The judges were impressed by the display of teamwork and unique solutions to the water breathing and awarded everyone highly. Harry droned out the rest of the desperate posturing and speeches. It was the announcement of the final task that drew back his attention. It was to be held at the end of June - conveniently on the night of the summer solstice. Harry was impressed by the incredibly convenient timing of these things. He could see Sirius restraining mama from stomping over, no doubt prepared to murder Fudge. Harry sighed. It was just his luck, wasn't it?
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"We will be a united front on this, is that clear?" Mama turned to Sirius with a heated expression. He rolled his eyes in return.
"I understand not trusting him, but this is ridiculous. You're paranoid! How can you possibly think it would hurt to tell Dumbledore about the horcruxes?" Sirius matched her tone and without any fanfare, they were arguing again, Harry's presence forgotten.
"If he thinks Voldemort is weakened, he could take the opportunity to attack Harry, you absolute idiot."
"Sure, keep pretending you're the saint. Everything you do is for Harry's wellbeing, you keep telling yourself that. Just admit you're a - "
"Uh, guys?" Harry attempted to interrupt.
" - I'm sorry, do you value the life of Albus Dumbledore over Harry's?"
"I nowhere near implied that!"
"Hey!" Harry said a bit louder.
"We need a wheelbarrow to cart around your ego!"
"Mum! Dad! Stop fighting! You're tearing this family apart!" Harry wailed, throwing every bit of drama into his performance. His words echoed off the walls in the ensuing silence. Both adults stared at him.
"What did you just call me?" Sirius said with a grin that erased every trace of anger from his body.
"Oh wonderful. Excellent job Harry, now he'll think his opinion means something."
Rolling his eyes, Harry held out a finger to silence them both.
"Please, can you stop!" He said, genuine frustration coming through. "Seriously! I know you're both angry. But I've told both of you - several times - that this is a stupid argument. Can't you just apologize and forgive each other?"
"Harry, love this is a serious argument -"
"No! I don't care anymore. Will both of you just shut up for once!?" Harry persevered, cutting them off firmly.
"Harry -!"
"We're late enough as it is! Look, we'll make Dumbledore talk first and share our info carefully. Could you two not bicker in front of the Headmaster?"
Sirius slumped. "Alright. Sounds good kiddo. I'm sorry for arguing in front of you."
"I'm more sorry than Sirius is."
"No, I'm more sorry!"
"Guys! Honestly, who is the adult here?"
They both spluttered in indignation but kept silent as they trailed behind Harry like scolded children. Harry was tempted to leave them both behind and deal with Dumbledore himself.
All of them simmering with anger, they entered the office to see Dumbledore and Fawkes playing tug of war with an important-looking length of parchment. The floor was littered with torn shreds of paper as the squawking animal refused to give up his hold on the document while Dumbledore swore up a storm and demanded the bird release the paper.
"Ah! Greetings, my boy!" Dumbledore said calmly as he swatted the phoenix with a rolled-up newspaper. Squawking in outrage, Fawkes finally dropped the parchment and ruffled his feathers before fleeing to his perch and contemplating shitting in the man's bed later. "And good evening, Sirius, Alabasandria. How are you three doing?"
Mama grunted and slumped into a seat.
Dumbledore was not perturbed as he forced them to engage in twenty minutes of polite small talk. His eyes twinkled annoyingly behind his half-moon glasses, and Harry suspected he was deriving joy from the intense and awkward tension cutting through the air. Honestly, if Harry was not as equally annoyed as his parents, he would have appreciated the power move.
"So, Voldemort," Sirius finally interrupted. "Shall we cut to the chase?"
"Very well," Dumbledore agreed. Clasping his hands, he regaled them with dark eyes. The tension snapped and faded as the adults leaned forward. Generals plotting the next strike. Animals on a hunt. With a feral grin, Alabasandria tossed the broken Hufflepuff Cup onto the desk.
"Proof of our goodwill. Tell us what you've found."
Dumbledore inspected the cracked chalice. His blackened fingers trailed over the embossed crest and his face erupted in a grin only marginally less terrifying than Alabasandria's typically were. Wide and sharp and a good reminder that no matter how boring and old and anti-Dark Arts the man was, he was a formidable man who was not interested in letting Voldemort off easily. Harry couldn't help but be impressed. This was not Headmaster Dumbledore, but the Leader of the Order of the Phoenix and Supreme Pain In The Ass.
"This is excellent to see," Dumbledore said evenly. Leaning back, he opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a bundle of parchment which he passed to Alabasandria. "I've been researching Tom's past extensively. I have confirmed three horcruxes and feel quite strongly about a fourth. The diary from Harry's second year. The Gaunt lordship ring," he twisted the Resurrection Stone on his finger idly, "the Slytherin heirloom locket - the exact location of which I believe I am close to uncovering, and lastly Tom's familiar, the snake Nagini, is the one I am least certain of."
"His familiar…" Alabasandria pondered. "Hmm. How perverse, to use something organic for the ritual." Harry rubbed his faint lightning bolt scar with a grimace.