Chapter 101 — Workplace PUA! Opening Kill!
As the Champions League quarterfinal drew near, almost all of London was talking about the word "revenge."
For those supporting Arsenal, the "revenge" he spoke of was literal.
For the Spurs lot, their "revenge" meant eating, sleeping, and beating Arsenal.
In short, Arsenal vs Barcelona was the hottest tie in the Champions League quarterfinals — broadcasts had been applied for in 126 countries, and more than two hundred TV stations…
It was 4:00 p.m. on April 3rd, four hours before the match.
Outside the Emirates Stadium it was as lively as the "Hei River morning market." The comparison to a "Hei River morning market" was used because most people on the stadium plaza at that time were visitors from out of town.
Arsenal and Barcelona fans from around the world had gathered outside the stadium — there were Chinese, Japanese, Saudis, Qataris, but more from several European countries.
The only slight downside was that there were twice as many fans wearing Barcelona shirts as there were Arsenal fans.
Of course, that was just among the visiting supporters.
Once the local fans arrived, Arsenal fans would certainly be the masters of the Emirates.
In addition, reporters from various countries weaved through the crowds conducting interviews and reports.
An hour before kickoff, the number of Arsenal fans outside the stadium clearly outnumbered Barcelona's.
As the start time drew near the fans' enthusiasm was gradually lit; they began singing and taunting the opponents.
For example: "Barça, Barça, Barça — Messi the princess and the seven dwarfs."
Compared to Bayern, Arsenal fans were not friendly to Barcelona fans.
The two clubs did not really have a historical grudge, but after that Champions League slap it was hard for friendship to remain — at least between the fans…
Soon Barcelona's coach bus arrived. They had come to London a day early and had used Tottenham's training base, which was one reason Arsenal fans disliked Tottenham.
Many Barcelona fans at the bus entrance chanted names like Messi, Xavi… and made the hand gesture for the number "6"…
Then Arsenal's bus arrived. Xia Qi sat by the window; he saw Chinese students holding up the five-star red flag and a "Shanxi Supporters Association" banner.
Excited, he called the bus to a halt. Facing Arsène Wenger's sharp gaze, Xia Qi smiled obsequiously: "One minute, just one minute."
Seeing the bus stop at the entrance, security immediately moved forward to raise a cordon.
Xia Qi got off and asked: "Where are you from?"
"Shanxi?"
"Taiyuan, Datong, Linfen…"
"Ah! Fellow townsman!"
"Folks, the stadium food area sells Lanzhou ramen and soup dumplings; shout my name and I'll pay…"
"We want photos and autographs — is that okay?"
"After the match, wait for me there…"
"Oh…" The Shanxi fans cheered…
Xia Qi didn't know that what started as inviting his Shanxi fellow townsmen would end up as inviting all Arsenal fans.
Afterward, when the stadium restaurant bill came, a month's wages were gone — a bowl of ramen four pounds, a basket of soup dumplings two pounds… but there were so many people.
But it didn't matter. Single or not, one person being full meant the whole family wouldn't starve — it was all for fun. Shanxi townsmen abroad were rare… as precious as pandas.
…
Half an hour before the match, light warm-up music played around the Emirates.
When the Barcelona players came out to warm up, a chorus of boos erupted.
When the stadium big screen cut to a close-up of Lionel Messi, the booing swelled violently; some even shouted, "Ronaldo Ballon d'Or!" "Ronaldo No.1!"
Three months earlier — on January 7, 2013 — Messi had once again beaten Cristiano Ronaldo to win the 2012 Ballon d'Or, becoming the first player in Ballon d'Or history to successfully defend the award.
This left the "Ronaldo fans" furious!
Among Messi's many Ballon d'Or wins, the 2012 award was the most undisputed and persuasive.
Messi scored 91 goals in the 2012 calendar year — a terrifying number — and did so in just 69 matches, with 24 assists.
Of those, 59 goals were in La Liga, 13 in the Champions League, and 5 in the Copa del Rey.
Among the 91 goals, 79 were scored at Barcelona's home ground.
If one wanted to nitpick, one could label Messi a home-ground titan and an away-ground lightweight — that he had less dominance outside Camp Nou.
Arsenal fans also understood the above, but tonight Messi was the "enemy"!
Hearing the chants of "Ronaldo Ballon d'Or" around the stadium, 26-year-old Messi lost his smile.
When a close-up of Xia Qi appeared on the big screen, the taunts aimed at Messi were drowned out by bigger cheers; some fans even showed Xia Qi a soup dumpling in one hand and a beer in the other.
Those soup dumplings had been paid for by Xia Qi — almost everyone had a box.
Soup dumplings with beer — you'd probably only see foreigners doing that — but that wasn't the strangest thing. When Mario Balotelli soaked instant noodles he even added a bowl of rice, and that nearly broke Xia Qi.
Greater China — culinary paradise!
England — culinary desert!
…
Arsenal locker room
Arsène Wenger stood at the locker room door, slowly looked around at the players and said, "Since you've chosen the path of revenge and revival, then let's work together!"
"If we want to eliminate Barcelona, we have to beat them tonight. I've gone over the necessary precautions in training these last few days, so I won't repeat them."
He unbuckled the watch on his wrist and showed it to the players as he finished: "Twenty minutes left. Are you ready?"
"Ready!"
"Go fight!"
At the same time, Barcelona head coach Tito Vilanova was giving his pre-match talk:
"Arsenal are our old friends."
Except for one or two players like Messi, the others laughed.
Tito Vilanova clapped his hands to quiet the players.
"Past results mean nothing. This season's Arsenal are somewhat different — they're a bit younger."
"Those kids? Leave them to me!"
"Gerard (Piqué), Boateng felt the same — he went down in front of Xia Qi."
"We can be dismissive strategically, but tactically we must take them seriously…"
"Almost every team that faces us uses high balls, so when defending the aerials, Gerard you must be a hundred and twenty percent focused."
In the players' tunnel, that Champions League theme song of "my team has collapsed" played again, and Xia Qi silently vowed: tonight my team will not collapse.
"Penguin Sports!"
"Penguin Sports!"
"Dear viewers, welcome to the Penguin broadcast — on time for the first leg of the 2012–2013 Champions League quarterfinals.
"I'm your old friend Zhang Lu,
"I'm Zhan Jun.
"Tonight's match: Premier League leaders Arsenal vs La Liga giants Barcelona.
"As everyone knows, Barcelona have been Arsenal's nemesis.
"Barcelona went through a coaching change this season, but it didn't affect their results.
"In La Liga they are in a league of their own, leading Real Madrid by 15 points."
"The match is about to start. Zhang, please introduce tonight's starting lineups to the fans."
"Okay."
"The away team Barcelona are lining up in a 4-3-3 tonight:
"Goalkeeper: Víctor Valdés
"Right-back: Dani Alves
"Centre-back pairing: Gerard Piqué and Marc Bartra
"Left-back: Jordi Alba
"Midfield is the renowned Xavi Hernández.
"Front three: Alexis Sánchez, Lionel Messi, Pedro Rodríguez
"On the bench: Cesc Fàbregas, Thiago, Alex Song…"
"Arsenal are playing a 4-5-1 tonight:
"Goalkeeper: Martínez,
"Left-back Kieran Gibbs, the center-back pairing of Per Mertesacker and Samuel Umtiti, and Aurier at right-back.
"Mikel Arteta and Santi Cazorla continue to pair as the two defensive midfielders.
"Xia Qi plays left winger, Jack Wilshere is the attacking midfielder, Theo Walcott is right winger.
"Mario Balotelli as the lone striker."
"Interesting. Arsenal are back to a four-man defense with two holding midfielders; Wenger's intention isn't clear yet, but Wenger always adjusts his lineup when facing strong opponents — we'll see what he's trying to do as the match goes on."
"All right, fans, the players are already standing on the center circle ready to kick off."
Beep!
"The match has started. The team in dark blue shirts is Barcelona, attacking from the left of the screen to the right; the team in red shirts is Arsenal…"
…
On the pitch
"Ding dong"
"Please choose the host mode: 'Training' or 'Match'."
"Match."
"Please choose the pitch position: A Forward, B…"
"A."
"Detected that the host's team is currently in difficulty. Matching host attribute: [Jianwu Bomber]."
"The host is twenty meters from goal, can glide, can dive, free like the wind…"
"Please choose 'Autonomous Mode' or 'One-Click AFK Mode'"
"One-Click AFK!"
On the pitch the players shook hands.
When womanizer Gerard Piqué shook Xia Qi's hand he said, trying to be gracious: "Enjoy the match!"
On the surface it was a harmless remark — a friendly line.
But said in a condescending tone to an opponent, it was suggestive…
Does that already decide the outcome???
Xia Qi guessed Piqué wasn't the only one with this attitude; perhaps the whole Barcelona team was already ready to pop the champagne.
"Ding dong! Detection: host has been contemptuously disdained by others — hidden quest triggered."
Xia Qi was ecstatic — it had been a long time since a hidden quest had appeared.
"Hidden Quest: Achieve fivefold glory in this match; smash the opponent."
"Quest reward: Kingly Aura attribute."
"Kingly Aura attribute: The host can designate a 10-square-meter area anywhere on the pitch as his realm, and within that area the host is an invincible king.
"This area must be set before the match and cannot be changed once set. It can be reset for each match."
Holy crap!
Awesome!
Isn't this the "Piero corridor"?
Only a bit harder — this Barcelona that can annihilate Arsenal has a god-level player in their ranks…
…
Very difficult.
This was also the view of the two commentators on Penguin Sports.
As the players entered the pitch, the cameras cut to close-ups of Messi and Xia Qi.
"Messi looks calm and full of confidence, like he's clocking in for work."
Xia Qi also looked calm.
But Zhang Lu said: "Xia Qi isn't excited enough. A disadvantaged Arsenal needs him to get fired up early and take on the responsibility to score."
"In such a crucial match, we need an 18-year-old to step up and take responsibility. I know it's unreasonable to demand so much, but I can't find anyone more suitable than him."
…
Very difficult!
This was the opinion of most viewers in front of their TVs.
Arsenal fans stared wide-eyed at the Barcelona players on the screen, hoping to see arrogance and complacency on their faces.
Of course, they found nothing.
Every Barcelona player who appeared looked extremely focused, each gaze piercing, each expression composed.
They gave off the feeling of rulers of the world.
[Don't get your hopes up too high. Arsenal have improved; they were just unlucky to draw an unstoppable Barcelona.]
[Getting knocked out of the Champions League is okay — they can concentrate on the league. I'm curious to see Xia Qi's expression when he eventually wins a title.]
[Don't be so pessimistic. Football is round; anything is possible.]
[I want to believe in Xia Qi. At least so far he hasn't let us down.]
Beep!
The match began.
Over fifty thousand Arsenal fans gave their best to create a hellish home atmosphere to help the team.
Tonight, starting on the left wing, Xia Qi played the ball to Balotelli and then took Balotelli's central striker position, sprinting forward.
This swapping of runs surprised Andrés Iniesta. By the time he reacted, Xia Qi had already run beside Xavi.
Balotelli played the ball to Wilshere and made a diagonal run toward the flank — the spot Xia Qi had vacated.
On the touchline Wenger wore a solemn face — this was the "opening kill" he had designed for the team!
Barcelona's strength lay in technique and tactics rather than spirit.
Wenger wanted to workplace-PUA Barcelona — reduce the Barcelona players' confidence and sense of worth, causing them to become anxious.
The opening kill was the first step!
Wilshere didn't immediately play forward; instead he laid the ball back to the defense, and the ball reached Arteta.
Barcelona's players didn't find anything wrong with this; aside from the Madrid giants, most teams they'd faced used such a counter-attacking tactic.
So the front three pressed up like usual.
Arteta thought to himself: learned that — when I become a coach I'll lure them out too.
The ball still wasn't played forward; it continued backward to center-back Per Mertesacker.
Mertesacker, carrying the hopes of the whole village, glanced up at the front.
Balotelli was chatting with Dani Alves on the flank; Xia Qi darted beside Professor Bu (referring to a coach or player nicknamed "Bu").
No hesitation.
Go for it…
He drew his right leg back and smashed the ball.
From just outside his own penalty area the ball flew long toward the left side of the pitch.
Again this surprising move caught Barcelona off guard.
Balotelli used Alves as a shield, facing away from Barcelona's goal.
He cushioned the ball at his feet, nudged it slightly to the left, then turned and, in one motion, played a diagonal pass.
A grounder!
The ball ran in a zigzag across the pitch, slicing through Barcelona's entire back line.
"Beautiful pass!"
"A perfect anti-offside move!"
On the touchline Tito Vilanova was shocked!
It seemed every step of his had been anticipated by Wenger.
Now it was down to player ability!
Marc Bartra saw the ball fly behind him and immediately turned. In his peripheral vision he saw Xia Qi breaking in through the other side.
If he couldn't clear the ball, it would meet Xia Qi at some point inside the penalty area.
That would be a disaster!
Bartra had no time to think — he launched the quickest action: a sliding tackle!
"He missed it!"
"Opportunity!"
With Zhan Jun's exclamation, Xia Qi burst in on a diagonal, drew his bow and shot!
A volley without stopping the ball!
The ball had no spin, heading straight for goal.
As if someone had drawn a ruler in the air!
Between two points Xia Qi takes the shortest route! Ahem! Xia Qi's shot takes the shortest path!
Víctor Valdés leapt, stretching his body in the air, but he was slow!
Barcelona fans behind the goal widened their eyes and went pale as Valdés stretched — in their vision the ball had already crossed the line…
The crisp sound of the net struck the faces of all Barcelona people like a heavy slap.
The psychological fall from pre-match confidence to this moment made them involuntarily question: "Are we really away-game chokers?"
Wenger's workplace PUA had succeeded!
(END CHAPTER)
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