Hayat woke up with the very specific feeling that his life was both fine and falling apart at the same time—like a chair with three stable legs and one leg tied back on with a shoelace. Technically functional, spiritually dangerous.
He brushed his teeth while thinking, I'm a normal guy living a normal life. Why does it feel like a cosmic joke?The mirror didn't answer, because mirrors never do. They're polite that way.
During breakfast—two leftover rotis and tea that tasted suspiciously like boiled disappointment—Hayat's brain began its daily "Morning Existential Stretching," a routine it never missed even when Hayat himself skipped meals.
**The Round One:
"What Am I Doing With My Youth?"**
He scrolled through Instagram reels of people his age traveling, lifting weights, falling in love, building startups, rescuing kittens, and somehow looking good while doing all of it.
He stared at his own reflection in the black phone screen.
"Bro, I look like someone whose superpower is standing in queues," he muttered.
Suddenly, a familiar wave hit—What if I'm wasting my youth? What if this is it? What if I blink and I'm 40 and still average?
He tried to calm himself:"Relax… I'm only… wait, how old am I? Why does it feel like I'm both 12 and 50 at the same time?"
He stood up. Sat down. Stood up again. Classic Hayat cycle.
**Second Round:
"What If I Never Improve?"**
On the bus, he stared out the window as if the trees held answers.
I keep saying I'll change—exercise, study, be disciplined—but why am I the same person every month? Why do I keep repeating cycles like a character in a budget time-loop movie?
He looked at his hand.
Same hand.Same fingers.Same habits.Same mistakes.
What if this is me forever?
A baby on the bus laughed at nothing. Hayat envied that. Imagine being able to find joy in literally oxygen.
**Third Round:
FOMO: The Silent Assassin**
Everyone around him was talking about weekend plans.
Trips.Movies.Shopping.A cousin's engagement.A friend's birthday.
Hayat's weekend plan:
Clean room
Think about cleaning room
Sleep
Overthink
Question existence
Eat biscuits
The fear crept in again—
What if life is happening everywhere except where I am? What if I'm just a background extra in other people's stories?
He opened Instagram again. Bad move.Everyone was smiling.Everyone was glowing.Everyone was doing something.
Hayat was breathing.Sometimes he felt even that was an achievement.
**Round Four:
Love, Purpose, Memory, Mortality — The Deluxe Combo Meal**
During lunch at work, he got caught in the spiral.
Love:Maybe I'm single because I'm not meant to be loved? Or because I don't love myself enough? Or maybe because I look like a tired philosopher who has seen too much?
Purpose:What exactly am I contributing to the universe? If I vanished tomorrow would the world even glitch for a second? Would a butterfly flap its wings in disappointment?
Memory:Do my memories matter? Or will they all fade when I fade? Is that why nostalgia hurts—because it's proof I'm temporary?
Mortality:And then, the classic:Why am I alive? Who decided this? What's the point of doing anything when everyone I love will one day die? Including me? What's the point of learning, building, loving, struggling… when entropy wins in the end?
He bit into his roti.It tasted like roti.The universe did not pause.Existence continued.
"Cool," he whispered.
**Final Round:
"Do I Even Deserve Happiness?"**
This one always hit late in the day.
Walking home, streetlights flickering like depressed fireflies, Hayat wondered:
Why do I want happiness when I can barely handle life? Do I deserve good things? Or am I just waiting for luck to save me again?
He felt guilty for wanting more.Guilty for being average.Guilty for existing sometimes.Guilty for not being extraordinary.
The wind blew.It didn't care.
He looked up at the sky—vast, uncaring, beautiful.
"Okay," he told the universe. "I'll keep going. I don't know why, but I'll keep going."
It didn't reply.But the silence felt gentle today.
Maybe that was enough.