"Oi. What exactly are you doing?"
The lazy voice drifted from behind. Tobika's entire spine stiffened.He slowly turned around toward the doorway—and met a pair of clear, amber-brown eyes staring straight at him.
"…Yakura? You're back already? Weren't you taking the patient to the hospital?"
For a single heartbeat he blanked out. Then—smooth as if nothing happened—Tobika set the things in his hands down on the floor. He glanced at Yakura's face, still faintly smiling despite looking like she hadn't slept, and shrugged.
"Last night was chaotic. I was just trying to keep you from losing too much property."
"So that's why…"Yakura walked past him and stood by her desk. She tilted her chin toward the top of it, expression flat."…you were running away carrying my antique table?"
Tobika threw both hands up immediately."Oi, I wasn't running. Really. Once you all finished handling the emergency, I was going to come back."
"Mm-hmm?"Her gaze was pure disbelief. She'd clearly heard from Yashamaru: the image of Tobika perched on the roof, a huge pack on his shoulders, posed like a man preparing to flee the country.
"Yakura!"He cut in quickly, refusing to stay on that topic."The woman I saved last night… she's Rasa's wife, right?"
"Mm."Yakura nodded. But before she could elaborate—
"Did Chiyo die?? Why didn't she intervene?!"Tobika frowned."That condition isn't something regular med-nin can handle, but Chiyo definitely could've. If she died, I should at least burn some paper for her."
"…You really just say anything with a straight face."Yakura let out a dry little laugh, somewhere between amusement and exhaustion.
She dumped all her gear on the desk and collapsed sideways onto her bed, staring at the sand-colored ceiling.A soft whisper escaped her lips.
"…Thanks."
"You said what?"Tobika had just begun sneaking toward the door when he froze. He scratched his ear and looked back at her sprawled form, one graceful leg half-exposed.
"I didn't hear that."
She shut her eyes, rearranged her words, and tried again.
"Elder Chiyo exhausted all her chakra and had to be taken to rest. If not for you, Karura definitely wouldn't have survived the night."
The bed creaked.
Yakura opened her eyes slowly—and Tobika's face suddenly descended into view above her.
His knees pressed into the edge of her mattress as he leaned down, gaze locked on hers from above.
The intensity of it made her turn her head away with a tiny huff."…What now?"
"You see," Tobika raised one finger, dead serious,"I saved your village leader's wife. That's basically an S-rank mission, right? S-rank missions come with massive risk and massive reward. I took the risk. Where's the reward?"
Her cheek twitched. She yanked a pillow over her own face, muffling her response.
"…I'll buy you lunch."
"One meal? That's the reward??"
"What did you expect?"
"It's just… I spent an entire night's worth of chakra and got nothing out of it. And judging by how well you seem to know her… maybe you should cough up the reward."
Yakura lowered the pillow and stared at him like he was the dumbest man alive.
Up close, her face was dangerously pretty. Tobika's heart gave a traitorous little jump. His throat dried.
Gulp.
A reckless thought slipped into his mind uninvited:
If I lean in and kiss her… I probably won't die instantly, right?
Yakura gestured toward her desk."There's a Fire-Release scroll over there, A-—"
Her sentence cut off.
She only caught a flash of movement before Tobika dove in, kissed her cheek, and immediately retreated like a criminal fleeing the scene.
"…?"
She blinked. Then blinked again as the situation caught up to her.
A long, heavy silence passed.
When she finally sat up, her killing intent surged like wildfire.
Tobika, sensing the incoming murder, instinctively hopped onto the windowsill.
"Uh—I'm going out. Someone might've taken that D-rank job."
He vanished across the rooftops at high speed.
Didn't want to pay anything, but wanted to freeload my chakra? Absolutely shameless!
Sand Village Hospital
Tobika dropped from a rooftop, dusted off his clothes, and approached the steps—
"Hello!"
A small kid with face paint sprinted out of the hospital like he'd been launched, skidding to a stop before Tobika. He panted heavily.
"Th-th… thank you!"
Tobika blinked, then casually fished out a lollipop and handed it over. Another went into his own mouth.
"…Kid, who are you?"
"Huh?"The boy hesitated, pocketed the candy, then bowed."I'm Kankurō. Thank you for saving my mother."
Tobika nodded indifferently."No need to thank me. She's just hard to kill."
Kankurō froze, unsure how to respond.
Tobika sighed and leaned down to eye level.
"I accept your thanks. But next time, choose somewhere without witnesses. I'm a Leaf ninja. Only a handful of people in Sunagakure know I saved your mother. Don't create unnecessary trouble for yourself."
Kankurō's eyes brightened."Mother woke up! She wants to thank you in person!"
"…Next time. My schedule's full today."
Kankurō tugged on his sleeve."Can I learn medical ninjutsu from you?"
"You don't even have chakra yet, kid. What are you trying to learn that for?"
"I want to save people…"
Tobika tapped his chin."Alright. When you get home, buy two chickens from the market. Slit their throats. Stop the bleeding with bandages and medicine. If they live, cut them again. If they die—chicken soup for dinner."
"That's the medical ninja test?"
"Exactly. And once you've piled up enough dead chickens, send a few to the local jonin families to build goodwill. Like, say… Yakura's place."
Meanwhile, in a cave in the Land of Grass
"Lord Madara!""Lord Madara!"
Uchiha Madara slowly opened his ancient eyes as White Zetsu shoved two bowls toward him.
"You woke me… to feed me?"
"Yep!"
The creature set the bowls down and began recounting their "glorious history" in exaggerated imitation of Tobika's tone.
Madara narrowed his eyes at the so-called Uchiha Luosifen.
Luosifen? From me? When?This White Zetsu clearly inherited Hashirama's stupidity along with his cells.
"Lord Madara, taste it! They say this noodle dish lets the Uchiha re-experience the feeling of 'love'!"
"Ridiculous. Stop wasting time obsessing over Uchiha Tobika like an idiot."
Still, despite the insults, Madara picked up the steaming bowl with trembling hands and tasted it.
He choked instantly."Cough—cough—!"
"Lord Madara, are you okay?!"
"I'm fine," he rasped.And then, stubbornly, he kept eating.
When he finished, Madara leaned back, utterly unimpressed.
"…Fraud. This is worse than normal food. Don't bring it again."
"Then how about Uchiha honey-mustard fried chicken—"
"Not eating."
"Maybe after you poop—"
"IDIOT. Do not discuss that while I'm eating."
Little did Tobika know he was being monitored—because normally, only Madara and Obito were worthy of surveillance. Tobika? Hardly close with either.
Back at Yakura's house
Tobika eased the door open.The living room was normal. No traps.He tiptoed inside.
Will Yakura hit me?Well… if she does, I had that coming. Who told me to lose my mind and kiss her?
The moment he shut the door—
CLANG!Something slammed inside the kitchen.
He peeked through the glass doors.
Yakura's silhouette was violently attacking a wok with a spatula.
"…Hey, uh—careful. You'll break the pan."
Instant silence.
Then the door slid open.
Yakura stepped out, spatula in hand, expression unreadable."You're back?"
"Mm."He nodded and set down what he'd bought."You want me to cook?"
"No."
The door slammed again. The clattering resumed, but quieter. The fire, however, looked… too large. Almost like arson.
So violent…
When the food was set on the table, Yakura sat opposite him. She glanced at the dishes, then at Tobika, who still hadn't moved.
"Eat. It's thanks for last night."
Tobika hesitated.
Yakura raised a brow, picked up a bite, chewed, swallowed, and scoffed lightly."Food's scarce here. I'm not wasting it."
The shift from rage to calm was so fast it frightened him. Tobika poked his rice, voice cautious.
"You're… okay?"
Her chopsticks paused."I might head to the front lines in a few days. Iwagakure's been too active lately."
Tobika blinked."…So you're really okay?"
She looked up sharply."If you have Iwa intel, you could share it. We are allies."
He sighed."You're skipping topics like a drunk jounin. Let me tell you a story.A young kekkei genkai ninja died before ever falling in love."
A kekkei ninja.No love.Yakura's eyes darkened instantly.
Before he could continue, she summoned a fireball, tossing it in the air like a threat.
"Don't ruin my dinner. And if you cross that line again—I will hit you."
"Got it."
Tobika grinned and started eating.
He studied her subtly.
Too loyal to the village… even if I warned her she might be sacrificed someday, she'd think I was sowing discord.
He picked up another bite.
"Be careful."
Her chopsticks paused again. Then she nodded quietly.
"I know."
Later that afternoon
The desert blazed under the open sky. In the shade behind the hospital, Tobika sat reading.
Kankurō walked his recovering mother, Karura, around the grounds. The boy pointed toward Tobika.
"Mother, that big brother looks… kind of sad."
Karura glanced over."Medical texts are difficult. He may not understand something."
"Oi."Tobika lowered his book and glared."You two know you're talking loud enough for me to hear?"
Karura guided Kankurō over and smiled politely."Tobika-kun, are you struggling with something?"
He shifted aside and made room in the shade."…Some things I don't understand, yeah."
Karura tilted her head."May I ask?"
Tobika scratched his cheek."When Fourth Hokage was fourteen, he rescued his future wife from Cloud shinobi. They fell in love. When I was seven and training in the woods, I heard them whispering cute things to each other all the time.Now he's twenty-four and already has a kid.Meanwhile, I'm eighteen and still single. It's… depressing."
Karura blinked."…You don't have a girlfriend?"
"Is that weird?"
Karura shook her head."At eighteen, I already had Temari. In war times, shinobi live to thirty if they're lucky. In the Warring Clans Era, reaching thirty was a miracle.If you're eighteen… half your life as a shinobi might already be over."
She smiled faintly, sounding like an older sister teasing a younger boy."So? Do you like someone?"
Before he answered, she stiffened—because Tobika's gaze fell on her.But then he looked past her, toward where little Temari skipped toward them.
Karura's heart seized.
"Tobika-kun… you don't like someone from Suna, do you?"
He watched Temari, then looked into the distance.
"…Before? No. Now? …Not sure."
Karura hugged Temari closer."Why do you like her?"
Tobika handed both kids a lollipop, tugged lightly on Temari's hair bun, and answered plainly:
"Her face."
Karura's eyes widened.
"…So you saved me because of her?"
"No. I didn't even know you. I saved you because your brother Yashamaru called me 'sensei' and smashed his head on the ground fifty times."
Karura exhaled in relief.
No way am I allowing this match. Absolutely not. He's only a few years younger than me…
But Tobika wasn't thinking about her.
He was thinking about Yakura.About that kiss. About his dead love life resurrecting like a zombie.
For years, Tobika's "ideal girlfriend standards" had been:
Tsunade's figure
Kushina's hair
Mikoto's gentleness
Inu Clan wildness
Kurenai's red eyes
Nara-level genius
Naturally…He'd been single for eighteen years straight.