The next morning, Uchiha Tobika didn't wake up to a fat orange cat flattening his lungs.For once, he buried his face under the pillow, eyes shut tight, determined to sleep off last night's exhaustion.
Clang. Clang. Clang.Scrape. Scrape. Scrape.A crash.
He groaned and dragged himself to the kitchen. Uzuki Yugao stood amidst a battlefield of utensils, steam, and broken ceramic, face flushed from effort.
"Honestly," he mumbled, leaning on the doorframe, "you could just make instant ramen."
"No."Yugao wiped sweat from her forehead without pausing.
The smell drifting through the room wasn't bad at all. Tobika sniffed again, impressed despite himself.
"You worked hard. What's for breakfast? Smells like tomato and egg… tomato stir-fry?"
Yugao froze.She stared at the pan where the tomatoes had dissolved into unrecognizable red sludge.After a hesitant stir, she murmured:
"…Tomato-flavored egg soup."
"Sounds great," Tobika said calmly. "Haven't had soup in a while. I'll wash up."
He left before she realized how much she'd murdered those tomatoes.
When he returned, the soup looked… thin. Too thin.He poked at it with a spoon and took a sip anyway.
"Yugao, this is amazingly detailed. You even pureed the tomatoes instead of leaving chunks. Impressive."
"Really?!"
"Mm. Mm."He nodded vigorously.
He had long ago mastered the survival skill of praising anything someone cooked for him.Even if this tasted suspiciously sweet.
Konoha Park.Tobika walked the stone path at a lazy pace, digesting, while behind him trailed Yugao, Hyūga Hana, and Iruka.
"Today is simple," he explained. "A D-rank behavior investigation. A man's about to marry his girlfriend, but her behavior's gotten strange lately. He wants us to confirm she's suitable."
He held up a finger.
"These missions test tracking, intelligence gathering, interrogation—"
Iruka raised a hand. "Sensei, interrogation? As in…?"
"Oh, that."Tobika pointed toward the Police Department prison."Interrogation means getting the answers you want out of the target. The advanced term for it is 'Major Memory Restoration Technique.'"
Yugao blinked. "What rank is that? Sounds like A-rank…"
Tobika stopped walking and turned around, expression perfectly serious.
"Its high-level phrasing is the Yamanaka clan's Mind-Body Switching Technique.Its low-level version is… taijutsu."
Hana stared at him, a vein twitching on her forehead.
"So by interrogation… you mean literally beating the answers out of someone?"
"That's one way to describe it," Tobika said.He unrolled a scroll and read aloud:
"Randomly assaulting a villager: twenty days detention, 100,000 ryo fine, cover their medical bills, and a three-month mission ban.This is why you don't just hit people. If they accuse you before the Hokage, you're finished."
He tucked the scroll away.
"When I did these missions, I always gathered evidence first. Then when I punched someone, the Hokage couldn't say a thing."
He handed the mission file to the trio.
"Go."
The three vanished into the trees.
Tobika watched them leave with a nostalgic sigh.He lay on a park bench, opened a medical text, and let his mind drift.
His medical ninjutsu had nearly reached the limit of this generation.But Tsunade…Flat as a board in childhood photos, then suddenly—boom.It had to be some insane secret technique.
If he could figure that out, he'd be richer than the daimyo.
Meanwhile, Yugao, Hana, and Iruka reached the mission area.The target's schedule was clear. Follow her. Record her behavior. Confront if needed. Easy.
"Don't lose her," Yugao whispered.
Hana activated her Byakugan. "I won't."
Iruka hurried ahead toward the bathhouse the target often visited. If she came today, he would secure the next booth.
Soon enough, she arrived with her toiletries.
…Alone?
The mission report said she had been meeting a "mysterious person" here.Iruka frowned as she disappeared into the women's side.
Then Yugao and Hana arrived.
"She went into the mixed bath?" Yugao asked.
Iruka shook his head. "Women's bath."
Both girls blinked.
"You're sure?"
"Yes."
Hana then did what Hyūga do best: mental accounting.
"This mission pays 5000 ryo. After village fees we get 4000. Sensei takes 1000. Three of us, 1000 each.Women's bath entry is 150 per person, so Yugao and I need 300 total.Iruka, since you can't go in, you owe each of us 50 ryo."
"Ah… right."Iruka obediently paid.
The girls changed and entered.Yugao hesitated, clutching the small basket of bath supplies.
"Is this… okay?"
"Relax," Hana waved. "Warm bath plus mission efficiency. Besides, if she's in the women's bath, there's no man to meet. Mission might already be dead."
Yugao nodded and began undressing—
—and froze when the next booth erupted with voices.
"You're so naughty. Want to go to your place?"
"Why? Right here is fine."
A masculine voice.
Hana's arm stopped mid-motion.
She slowly put her clothes back on, face expressionless, radiating cold fury.
"Do we need the kunai?" Yugao whispered.
"Yes," Hana replied calmly. "Perverts in the women's bath should be purified."
She slid the door open.
A scream rang out.
Hana surveyed the scene:The mission target, wrapped in a towel.And another woman—no. A transformed man.
Her Byakugan pierced the disguise.The intruder was a shinobi.
"Who are you?" the target demanded.
Hana ignored her, staring at the disguised ninja."I am the shinobi hired by your boyfriend to investigate your behavior."
"You have a boyfriend?" the ninja said, stunned."Forget it. I'm done. I break up."
She stood and marched to Hana.
"Tell your employer he's single now. Mission over."
Hana's eye twitched.
"This isn't about the employer anymore. It's about you sneaking a man into the women's bath."
She glared at the disguised ninja.
"Show identification."
The woman turned to him. "Do you even have that? Didn't you say they wouldn't give you one? Something about being from another country?"
"…What?" Hana said flatly.
The ninja sweated buckets."N-no, no, listen—"
"Illegal foreigner," Hana concluded.She pulled out a second kunai."You'll be detained by the Konoha Police for investigation."
"Don't detain him!" the woman yelled. "He sold all the gold he smuggled! He's clean now! Let them check!"
"…Smuggling gold?" Hana narrowed her eyes.
The ninja looked ready to faint.
"L-let me explain—"
"You smugglers are so annoying," the woman snapped. "You're a Sunagakure shinobi. Why fear a Konoha shinobi? Aren't both villages from the 'Five Great'—"
"Shut up!"He slapped her across the room.
Everything spilled out.His origin.His infiltration attempt.His plan to marry her to gain legal identity.
Yugao stepped beside Hana, kunai in hand.
"Sensei definitely didn't expect this," she murmured.
"D-rank?" Hana whispered.
"…Feels like B-rank."