It started as a friendly discussion.
It escalated into a competition.
It ended in regional trauma.
GOLDENROD CITY POKEMON CENTER - MORNING
"Okay," Marcus said, looking at his team. "We have seven more Gyms in Johto, then the Elite Four and Champion. How do we want to approach this?"
"Pika pika." I call dibs on all of them.
"Vee vee." You JUST had Kanto. It's MY turn.
"I have only defeated one Gym Leader thus far," Leo observed. "I would appreciate more opportunities."
"PIKA!" You got Whitney! That's the HARDEST one!
"Her Miltank was... adequate."
"VEE!" Stop being humble! It's annoying!
"Perhaps," Steve interjected, "there is a solution that satisfies everyone."
Everyone turned to look at the Mewtwo.
"A competition. Each of you takes a portion of the remaining challenges. Whoever completes their section fastest—while taking the least damage—wins."
"Wins WHAT?" Zippy demanded.
"Bragging rights. And Marcus's undivided attention for an entire day."
"Pika." I'm listening.
"Vee." Continue.
"That does sound appealing," Leo admitted.
Marcus raised a hand. "Don't I get a say in this?"
"No," all three Pokemon said simultaneously.
"...Okay then."
THE COMPETITION RULES
Steve, serving as judge, outlined the parameters:
"Seven remaining Gyms. Elite Four. Champion. Total of twelve battles."
"Zippy will take: Bugsy, Morty, Chuck, and Clair."
"Pika." Bug, Ghost, Fighting, Dragon. Diverse. Acceptable.
"Fluffy will take: Jasmine, Pryce, and the Elite Four."
"Vee vee." Steel, Ice, and four Elite Four members. Six battles. More than the others.
"You asked for more opportunities after Kanto. This is your chance."
"Vee." Fair.
"Leo will take: The Champion and any rematches required."
"You're giving me the Champion?" Leo raised an eyebrow.
"You have the most to prove. The Champion will be the ultimate test."
"Acceptable."
"The timer starts now. Whoever completes their battles in the shortest cumulative time with the least percentage of health lost wins."
"What about type matchups?" Marcus asked. "Some of these are really unfavorable—"
"Pika." Type matchups are for WEAK trainers.
"Vee vee." We don't believe in 'unfavorable.'
"Disadvantage is merely an opportunity for growth," Leo added.
Marcus looked at Kenneth.
Kenneth vibrated.
"Leo, what did Kenneth say?"
"Kenneth said this is going to be 'hilarious' and wishes to observe from a premium viewing position."
"Shuckles can't say that many words!"
"You would be surprised at Kenneth's vocabulary."
ZIPPY'S PORTION - BATTLE 1: BUGSY (AZALEA TOWN)
TIME: 9:00 AM
Bugsy, the Bug-type specialist, had heard rumors.
A Partner Pikachu was coming. The same Pikachu that had soloed Kanto's Elite Four.
He had prepared. His Scyther was faster than ever. His strategies were refined. He would NOT go down easily.
The Gym doors opened.
Zippy walked in alone.
"Where's your trainer?" Bugsy asked.
"Pika." Nearby. Watching. But this is MY battle.
"You can TALK?!"
"Pika pika." No. You're just hallucinating from fear. Now fight me.
"That doesn't make sense—"
"ZIPPY ZAP!"
Bugsy's Metapod fainted before he finished his sentence.
Bugsy's Kakuna fainted before he could reach for its Pokeball.
Bugsy's Scyther—his ace, his pride—lasted approximately four seconds.
"SIZZLY SLIDE!"
Fire-type. Super effective against Bug.
Critical hit. Because of course.
Scyther was incinerated.
BATTLE TIME: 47 seconds
DAMAGE TAKEN: 0%
Bugsy sat down on the floor, staring at nothing.
"I trained for years," he whispered.
"Pika." Should've trained more.
FLUFFY'S PORTION - BATTLE 1: JASMINE (OLIVINE CITY)
TIME: 9:15 AM
Jasmine was gentle. Kind. Soft-spoken.
She was also a Steel-type specialist, which meant she should have had an advantage against a Normal-type like Eevee.
Should have.
"Oh my, a Partner Eevee! I've heard about you!" Jasmine smiled. "This should be an interesting—"
"Vee." SIZZLY SLIDE.
Her Magnemite was melted.
"Oh dear—STEELIX!"
The massive Steel serpent emerged, ready for battle.
Fluffy looked up at it.
And up.
And UP.
"Vee." Big. Doesn't matter.
"STEELIX, IRON TAIL!"
"SIZZLY SLIDE!"
Fire beat Steel. The Steelix's Iron Tail connected, dealing moderate damage, but the burn from Sizzly Slide was already eating away at its health.
"BOUNCY BUBBLE!"
Healing. Super effective against Ground-type.
Steelix went down.
"Oh... oh my." Jasmine's eyes were wide. "You're very strong."
"Vee vee." Yes. Badge please.
BATTLE TIME: 1 minute 23 seconds
DAMAGE TAKEN: 15%
ZIPPY'S PORTION - BATTLE 2: MORTY (ECRUTEAK CITY)
TIME: 10:30 AM
Morty had been warned by the Legendary Beasts themselves.
"The small yellow one approaches," Suicune had whispered to him. "It is... formidable."
"I'll be careful," Morty had promised.
He was not careful enough.
"GENGAR, SHADOW BALL!"
"BADDY BAD!"
Dark-type versus Ghost-type.
Both super effective.
Zippy was faster.
Gengar went down.
"HAUNTER!"
"BADDY BAD!"
Haunter went down.
"GASTLY!"
"...Really?"
"BADDY BAD!"
Gastly went down.
"GENGAR NUMBER TWO!"
"BADDY BAD!"
Morty was out of Pokemon.
BATTLE TIME: 52 seconds
DAMAGE TAKEN: 8%
"The spirits were right to fear you," Morty said quietly.
"Pika." The spirits are smart.
LEO'S PREPARATION - MEDITATION
While Zippy and Fluffy were speedrunning Gyms, Leo sat in quiet meditation.
"You're not nervous?" Marcus asked.
"I am facing the Champion. Nervousness is expected." Leo's eyes remained closed. "But I have fought greater threats across multiple timelines. A Johto Champion, however skilled, is within my capabilities."
"Who's the Champion again?"
"Lance."
Marcus blinked. "Wait, Lance? He's the Johto Champion TOO?"
"Indeed. He serves as Champion for both regions in this timeline."
"So you're fighting the guy Zippy and Fluffy ALREADY beat?"
"The same opponent, but fresh. Unweakened. At full power." Leo opened one eye. "It will be a true test."
"You seem confident."
"I have seen the flow of time itself. I have trained with Lucario who will not be born for centuries. I have achieved Mega Evolution without external assistance." Leo's aura flickered. "I am prepared."
Kenneth vibrated.
"What did Kenneth say?"
"Kenneth said I am 'based.'"
"Kenneth knows what 'based' means?!"
"Kenneth knows many things."
FLUFFY'S PORTION - BATTLE 2: PRYCE (MAHOGANY TOWN)
TIME: 2:00 PM
Pryce was old. Wise. Experienced.
He had been a Gym Leader longer than most trainers had been alive.
"An Eevee," he observed, ice crystals forming in the air around him. "A Partner Eevee, if the rumors are true."
"Vee." Rumors are accurate.
"Ice-type against Normal-type. This should be a fair fight."
"Vee vee." Define 'fair.'
Pryce's Seel fell to Buzzy Buzz. Electric super effective against Water.
His Dewgong fell to Buzzy Buzz again. Paralysis applied.
His Piloswine—his ace—actually managed to land a Blizzard.
Fluffy took real damage.
35% health lost.
"Vee." Not bad, old man.
"You're still standing?!"
"Vee vee." SIZZLY SLIDE.
Fire against Ice.
Critical hit.
Piloswine down.
BATTLE TIME: 2 minutes 15 seconds
DAMAGE TAKEN: 35%
Fluffy was losing the damage race. Time to be more aggressive.
ZIPPY'S PORTION - BATTLE 3: CHUCK (CIANWOOD CITY)
TIME: 3:30 PM
Chuck, the Fighting-type master, was PUMPED.
"A PIKACHU!" he bellowed. "FINALLY, a worthy—"
"FLOATY FALL!"
His Primeape was launched into the ceiling before he finished speaking.
"WHAT THE—POLIWRATH!"
"FLOATY FALL!"
The Water/Fighting type was smashed into the floor.
BATTLE TIME: 31 seconds
DAMAGE TAKEN: 0%
"I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO FINISH MY SPEECH!" Chuck wailed.
"Pika." Speeches are for losers.
FLUFFY'S PORTION - BATTLE 3-6: THE ELITE FOUR
TIME: 5:00 PM
Fluffy approached the Johto Elite Four with determination.
Will. Koga. Bruno. Karen.
Four of the strongest trainers in the region.
"Vee vee." Let's make this quick.
WILL (PSYCHIC-TYPE)
"Your Eevee cannot possibly defeat my—"
"BADDY BAD!"
Dark-type. Super effective.
Will's Xatu went down.
His Jynx went down.
His Exeggutor went down.
His Slowbro went down.
His second Xatu went down.
TIME: 1 minute 44 seconds
DAMAGE: 5%
Will stared at his empty Pokeballs.
"That was... that was..."
"Vee." Pathetic. Next.
KOGA (POISON-TYPE)
Koga had been warned by his Gym Leader self from Kanto.
"The Partner Pokemon are MONSTERS," past-Koga had said. "Do NOT underestimate them."
Present-Koga had trained. Had prepared. Had—
"GLITZY GLOW!"
Psychic-type. Super effective against Poison.
His entire team fell in under two minutes.
TIME: 1 minute 58 seconds
DAMAGE: 12%
"Father warned me," Janine whispered from the stands. "He WARNED me about these creatures."
"Vee." Your father is wise.
BRUNO (FIGHTING-TYPE)
Bruno recognized the threat immediately.
"I faced your companion," he said grimly. "The Pikachu. I know what Partner Pokemon can do."
"Vee vee." Then you know you've already lost.
"I will NOT surrender!"
"FLOATY FALL!"
Bruno's Hitmontop was launched into the stratosphere.
"GLITZY GLOW!"
His Hitmonlee was psychically devastated.
"FLOATY FALL!"
His Hitmonchan joined Hitmontop in the upper atmosphere.
"BOUNCY BUBBLE!"
His Onix was flooded and defeated.
"FLOATY FALL!"
His Machamp didn't even try to dodge. It just accepted its fate.
TIME: 2 minutes 12 seconds
DAMAGE: 8%
Bruno sat down heavily.
"I need a new career," he muttered.
"Vee." I recommend therapy.
KAREN (DARK-TYPE)
Karen was the last Elite Four member.
She was also the most dangerous.
"Strong Pokemon. Weak Pokemon. That is only the selfish perception of people." Karen's eyes were calculating. "Truly skilled trainers should try to win with their favorites."
"Vee vee." Pretty speech. Won't save you.
"My Dark-types won't fall to your Dark-type move as easily."
"Vee." Who said I'm using Dark-type?
"SPARKLY SWIRL!"
Fairy-type. Super effective against Dark.
Karen's Umbreon was devastated.
Her Murkrow went down.
Her Vileplume—not even a Dark-type—fell to Sizzly Slide.
Her Gengar fell to Baddy Bad.
Her Houndoom, her ace, faced Fluffy with determination.
"HOUNDOOM, CRUNCH!"
The attack connected. Dark-type. Strong.
Fluffy took 25% damage.
"Vee." Nice. BOUNCY BUBBLE.
Water-type. Super effective against Fire.
Plus healing.
Houndoom went down.
TIME: 3 minutes 5 seconds
DAMAGE: 25% (healed to 10% net)
Karen watched her team fall.
"You truly are extraordinary," she admitted.
"Vee vee." I know.
ELITE FOUR TOTAL:
TIME: 9 minutes 0 seconds
NET DAMAGE: 15%
Fluffy had cleared four Elite Four members in under ten minutes.
ZIPPY'S PORTION - BATTLE 4: CLAIR (BLACKTHORN CITY)
TIME: 6:00 PM
Clair, the Dragon-type master, was the final Gym Leader.
She was also the most arrogant.
"You think you can defeat DRAGONS with a mere Pikachu?!" She laughed. "Dragons are the ULTIMATE Pokemon! Nothing can—"
"FREEZY FROST!"
Her Dragonair was frozen solid.
"WHAT?! THAT'S AN ICE-TYPE MOVE! PIKACHUS CAN'T—"
"FREEZY FROST!"
Her second Dragonair joined the first in frozen status.
"THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!"
"FREEZY FROST!"
Her third Dragonair was becoming an ice sculpture.
"KINGDRA! SAVE ME!"
The Water/Dragon type emerged, ready for battle.
Zippy looked at it.
"Pika pika." You're the only challenge here.
"KINGDRA, HYDRO PUMP!"
The water attack SLAMMED into Zippy.
Super effective? No. But POWERFUL.
Zippy took 30% damage.
"Pika." Not bad. My turn.
"ZIPPY ZAP!"
Critical hit. Always.
Kingdra staggered but survived.
"HYDRO PUMP AGAIN!"
Another hit. Zippy was at 40% health now.
"BUZZY BUZZ!"
Electric-type. Paralysis applied.
Kingdra couldn't move.
"ZIPPY ZAP!"
Critical hit.
Kingdra down.
BATTLE TIME: 4 minutes 33 seconds
DAMAGE TAKEN: 60%
Clair fell to her knees.
"My... my Dragons..."
"Pika." Your Dragons were weak. Badge.
"I WON'T GIVE IT TO YOU!"
"Pika pika." That's what the last person who refused said.
"What happened to them?"
"Pika." They reconsidered.
Clair looked at the frozen Dragonairs. At the unconscious Kingdra. At the smug Pikachu.
She handed over the badge.
ZIPPY'S TOTAL:
Gyms: Bugsy (47s), Morty (52s), Chuck (31s), Clair (4m 33s)
TOTAL TIME: 6 minutes 43 seconds
TOTAL DAMAGE: 68%
FLUFFY'S TOTAL:
Gyms: Jasmine (1m 23s), Pryce (2m 15s)
Elite Four: Will (1m 44s), Koga (1m 58s), Bruno (2m 12s), Karen (3m 5s)
TOTAL TIME: 12 minutes 37 seconds
TOTAL DAMAGE: 15%
THE FINAL BATTLE - LEO VS LANCE
TIME: 7:00 PM
The Champion's chamber awaited.
Leo walked in alone.
Marcus, Zippy, Fluffy, Steve, and Kenneth watched from the stands.
Lance stood at the far end, cape flowing dramatically.
"So. You're the Lucario I've heard about." Lance's voice was measured. "The one from Legends Z-A. The one who can Mega Evolve at will."
"Correct."
"I faced your trainer's other Pokemon. Twice. They defeated me." Lance's expression hardened. "I've been training. Preparing. I will NOT lose again."
"Then this will be a worthy battle."
Lance released his full team.
Three Dragonites.
An Aerodactyl.
A Charizard.
A Gyarados.
Six of the most powerful Pokemon in the region.
Leo regarded them calmly.
"MEGA EVOLUTION."
The transformation was instant. Mega Lucario stood before Lance's team, aura blazing.
"Let us begin."
DRAGONITE #1
"DRAGONITE, OUTRAGE!"
The dragon lunged.
Leo sidestepped with perfect grace.
"AURA SPHERE."
One hit. OHKO.
DRAGONITE #2
"HYPER BEAM!"
The massive attack fired.
Leo walked THROUGH it.
His aura flared, absorbing the energy.
"EXTREME SPEED."
One hit. OHKO.
"YOU CAN'T JUST WALK THROUGH HYPER BEAM!" Lance screamed.
"I trained for centuries. I can do many things."
DRAGONITE #3
"DRAGONITE, FLY HIGH AND—"
"AURA SPHERE."
The attack tracked perfectly, hitting Dragonite mid-flight.
One hit. OHKO.
Lance was starting to sweat.
AERODACTYL
"AERODACTYL, STONE EDGE!"
The Rock-type move connected.
Leo took damage.
Real damage.
20% health lost.
"Vee vee!" He's hurt!
"Pika!" The Rock-type got him!
Leo looked at the wound on his arm.
"...Interesting."
"CLOSE COMBAT!"
Aerodactyl was DESTROYED.
CHARIZARD
"CHARIZARD, FLAMETHROWER!"
Fire connected.
10% more damage.
Leo was at 70% health.
"You CAN be hurt!" Lance's confidence returned. "You're not invincible!"
"I never claimed to be invincible." Leo's eyes glowed. "I simply claimed to be STRONGER."
"METEOR MASH."
Leo's fist glowed with Steel-type energy—a move he shouldn't be able to learn, from a future that didn't exist yet.
Charizard went down.
GYARADOS
The last Pokemon.
Lance's Gyarados was massive. Powerful. Intimidating.
Leo was at 70% health.
"GYARADOS! EVERYTHING WE HAVE! HYPER BEAM!"
The attack was ENORMOUS. The most powerful Hyper Beam Lance had ever commanded.
Leo didn't dodge.
He stood his ground.
He CAUGHT the Hyper Beam in his paws.
"WHAT?!"
The energy swirled around Leo, contained by his aura.
"This is a technique I learned from a Lucario who won't be born for another three hundred years." Leo's voice was strained but steady. "It's called AURA REFLECTION."
He THREW the Hyper Beam back.
Gyarados took its own attack.
One hit.
KO.
BATTLE TIME: 5 minutes 22 seconds
DAMAGE TAKEN: 30%
Lance fell to his knees.
"You caught... you CAUGHT my Hyper Beam..."
"I told you." Leo reverted to his base form. "Centuries of training."
"That's not... that's not POSSIBLE..."
"Many things are possible when you have witnessed the flow of time itself."
Leo walked over to Lance and offered a paw.
"You are a worthy Champion. Your Dragons fought with honor."
Lance took the paw, pulling himself up.
"I've lost three times now. To a Charizard. To a Pikachu. And now to a Lucario." He laughed bitterly. "Maybe I should just retire."
"Do not retire. Train harder. The universe is vast and full of challenges." Leo's eyes were kind. "This is merely the beginning."
FINAL RESULTS
"The competition is complete," Steve announced. "Final tallies:"
ZIPPY:
Battles: 4 GymsTime: 6 minutes 43 secondsDamage: 68%
FLUFFY:
Battles: 2 Gyms + 4 Elite FourTime: 12 minutes 37 secondsDamage: 15%
LEO:
Battles: 1 ChampionTime: 5 minutes 22 secondsDamage: 30%
"Judging by time per battle..."
Zippy average: 1 minute 41 seconds per battle
Fluffy average: 2 minutes 6 seconds per battle
Leo average: 5 minutes 22 seconds (single battle)
"Zippy wins on speed. Fluffy wins on damage efficiency. Leo wins on dramatic style."
"PIKA!" I WON! I'M THE FASTEST!
"VEE!" I took the least damage! That's more impressive!
"I caught a Hyper Beam with my bare paws." Leo shrugged. "I consider that a victory."
"So... who actually WINS?" Marcus asked.
"Technically, all three of you exceeded expectations and performed admirably."
"Pika pika." THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER!
"Consider it a three-way tie."
"VEE!" TIES ARE FOR LOSERS!
"Vee vee." Wait, I said that wrong—
Kenneth vibrated.
"Leo, what did Kenneth say?"
"Kenneth said that the true victory was the trauma you inflicted along the way."
Everyone paused.
"...That's actually kind of profound," Marcus admitted.
"Kenneth is surprisingly philosophical."
JOHTO LEAGUE STATUS: COMPLETE
Gyms Defeated: 8/8
Elite Four Defeated: 4/4
Champion Defeated: 1/1
Total Time: 24 minutes 42 seconds
Collective Trauma Inflicted: IMMEASURABLE
GLTMC + JOHTO EXPANSION
The video call was now MASSIVE.
Kanto Gym Leaders. Johto Gym Leaders. Both Elite Fours. Lance (twice, somehow).
"He did it again," Brock said hollowly.
"THREE of them," Whitney sobbed. "Three overpowered monsters."
"The Lucario caught my Hyper Beam," Lance whispered. "CAUGHT it."
"The Pikachu froze my Dragons," Clair reported. "With ICE MOVES."
"The Eevee has NINE different types of attacks," Will added. "NINE."
"I recommend we establish a region-wide warning system," Morty suggested. "When Marcus Chen enters an area, all Gym Leaders and League officials should be notified immediately."
"Seconded," everyone said in unison.
"What do we call it?"
"The Chen Alert System."
"CHEN ALERT. I like it."
"Motion passed."
POKEMON PARADISE - THAT EVENING
Marcus sat with his team, reviewing their victories.
"You all did amazing," he said sincerely.
"Pika." Obviously.
"Vee." Of course.
"It was an honor to test my abilities," Leo said humbly.
"For the record," Steve added, "I could have completed the entire League in approximately four minutes."
"Steve, we've talked about this."
"I am simply noting the fact."
Kenneth vibrated.
"What did Kenneth say, Leo?"
"Kenneth said Steve should 'touch grass' and stop being 'salty.'"
"THE SHUCKLE SAID WHAT?!"
Kenneth vibrated again.
"Kenneth is now calling you 'cringe.'"
"I AM A MEWTWO! I AM NOT CRINGE! I AM THE PINNACLE OF PSYCHIC—"
"Pika pika." You're being very cringe right now.
"I—YOU—THE SHUCKLE—"
Steve flew away to have a private breakdown.
Marcus couldn't stop laughing.
CURRENT STATUS:
Johto Conquest: COMPLETE
Time Taken: Less than a day
Competition Winner: Three-way tie (disputed)
Steve's Ego: Damaged by Kenneth
Kenneth's Secret Life: Apparently very sassy
Next Region: TBD (the world is running out of Leagues)
Legendary Beasts: Impressed (and slightly concerned)
Lance's Retirement Plans: Under consideration
[A/N: THE JOHTO SPEEDRUN IS COMPLETE! Three overpowered Pokemon took down an entire region in MINUTES! Next chapter: Marcus receives an unexpected visitor from another region entirely, and the stakes get MUCH higher! Also, Team Rocket's Johto remnants make a TERRIBLE decision! Leave a comment about who won the competition in YOUR opinion!]