So There's Such a Thing as a Taunting Weapon
After far too long, I finally set foot inside the familiar roads of the village again.
I stood alone in the middle of the street, watching a certain silhouette grow smaller and smaller until Yakura disappeared beyond the treeline. My lips twitched despite myself.
A few minutes earlier, we'd said goodbye right here. Yakura shouldered his pack and left to "travel the ninja world." On paper, it was for relaxation. But anyone who saw the cold gleam in his eyes would know: the guy was still furious about being betrayed by the village.
Nothing romantic about our farewell. Just a few words, a quick hug, a small smile, and then we waved each other off like two idiots pretending this wasn't dangerous.
"Guess I'll have to work harder now..." I muttered.
The orange cat lounging on my head snorted with all the disdain of an elder judging a talentless nephew.
"He's gone. So when are you putting back that blind eye of yours?"
"Right now."
I pulled out a scroll from my tools pouch. Unfurled it. A single black kanji for "Seal" stared back at me. I placed my right hand on it.
Poof.
A puff of white smoke rose, the seal vanished, and in its place sat a glass vial filled with a special solution. And inside the solution floated an eyeball.
I inhaled deeply. Then reached up to my ruined right eye and swapped it with the one from the vial.
A quick burst of medical ninjutsu later, the pain dulled. I opened my newly restored eye and exhaled.
"Yeah... seeing with just one eye is a nightmare."
The cat bent down, examining my now-black iris with mild awe.
"So that's the 'bug' you mentioned? You Uchiha can just replace a blinded eye and avoid the whole permanent-loss problem?"
Its whiskers twitched as if a thought stabbed it.
"And now that Yakura's gone, I can finally ask. With your clan's personality, and considering how strong your eye abilities are, you'd think people would be obsessed with this trick. Why doesn't anyone else do it?"
I sighed while adjusting to my vision.
"Back when the Uchiha joined Konoha, a civil crisis erupted over Izanagi. That's TV episode 558, if you care."
The cat did not.
"After that, our previous clan heads sealed away the knowledge of Izanagi and Izanami. Very few Uchiha today know how to use them. I only learned the process through pure coincidence."
I lowered my voice.
"And the other reason? The clan's stockpile of spare Sharingan eyes was wiped out during that same internal disaster. Every three-tomoe we have left is irreplaceable. No one wants to risk turning themselves into a one-eyed chuunin."
The cat nodded slowly, half understanding.
Its gaze drifted to the remaining white eye in the vial. "I didn't expect you to have an extra three-tomoe."
I fell silent. So did the cat. It clearly understood where that eye came from.
The battlefield.
I shook my head hard, scattering the memory of a teammate pressing that eye into my hand before dying. I sealed the vial away again, clearing my throat.
"Let's go. Back to Konoha."
"You got more in stock?"
"No more three-tomoe. Shichinosuke entrusted me with that one. I've still got two two-tomoe spares."
The cat's eyes gleamed. It stroked its whiskers eagerly.
"Can a cat use one?"
I recalled Uchiha Itachi implanting Sharingan into a crow and shrugged.
"Probably."
"What about me?"
"You, specifically? No."
"Why not?!"
I glanced at the cat, every inch of my expression exuding classic Uchiha disgust.
"It would look horrifying. I'd lose sleep."
The cat froze. Then exploded.
"Uchiha Tobika! You'll regret this!"
Its little paws stomped the ground until dust quivered.
I left it to rage behind me, its soft girlish voice echoing down the road long after.
By the time I reached home, something important hit me.
My system mission. I'd completely forgotten to claim the reward, thanks to Yakura accepting my confession and scrambling my brain.
I glanced back at the cat sulking in the distance, then closed my eyes and called out.
"System."
[Congratulations, host, for realizing that sealing a tailed beast inside yourself and borrowing its chakra allows you to function as a walking artillery cannon without ever worrying about running out of chakra again.]
[Proceed to claim rewards?]
My lips twitched. This damn system was definitely roasting me.
Everyone in the world knows jinchuriki get huge chakra reserves. Also, the little bit of tailed-beast chakra I sealed? I spent all of it casting Forbidden Jutsu: Self-Rebirth. Still wasn't enough. I had to borrow chakra from the ninja cats, too.
I forced down every complaint building inside me.
"Claim reward."
Heat surged into both my eyes. Pain shot deep along the optic nerves.
"Tch..."
I gritted my teeth, but a part of me couldn't help being impressed.
For once, the system was actually useful.
That burst of energy felt like two months of grueling training condensed into a few seconds.
If I convert that into progress...
My Mangekyo Sharingan awakening bar now sat at: 4000⁄10000.
At this rate, I'd need another three or four years to open it.
Not bad.
"Good system," I muttered, giving a token thumbs-up.
Then I turned to the other two rewards.
First: Taijutsu Training Acceleration Card (30 days). The description launched into some dramatic Q&A:
Q: If I train taijutsu for one day while others train for three, how do I catch up?A: With this brutally effective card, your one day equals their three.
Q: When facing geniuses with superior bodies, what should I do?A: With this card, you'll stand beside geniuses in one month.
I stared at the scroll for a full minute.
So it's just three-times training speed. They make it sound like enlightenment.
And based on the effect, this thing isn't going to fast-track me to Eight Gates mastery.
I tossed it aside and inspected the final prize, trying not to get my hopes up.
A weapon similar to Samehada.
Samehada: the massive, deep-blue blade covered in backward-facing scales; it could shred opponents, absorb chakra, and feed that chakra back into the wielder. A living weapon that only accepted those it liked.
I remembered the scene where Samehada basically worshipped the Eight-Tails and grimaced.
I don't like sycophantic blades.Though, to be fair, I don't mind if it sucks up to me.
I read the description carefully.
[Weapon similar to Samehada.]
[Personality: wild and unrestrained. Laughs like a typical Uchiha on a good day. Usually normal, but once excited, it screams, curses, and habitually mocks opponents.]
Silence.
A creeping premonition crawled up my spine.
Something here was wrong.
Samehada doesn't talk.This one apparently won't shut up.And it specializes in insults.
I rubbed my forehead, already imagining migraines.
So there's actually a category of weapons built for verbal harassment? Seriously?