"There must be a mistake. Can I talk to someone else? A different way? Maybe you should file a complaint?"
"Oh, there's no mistake." Sebastian floated closer, and his monocle shone. "This world has its own set of problems, so the Mature Affinity System was made just for it and for you!"
"Right now, Zorathia is in the middle of an apocalyptic crisis. Old prophecies talk about a hero who can get his power from the hearts of wise women and a hero who can bring together the continent's strongest female leaders, mages, and warriors."
Rick's eye twitched. "And I'm that hero?"
"Sadly, yes. I asked for literally anyone else apart from you, so believe me. Even a goblin would have been preferable."
"Wow, thanks for the fucking insult and sarcasm. You're a fucking butler whose name is like every butler ever." Rick had enough.
"You're welcome. Try a better insult next time."
"Anyway. Why specifically older women? You really know your guy, huh?" Rick crossed both his arms.
Sebastian sighed, like he was trying to explain simple math to a young child. "Because mature women are the strongest beings in this world."
"Old elf mothers. Queens of dragons. Demon leaders. High priestesses. They are the ones who can fix Zorathia's magic that is falling apart. And you, as a joke from the universe, are supposed to win their trust and love."
Rick thought he was going to die, and in fact this was worse than death because he can't even talk to a girl other than those AI chat girls. Even though he would like it, he already thinks of many bad scenarios where he would fuck it all up.
He said, "I can't do this. I'm a twenty-four-year-old shut-in who died watching videos... that kind of videos..."
"I don't know how to talk to girls. Not even powerful, experienced ones who could probably kill me with a thought if I accidentally say something bad..."
"Finally, some self-awareness." Sebastian nodded in agreement. "Yes, you are very unprepared. But you don't have a choice."
"This is how you can cheat. Use it or die again."
"Wait... what the fuck do you mean by die again?"
"Oh, did I forget to say?" Sebastian's smile wasn't friendly. "You're at level one right now."
"In a world full of monsters, thieves, and top predators, if you don't level up, you'll be dead in a week. You might die even sooner if you continue to stand around and ask foolish questions."
A low growling sound echoed through the ruins, as if on cue. Rick's blood ran cold. "What the fuck was that!?"
He turned slowly toward the temple entrance, where he could see several pairs of glowing yellow eyes looking back at him from the shadows. In the dim light, small, hunched figures came out with green skin, sharp teeth, pointed ears, and rough weapons.
They were goblins, and there are at least a dozen of them.
Rick whispered, "Oh, you have to be kidding me... well, at least I'm a man, not a woman, so they won't maul me."
"Ah, the right time." Sebastian floated back, finding a comfortable spot in the air. "Your first fight. Let's see how long you can last."
"What? You're not going to help...?!"
"I'm not a bodyguard. I'm just your system administrator, and I give out quests while keeping track of data."
"It's all your fault if you die again today."
The goblins yelled and ran at them. "UBASHAAAAAA!!!"
"Heh... in this situation I watched many anime, and one of them really gave me real power that should be used in this kind of situation." Rick pointed at all the goblins with a smug smile.
"What's that?" Sebastian looked curious.
Rick did what any smart person would do in his place by using the power he gained from watching that anime, and it is...
"RUN, BITCH! RUUUUUUNNNNN!!!" He yelled and ran as fast as he could.
His legs took him deeper into the ruins, where he tripped over broken stones and other junk. "Fuck! Why didn't it work!?"
The goblins were quick, and their clawed feet scraped against the stone as they chased him. Rick could hear them growling and smell their bad breath.
He starts to stand and turns a corner and instantly wishes he hadn't. It was a dead end without a way out because of a wall that had fallen down.
He turned around. The goblins came closer, weapons in hand. Rick pressed his back against the cold stone, which made him feel even more scared.
"This was it. You came back to life for less than ten minutes and are already going to die again," Sebastian talked in his mind.
"Some hero you turned out to be," Sebastian said from somewhere above, sounding very bored.
"Fuck you, Sebastian!"
The main goblin held up a rusty dagger. And then a sound came through the air.
A throwing knife went into the goblin's head, and its head snapped to the side. It fell apart right away, making the other goblins stop moving, not sure what to do.
Another knife flew by Rick's ear and killed another goblin. Then a third. A figure fell from above and hit the stone floor hard, cracking it and landing between Rick and the goblins.
She was very tall, at least six feet tall, with broad shoulders and arms that were full of muscle. Her torso and legs were covered in silver armor that had been through many battles and was worn out.
She had a big sword hanging from her back, and her long crimson hair looked like it produced light. She had a strong jaw, sharp cheekbones, and orange-colored eyes that made her look beautiful.
She looked like she was in her late thirties or early forties. There were faint scars on her arms and a thin line on her left cheek.
In one smooth motion, she pulled out her sword. "Stay behind me, boy."
There was no room for argument in her deep, commanding voice. The goblins thought about it for a second before attacking.
The woman moved like a storm, and her blade cut through the air with deadly accuracy. She didn't waste any of her movements. Every swing hit its mark, and in a matter of seconds, the ground was covered in goblin bodies.
The last goblin tried to get away. She threw her sword like a javelin and stuck it to a pillar until it stopped moving.
The ruins were quiet again. Rick stood still, his back still against the wall, unable to understand what he had just seen.
"Holy shit... it's real... a-a-a-a milf...!" Rick said it in his mind while his 'sword' started to extend.
The woman walked over to get her sword and pulled it free with one hand. Before putting the sword in its sheath on her back, she wiped the blade clean with a piece of cloth.
After that, she turned to look at him. "Are you okay, boy?" she asked, her face softening a little.
Rick could only nod like a dumb person while both his eyes were studying her body, where it was a ten out of ten that he wanted to get squashed by her muscles. "Gyat...!"
She looked him over, her eyes judging. "What are you doing out here by yourself? These ruins are not safe for someone like you..."
"Well—" Before Rick could stammer out an answer, Sebastian appeared with a cheerful ding.
"Oh, how wonderful," the little butler said, his voice full of fake excitement. "Now scanning target."
Rick could only see a glowing screen in front of his face. There was elegant script scrolling across it.
[TARGET ANALYSIS COMPLETE]
[Name: Carmilla Crimsonford]
[Age: 38]
[Class: Veteran Knight]
[Affection Level: 0 out of 10]
[Status: IDEAL]
[FOUND A MATURE WOMAN]
[Compatibility: GREAT]
[QUEST UNLOCKED]
[First Impressions]
[Goal: Talk to Carmilla without making a fool of yourself.]
[Reward: +50 EXP and Basic Combat Awareness (Passive)]
[Failure Penalty: The system will make fun of you all the time.]
Rick's soul felt like it was falling apart. Carmilla was now looking at him with worry, probably because he was staring at nothing with a look of pure terror.
Sebastian floated next to Rick's ear and whispered in a mocking way. "Your first dream is standing in front of you. Go ahead, and speak to the kind woman."
"Don't act like a complete idiot or ask her right away to have—"
"Shut up!" Rick answered in his mind, where Sebastian could hear it.
Rick opened his mouth, and things were about to go wrong.