The gossip hit Tobika harder than any kunai.
He set down his half-finished can of meat, slid a cup of water toward Fuyu the summoning cat, and leaned in with eyes sparkling like an Uchiha who had just smelled drama.
"You're serious? That guy? Rosha? The same Rosha everyone swears is a one-woman hurricane of loyalty?"
Fuyu sniffed the canned meat daintily, then continued her report like a jaded ANBU describing weather patterns.
"That's all I heard. The moment they said it, those two started… doing what people do. I stayed on the window until sunrise hoping for Part Two, but no. Wasted night."
"Tragic."Tobika sighed like a man who had seen war and worse, clan politics.
Then his voice sharpened."Don't stay out until dawn next time. Everyone here knows you're my summon. If you get caught eavesdropping, it looks like I'm the one poking my nose into Suna's laundry."
Fuyu bit into her food, mumbling, "Fair. I almost got spotted that morning anyway."
Tobika stiffened."What happened?"
Fuyu thumped her fluffy chest, relieved she survived another day."The husband came home early. The side-guy tried to escape through the window. I was sitting right there, and that idiot almost shoved me off. So I kicked him back inside. Then the family started screaming at each other, everyone outside stared at them, so I snuck off."
Tobika froze."So... the couple you heard talking were cheating?"
"Of course."Fuyu blinked as if Tobika had asked whether water was wet."Where do you think all this juicy gossip comes from?"
"Which house?"
The cat narrowed her eyes.Suspicious."Why? You trying to cheat too? That woman has more 'partners' than the Hokage has meetings. She's not exactly the type to get tangled with a Leaf shinobi unless she's suicidal."
Tobika clicked his tongue."Relax. I'm just asking. You ever see me touch someone like that?"
Fuyu instinctively nodded.The only time Tobika interacted with any "questionable" woman was that one time at the magazine shop. Even then, he just bought reading material, didn't even look the owner in the eyes.
"She lives on Desert Snow Street, number 77. Husband's a chūnin—quiet, boring, honest to a fault. Wife is named Mari. Looks average but has the body and attitude of an Inuzuka in heat. I've seen at least ten men sneak through that window."
Fuyu stretched lazily across the table.
"Oh, and her newest lover? Yūzō. Connected to Chiyo."
Tobika's eyebrow twitched."He's Chiyo's boytoy?"
"No. He's the apprentice of her brother, Ebizo. But I heard in Wind Country's capital, the daimyo's concubine has a secret lover named Yūzō too."
"Same guy?"
"Probably. Suna doesn't have many repeated names."
Tobika rubbed his chin.Ebizo's apprentice…Man had range. And questionable taste.
"Well damn. You're good at this."
Fuyu grinned wide enough to show fangs."Finally someone appreciates my talent."
"Yeah. When I signed you as my summon, I thought you'd be fluffy, not a walking scandal scroll. Also didn't expect the shedding."
Fuyu's fur bristled."You dare mention the shedding?! And don't pretend you didn't fantasize about using my Transformation Jutsu to turn into a catgirl!"
"You got too fat. Killed the dream."
"Die!"
The apartment filled with crashing plates, yowling cat rage, and Tobika's pained gasps.
Three days passed.
"Grandma, you wouldn't let a genius rot into a failure, right?"
Klonk!
Kankurō held his head, wearing the expression of a child betrayed by the world.
"Why are you hitting me? I'm practicing my introduction to ask Grandma Chiyo to teach me puppet arts!"
"Where did you learn that stupid line?"Karura glared like a Byakugan locking on a weak point.
"I heard big bro Tobika muttering it to himself. I memorized it."
Uchiha Tobika.
Karura's brow twitched.
"And what else has he been teaching you?"
"Puppet techniques!"
"He knows puppet arts?"
"Yep!"Kankurō raised a finger and recited proudly:"He said a puppet's only weak point is the human body. So I should train my physique. That way, if someone gets past my puppet, I can kick them back into place."
Karura felt her soul leave her body.
She grabbed Kankurō by the arm, voice stern."From today onward, you will study puppet arts from Lady Chiyo. No more 'cool lines' from Tobika. You will not embarrass yourself."
"But he said—"
"Enough."
Kankurō wilted.He still remembered Tobika's pep talk:
Kid, Chiyo won't take you easily. But if you study two months of terrible puppet arts from someone who doesn't know puppet arts, she'll pity you into becoming her disciple. Use this opening line. 80 percent success rate.
He muttered the words like a lost soul.
They reached the training hall—large, empty, with a pool in the center.Kankurō blinked.
This is big…
While he gawked, Karura spoke with Chiyo.The old woman's gaze fell on Kankurō.
She sighed."Fine. I'll teach him some basics. Yūzō, fetch a training puppet."
"Yes, Lady Chiyo."
Kankurō watched the departing shinobi and whispered to himself in awe:"So this is Yūzō…"
"Hmm?"Ebizo turned from fishing."What are you thinking about?"
Kankurō imitated Tobika perfectly, picking his nose with childlike innocence.
"Yūzō is a real ninja. He endured a three-hundred-pound impact with pure willpower to complete his mission."
Every adult froze.
Chiyo's fishing rod slipped from her hand.Ebizo stared at Kankurō, horrified.
"…Where did you hear that?"
"The fat orange cat said it while I was at Tobika's place."
Understanding dawned.
"Oh. So it was the daimyo's concubine."
Chiyo clicked her tongue."The daimyo cuts our funding and you try to use this gossip to manipulate his inner circle into restoring our budget. Dirty trick… but what choice do we have."
Ebizo nodded grimly."We're out of money."
He rose."I'll go handle it."
Later.
Ebizo arrived at Tobika's place.
"Yo."Tobika opened the door, surprised."Ebizo-san, still looking sharp."
Ebizo chuckled, glancing at the sleeping orange cat.
"May I come in?"
"Sure."
Tobika poured him hot water.
"Don't tell me you came to see me off early?"
"No."Ebizo set the cup down."Let's be direct. You know about… that incident, right?"
Tobika blinked."Oh. Your apprentice and the three-hundred-pound story?"
Ebizo's eyelid twitched."It was a desperate idea for the village's survival. Nothing more."
Tobika nodded."It was a terrible plan."
Ebizo agreed wholeheartedly.
"But how do we keep this from leaking?"
Tobika shrugged.
"You already buried the concubine, right? Then the incident didn't happen."
Ebizo stared, stunned.
"You… are dangerously similar to Madara in your thinking."
He inhaled deeply.
"Still… this means only you and that cat know. Correct?"
"Correct."Tobika raised a hand solemnly."I swear on the honor of the Uchiha clan. This stays between us. Forever."
Ebizo's expression shifted.Respect. And fear.
An Uchiha swearing on the clan's name meant something.
But the ease with which Tobika agreed rattled him.A man with no demands was frightening.
"Are you sure you don't want… anything?"
"Nope."
"No conditions?"
"Nope."
"No money?"
"I have plenty."
"Women?"
"I'm pure. Still a virgin."
"…Ninjutsu?"
"I have a thousand copied ones."
"Then—"
Tobika sighed, exasperated.
"Fine. I'll buy something. One thing.Lady Chiyo's medical forbidden technique—she sells it or not?"
Ebizo froze.
"…How much will you pay?"
Tobika opened a safe.
A moment later—
Clink.
A fat, beautiful stack of Suna currency hit the table.
Ebizo stared like a man witnessing the rebirth of their dying treasury.
Chiyo's forbidden technique, Self-Reincarnation, was dangerous, rare, and barely learnable… but Tobika clearly wasn't buying it for Konoha's command structure.
"…Use money slowly," Ebizo whispered, touched.
"I know. This is from my heart. Suna earns it. Suna uses it. I'm not taking a single coin home."
Ebizo's hand tightened around Tobika's.
"Wait here."
He left immediately.
For the first time in months, Suna's future felt less like a desert and more like a road.