Inside Naruto's apartment, three Narutos were having a serious discussion, while seven others were trying to get better control over their chakra. They were practicing the tree-climbing technique, well, more like wall climbing in this situation. But still, training had officially started today.
And after tomorrow, things would only get busier. A new training ground, missions, real responsibilities. It wouldn't be easy, but he could manage. It would be rough at the start, but not impossible.
And he couldn't wait to start something real! Kakashi in the canon barely trained Team-7. So Naruto doesn't have any hopes that he will do in reality as well. But it would be nice if he did. We can't say what the future holds after all...
But that wasn't the topic right now. The topic was today events experienced by Naruto—especially Kakashi.
Naruto had noticed a look in Kakashi's eyes. It wasn't indifference. It wasn't the cold judgment he got from villagers. It was something else… something like when your eyes look at something, but your mind doesn't register any of it. That dazed, hollow, distant feeling.
Kakashi's eyes had that look.
"Boss! Kakashi seems different than the canon."
Clone one said, arms crossed.
Naruto nodded. Clone Two nodded as well.
"But that's normal. We can't expect everything to go exactly like the canon. Canon is a macro perspective of this world—our lives. It never fully focused on tiny stuff. Expressions, reactions, small details… all glossed over, basically,"
Naruto said.
The two clones nodded again.
"And expecting everything to go one-to-one like the canon? That's stupid. Do you know how many isekai protagonists get flattened because they think everything HAS to follow canon?"
Naruto added. He had seen countless anime and read countless webnovels in the projection that even he understood that taking things for granted is a baaad idea~~~.
Both the shadow clones nodded grimly, like veterans remembering fallen comrades.
"Well, enough about Kakashi."
A pause.
"Even though our next topic is also Kakashi, heh~"
Naruto continued with a short laugh, waving that part away,
"we need a strategy to defeat him fast. Graduate, get this over with, and start real training for real this time!"
The clones nodded.
"What strategy do you think we should use?"
Shadow Clone 2 asked, rubbing his chin like an old sage.
Naruto's mouth curled into an evil smile.
"Obviously—the one canon Naruto used to beat Kakashi! But we're going to use it waaayyyy~~ wwaaaayyy earlier~~~."
A pause. Then-
"Hehe~ Muahahahahahahahahah~~~"
He started laughing in full Tom style.
The Shadow Clones paused and stared at him, watching their boss turn spiritually into a demon with horns, a tail, and a trident. They couldn't help but think that their boss was trying too hard to copy Tom.
Then they shrugged and went back to training.
=====
Next morning, in the Forest of Death—just outside Konoha—Naruto arrived and saw Sakura and Sasuke sitting under the shade of a tree. Both of them looked irritated.
Naruto had taken his sweet time getting ready. He was little over two and half an hour late. And by the time he got to the training ground, it was already time for Kakashi to arrive.
Naruto felt confident that Kakashi won't arrive early but there was this uncertainty at the back of his mind but Naruto shoved it aside like a rugby player shoving another one aside.
He knew that if he arrived late and Kakashi arrived early, they would wait. A pay back of sort to Kakashi for making his students wait. Making sure he knows what it feels to wait for someone.
...Only if he arrived early that is. And it seems like he wasn't. Naruto relaxed involuntarily.
Sasuke had his arms crossed, brooding so hard his emo aura could've formed a barrier. Bros got no chillll~.
Sakura wasn't even looking at him; she was scanning around until she spotted Naruto, probably looking for Kakashi and hoping if she looked aroundenough, he would pop into existence or something... probably. She shot to her feet and marched toward him.
"Baka Naruto!! Why are you late?"
She stopped right in front of him. Naruto stepped back a little to keep a safe distance. He never knew when this girl would lose control and punch him into orbit. Last thing he wanted to do was be punched.
He was already malnourished, poor, little orphan, unhealthy boy~. He couldn't the title of simp to that as well. That would be... yeah. That would be tragic. He needed change his status effects somehow. Orphan is not something changeable but other things can.
Naruto crossed his arms, rubbed his chin, and tried to think of a safe answer. He wanted to toss out something corny, but that was a guaranteed hospital trip. So he gave the calmest, cleanest excuse he could muster.
"Well, you see, Sakura-chan… I know Kakashi-sensei gets lost a lot on the path of life. So if a Jōnin-sensei can get lost, what's stopping me from getting lost in my own house? Besides, I'm not actually late. As long as Kakashi-sensei isn't here, we're all on time."
He shrugged.
Sakura's body shook with rage, and just when she was about to explode— when a wild Kakashi appeared!!
Kakashi's body flickered into existence. And Woah~~ he actually did pop into existence didn't he? Looks like Sakura-chans efforts weren't in vain after all!!
"Yo,"
Kakashi said, lazy and cheerful, eye arching up as if he found the whole scene amusing.
"Kakashi-sensei!! Why are you late?!"
Sakura immediately switched targets.
Kakashi shrugged.
"Sorry I'm late. I got lost on the path of life."
"See?"
Naruto said from the side. He even made Kabelame gesture to emphasise.
Kakashi glanced at him, then at Sakura, then at Sasuke, who stood up and walked over with his usual brooding expression.
"Alright everyone, gather up. We're going to start the test."
Kakashi said with a sigh.
The three stayed silent.
"The bell test."
Kakashi pulled out two bells.
"Why are there only two?"
Sakura asked.
"Good observation,"
Kakashi said with a smile that flattened instantly. Then he went into the same speech as in canon. Naruto wasn't even listening. He just wanted to get this over with. But he didn't speak up or act impatient.
Patience was key. A lion only strikes when the prey drops its guard. Naruto needed Kakashi's guard down after the rules. Besides, he already knew the dialogue and rules and even the out for fucks sake!!
...Hmm~ Naruto couldn't help but feel that he was kind of like a prophet at this point.
And once the usual warnings were done, the test began. Sasuke and Sakura immediately bolted into the forest.
Naruto stayed where he was, hands clasped behind his back, watching both directions. Kakashi pulled out Icha Icha Paradise and looked at him.
"…Are you not going to hide?"
Kakashi asked, voice suddenly flat.
Naruto noticed the shift in tone. Kakashi barely looked at him. Naruto just shrugged. Adults had mental issues; that wasn't his problem. He wouldn't die if one more person got added to the list of people that didn't care about him.
Life was harsh.
He unclasped his hands and summoned twenty shadow clones. Smoke filled the area as they rushed Kakashi. Kakashi's eye widened a little before he dodged and countered, making the clones pop one after another.
The number dropped fast, but Naruto summoned more, and more again. By the third wave, the whole clearing was fogged with chakra smoke.
Then Naruto summoned another batch that immediately surrounded Kakashi.
"It won't work,"
Kakashi said, not even looking up from his book.
Naruto didn't answer. The clones didn't answer either.
A sudden burst of smoke.
Every clone transformed into a busty, beautiful woman.
Kakashi looked up.
And froze.
A whole ring of Icha Icha cover models stared back at him, giggling.
His eye widened. Then—
BLOOSH!!
A fountain of blood erupted from under his mask like a broken fire hydrant. Kakashi collapsed with a perverted giggle.
"Eheheheheheh~~~"
Naruto dispelled the clones and calmly walked over. Kakashi lay there twitching with a smile.
Naruto took the bell and walked off to sit under a tree's shade.
A moment later, Sasuke and Sakura came out of hiding, both stunned. At first they thought Naruto was wasting chakra, but the raw number of clones he kept pumping out… that wasn't normal. Summoning more than eighty clones in one morning was nothing to scoff at.
Naruto sat there rolling the bell between his fingers with a goofy grin. Sasuke felt something weird. A little tingle in his gut. Maybe his pride. Maybe his ego. Maybe his balls. Who knew~.
"Baka Naruto! What was that!?"
Sakura shouted.
Naruto looked up.
"Transformation jutsu,"
He said simply. And before Sakura could question further and say,'That's not what I meant!!'.
He noticed Kakashi waking up, so he stood up and walked over. He held the bells out as Kakashi wiped the blood off his mask.
Somehow without lowering the mask. Strong people had weird habits. It's not like he was curious or anything. He already knew Kakashi's face.
"Kakashi-sensei~ here are your balls- I mean bells."
Naruto said. He kept a straight face. He had let his impulsive thoughts win for a moment and slipped. He chose to ignore the slip... and he wouldn't lie, he felt immense thrill for some reason... was he developing some weird quirks as well...?
Kakashi stared at Naruto, then the bells, then sighed in defeat.
"Well that... was an innovative technique."
He straightened.
"So who are you giving these to? Who's going back to the Academy?"
Naruto didn't think too hard about it. He gave or more like tossed one toward Sakura and one toward Sasuke. They caught them on instinct.
"There."
Naruto stepped aside.
And just like canon, Sasuke—our resident brooding prince—refused to accept anything from the "dead-last clown." He tossed it to the ground. Sakura, loyal to her crush, threw hers down too.
Naruto clenched his jaw. He really couldn't understand what was so special about this emo boy. But he kept quiet, hands behind his back.
Kakashi went into the usual speech, the same one Naruto had read and watched a hundred times. Naruto let the words just flow in one ear and out the other. His mind was already on training. He had time today. Maybe he'd go home.
Maybe to his new training ground. Two months before the Land of Waves... probably. No time was stated in the canon after all. Or there was he was just too dumb to notice it. But it doesn't matter.
All that mattered was that he needed to get stronger then his canon self before the mission.
He needed to get strong enough to beat Zabuza into a pulp and maybe save Haku. If not? Tough luck. He wasn't going to cry over strangers.
Kakashi finished the lecture and congratulated them on becoming genin. Then he flickered away.
Naruto turned immediately and was about to sprint home when Sakura-chan called out,
"N-Naruto! Wait!"
He looked back and saw her walking toward him.
"What is it, Sakura-chan?"
He asked, eyebrow raised.
Sakura opened her mouth… and nothing came out. She didn't even know why she called him... no, she did but pride was choking her. She wanted to thank him, but thanking Naruto would ignite his annoying side, and she wasn't risking that. She was at loss for words.
Stuck between rock and hard place.
Naruto watched her struggle and sighed.
"Welp, Sakura-chaan~, looks like you don't have anything to say. I'll be going then. Byyyyee~"
He didn't give her a chance to try again—he just took off toward Konoha.
Sakura stared at his back and couldn't help but notice he'd changed.
Sasuke watched from the side with crossed arms, snorted, and headed back to the village too. He didn't even get to do anything. His pride stung hard. He needed to train HARDERRR~...
Sakura watched him walk away, then turned and headed back as well.