The last fifteen days before the final paper passed in a strange mixture of routine and restlessness. I studied every chapter with full focus, played with my younger brother and sister in the evening, helped my mother with daily chores, and pretended everything was normal… but it wasn't.
It had become a nightly habit—thinking about her before sleeping as if it was some unpaid rent my mind kept collecting from me. And every night, the same unanswered question echoed in my mind:
What is she doing right now?
Is she studying? Laughing? Sitting with her sister?
Or is she also thinking about this exam like me?
I didn't know why these thoughts were coming. Even when I tried to ignore them, they sneaked back, silently, softly, like they were a part of my breathing.
The next exam day arrived as quietly as winter sunlight. I woke up early, finished all my work, got ready, and left my house to catch the morning bus to the city. The bus rattled through the village roads, wind blowing on my face, and I kept repeating all the chapters in my mind—but in between, her face came like a small flash.
Her calm expression. Her soft voice. That simple way she sat and wrote answers.
I tried to ignore it, but the more I ignored, the more it stayed.
After reaching the city, I directly went to Shivis's house. He was still studying seriously, like the paper was going to start in ten minutes. I laughed and said:
"Bro, ready fast. Time is happening for the college."
He didn't even look up.
"chill bro, there is time."
But inside, I knew why I was in such a hurry.
Still, I waited for him, controlling my excitement, my nervousness, everything.
"No, we don't," I muttered, but of course he didn't understand what kind of countdown I was experiencing inside my chest.
After ten minutes of me pacing around his room and him taking his own sweet time, he finally got ready.
We sat on his bike, and he started the engine.
While riding, Shivis said:
"Bro, today ask her social media. Instagram, WhatsApp—anything."
I instantly refused.
"No bro, I don't know how to talk like this.
This is my first time.
I can't do this."
But as usual, he insisted.
"Bro, opportunity comes once. Last paper is after fifteen days.
Don't miss it."
I kept saying no, and he kept saying yes, and somehow we reached college in the middle of that argument.
He parked his bike, and without even greeting anyone, my eyes started searching for her automatically.
But I didn't find her.
A light disappointment settled in my chest, but I quickly controlled it.
We walked toward our classes,-
We walked inside.
To my surprise, we were assigned the same class again.
Shivis sat five benches behind me.
"Bro, now we can copy answers easily," he whispered.
I knew he didn't need my answers.
He was smart.
But he wanted fun.
My eyes were doing their own job—searching her in the room.
And then…
There she was.
Simple clothes, but looking unexpectedly elegant in that simplicity. Calm, composed, and focused, just like every exam day.
She was talking to her sister again, almost the same way she did on the previous exam day.
Shivis elbowed me, grinning.
"Broooo… look at your face."
"Shut up," I muttered under my breath, pretending to arrange my pen.
When she finally walked to her seat, I quickly composed myself and walked to mine.
Meanwhile, Shivis from behind started teasing me again with hand signs and expressions.
I ignored him like he didn't exist.
When she finally came to her seat, I took a deep breath and said:
"Learning is done ?"
She looked at me and gave the same answer as last time:
"Yes, all chapters ."
Then she asked,
"Yours?"
I nodded, and the exam started.
But the truth was—
I wasn't thinking about the exam.
I was thinking about the small opportunity to talk.
So I asked her:
"Can you show me this answer?"
She looked at me once, then without hesitation, she tilted her answer sheet slightly so I could see. That small gesture felt like more than kindness—it felt like trust.
I copied slowly, purposefully, because I wanted to stay near her for a few more seconds.
From the left corner of my eye, I noticed Shivis watching me with wide eyes, like he was watching a movie scene.
I ignored him again.
We wrote, copied small parts, discussed a few doubtful words, and passed the time like it was the shortest exam of my life.
When the final bell rang and the answer sheets were collected, I felt my heart beating faster again—not because of the exam, but because I knew…
Now was the moment.
If I didn't ask today, I might never get another chance.
Shivis came running to me immediately.
"Bro, now or never. Ask her name.
At least her name, bro!"
He didn't say it softly.
He said it loudly.
Like he wanted the whole class to hear.
My heartbeat jumped to my throat.
I hesitated.
I swallowed.
I took a deep breath.
Then I turned toward her.
She was packing her things quietly.
Her sister was calling her from the back.
But somehow, I gathered courage and said:
She was packing her things when I said softly,
"Can I ask you something?"
She looked up.
"Nervously…" I started, "What is your name?"
My voice sounded like it wasn't mine.
My heart was pounding so fast that even God must've heard it.
In my mind, one strange fear appeared:
"God, please… don't let her be from another caste."
Because in villages, things get complicated.
But I ignored the thought immediately.
She looked at me, surprised.
Not angry.
Just… surprised.
She paused.
For two seconds she didn't speak anything.
Those two seconds felt like two hours.
Looked at me like I had asked why the sky is blue.
Then said calmly, even slightly teasingly:
"You know me since so many days,
and you're asking my name now?"
I became red from inside.
"… actually… I didn't get a chance…"
She sighed lightly and replied:
"Anyway....my name is Nikita Rajawat."
Even though I already knew her name ( not last name )from Jayson…
Hearing it from her felt completely different.
It felt real.
It felt special.
I smiled awkwardly.
"Oh sorry…
I forgot to introduce myself.
My name is Niks."
She nodded politely.
And there it was ....
The perfect ending to a perfect moment.
But then Shivis' words came back to my mind—
and I made the mistake.
I gathered courage again, too much courage this time, and asked:
"Do you use social media?
Like Instagram… WhatsApp… Facebook?"
She froze.
Her eyebrows lifted slightly.
Not angrily—
just shocked.
I realised instantly that the question was too personal.
Too sudden.
But I couldn't take it back now.
She said softly:
"Yes… I use Instagram."
My heartbeat doubled.
And like a fool, I added:
"Can you tell me your Instagram ID?"
She looked at me again—this time more seriously.
It was clear in her eyes:
This was too much for her.
Then she replied directly:
"No."
I swallowed the rejection silently.
Trying to smile but failing badly.
"I'll… find it myself," I said jokingly, trying to lighten the moment.
She shook her head.
"You can't. It's not possible."
I didn't argue.
She stood up, picked her bag, and walked toward her sister's desk, and the two of them left together.
I didn't look at her directly, but I watched her silently until she left the classroom.
My heart felt strange.
Not broken.
Not sad.
Just… confused.
Because she didn't reject me rudely.
She didn't insult me.
She simply… refused.
Like she was protecting herself.
And maybe…
I understood that.
Shivis came to me immediately, laughing and teasing:
"Broooo! What did she say?
Tell me everything!"
I didn't reply.
He already knew the answer.
We both walked out, talking with other classmates, pretending everything was normal.
When Shivis dropped me at my house, he said casually,
"Next exam is after fifteen days, bro. Long time. Anything can happen."
I nodded.
But inside, I knew… and I watched his bike fading away on the road.
I stood there for a few seconds, thinking about everything that happened.
Her voice.
Her expression.
Her refusal.
And the long fifteen days before the next exam.
"I didn't know what the next fifteen days would bring, but one thing was certain—my story with her was far from over."