The Pewter City Gym was exactly as Marcus remembered it from the games.
Dark. Rocky. Dramatically lit. The kind of place where a serious, stoic Gym Leader could brood about stones and train his Rock-type Pokemon in peace.
Brock stood on his platform at the far end, arms crossed, eyes (presumably) closed, radiating the energy of someone who had given this speech approximately ten thousand times.
"Welcome, challenger, to the Pewter City Gym. I am Brock, and I—"
He stopped.
He had just noticed Marcus's team filing in behind him.
"Is... is that a Mewtwo?"
"Yes," Steve confirmed.
"And a Tyranitar?"
Rocky nodded, accidentally cracking the floor.
"And a... is that a DRAGONITE?"
Floaty waved cheerfully.
Brock's stoic expression flickered. "I was told a new trainer was coming. A BEGINNER."
"I am a beginner!" Marcus said brightly. "This is my first Gym battle!"
"You have a MEWTWO."
"He's very supportive."
"I am prepared to annihilate your Pokemon if they harm Marcus in any way," Steve added helpfully.
"He's kidding!" Marcus said quickly. "Mostly. Anyway, I'm here to challenge you for the Boulder Badge!"
Brock stared at him for a long, long moment.
Then he looked at the Tyranitar.
Then at the Charizard.
Then at the Blastoise, whose mere presence constituted a hard counter to everything Brock had ever trained.
"This seems... unbalanced," Brock said carefully.
"Oh, don't worry! I'm not going to use any of them."
Brock blinked. Or at least, his eyebrows moved in a way that suggested blinking. "You're not?"
"Nope!" Marcus reached down and picked up Kenneth the Shuckle, holding him forward like a slightly confused trophy. "I'm using Kenneth."
Silence filled the Gym.
Absolute, complete silence.
Somewhere in the distance, a Geodude coughed.
"You're using," Brock said slowly, "a Shuckle."
"Yep!"
"Against my Rock-type Gym."
"That's the plan!"
"A Shuckle, whose offensive capabilities are famously the worst of any Pokemon in existence."
"Kenneth takes offense to that."
Kenneth did not visibly take offense to anything. Kenneth was a Shuckle. Kenneth's face had one expression, and that expression was "mild confusion about existence itself."
Brock looked at Steve the Mewtwo. "Is he serious?"
"Unfortunately, yes. I have raised objections. They were overruled."
"Look," Marcus said, setting Kenneth down on the battlefield, "I know this seems crazy. But Kenneth and I have a strategy. Right, buddy?"
Kenneth made a small noise.
"That's the spirit!"
Brock, to his credit, decided to take this seriously.
"Very well," he said, assuming his battle stance. "If you wish to challenge my Gym with a Shuckle, I will respect your decision. But know that I will not hold back!"
"Wouldn't have it any other way!"
"Geodude, go!"
Brock's first Pokemon materialized on the field—a solid, no-nonsense Geodude with fists raised and ready for battle.
Marcus grinned.
"Kenneth. Use Power Trick."
Now, for those unfamiliar with competitive Pokemon, Power Trick is a move that seems useless at first glance.
It swaps the user's Attack stat with their Defense stat.
For most Pokemon, this is pointless or actively detrimental.
For Shuckle?
Shuckle has the lowest Attack stat in the entire game. A pathetic base 10.
But Shuckle ALSO has the highest Defense stat in the entire game. A monstrous base 230.
Power Trick swaps them.
Which means that Kenneth the Shuckle, a creature that had previously been unable to damage a wet paper bag, now had an Attack stat of TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY.
The highest attack stat possible.
Higher than Mewtwo.
Higher than Rayquaza.
Higher than ARCEUS.
Kenneth the Shuckle was now, technically, the strongest physical attacker IN EXISTENCE.
The air in the Gym changed.
Brock felt it before he understood it. A pressure. A weight. The sense that something fundamental had shifted.
He looked at Kenneth.
Kenneth looked back.
And for the first time in his life, Brock felt genuine fear while looking at a Shuckle.
"What... what did you just do?" Brock whispered.
"I unlocked Kenneth's true potential," Marcus said serenely. "Kenneth, use Rock Slide."
Kenneth moved.
"Moved" was perhaps generous. Kenneth OOZED forward with the speed of a particularly motivated glacier. The attack took approximately thirty seconds to actually execute, during which time everyone in the Gym simply watched in horrified fascination.
Then the rocks fell.
They fell with a force that should not have been possible. The ground CRACKED. The walls SHOOK. Brock's Geodude—a Rock-type, RESISTANT to Rock-type moves—was launched across the Gym so hard it embedded itself in the far wall.
One hit.
One KO.
From a SHUCKLE.
"GEODUDE!" Brock screamed.
The Geodude was unconscious. Deeply, profoundly unconscious. The kind of unconscious that suggested it would be taking a long vacation after this.
Marcus pumped his fist. "Great job, Kenneth!"
Kenneth made a small noise that might have been satisfaction.
It might also have been gas.
With Kenneth, you could never really tell.
Brock stared at his fallen Geodude.
Then he stared at Kenneth.
Then he stared at his fallen Geodude again.
"That's... that's impossible," he breathed. "Shuckle can't... the damage calculation doesn't..."
"Power Trick," Steve supplied helpfully from the sidelines. "Combined with Shuckle's naturally extreme defensive stats. It's technically legal, if unconventional."
"TECHNICALLY LEGAL?!"
"Kenny's been practicing," Marcus said proudly. "He's very motivated."
Kenneth oozed slightly, which might have been a flex.
Brock's hands were shaking as he recalled his Geodude. "Fine. FINE. So you have one trick. But my Onix won't fall so easily!"
He threw his Pokeball with more force than strictly necessary.
The massive rock snake materialized, towering over the battlefield, roaring with ancient, primal fury.
It looked at Kenneth.
Kenneth looked at it.
The Onix, through millions of years of evolutionary instinct, suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to be literally anywhere else.
"ONIX! USE BIND!"
The Onix hesitated.
"ONIX!"
Slowly, reluctantly, the massive Pokemon lunged forward, wrapping its coils around Kenneth.
The bind connected.
Kenneth took approximately 0.3% damage, because he was still a Shuckle and Shuckle's Special Defense was ALSO absurdly high.
"Good effort," Marcus said. "Kenneth, use Gyro Ball."
Gyro Ball's damage is calculated based on speed difference.
The slower the user compared to the target, the more damage it does.
Kenneth the Shuckle had a Speed stat of 5.
FIVE.
There were rocks that moved faster than Kenneth.
There were CONCEPTS that moved faster than Kenneth.
The speed difference between Kenneth and basically any other Pokemon was so vast that Gyro Ball's damage calculation essentially broke.
The Onix had approximately half a second to regret every decision that had led to this moment.
Then Kenneth SPUN.
Again, "spun" was generous. It was more of a slow, inexorable rotation. A grinding, inevitable orbit that suggested the heat death of the universe would arrive before Kenneth finished moving.
But when the attack connected—
The Onix FLEW.
Not metaphorically. LITERALLY flew. A fourteen-foot rock snake was launched into the ceiling with enough force to create a crater. Debris rained down. The entire Gym structure groaned ominously.
The Onix fell back to earth, creating a second crater.
It did not get up.
"WHAT?!" Brock screamed.
"Gyro Ball," Marcus explained. "Speed differential calculation. Kenneth's so slow that the move becomes ridiculously powerful."
Kenneth oozed in what might have been a victory pose.
"I tried to warn you," Steve commented to Brock. "Marcus has... unconventional strategies."
Brock fell to his knees.
"A Shuckle," he whispered. "I lost to a SHUCKLE."
"Kenneth's very talented!"
"It didn't even MOVE. It just SAT there and DESTROYED my Pokemon."
"That's Kenneth's specialty. He's a defensive wall who can also hit like a truck."
"THAT'S NOT HOW POKEMON ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK!"
Marcus shrugged. "Kenneth doesn't follow conventional rules."
Kenneth made another small noise.
Somewhere in the stands (because a crowd had gathered, drawn by the commotion), a child began crying.
Brock knelt on the battlefield for a full minute, staring at nothing.
His Gym. His LEGACY. Defeated by a Shuckle.
Not a powerful Shuckle. Not a special Shuckle. Just... a Shuckle. A regular Shuckle that had been taught two moves and applied them with devastating efficiency.
"How," he finally managed. "How did you even think of this?"
Marcus scratched the back of his head. "Honestly? I spent a lot of time in my prev—uh, in my research thinking about underutilized Pokemon strategies. Kenneth's always been one of my favorites."
"Your FAVORITE? It's a SHUCKLE!"
"Kenneth has a great personality."
"WHAT PERSONALITY?! IT DOESN'T HAVE EXPRESSIONS!"
Kenneth made another small noise.
"See? He's offended."
Brock looked at Kenneth.
Kenneth looked at Brock.
For reasons he couldn't quite articulate, Brock felt a chill run down his spine.
"I'm going to have nightmares about this," he said quietly.
"That seems excessive."
"You don't understand. I'm a ROCK-TYPE specialist. We're supposed to be the STRONG ones. The STURDY ones. We take hits and dish them out. And this... this SHUCKLE just dismantled everything I've ever believed in!"
Marcus felt a little bad about that.
"If it helps, Onix put up a good fight?"
"IT LITERALLY FLEW INTO THE CEILING!"
"...In a very dignified way?"
Brock's eyebrow twitched.
After a few more minutes of existential crisis, Brock pulled himself together enough to fulfill his Gym Leader duties.
"You've... you've earned this," he said, holding out the Boulder Badge with trembling hands. "The Boulder Badge. Proof that you've defeated the Pewter City Gym."
Marcus accepted it with a grin. "Thanks, Brock! This means a lot!"
"Please leave."
"What?"
"Please. Leave my Gym." Brock's voice was barely above a whisper. "I need to... I need to lie down. And possibly reconsider my entire career."
"Are you okay?"
"I will never be okay again. That Shuckle has broken something inside me." Brock looked at Kenneth with haunted eyes. "Every time I close my eyes, I will see it. Sitting there. WAITING. Just... EXISTING with malevolent intent."
"Kenneth doesn't have malevolent intent!"
"LOOK AT IT!"
Everyone looked at Kenneth.
Kenneth sat there, face blank, eyes empty, radiating the energy of a creature that had transcended the need for thoughts.
"...Okay, I can see how that might be unsettling," Marcus admitted.
"IT'S LIKE STARING INTO THE VOID!"
"The void does stare back," Steve contributed philosophically.
"NOT HELPING!" Brock shrieked.
Marcus and his team exited the Gym, Boulder Badge secured, leaving behind a traumatized Gym Leader and a very confused crowd.
"That went well!" Marcus said cheerfully.
"You have psychologically damaged a man with a Shuckle," Steve observed. "I am genuinely impressed."
"Kenneth did all the work. Right, buddy?"
Kenneth made his small noise.
Behind them, Sunny the Charizard was looking at Kenneth with newfound respect. The dragon had thought HE was the powerhouse of the team. But this Shuckle... this Shuckle was something else entirely.
Rocky the Tyranitar gave Kenneth an approving nod.
Floaty the Dragonite scooped Kenneth up and placed him on his head like a crown.
Kenneth accepted this with his usual complete lack of reaction.
"One badge down," Marcus announced. "Seven to go. And then the Pokemon League!"
"At this rate," Steve noted, "you may not need any of us. Kenneth alone could probably defeat the Elite Four."
"Nah, everyone's going to get their chance to shine. Kenneth just got to go first because nobody ever lets Shuckle have fun."
Kenneth vibrated slightly.
It might have been happiness.
It might have been the Gyro Ball move still cooling down.
Either way, Marcus chose to interpret it as happiness.
NEWS REPORT - PEWTER CITY BROADCAST
"In what local authorities are calling 'the most confusing Gym battle in recorded history,' a young trainer from Pallet Town defeated Gym Leader Brock using only a Shuckle."
"Witnesses report that the Shuckle, named 'Kenneth,' displayed power levels that 'shouldn't be possible' and 'made me question reality.'"
"Brock has reportedly cancelled all Gym challenges for the next week, citing 'personal reasons' and 'an urgent need to reevaluate everything.'"
"When reached for comment, Brock stated only: 'The Shuckle. It just sat there. WHY did it just sit there?'"
"Pokemon researchers are now investigating whether Shuckle as a species have been dramatically underestimated, or if this particular specimen is simply 'built different.'"
"More on this story as it develops."
POKEMON FAN FORUMS - KANTO REGION
Thread: DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THE PEWTER GYM BATTLE?!
RockFan2Pokemon: guys i was there. i watched a shuckle one-shot an onix. i think i need therapy.
DragonMaster99: fake. shuckle can't do damage. everyone knows this.
RockFan2Pokemon: I WATCHED IT HAPPEN
PikachuLover: wait is this the same kid with the army of legendaries?
RockFan2Pokemon: YES. HE HAD A MEWTWO JUST WATCHING FROM THE SIDELINES. HE DIDNT EVEN USE IT.
DragonMaster99: okay now i KNOW you're lying
GymLeaderBrock_Official: He's not lying. I was there. I lost. To a Shuckle. Its name is Kenneth. It haunts my dreams now.
DragonMaster99: wait is this actually brock
GymLeaderBrock_Official: I used to be Brock. Now I'm just a man who fears Shuckle.
PikachuLover: ...are you okay?
GymLeaderBrock_Official: No.
GIOVANNI'S OFFICE - EMERGENCY UPDATE
"Sir, new intelligence from Pewter City."
Giovanni looked up from his evacuation paperwork. "What now?"
"The Chen boy has defeated Brock."
"Expected. The boy has a Mewtwo. Brock never stood a chance."
"He didn't use the Mewtwo, sir."
Giovanni paused. "...What did he use?"
"A Shuckle."
"I'm sorry?"
"A Shuckle, sir. One Shuckle. Against Brock's entire team."
Giovanni's eye twitched. "And he... won?"
"Decisively. The Shuckle one-shot both of Brock's Pokemon. Reports indicate that the Onix was launched approximately forty feet into the air."
"By a SHUCKLE."
"Yes, sir."
Giovanni put his head in his hands.
"I was right to evacuate," he muttered. "This child doesn't just have power. He has CREATIVITY. He's DANGEROUS."
"Sir, it's just a Shuckle—"
"A Shuckle that DESTROYED a Rock-type Gym. A Shuckle that made a GROWN MAN cry." Giovanni looked up with haunted eyes. "We're not just dealing with overwhelming force. We're dealing with someone who can make the WEAK strong. Someone who can find victory in the most unlikely places."
He stood abruptly.
"Double the evacuation speed. And put out a notice to all agents: if you see a Shuckle, RUN."
"Sir, that seems—"
"RUN. Is that understood?"
"...Yes, sir."
PALLET TOWN - POKEMON PARADISE (working name)
The Pokemon who had stayed behind gathered around the psychic viewing network to watch Marcus's first Gym battle.
When Kenneth executed the Power Trick/Gyro Ball combo, the crowd ERUPTED.
The other Shuckle (Marcus had seventeen of them from various games) began vibrating with species pride.
The Magikarp union took notes, wondering if they could develop similar strategies.
The legendaries watched with mild interest, acknowledging Kenneth as a worthy warrior.
And one of the Arceus—the original one who had started all this—stared at the screen with an expression that suggested he had deeply underestimated this situation.
"He made a Shuckle terrifying," Arceus muttered. "A SHUCKLE. The most useless Pokemon in existence."
A nearby Mew giggled.
"This isn't funny. I sent him here as a PUNISHMENT. He's supposed to be STRUGGLING, not THRIVING."
The Mew giggled harder.
"He turned a Shuckle into an instrument of psychological warfare!"
The viewing continued.
Marcus, on screen, was happily accepting his first badge while Brock wept softly in the background.
Arceus watched his chosen agent of chaos succeed beyond all reasonable expectations and felt something he hadn't felt in millennia.
Concern.
THAT EVENING - PEWTER CITY POKEMON CENTER
Marcus sat in the Pokemon Center's lounge, Kenneth on his lap, reviewing his victory with his team.
"Okay, that went even better than I expected," he admitted. "Kenneth, you were AMAZING."
Kenneth made his noise.
"The Power Trick strategy is basically our secret weapon now. Nobody expects a Shuckle to hit hard."
"To be fair," Steve interjected, "nobody expects a Shuckle to do ANYTHING. The species is widely regarded as decorative at best."
"That's why it works! It's the element of surprise!"
"The element of trauma, more accurately. Brock appeared to be having a breakdown."
"He'll recover. Probably." Marcus paused. "Maybe I should send him a fruit basket?"
"That would not undo the psychological damage inflicted by watching his Onix achieve low orbit."
"Right, right."
Marcus looked down at Kenneth, who was sitting in his lap with the peaceful energy of a creature that had just fundamentally altered a man's worldview.
"You know, Kenneth, when I caught you all those years ago, I never imagined we'd end up here."
Kenneth was silent.
"You were just a random Shuckle in some cave. I caught you because I wanted to complete the Pokedex. Didn't even train you, really. Just... had you."
Kenneth remained silent, because Kenneth was a Shuckle.
"But now you're here. You're real. And you just won our first Gym battle." Marcus smiled. "Thanks, buddy. For being you."
Kenneth made a slightly different noise than usual.
Marcus chose to interpret it as "you're welcome."
Later that night, as Marcus slept (surrounded by his usual pile of affectionate Pokemon), a notification appeared on the Pokemon League network.
NEW TRAINER ALERT
NAME: Marcus Chen
HOMETOWN: Pallet Town
BADGES: 1 (Boulder Badge)
NOTABLE POKEMON: Shuckle (Kenneth)
THREAT ASSESSMENT: Under review
NOTES: Trainer displays unconventional battle strategies. Defeated Brock's Gym using only a Shuckle with Power Trick/Gyro Ball combination. Brock has requested counseling. Recommend observation.
ADDITIONAL NOTES: Trainer also possesses 4,847 Pokemon including 40+ Legendaries. Shuckle victory may be least concerning aspect of overall situation.
RECOMMENDATION: Avoid provoking.
CURRENT STATUS:
Badges: 1 (Boulder Badge)
Kenneth's Kill Count: 2 (Geodude, Onix)
Brock's Mental State: Shattered
Team Rocket Status: Evacuating faster
Arceus's Regret Level: Rising
Kenneth Stats (Post Power Trick):
Attack: 230 (MAXIMUM)Defense: 10 (paper thin, but who cares)Speed: 5 (irrelevant—Gyro Ball go BRRR)Intimidation Factor: INFINITE
[A/N: KENNETH SUPREMACY! Next chapter: Cerulean City and the battle against Misty! Will Marcus use Kenneth again? Will he unleash Splash the Magikarp? Will Misty survive the encounter? And what happens when Team Rocket's remnants make the WORST possible decision? Stay tuned! Leave a comment about your favorite Kenneth moment!]