"Scaramouche... no..."
"Kunikuzushi."
"I've finally found you."
Hearing the sudden voice behind him, Scaramouche, who had been venting his fury at the top of his lungs, froze.
It felt as though a bucket of ice water had been dumped over his head.
The raging fire in his heart was extinguished in an instant.
Damn it!
I got careless.
His reason returned just as quickly, followed by overwhelming regret.
How had he lost control like that?
Now his location had been exposed.
And there was no mistaking that familiar voice.
Raiden Ei.
I'm finished.
His expression darkened.
Seeing that the puppet before her remained motionless, Ei raised an eyebrow.
"Weren't you talking about restarting the Archon War?"
"Weren't you shouting, 'Beelzebul, I have ascended to godhood!'"
"Well..."
"I'm here now."
"Go on."
"I'll indulge you."
She paused before feigning sudden realization.
"Ah."
"You think one god isn't enough?"
"You wanted a proper Archon War?"
"No problem."
"There are plenty of enthusiastic volunteers in the chat group."
"Barbatos."
"Morax."
"Neuvillette..."
"If you'd like, I can contact them right now."
"With Ayaka's Anywhere Door, they'll be here in no time."
"After all..."
"You are my creation."
"I can at least grant you this small wish."
Scaramouche ground his teeth.
His fists clenched so tightly that cracking sounds echoed through the air.
Damn it...
Wasn't this woman supposed to be socially awkward?
How did she become this sarcastic?
Did Yae Miko infect her or something?
If he could beat her, he'd already have thrown a punch.
Unfortunately—
he couldn't.
He had struggled against even Nahida, the youngest and weakest of The Seven.
How could he possibly challenge Ei?
And she was a battle fanatic.
If she got excited...
Things would only end worse for him.
After a long silence, he slowly relaxed his fists.
Since the ending would be the same regardless...
He might as well suffer a little less.
Taking a deep breath, Scaramouche finally turned around.
Looking at the person he once believed had betrayed him, his expression became complicated.
But he didn't dwell on it.
Instead, he spoke directly.
"It is what it is."
"I'm done resisting."
"As long as you agree to two conditions..."
"I'll go back with you."
"Do whatever you want after that."
"Whether I live or die..."
"I won't complain."
Ei blinked in surprise.
...I haven't even drawn my sword yet.
And he's already surrendered?
That was... unexpectedly straightforward.
Still—
it certainly saved her some effort.
"Go ahead."
She spoke calmly.
"Let's hear them."
Whether she agreed...
That was another matter.
Scaramouche understood exactly what she meant.
But in his current position, he had no leverage whatsoever.
After another deep breath, he spoke.
"My first condition..."
"I refuse to eat anything you cook."
"Especially Nine-Turned Large Intestine."
The infamous dish shown on the light screen had left an unforgettable impression on him.
He wasn't that chef from Liyue.
He wasn't going to knowingly eat questionable intestines.
He'd rather die.
He'd rather have his consciousness erased.
Anything but that.
The moment those words left his mouth—
it was Ei's turn to clench her fists.
She had never expected him to make that request.
What was that supposed to mean?
He'd rather die than eat her cooking?
Good.
Very good.
Lightning crackled around her body.
The terrifying pressure of Electro instantly filled the surroundings.
Scaramouche's heart skipped a beat.
That big of a reaction...?
Did I say something wrong?
Fortunately...
Ei restrained herself.
The lightning faded.
Taking a slow breath, she smiled pleasantly.
"Continue."
She neither accepted nor rejected the condition.
Scaramouche immediately understood.
That little brat in the chat predicted this perfectly...
Damn jinx...
He sighed before continuing.
"I know exactly what I've done."
"Since you've personally come after me..."
"My fate is obvious."
"I've accepted that."
"But I hope my punishment..."
"...comes after the light screen evaluates me."
"I want to hear how it judges my life."
"That's my second condition."
His expression became unusually serious.
Since the appearance of the light screen, countless people had been evaluated.
Their past.
Their future.
Their choices.
Everything.
Many had gained answers they never knew they needed.
Others had finally understood themselves.
Scaramouche believed he was no different.
He also believed that no one else truly understood him.
Everyone viewed him through their own prejudice.
Only the light screen remained completely impartial.
So...
He wanted to hear its judgment.
He wanted to know how it viewed someone who had suffered three betrayals.
Perhaps—
seeing himself from a third-person perspective...
he might discover something he had never noticed before.
Even if he had to die afterward—
at least he'd die understanding himself.
Ei remained silent for a long while.
Eventually, she nodded.
"...Very well."
"I promise."
Scaramouche finally let out a sigh of relief.
He trusted her word.
Without another struggle, he surrendered peacefully.
Ei said nothing further.
She simply took him back toward Tenshukaku.
Just like Tartaglia before him—
Scaramouche's destination would be prison.
Until the day the light screen reached his evaluation.
Villa
"'Who was the person betrayed three times?'"
Seeing the flood of comments asking the same question, Luo Chen smiled.
Who else could it be?
Of course it was Scaramouche.
Truthfully, there was still one aspect of Nahida's story he hadn't discussed.
And that part involved Scaramouche.
It was also the reason Sumeru's story became increasingly controversial starting from Version 3.3, with the debates only growing louder by Version 3.6.
A shame, really.
Versions 3.0, 3.1, and 3.2 had delivered one incredible storyline after another.
Yet those later developments also dragged Nahida into unnecessary controversy.
Even giving rise to that awful "Sanctuary of Surasthana Couple" meme.
Was the Interlude Chapter in Version 3.3 reasonable?
Well...
If one tried hard enough, it could be justified.
After all, following the battle, Sumeru lacked powerful defenders.
Nahida's decision to accept Scaramouche was a rational choice made for her nation's safety.
But if national security had truly been the goal—
there were countless other ways to achieve it.
Yet HoYoverse chose this particular route.
Ultimately...
it was simply to make Scaramouche playable.
The redemption felt incomplete.
The forced narrative connection left many players dissatisfied.
Remembering those events, Luo Chen couldn't help rubbing his temples.
That was precisely why, after much deliberation, he had decided not to comment on the later storyline.
What happened in Genshin Impact was beyond his control.
But as for this Teyvat...
He preferred to let the story end at Version 3.2.
The best possible stopping point.
Shaking away those thoughts, he returned to the topic at hand.
"With that..."
"Our serious evaluation of Greater Lord Rukkhadevata and Nahida officially comes to an end."
"So far, we've covered the Archons of Mondstadt, Liyue, Inazuma, and Sumeru."
"Interestingly enough..."
"Each nation has its own unique relationship between its Archon and its people."
"Barbatos and Morax spend most of their time wandering around doing whatever they please."
"Yet Mondstadt and Liyue remain incredibly well governed."
"Meanwhile..."
"Beelzebul and Nahida both worked hard to govern their nations."
"Yet Inazuma and Sumeru both ended up in terrible states."
"Life really is full of irony."
"And the relationships between these four Archons and their people can be summarized quite simply."
A picture appeared on the livestream.
Mondstadt
A Mondstadt citizen slept peacefully in bed.
Knives and bombs rained down from above.
Standing nearby, Venti spread his arms.
The wind effortlessly blew every threat away.
Liyue
A Liyue citizen slept soundly.
Danger descended from the sky.
Beside the bed stood Zhongli.
Arms folded.
Waiting calmly.
His posture practically said:
"Handle it yourselves."
"If you can't... I'll step in."
Inazuma
An Inazuman slept peacefully.
Standing beside the bed—
Ei herself cheerfully hurled knives and bombs toward them.
Sumeru
A Sumeru citizen floated asleep.
Below them stood Nahida with open arms.
Meanwhile...
Citizens from both sides continuously threw knives and bombs—
not at each other—
but at Nahida.
Luo Chen smiled.
"To put it simply..."
"Mondstadt:I solve my people's problems."
"Liyue:I teach my people to solve their own problems."
"(If they truly can't... I'll solve them myself.)"
"Inazuma:I am my people's problem."
"Sumeru:My people treated me as the problem."
Everyone across Teyvat wore strange expressions.
Oddly enough...
The summary was painfully accurate.
Mondstadt and Liyue burst into laughter.
The people of Inazuma smiled awkwardly.
While the people of Sumeru...
could only lower their heads in shame.
[Ordinary Chat Group]
[Eury]: Thank you, Lord Barbatos, for always solving our problems!]
[Timaeus]: Having Lord Barbatos as our Archon really is wonderful~]
[Ellin]: Let the wind lead! May the songs of freedom never cease! Mondstadt stands with Lord Barbatos!]
[Chef Mao]: Liyue's no different! Rex Lapis taught us to stand on our own!]
[Iron Tongue Tian]: But if we truly can't handle it, Rex Lapis still comes to help! I'm tearing up...]
[Tian Shu]: The Millelith stand firm, the mountains remain unmoved! Liyue stands with Rex Lapis!]
[...]
A Fontainian suddenly asked:
"So... why are the people from Inazuma and Sumeru so quiet?"
The replies were nothing but awkward silence.
One nation's problem had been its Archon.
The other's problem had been its people.
What exactly were they supposed to say?
Fine.
Just wait.
Tomorrow would be Fontaine's turn.
Then everyone would find out what their problem was.
[Transcendent Chat Group]
[Lumine]:
Mondstadt: I solve my people's problems.
Liyue: I teach my people to solve their own problems.
Inazuma: I am my people's problem.
Sumeru: My people treated me as the problem.
"Hahaha! This summary is absolutely perfect!"
[Paimon]: Especially that picture! It's way too accurate!]
[Barbara]: Lord Barbatos dispersed the storms, overthrew the old aristocracy, and resolved Dvalin's crisis. Every time Mondstadt faces danger, he protects us.]
[Keqing]: Rex Lapis guided us toward solving problems ourselves.]
[Ganyu]: Unless we truly cannot... only then does Rex Lapis intervene.]
[Yae Miko]: Hehe~ Ei really was her people's problem. The light screen never misses.]
[Ei]: ...]
[Nilou]: As for Sumeru...]
She coughed awkwardly.
"That was the old Sumeru."
"It'll never happen again."
[Nahida]: 'Wisdom became the enemy of the God of Wisdom'... that's quite an interesting way to put it.]
[Alice]: Tsk tsk... every nation is more entertaining than the last. I wonder what Fontaine's situation will be.]
[Furina]: Hmph! I'm Focalors, the Hydro Archon!]
[Furina]: Naturally, I solve my people's problems!]
[Neuvillette]: In that case... Lady Furina, would you mind solving my overwhelming workload?]
[Furina]: Ahem... I just remembered I have something very important to do. Farewell!]
[Neuvillette]: ...]
The chat instantly fell silent.
So...
Neuvillette didn't count as one of her people?
What a remarkable interpretation.
Poor Neuvillette.
Even the Hydro Dragon Sovereign still couldn't escape endless paperwork.
Everyone silently sympathized with him.
As for Furina...
Although she'd always appeared somewhat theatrical and goofy in the chat—
constantly talking about trials, judgments, and executions—
no one truly underestimated her.
After all...
No fool could successfully play the role of Hydro Archon for five hundred years.
Especially one as beloved throughout Fontaine as she was.
Tomorrow...
It would finally be Fontaine's turn.
And all the truth would be revealed.
Back at the villa, Luo Chen displayed an image of the Aranara.
"Now that we've finished discussing Greater Lord Rukkhadevata and Nahida..."
"Let's move on to the Dendro Archon's familiars."
"The Aranara."
"First, a brief introduction."
"The Aranara are a mysterious race born from the Ashvattha Tree and preserved in Sumeru's legends."
"They are the forest's inhabitants."
"The guardians of trees."
"The Dendro Archon's familiars."
"And mediators between humans and nature."
"They also possess the ability to guide people into dreams and wield a special art known as Ararakalari, which can resist the spread of the Withering."
"In the past, only children—or those whose consciousness had touched Irminsul—could perceive them."
"As for why..."
"We'll get to that later."
"For now..."
"Let's begin our proper evaluation."
"First category—"
"Their wonderfully unique names."
"Aside from their adorable appearances, the thing people remember most about the Aranara..."
"...is how unbelievably complicated their names are."
"And just how complicated are they?"
"Take a look at this."
To read advanced Chapters, head over to p@treon:
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