I always thought the way I would die would be something poetic.
Maybe a quiet passing in my sleep at eighty-nine, surrounded by grandchildren.Maybe something heroic, like saving a bus full of orphans.Maybe even something stupid but memorable — like choking on popcorn while binge-reading Doctor Strange comics.
But no.
I died because Truck-kun apparently decided I looked like a perfect protagonist candidate.
One second, I was crossing the street, mumbling about deadlines at my boring office job…The next, BAM, everything went black, and I was floating in a void that felt like a cosmic screensaver set to "depressing."
I blinked — or at least I felt like I blinked, hard to tell without a body — and suddenly there was something in front of me.A glowing being. A God. A radiant, shimmering, universe-eating, all-powerful entity who looked like they got bored and turned into a celestial lava lamp for fun.
"Well," I said, in the void. "That happened."
The God chuckled, like someone who had seen a billion mortals react far less gracefully."You have been chosen," it said, its voice echoing like a choir singing into a black hole,"to be reborn in a fusion between the Marvel and DC Multiverse, based on movies, comics, and mixed media. You will spin five wheels. These will grant you the powers and memories of seven characters, three divine artifacts, and a pair of magical eyes."
I stared at the glittering, floating wheels that popped into existence like cosmic gambling machines.
"Seriously?" I folded my… imaginary arms. "My fate is being decided by a spinning wheel?"
"Do you have any idea," the God said irritably, "how hard it is to come up with an entertaining reincarnation system? Try doing it for a few trillion souls and then complain."
"Oh excuse me for questioning the divine wisdom of Wheel-kun."
The God coughed. "Just spin the stupid wheel."
Wheel 1 — Body
I sighed and gave the wheel a shove.
It clicked and clacked, glowing names flashing past — Carol Danvers, Natasha Romanoff, Gamora, Zatanna—
And then it stopped.
Wanda Maximoff.
I exploded.
"WHAT— I'M THE FREAKING SCARLET WITCH?!"
A surge of power slammed into me — raw, ancient, chaotic, infinite.Knowledge poured into my skull like someone dumping a library into a teacup.I felt Chaos Magic, Darkhold-corrupted spells, dimensional manipulation, hexcraft — all of it — slot into my mind like puzzle pieces.
I was Wanda.All of Wanda.Memories, instincts, power, emotions — everything up to the full, terrifying potential she had always carried.
Great. No pressure.
Wheel 2 — Orochimaru
"Okay," I muttered. "Next wheel. Please be less traumatizing."
I spun.
Names flashed. It clicked. It slowed.
Orochimaru.
"Oh for f—really?"
My soul twisted as another avalanche of knowledge hit me.
Forbidden jutsu.Reanimation.Soul-based immortality.Snake Sage Mode.Scientific brilliance that made every mad scientist in comics look like amateurs.
But instead of chakra, everything converted into magic.Magic that felt bottomless. Serpentine. Ancient.
I also inherited Orochimaru's childhood memories.
Yay?
Wheel 3 — Itachi Uchiha
I was already mentally exhausted, but I spun again.
And it stopped on Itachi.
A cold calm sank into me.His discipline, his clarity, his devastating intelligence and battle instincts — I felt them like phantom limbs.
The Mangekyō Sharingan opened in my mind, along with the terrible weight of what Itachi had lived through.Tsukuyomi.Amaterasu.Susanoo.The Yata Mirror.The Sword of Totsuka.
All of it merged with my Wanda-Orochimaru self like some unholy magical multiverse smoothie.
"Okay," I whispered. "I am horrifying."
The God nodded sympathetically.
Wheel 4 — Voldemort
"Oh no," I said as the wheel started spinning on its own.
"Oh yes," the God said.
It landed on Voldemort.
I screamed internally as waves of Dark Arts, mind magic, curse mastery, flight, raw destructive power, and the cold detachment of Tom Riddle crashed into me.
My mind expanded to unnatural sharpness.Legilimency.Occlumency.Soul fragmentation theory.Dark rituals.Unrestricted killing intent.
I felt his instincts, his brilliance, his savagery — but not his madness.Just his potential.
"I am officially a walking red flag," I muttered.
Wheel 5 — The Ancient One
The final power wheel spun.
When it slowed… my soul trembled.
The Ancient One.
A surge of peace and infinite cosmic understanding flooded me.Eldritch constructs.Astral projection.Time manipulation.Mirror dimension mastery.Dimensional travel.Reality shaping.
Centuries of wisdom layered themselves over every other personality, smoothing their edges — but not dulling their strength.
"I'm… a monster," I whispered.
"You're welcome," the God said cheerfully.
Artifacts
Light swelled again as a new wheel appeared.
Artifact 1 — The Palantír
"I got a Lord of the Rings eyeball rock?" I said.
"An indestructible, omniscient, telepathic mega-crystal," the God corrected.
Okay, impressive.
Artifact 2 — The Encantus
A massive, glowing spellbook whirled into existence.
"YES," I shouted. "I get the sorcerer's apprentice spellbook!"
"Basically a cosmic PhD in magic," the God noted.
Artifact 3 — The Book of Omniverse Dark Magic
When I spun the final artifact wheel, the void itself trembled.
Then it landed.
The God went still.
"Oh no," it whispered.
"Oh no WHAT?" I asked.
"You… got the Book of Omniverse Dark Magic."
The knowledge slammed into me like a tidal wave of pure primordial darkness.A book older than universes.A book that made the Darkhold weep in shame.A book written by beings who predated the concept of time.
My soul shook.My essence warped.But I held it.
Barely.
"Congratulations," the God said weakly. "You're now the single most terrifying magical being I've ever reincarnated."
I grinned.
"Perfect."
The void cracked.
Light swallowed me whole.
And I fell — reborn — into a universe where Marvel and DC collided…
…and where I, a sassy book-nerd writer with god-tier powers, was about to cause the greatest multiversal chaos ever seen.