Court of Fontaine — Meropide Palace Lounge
The chat had fallen silent again.
Neuvillette sighed, defeated.
"No one wants it… again?"
Furina rolled her eyes dramatically.
"What normal person would want that kind of thing?"
Sure, she found it hilarious.
But actually using it?
That would be beyond mere social death — that was eternal reputation annihilation.
Neuvillette shook his head and sent a message:
Neuvillette: Since no one needs it… I'll seal it away like yesterday.
If anyone ever does have… such a need… feel free to contact me.
He sealed the River of Life Water into a special container and washed the cup thoroughly.
Selling strange liquids was one thing —
But he would NOT drink them. Never.
Everyone in the chat:
The dignified Hydro Dragon Sovereign…
has become a suspicious water merchant.
And based on his cursed luck…
Who knew what bizarre water would appear tomorrow?
Time to change the topic.
Supernal Cross-World Chat
Lumine: Ahem! Anyway— almost time. I wonder who's up for review today?
Furina: It won't be us again. We just got blasted yesterday!
Zhongli: Four nations have been covered once each. Logically, one of the remaining three will be next. Unless… two at once.
Silence descended.
Sumeru. Natlan. Snezhnaya.
Each had their own unease:
Sumeru had been skipped entirely last time — who knew why.
Natlan was mid-war.
Snezhnaya was plotting… things.
Rewards could be game-changing, but exposing secrets? Dangerous.
Everyone suddenly felt five flavors in one pot — complicated.
Others in chat noticed the mood shift.
Why were they suddenly acting guilty?
But no one asked.
The screen would eventually reveal all secrets anyway.
🍿 Snacks and drinks prepared.
Everyone stared at the sky.
The light-screen activated.
Arthur Studio — Sixth Livestream
His chat exploded instantly.
"Streamer arrived! Teyvat citizens reporting in!"
"Yesterday I prepared to role-play a Sumeru local—
turns out it wasn't Sumeru!!"
"Low-key tho… other than Nahida and Rukkha, there's nothing to review from Sumeru."
"Don't mention the Tree and the Book… my trauma."
"I'm a Hilichurl. Here to enjoy the chaos."
"I'm a Abyss Mage."
"So who we larping today? I need to choose my nationality!"
Arthur smiled.
Happy viewers = happy Emotion Value.
"Welcome back everyone!
Yesterday we reviewed Fontaine's Chief Justice and Lady Navia.
Today— our Genshin Character Review continues."
Two familiar tip notifications popped up:
Neuvillette sent 100 Flying-TV ships!
Navia sent 100 Flying-TV ships!
Their messages followed like ritual:
Neuvillette: Thank you for helping me break the fog of confusion.
Also, I am Hydro Dragon, not an otter! And I will not be poisoned by Inazuman water! (serious emoji)
Navia: Thank you for letting me clear my father's name and protect my people.
I will become the strong, optimistic Fontaine Wild Rose you spoke of!
Please visit the Spina di Rosula someday— I'll give you a proper welcome.
Also— I AM a lady. I would never shout such vulgar lines! (serious.jpg)
Everyone:
Been there, done that. A standard post-review speech package.
Arthur waved it off:
"No need to be formal. Glad I could help.
Now… let's get to the main event."
He leaned forward with a sly smile.
"Today's review is—
The Anemo Archon: Barbatos
and his dragon familiar—
Dvalin!"
Teyvat:
—?!!!?!
Public Chat Explodes
Mora-Lender Tian: MONDSTADT?!
Chef Mao: DID HE JUST SAY GOD?!
Victoria (Church Nun): Praise Barbatos!!!
Lawrence Clan: I CAN FINALLY SEE HIM WITH MY OWN EYES!
Stanley: Wind guide us!!
Owl Bard: Wait— If Anemo is today…
Liuyun Scholar: Next might be… the Geo Archon? 👀
Kujou Artillery: Shogun-sama soon???
Deshret Fan: Little Nahida!!! 🥹
Fontaine Gossip: Furina will definitely be the greatest archon— mark my words!!
Arthur laughed.
Archons = guaranteed explosive reactions.
Just their names alone produced a wave of hype.
Every nation's citizens suddenly became ultra-patriotic fangirls and fanboys.
Wangsheng Funeral Parlor
Hu Tao had been whining about finances to Zhongli nonstop.
Zhongli had been silently resisting the urge to turn into a rock statue.
Then—
"Barbatos and Dvalin will be reviewed today."
Zhongli stood up instantly.
Even Hu Tao was stunned.
"Hold up— why are YOU excited?
You know the Anemo Archon personally or something??"
"I've heard a little,"
Zhongli replied ambiguously.
But his eyes gleamed with a rare excitement.
"Because if they're reviewing Gods…
the Geo Archon might be next."
Rewards from the light-screen could resolve many things.
Even… the impossible.
Hu Tao squinted suspiciously.
Then— enlightenment appeared:
"OH— I GET IT.
You're a little hater of the Geo Archon!
You wanna see the light-screen expose his embarrassing secrets!!!"
"How could a Liyue immortal trash-talk his own god like that?!
Shame! Shame on you!!"
Zhongli: …
That… wasn't completely wrong…
But he obviously couldn't say:
"I AM the Geo Archon."
He sighed.
"Let's watch first."
Narukami — Tenshukaku
Ei: Barbatos today… that means Geo Archon tomorrow…
Then… me the day after?
Her tone held urgency.
Makoto's revival depended on these outcomes.
Yae Miko tapped her fan against her chin.
"Possibly. Probably. Or not.
You never know with the Light-Screen guy."
Ei clenched her fist.
"Even a sliver of chance… I will take it."
Miko smirked:
"Sure~
But in exchange — you'll owe me one favor.
Anything I say."
"Deal!"
Ei didn't even hesitate.
Miko's tails flicked excitedly.
"Then let's watch carefully.
We'll need to learn how to mentally prepare when we're on stage."
Aaru Village — Sanctuary of Surasthana
Nahida hugged her knees, eyes shimmering nervously.
"Archon reviews…
Then… I should finally be included this time… right?"
But the moment she considered her own record:
…her ears drooped.
"Even if I'm too lacking,
The Greater Lord Rukkhadevata will definitely be praised…!"
She made a decision:
"I'll take notes carefully.
Learn how great archons govern their nations.
Someday… I'll do better."
She stared earnestly at the light-screen—
the cutest, most determined bean sprout.
Fontaine — Opera Epiclese Lobby
Furina froze.
"W-Wind… Wind God?!
H-how is it already Archons' turn?!
Gods should be reviewed LAST!!
This is too fast!!!"
She was sweating like the soybean emoji she was compared to.
Because if Barbatos was first—
She. Was. On. The. Timeline.
Very soon.
VERY soon.
To read advanced Chapters, head over to p@treon:
patreon.com/nani_kaito
