King Sable Gets the False Report
Inside his throne room, King Sable slammed the report down so hard it cracked the table.
"The ECLIPSED ORDER destroyed my prison caravan?!"
A trembling scout knelt.
"Y-Yes, my king. Survivors say the attackers were—"
"There WERE no survivors!" Sable interrupted.
The scout swallowed.
"W-well… the bodies looked like it was them. Powerful strikes. Unnatural strength. It must've been—"
"It WAS them," Sable growled.
"They think they can defy me and hide in my kingdom…"
He stood, cape whipping behind him.
"Send more forces. I want them hunted like animals."
The Dreaded Knight bowed.
"It will be done."
Back at the Cave: The Bjorn Interview
The group sat around the fire with Bjorn in the middle like a giant golden retriever who had learned to speak.
Haruto:
"So Bjorn… what exactly are you?"
Bjorn puffed his chest out.
"I am BJORN! Son of Olaf! Warrior of the Frozen Isles! Slayer of bandits! Eater of… many things! Sometimes rocks!"
Ren squinted.
"Rocks?"
Bjorn nodded proudly.
"Yes! They are crunchy. Good for teeth."
Nova facepalmed.
"God save us."
Lira giggled.
"What else do you eat?"
Bjorn thought deeply.
"Hmm… fish… meat… berries… more meat… trees… sometimes dirt."
Ren nearly choked laughing.
"Bro eats the whole environment."
Haruto wiped tears from laughing.
"He's perfect."
Nova & Sataro Begin Their Daily Bickering
Sataro handed Bjorn a blanket.
"Here. Take this. Do NOT eat it."
Bjorn looked disappointed.
"…Not even a little bite?"
"No."
Nova rolled her eyes.
"Oh come on, let the boy nibble the blanket, Dad."
Sataro froze.
"…What did you just call me?"
Nova smirked.
"A bossy, responsible, serious stick-in-the-mud.
So yeah. Dad."
Sataro narrowed his eyes.
"And what does that make you?"
Nova shrugged dramatically.
"The chaotic, sexy, sarcastic one who keeps the family alive."
Sataro raised an eyebrow.
"You're not sexy."
Nova choked.
"S-sHUT UP, I— I DIDN'T EVEN—"
Ren whispered to Lira,
"Oh she's DONE."
Haruto nodded.
"Yeah, that hit her soul."
Bjorn Drops the Bomb
Bjorn clapped loudly, startling everyone.
"YOU TWO FIGHT LIKE MY MOTHER AND FATHER DID BEFORE THEY KISSED!"
Nova:
"WHAT?!"
Bjorn continued proudly.
"Yes! They yell! They insult! They throw fish! Then babies happen!
You two are EXACTLY SAME."
Nova turned BRIGHT RED.
Haruto actually fell over laughing.
Lira giggled into her hands.
Ren held his sides, unable to breathe.
Sataro blinked calmly.
"…We do NOT fight like a married couple."
Bjorn:
"Yes you do.
You are MOM and DAD of group."
Nova:
"I— NO—
I AM NOT—
STOP TALKING—"
Sataro rolled his shoulders.
"Kids, stop calling her mom."
Haruto:
"Okay, Dad."
"STOP," Sataro said, but even he had to hide a laugh.
The Kids Start Chanting
Ren started it.
"Mom. Mom. Mom."
Lira joined.
"Dad and Mom!"
Bjorn, deeply committed:
"MAMMA NOVA! PAPA SATARO!"
Nova buried her face in her hands, bright red.
"S-stop calling me mom! I'm not— I don't even— Sataro say something!!"
Sataro smirked.
"Oh, don't worry, dear. I've got this under control."
Nova froze.
"…w…wh…what?"
Sataro placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Kids, don't upset your mother."
Tone perfectly calm.
The whole cave EXPLODED in screaming laughter.
Nova squeaked — ACTUALLY squeaked — and backed away like she touched fire.
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!! I'M— I'M NOT YOUR—
YOU CAN'T JUST—
WIFE?! M-MOTHER?! NO!!"
Sataro calmly:
"Well, we do argue like an old married couple."
Nova died inside.
"STOP. TALKING."
Sataro — leaning in slightly:
"You're blushing, sweetheart."
Nova's brain completely shut off.
Haruto whispered,
"She's going to collapse."
Ren whispered back,
"Sataro unlocked god mode."
Bjorn nodded wisely.
"Yes. Mom is very flustered. Dad did good."
Scene 6 — The Chapter Ends With Nova Crumbling
Nova turned away, arms stiff, face glowing red.
"DON'T! CALL! ME! MOM!
AND DON'T CALL YOURSELF MY—
YOU KNOW WHAT JUST—
I'M GOING TO BED."
She stomped off, tripping three times.
Sataro sat down calmly, sharpening his blade.
Haruto wiped tears from laughing.
Ren grinned.
"Dad, you're evil."
Sataro shrugged.
"Someone has to keep your mother entertained."
From across the cave:
"SHUT UP!"
The group broke into laughter again.
And for the first time in a long time…
The cave felt warm.
Safe.
Like a real family.