Disappointment Between Two Screens
At 7 PM, Dani sat leaning against his thin mattress, which was starting to feel hard. The sound of dialogue from his phone filled the narrow room, bringing a romantic atmosphere he had never experienced in the real world. The anime he was watching that night was titled Petals of Youth, a story about a high school student struggling to confess his feelings to his classmate.
On the screen, the setting changed to the school rooftop under an orange twilight sky. A young man was seen nervously clutching a love letter. His face flushed as the classmate he liked stood before him, looking at him questioningly.
"I've wanted to say this for a long time," the young man said with a trembling voice. "I... like you. Will you..."
The dialogue hung. Dani paused the video and closed his eyes, trying to calm the pounding in his chest. The scene felt too familiar, not because he had experienced it, but because he knew that if his school days could be repeated, he wouldn't want to be his past self—just a shadow never seen by anyone.
He was lost in thought until his phone alarm broke the silence. The soccer match tonight!
Dani quickly opened the live streaming app for the match. Seeing his cluttered room, he started looking for a way to prop his phone up. After a few minutes of fiddling, he managed to create a stand from old books, pencils, and a roll of duct tape that happened to be nearby.
"There, this is like high-tech engineering," he murmured, satisfied.
The match began. Indonesia started solidly. In the 7th minute, a quick counter-attack happened. An Indonesian player, with a through pass from the midfielder, managed to bring the ball close to Japan's goal. However, the move took too long, and the ball was secured by the Japanese goalkeeper.
"Damn! Too much dribbling! Can't you be faster?!" Dani shouted in frustration.
Suddenly, his phone screen went black. The room fell silent too. A blackout.
"Seriously?" Dani sighed in annoyance. He turned on his phone's flashlight and walked downstairs, finding his mother sitting in the living room, fanning herself with a hand fan.
"Damn, right at the most exciting part, a blackout," Dani complained.
"The only unlucky one here is you, still unemployed," his mother retorted while folding clothes. She was using a lantern for light.
Dani fell silent for a moment, feeling slightly stung.
"Enough, stop complaining. If the lights could turn on just from complaints, it would've been bright long ago," she added, glancing at him briefly.
Dani chose not to reply. He went outside to get some fresh air.
Outside,it was dark. Flashlights from neighbors were the only source of light. Dani stood near the house fence, watching people busy seeking cool air outside their homes.
Suddenly, a flashlight beam hit his face. Dani reflexively raised his hand to shield his eyes. "Hey! What the hell? That hurts my eyes!"
"Relax, bro, it's just a flashlight," Santoso's voice came from the direction of the light. He chuckled as he approached. "Saw you come out. Thought a ghost was hanging out."
"You're the ghost! What are you doing here?" Dani lowered his hand, slightly annoyed but also curious.
Santoso sat on the porch chair next to him. "My house has a blackout too. Bored inside, it's stuffy. Saw you hanging out alone. Not surprised, though."
Dani snorted. "As if my life is so exciting. Just go back, man."
Santoso ignored Dani's remark and instead grinned. "Speaking of which, bro, how can you stand being like this? Lying around, watching anime, jerking off. At your age, no intention to work, huh?"
Dani stared blankly into the yard. "Just chilling, bro. I'm enjoying my life right now."
"Enjoying what? Just lying around?" Santoso shook his head. "Dani, be serious, how long will you be like this? The world isn't waiting for you."
Dani let out a long sigh. "It's not that I don't want to work. But you know what, bro? I've been everywhere looking for jobs, applying left and right. I even used up my savings for transportation, printing CVs, buying neat clothes for interviews, all sorts of things."
Santoso looked at Dani, for the first time without a smile. "Seriously? But why didn't anything stick?"
"Because the working world is brutal, bro," Dani answered bitterly. "I wasted my energy, time, and money, but still no one accepted me. They said I lacked experience, skills weren't enough, or just 'we're looking for a more suitable candidate.' And the requirements are insane, man! A fresh graduate needing 10 years of experience? BULLSHIT!!! I'm so tired, bro. Seriously."
Santoso nodded slowly, spinning his flashlight in his hand. "Yeah, work isn't easy. Even I was stressed at the auto shop initially, had to learn fast so the boss wouldn't get mad. Luckily, my job is just changing oil and helping the senior mechanics."
Dani just shrugged. Their conversation continued until the lights finally came back on. Before leaving, the young man patted Dani's shoulder and said, "If you need job info later, just say so. Maybe I can help."
Dani only replied briefly, "Yeah, whatever."
As Dani was about to enter the house, he saw Rendi standing in front of the fence, looking tired but still full of energy. The boy had just returned with their father after visiting a friend's house, where they watched the Indonesia vs. Japan match together. However, the blackout had trapped them, waiting until the power returned.
"Hey, just got back, Ren? Took so long," Dani said, holding the door.
"Yeah, because of the blackout. How could we go home if we couldn't see the road? But it was fun there! But yeah, Indonesia lost again... 4-0, can you imagine!" Rendi answered, grumbling slightly but with the cheerful face typical of children.
Dani froze for a moment. "Huh? Four-zero? Seriously?"
"Yeah, of course, Bro. Japan is a strong team. Everyone there was saying that earlier," Rendi replied, pulling out an imaginary ball as if demonstrating his own skills.
Their father, who had just finished parking the motorcycle in the yard, joined them. He looked at Dani a bit awkwardly, while Dani just nodded slowly.
"The blackout lasted a long time, huh? Lasted until the match was over," the father started the conversation, his tone friendly though stiff.
"Yeah, Dad... I was just chatting with a friend earlier," Dani answered shortly.
"Oh... that's good. The match was predictable anyway. Japan is unbeatable in Asia right now."
"Yeah... I predicted the same," Dani added half-heartedly, the atmosphere immediately becoming awkward again.
"Alright, let's go inside, it's late," the father ended the conversation with a thin smile before walking in. Dani and Rendi followed behind.
Once inside, Dani immediately went up to the second floor, ignoring Rendi's still cheerful chatter downstairs. His heart felt regretful—not just for missing the big match, but also for seemingly ignoring a precious little moment.
However, when he looked at his phone, Dani let out a long sigh. Petals of Youth was still open, and his chaotic thoughts began to be diverted. Although the stifling feeling from missing the match remained, Dani chose to continue watching.
"I didn't need to watch the match to know the result," he murmured, leaning back on the bed. "Japan is indeed the Asian tiger. No way Indonesia could win, even though we've improved since those naturalized players came."
He started the next episode, holding his phone with one hand. The story in the anime touched him again, offering a brief escape from his disappointment. For Dani, Petals of Youth wasn't just entertainment; it was a world where he could forget reality for a while—at least until the episode ended.
....