Everything has been a daze lately and the days have started to blur together since that night. It's like my mind won't catch up with the present. Another sigh escapes my lips.
I've been staring at my empty document for at least an hour now. And I don't think I'll be writing anything soon.
That's it. I can't think of anything else besides that and out of frustration, I slam a fist on my desk and groan. I replay the same memory again for the tenth time today in my head.
Blake kissed me. He kissed me. On New Years. What does this mean now? More importantly, how does he feel about it? Because on that day, when I went back inside his apartment after ten minutes of pure confusion, Blake was acting normal. Calm even. As if nothing had happened. Like he hadn't kissed me at all. So I decided not to address it at all and I came to regret it. I went home shortly after and I haven't seen Blake since.
It's been a week now and he's keeping updated like usual, sending me a few messages here and there. I do the same because, quite honestly, I don't know what to do. It seems like Blake isn't going to mention it and I don't have the courage to bring it up. How do I even do that casually? Would it be weird?
No, it was weird when he kissed me out of nowhere. But then again… was it, though?
My phone rings, and I nearly jump out of my seat at the noise. My breathing hitches. It's him.
I take a deep breath and answer, "Hey."
"Hey, are you busy?"
Yeah, busy thinking about you. "No, what's up?"
"Want to come over and work on our comic? You have the next chapter done, right?"
I release a heavy sigh, reality hitting me hard. "No, I don't. Sorry, I'm kind of in a writing slump right now."
Blake's voice grows softer. "Oh, Charlie. Can I do anything to help?"
I instinctively smile. "I don't think so. But thank you for asking. I'll just be sitting in front of my computer until my brain decides to function again. I'll figure it out."
"No, don't. That's the last thing you should be doing." Blake huffs out in a sudden, authoritative tone. "You haven't left your house at all lately, right?"
"That's right."
A moment of silence before Blake speaks again. "Be ready in twenty minutes. We're going out."
"Out?" I splutter, sitting up straighter. "Out where? And why?"
"To get fresh air and a change of scenery. Just get ready, I'm on my way to pick you up."
Before I can protest, Blake ends the call and I'm left even more dazed.
I haven't been to an arcade since high school and I almost forgot how lively it can be. The place is loud and bustling with people as it should be, but I find a certain calm in being here. My mind drifts back to when Luke and I used to spend our afternoons in countless arcades, hours of fun. Those were good times.
"What game do you want to play first?" Blake asks, breaking me from my trance.
I shrug. "I don't really care. I like all the games here. Which one's your favorite?"
Blake hums, taking a look around. "I don't have a favorite. I'm pretty sure this is my first time going to an arcade. So, you choose."
My eyes widen in utter disbelief. "What?? You're lying."
He chuckles and shakes his head. "I'm not."
"Then why are we here?"
"To get you out of your writing slump, of course! You mentioned it once."
"You mentioned it once."
I raise an eyebrow. "Mentioned what exactly?"
Blake smiles. "That you loved going to the arcade with your friend to unwind and relax. And that's exactly what we're going to do."
He remembered that? I don't even recall what I had for dinner last night and here he is remembering details that I said ages ago. A smile tugs at my lips and I feel warm in my chest just thinking about it.
"Alright," Blake huffs, clasping his hands together. "Since you can't choose, let's shoot some basketballs first."
My eyes turn to the right, noticing the row of basketball hoops and nod. "Sure, let's go."
We move to an empty hoop and before I can react Blake already slips in a coin and tosses me a ball. He smiles, "Whoever shoots the most wins."
I grin, already feeling competitive. "What's the prize?"
"What do you want?"
What do I want? "Maybe a favor. Can I save it for later after I win?"
"Sure," Blake smirks. "Bold of you to assume you'll win, though."
I snort, "Oh, it's so on!"
I gather all my strength and shoot the ball with a little too much confidence and not enough precision. It misses and I hear Blake snickering behind me.
"That was just a warm-up," I mutter and quickly grab another ball.
Five shots in and they all miss except for one. I remember being so much better at this. And it certainly doesn't help with Blake's cackling in the background. The timer ends and my score is just pitiful. I turn to Blake with a slight scowl. "Your turn."
He rolls his shoulders, stepping forward with the widest grin. If that smug expression wasn't so attractive, I would've totally smacked him. No, I absolutely wouldn't.
"Watch and learn, Charlie."
Despite my obvious annoyance, I lift my head and watch closely. I note the way Blake's biceps flex when he shoots, his short hair swaying to the side in a flawless manner. I swallow. That's not fair. He's good-looking in whatever he does. It's really no wonder that girls fawn over him on campus. Me included, apparently.
"I win!" Blake declares and I rip my gaze away from him to look at the scoreboard. Surely enough, he beat me by a mile. Of course he did.
"Congrats," I huff, clapping him on the back. "So what do you want?"
He shoots me a wink. "Can I save it for later?"
I roll my eyes in amusement, "Fine."
We alternate shooting a few more balls until we head to another game. This time it's my speciality, a racing game. Blake loses this time and I take the win with great joy. But we're going to ignore the fact that he almost beat me. I still won regardless. Then we move on to Pac-Man next and he takes the victory. That takes us both by surprise since Blake has never played Pac-Man before. My long-acquired Pac-Man skills have failed me.
"Alright, let's move on to that one next."
My gaze follows Blake's finger, pointing at a claw machine. Oh, my deepest enemy. I always sucked at those and I get frustrated really easily. However, to settle the score even, I march over there anyway with renewed determination.
I pop a coin in the slot and take a deep breath. "Which one do you want?"
Blake shoots me a look. "Oh? Trying to get a plushie for me? How sweet."
"Answer the question, Blake. I'm losing time here."
He merely chuckles. "I guess I like that black cat over there the most. Reminds me of someone."
That ugly creature? But if Blake wants it, he gets it. I don't know if he picked that one on purpose, but the plushie is in the far back, almost buried. It's going to be a hassle to get that. Though I try anyway and move the joystick with precise movement. My eyes are focused on the little thing and my breath stills momentarily as I hit the button. I watch as the claw descends, struggling to capture the cat for a brief moment. My eyes widen as it latches onto the claw and makes it safely out. The machine plays a happy tune, shining bright with colors as I jump up with glee.
"I got it!" I exclaim, grabbing the plushie and handing it over to Blake, who stares at me in stunned silence. "One little black cat for you. Here you go."
He squeezes the hell out of that cat. "Wow! I admit. I'm thoroughly impressed, Charlie. I didn't think you'd get it. Especially not on your first try."
I grin proudly. "I'm just the best. You're welcome."
He laughs and takes a step forward, handing me his prize. "My turn. I'll get you that white cat so we can match."
I move to the side, giving him more space as I watch him play. One coin in and he… doesn't get it. I bite back a chuckle. Blake tries again and this time he leans closer, his expression serious. Yet he still doesn't get that white cat after a few tries. I can almost see the vein popping on his head from how hard he's trying to get that silly plushie.
I finally bark out a laugh. Blake has probably already spent over ten dollars on this machine.
"Blake, stop." I huff. "I don't think you're going to get it. Just give it up."
He grumbles, "I want to get it for you."
"I don't need it."
Blake shrugs and continues trying. After twenty minutes of zero luck and an absurd amount of money, he finally gives up. I release a sigh of relief and my expression softens as I see the dejected look on Blake's face.
I pat his shoulder. "It's fine. You did your best."
His frown deepens, staring daggers at the black cat I got him. "Stupid game. Stupid cat. It's rigged anyway."
I nod, stifling back a laugh. Blake grumbles incredulously, but I can see a faint smile tugging at his lips as he turns to me.
Blake snatches the cat from me, "Fine. I'll grant you a wish."
I tilt my head in slight confusion. "For what?"
"I couldn't get you that stupid cat, so I'm giving you a wish. So, what will it be?"
I hum, lost in my thoughts for a moment. A wish does sound nice, but I'm not going to exploit it because Blake offered. Besides, there's nothing I really want.
Just then, my fingers slide over my lips, a certain memory popping in my mind. I swallow, letting out a shaky breath. "I just want to ask you a question and you have to answer it honestly. Can you do that?"
Blake shoots me a confused look, but nods. "Yeah, I can do that. But you're really going to waste a wish on a question?"
I simply nod. "It's important."
"Okay. Then shoot."
"Why did you kiss me at New Years?"
I watch as Blake visibly tenses, his eyes widening for a fraction before he calms his expression. He doesn't answer right away and averts my gaze completely.
"Blake?" I call out, almost hesitant.
"It was a mistake," he breathes after a beat, still avoiding my eyes. "It didn't mean anything and I wasn't really in my right mind. Can we just forget about it?"
My breathing stills, heart dropping as I try to gauge Blake's expression. But all I see is a blank look in his eyes. I don't know what sort of answer I was expecting, but it was definitely not this. A kiss isn't something I can simply forget, but if that's what Blake wants, then… I have no choice but to agree. I don't want to upset him.
"Sure," I murmur, barely keeping my voice from cracking.
Blake gives me a clipped nod and walks off, his back turned to me. I watch as he eyes the gaming consoles we passed a bunch of times already. So, he really wants to act like it never happened. I can do that. It was just a kiss. And usually, guys don't kiss each other. That's right, a mistake just like he called it. I wouldn't want our friendship to fall apart just because of that. Blake certainly doesn't want that either, so he asked me to forget it. Yeah, that's it.
Although no matter how many times I try to replay his words in my head, there's a dull ache in my chest that won't stop. Blake said it didn't mean anything. Though, is it bad that I wanted it to mean something?