The river was never meant to be dangerous.
At least, that's what the adults always said. It was shallow in most parts, its water clear and slow, curling around smooth stones like a lazy ribbon. Children played near it often, sometimes even practicing water-based abilities there where teachers could supervise.
But no one supervised us that day.
It was early afternoon when Lian tugged at my sleeve, his eyes bright with excitement.
"Asher, let's go to the river!" he said, bouncing slightly on his toes. "I want to practice shaping the light ball near the water. I heard reflections help."
I hesitated. Not because I didn't want to go with him, but because I knew our parents were busy entertaining another instructor. They were preparing Lian for some advanced ability test. They wouldn't notice if we left.
"As long as we don't go too far," I said.
Lian grinned. "I won't! I promise."
We grabbed our coats and slipped out quietly, walking along the dirt path until the trees swallowed us. The air grew cooler, the shade of the forest comforting in its silence. The river's distant rush soothed something inside me.
Lian ran ahead, laughing.
"Slow down," I called. "You'll trip."
"No, I won't!" he shouted back.
He did.
He stumbled over a root, yelped, and caught himself just before falling. He laughed like it was nothing.
I shook my head, but a smile tugged at my lips. "You're hopeless sometimes."
"You're here to catch me if I fall," he said proudly. "You're the best big brother."
The words hit me harder than they should have.
Because most days, I didn't feel like one. I felt like a shadow trailing behind him, useless and unseen. But when he said things like that, a warmth spread in my chest that made everything else tolerable.
When we reached the river, the light shimmered beautifully on the surface. Lian immediately knelt by the edge and held out his hands.
"Watch this!"
His palms glowed, forming a sphere of golden light like before. It hovered above his hand, then he tried to shape it into something. The ball wobbled, flickered, then split into two uneven orbs.
He gasped. "Asher! Did you see? I made two!"
"That's really impressive," I said truthfully.
He smiled so wide it almost hurt to look at.
I sat on a nearby rock while he practiced. The forest sang quietly around us, birds calling from the branches overhead. The river lapped gently at the shore.
It should have been peaceful.
It was, for a while.
"Asher," Lian said suddenly, breaking my thoughts. "Do you think Mom and Dad are proud of me?"
I blinked. "Of course they are."
He lowered his hands, the light flickering away. He looked up at me with eyes far too thoughtful for his age.
"What about you? Do you think they're proud of you too?"
The question felt like someone pressed a cold hand into my chest.
I forced a smile. "I'm fine, Lian. Don't worry about me."
"I'm not worried." He stepped closer. "I just… hope they notice you someday."
The honesty in his voice burned.
"Maybe," I said quietly.
He sat beside me for a moment, our shoulders touching. His warmth made the cold breeze feel less sharp.
"Someday we'll both be strong," he said. "And then they'll treat you the same way they treat me."
I knew he meant well. I knew he believed it.
But the words twisted inside me.
Because deep down, I wished things were different.
I wished I had something that made them look at me the way they looked at him.
I wished I mattered as much.
I wished I wasn't always second.
The thoughts were like tiny needles, sharp and unwelcome. I pushed them aside.
"Come on," I said softly. "Let's head back soon."
"Just a little more practice," he insisted, hopping to his feet.
He stepped closer to the water, leaning over to see his reflection. His foot slid on a wet rock.
It happened in a heartbeat.
Lian's scream tore through the forest as he slipped.
I lunged forward. "Lian!"
He fell into the river, not the shallow part but a deeper section carved out by time and currents stronger than they looked.
Cold water splashed upward as he flailed.
"Asher!" he cried, panic rising in his voice.
I jumped in after him.
The shock of the cold water stole my breath. The current yanked at my legs, pulling me downriver. I reached for Lian, struggling against the pull.
"I'm here!" I gasped.
My fingers brushed his wrist.
I grabbed him.
He clung to me desperately, coughing and crying. The river churned around us, dragging us toward rocks. I kicked hard, pulling him closer, fighting the current with everything I had.
His fingers slipped for a split second.
"I've got you!" I shouted, reaching again.
Our hands met.
For a moment it felt like relief.
But the river crashed us against a boulder. Lian's fingers slipped again, and this time my grip wasn't strong enough.
He was torn from my grasp.
"ASHER!" he screamed.
I lunged after him, kicking and clawing through the water, but the current spun him away.
His head hit a rock.
The sound was sharp and final.
His body went limp.
"Lian!" My voice cracked as I fought the water, dragging myself toward him. "Lian, please!"
I caught him moments later and pulled him toward the bank with all the strength I had left.
My arms burned.
My lungs screamed.
My legs trembled violently.
But I dragged him out, collapsing on the muddy shore with his small body in my arms.
"Lian…? Lian… wake up…" My voice shook.
He didn't move.
His eyes were half-open, lifeless. Water dripped from his hair. His skin was cold.
"No… no, no, please…" I shook him gently, then harder. "Lian, please… please… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"
I pressed my ear to his chest.
No heartbeat.
The world blurred around me as tears spilled uncontrollably.
"This is my fault… this is my fault…"
Something cracked inside me.
Something so deep it felt like my bones were breaking.
The forest seemed to watch silently as everything inside me collapsed.
I held him and sobbed until my throat felt raw.
Eventually, I forced myself to lift him. His small arms hung lifelessly as I carried him through the trees, each step stabbing into my feet.
By the time I neared town, my legs were shaking so badly I almost fell.
A villager saw us and screamed for help.
Within minutes, the news spread.
People gathered.
Voices rose.
Faces blurred into shapes.
But I saw my parents clearly.
Selene fell to her knees, letting out a sound I had never heard from her. Darius grabbed Lian from my arms, shaking him, shouting his name, begging him to wake up.
But he didn't.
And then their eyes turned to me.
"What happened?" my father demanded, voice breaking.
"I… I tried…" My voice trembled. "He slipped… I tried to save him…"
"You tried?" my mother repeated, tears streaming down her face. She looked at me like I was something monstrous. "You tried? Why didn't you succeed? Why weren't you strong enough?"
"I… I did everything I could…"
"You're useless," she spat, voice trembling with grief. "If only you had an ability… if only you weren't like this… Lian would still be alive!"
Her words stabbed deep, each one slicing into me.
My father shook his head, disbelief turning into rage. "You killed him. You let your brother die."
"No… I didn't… I swear…"
Their pain twisted into something sharper. Something aimed at me.
The crowd whispered. I heard the words like poison.
"He's the powerless one."
"It must be his fault."
"If he had any ability…"
"Why didn't he save him?"
Guilt crushed my chest until I couldn't breathe.
I fell to my knees.
"I'm sorry…" I whispered. "I'm so sorry…"
But my parents turned away from me, choosing to hold each other instead.
Not me.
Never me.
As they carried Lian's body away, I stayed on the ground, drenched, shaking, broken.
I felt something inside me crack.
Something shift.
Something open.
The world suddenly felt colder.
Quieter.
Darker.
Like something had started watching me from inside my own mind.
But not yet. Not fully.
Grief drowned everything else.
I curled in on myself, hands shaking uncontrollably.
The only light in my life was gone.
And I had been too weak to save him.