I figured the subway pervert wasn't going to show up today.
Xiao Qin was standing right in front of me, holding onto my arm to keep her balance. To anyone watching, we definitely looked like a couple.Not that I would agree with that.
If a girl gets molested while her boyfriend is standing right there, she'd scream or fight back—even the shy ones.That alone is enough to scare any creep away.
Which means I can probably escort Xiao Qin home without breaking a sweat…and then finally reclaim my long-lost Optimus Prime.
My mind drifted.
Some of my happiest childhood memories were with my Transformers toys. My earliest dreams were simple:
Own an Optimus Prime to lead my toy army.
Grow up and become a martial arts star.
Bruce Lee wiping out bad guys on screen left a huge impression on me.Jet Li's moves were pure art. I especially loved him in The Bodyguard from Beijing.
Honestly, wanting to become the next Bruce Lee or Jet Li absolutely had something to do with getting bullied by Little Tyrant.
Looking back now… it's kind of embarrassing.
Not many people know about this—my dad is one of the few.
A few years ago, the area around West City built a movie town. The construction went on late into the night and drove everyone crazy.
My dad teased me, "Since there'll be tons of actors filming here soon, want me to take you to see them?"
But that was around the time Xiao Qin stole my Optimus Prime, so I was too depressed to care.
Besides, Bruce Lee's obviously not coming, Jet Li was already in Hollywood, and I had zero interest in seeing actors shoot some sappy period drama.
Then my dad said, half-joking, "I met a director online recently. Want me to introduce you? Didn't you say you've been training to become a martial arts star? Might be your chance."
But by that point, my only goal was to beat up Little Tyrant.
Why did I give up on being a martial arts star?
The reactions I get from passengers on the subway are the answer.
I don't look like a "good guy."
Doesn't matter how strong I get—if my face makes people uneasy, I'll never be cast as the main hero.I'd be like that bald actor who always loses to Jet Li in old movies—playing villains forever, defeated in every scene, never the protagonist.
If Little Tyrant were a guy, he'd definitely get the hero role.No matter how much I trained, I'd only land a few hits before he dramatically defeats me halfway through the film.
It's so unfair.
And since everyone already thinks I look like a delinquent, if I take a villain role in a martial arts film, I'd never hear the end of it.
Little Tyrant's fans would probably throw rotten eggs at me every time I walked outside.
That poor actor Ji Chunhua—being villain-coded for twenty years must've been rough.
Forget it. Let my dream scatter into the wind.
"Haruya, what are you thinking about?" Xiao Qin asked, looking at me like she was scolding me.
"If you're not paying attention, what if someone molests me again!?"
"The pervert's probably not showing up."
I raised my hand to scratch my itchy scalp.Ugh. That's a LOT of dandruff.Am I going to end up bald like Ji Chunhua…?
"Ah—your hand's bleeding!" Xiao Qin said, suddenly fussing.
What are you talking about? Didn't you see me stabbing my hand with a compass earlier? It's nothing. I've had worse fighting delinquents.
As kids, you once kicked me into a river so hard half my face was bleeding—you didn't care THEN.
Just thinking about it pisses me off again.
"It's best if we disinfect it, right? Can I help?" Xiao Qin asked sweetly.
Does she seriously have a first-aid kit in her bag?
It's not a big wound, but since she caused it, maybe letting her help will calm me down a little.
"How are you planning to disinfect it? Band-Aid? Rubbing alcohol?"
"…Tongue."
"Get lost!"
"Why are you being so rough!?"
"Stop irritating me! I'm going to walk you home properly, and then you're going to hand over my kidnapped Optimus Prime. Got it?"
When I said "Optimus Prime," I lowered my voice. If anyone nearby finds out a fourteen-year-old still cares about Transformers, I'll die of embarrassment.
"Haruya, why do you think perverts molest girls?" Xiao Qin asked, immediately changing topics.
"Because they can't control their disgusting desires! Why are you asking!?"
"Well… I read in a manga that the heroine met the male lead because he was caught molesting her, so—"
"WHAT!?"
"I'm just saying… even young men have those impulses, right? For example, if Haruya sees a really attractive girl standing next to you, wouldn't you feel the urge to touch her?"
"O-of course not!"
…Okay, maybe I'd get a tiny impulse.If she was wearing a very short skirt.That kind of intrusive thought does happen.But I crush it instantly, and I'd never admit it out loud—especially to Xiao Qin.
"You don't sound too confident… Haruya, do you want to molest me right now?" she asked with a terrifyingly bright smile.
WHAT PART OF THAT QUESTION IS NORMAL!?
"I invited you to protect me so I won't get molested! Why would I molest you!?"
"Well… if Haruya wants to try, do you want me facing you… or turning around?" she asked lightly.
"I DON'T WANT TO TRY ANYTHING!"
"Really?" she tilted her head adorably, completely insane.
"Yes! Stop talking like that! I swear you've fried your brain reading too many shoujo manga!"
"But… all guys fantasize about stuff like that, right? Molesting a cute girl on a crowded bus or train…"
I wanted to deny it—but even I didn't sound fully convinced.
"That dirty uncle probably had dreams like that too when he was a student," Xiao Qin continued thoughtfully. "He couldn't fulfill them back then, so when he became an adult, he used his position to live out his fantasies.—To keep YOU from becoming that kind of adult, you might as well fulfill your fantasy now using my body!"
"I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF FANTASY! And stop making yourself sound noble—you're messing with me!"
"Hmm… do you maybe dislike people you already know? Is it not exciting if you're familiar with the girl? In that case, I can pretend not to know you, and you can molest me like it's our first meeting. How about that?"
STOP TALKING.Even with the train this loud, someone might still hear us!
Suddenly—
A hand touched my butt.
A… pervert!?He's touching ME!?
Are you courting death!?
There are so many better life choices, and yet you choose THIS!?Also—what kind of evolutionary leap IS THIS!?Do you molest both guys AND girls now!?Congratulations, sir—you've reached the final form of perversion!
The train was too crowded. I couldn't see whose hand it was. I scanned the passengers, but I didn't see anyone matching Xiao Qin's description of the creep.
Another pervert?A gay pervert?Or someone aiming for Xiao Qin but missing the target!?
Public morals are crumbling!Perverts everywhere!This city is doomed!
I wanted to grab his hand and twist it off, but I couldn't move my arm in the packed crowd.
This creep, meanwhile, seemed extremely dedicated to exploring my backside.
I tightened my glutes until they felt like rock.Maybe then he'd realize he wasn't touching a girl.
But no—he doubled down, touching even more enthusiastically.His technique evolved too.First he fluttered his fingers like a bee dancing,then he played my butt like a piano keyboard,and finally, he gave it a firm smack—like punishing a naughty child.
I glared around. Everyone avoided eye contact.
Except one woman.
A woman who looked like an AV idol.She was smiling at me.
Maybe twenty-five or twenty-six.Tall, slender, wearing a white uniform,soft, curled brown hair,a mature woman with a dangerously seductive aura.
She looked at me with playful, half-lidded eyes.Her lips—bright red—lifted into a smirk.
Then she leaned in…pressing her chest lightly against my back.
My whole body froze.My brain short-circuited.
What kind of plot twist is this!?
I've never even HEARD of a beautiful female pervert!If she went looking for a boyfriend, men would line up down the block!Why does she have to pinch an eighth-grader's butt!?
What do I do!?Xiao Qin hasn't noticed, right?Should I tell her?No way—that's humiliating!Being molested by a woman is ten times more embarrassing!
Should I grab her hand?Would anyone believe me if I accused her?Or would she flip the script and say I molested her?