled like herbs and flowers and something else I couldn't identify something that made my wolf stir with interest for the first time since the rejection.
"Drink it all," Helena instructed. "And then rest. Tomorrow, everything will be different."
"Different how?" I asked, but Helena was already moving toward the door.
"You'll see," she said mysteriously. "Your true self has been hidden for too long, Nessa Gray. But no more. What was dormant is about to wake up, and nothing will ever be the same."
She left before I could ask what she meant. I stood there holding the thermos, completely confused. True self? Dormant? What was she talking about?
But the tea smelled soothing, and the ache inside me was unbearable. If there was even a chance it might help with the pain, I'd try anything.
I sat on my mattress and drank the tea. It was warm and sweet, with an aftertaste that made my tongue tingle. I drank every drop, just like Helena had instructed.
Within minutes, I started feeling strange. Warm, like I'd swallowed sunlight. My skin felt too tight, like something underneath was trying to push through. My wolf, usually so quiet, was suddenly awake and alert, almost excited.
"What's happening?" I whispered, but there was no one to answer.
The warmth spread through my whole body, growing hotter and more intense. I lay back on my mattress, my heart racing. Was this normal? Had Helena poisoned me?
But it didn't feel like poison. It felt like... transformation.
My vision started to blur. The last thing I saw before everything went dark was my hand in front of my face, and was that silver light glowing beneath my skin?
Then consciousness slipped away, and I fell into darkness deeper than any sleep I'd ever known.