_________
Lucina
The heavy weight on my chest, a burden I had carried for years, finally began to lift. "So I believed my mother favored my brother," I confessed, the words tasting like bitter ash on my tongue. The man before me, Hakan, listened with an unwavering gaze.
"And I misunderstood her, thinking she resented me because Raikan died for my sake." I looked away, ashamed of the long-held error. The grief that had driven a wedge between my mother and me—the perceived resentment over the loss of my protector, Raikan—was a misunderstanding I'd allowed to fester.
The reality was far more painful for her. "It must've been more painful for her since she would have felt guilty... ...that Raikan died while following her request to protect me." The realization hit me, a wave of profound sorrow and relief washing over me. She wasn't resentful; she was drowning in guilt, and I had been too self-absorbed to see it.
My gaze returned to Hakan's handsome, earnest face, his dark eyes warm with understanding. "If it hadn't been for you, I would never have cleared up that misunderstanding with my mother." A small, genuine smile touched my lips. The past was finally being put to rest.
A short while later, I was still feeling weak and self-conscious about my movements. Hakan, with his stunningly muscular build, scooped me up effortlessly.
"Um... Hakan... Do you have to... ...carry me while we talk?" I asked, my cheeks flushing, trying to keep the FIDGET out of my voice as I was held against his bare, tattooed chest.
He gave me a firm look. "Didn't you hear what the cleric said? YOUR BODY IS CURRENTLY IN A WEAKENED STATE, SO YOU SHOULDN'T PUSH YOURSELF TOO HARD." His deep voice was commanding, yet laced with undeniable worry.
I pouted, trying to be independent. "B-BUT I'M SURE I CAN WALK. I haven't been able to take a single step because you're so worried," I mumbled, trying to wiggle a little, but his grip was solid. He simply held me closer, the faint, clean scent of his skin enveloping me.
It was in this moment, held securely in Hakan's strong arms, that a new voice interrupted us. A man bowed low, his expression full of respect. "YOUR MAJESTY."
"I HEAR THAT ADAR HAS REGAINED CONSCIOUSNESS." His eyes were bright with news.
I looked up at Hakan, my heart lifting. "She has?" The news was a wonderful distraction from my current embarrassing position. Hakan, still carrying me, merely adjusted his hold. Another life-threatening danger had passed, and the world seemed a little brighter because of it.
---
A courtier bowed before Hakan and me, announcing news that momentarily lifted the tension between us. "YOUR MAJESTY."
"I HEAR THAT ADAR HAS REGAINED CONSCIOUSNESS."
I looked up at Hakan, surprised. "She has?" I thought, still being held like an invalid. B-BUT I'M SURE I CAN WALK. I hadn't been able to take a single step because he was so worried. The thought was instantly forgotten as Hakan carried me into Adar's chamber.
A beautiful woman with long, dark hair, whom I recognized as a significant figure in court, stood by the bed. She greeted us with a smile and a tray of medicines.
"WELCOME." she said softly. "ADAR WENT BACK TO SLEEP NOT TOO LONG AGO." She placed the tray down with a slight TAP and looked at Hakan, her expression sobering.
"HOW IS SHE?" I asked, seeing Adar asleep in the bed, looking pale.
Hakan gently set me down. The woman answered, "I THINK IT WILL BE SOME TIME BEFORE SHE COMPLETELY RECOVERS." She paused, collecting her thoughts. "SO, YOUR MAJESTY... ...I WAS CONSIDERING TAKING ADAR TO THE QUEEN'S PALACE AND LOOKING AFTER HER THERE."
My eyes widened in surprise at the proposal. This was an unprecedented move, yet it seemed she was doing it out of a sense of responsibility. I watched Hakan closely.
"ARE YOU SURE?" I asked her, voicing my concern.
Hakan nodded. "I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FULFILL MY DUTIES... ...DUE TO ADAR'S STUBBORNNESS ALL THIS TIME." He gave a weary sigh. "I ALSO BELIEVE THIS IS THE RIGHT COURSE OF ACTION ACCORDING TO THE LAW."
He was speaking of his duty as the King, and the need for Adar's official care to be handled in a way that upheld propriety and, perhaps, also kept me safe from any further complications with her. I knew the proposal was sound, but seeing Hakan commit to this course of action still made me HESITATE internally. I just watched them both, my hand resting near the sleeping Adar, knowing that court affairs were often as delicate as a patient's recovery.
---
After Hakan carried me into Adar's chamber, he gently set me down. Adar was asleep, and a dark-haired woman, Giaret, stood nearby with a tray.
"WELCOME. ADAR WENT BACK TO SLEEP NOT TOO LONG AGO," she said.
"HOW IS SHE?" I asked, worry threading my voice.
"I THINK IT WILL BE SOME TIME BEFORE SHE COMPLETELY RECOVERS. SO, YOUR MAJESTY... ...I WAS CONSIDERING TAKING ADAR TO THE QUEEN'S PALACE AND LOOKING AFTER HER THERE." Giaret's suggestion was unexpected, and my mind immediately raced with possibilities.
"ARE YOU SURE?" I asked, glancing between her and Hakan.
Hakan nodded, his expression steady. "I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FULFILL MY DUTIES... ...DUE TO ADAR'S STUBBORNNESS ALL THIS TIME. I ALSO BELIEVE THIS IS THE RIGHT COURSE OF ACTION ACCORDING TO THE LAW." Hearing him speak of his royal duty made me hesitate. The weight of their law pressed on me, a reminder that even matters of care could not escape protocol.
Giaret then turned her gaze toward me, her voice sharp, ICY, and condescending. "DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING? YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR A WHILE NOW AND YET YOU STILL DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT OUR LAWS." She finished with a dismissive "TSK."
Hakan immediately stepped closer, placing a protective hand on my shoulder. "GIARET, YOU'VE LEARNED THE PALACE RULES SO YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW THIS..." His tone was firm, warning her to respect the bigger picture. "...BUT IF LUCINA BEARS MY CHILD, YOU NEED TO BE MORE RESPECTFUL TOWARDS HER."
Giaret's posture softened instantly. Her hands gave a slight "CLENCH" as she submitted. "OF COURSE," she murmured, the arrogance of before replaced with respect.
Hakan turned his warm attention back to me, ignoring Giaret's prior rudeness. "I'LL SEND YOU BOOKS ON TAYAR'S CULTURE AND LAWS, LUCINA. YOU CAN READ THEM AT YOUR OWN PACE AND ASK ME IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND."
My heart did a little flip-flop, a mix of gratitude and anxiety. "OH, I... EVEN IF HE DOES, I WON'T BE ABLE TO READ THEM..." I thought, giving a nervous GLANCE at a shelf filled with heavy, complex-looking tomes. The language barrier was a constant reminder of how little I belonged in this world.
Hakan noticed my unease immediately. "IS SOMETHING WRONG?" he asked.
"I-IT'S NOTHING..." I stammered, avoiding his gaze, but my distress betrayed me.
He tilted his head and asked simply, "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO READ?" I could only offer a small NOD.
He chuckled softly, a genuine "SMILE" spreading across his face. Then, lifting me slightly in his strong arms, he reassured me: "DON'T WORRY. THOSE BOOKS AREN'T WRITTEN IN TAYAR SCRIPT, BUT IN THE OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF THE CONTINENT."
"OH, UH..." Relief washed over me, lightening the tight knot in my chest. He had thought of everything.
Just as Hakan seemed ready to say more, a courtier RUSHED into the chamber, pausing only for a quick, respectful bow. "YOUR MAJESTY! THE MINISTERS HAVE ENTERED THE PALACE TO ATTEND THE MEETING BETWEEN TRIBES."
The announcement was a clear call to duty. Hakan gently "LOWERED" me to my feet, his eyes lingering on mine for a brief, protective moment. "I HAVE TO GO NOW. I'LL SEE YOU AT DINNER, LUCINA."
With a final glance, full of warmth and care, he turned and walked quickly away, the sound of his STEPs echoing through the chamber as he attended to the affairs of his kingdom.
COUGH COUGH.
I turned sharply at the sound, my attention immediately drawn. "IS SOMETHING WRONG?" I asked, noticing Gilla looking uncomfortable.
He continued coughing, covering his mouth with his hand as he walked toward me. "GILLAI!" he exclaimed, though his voice was still rough from the lingering cough.
I realized I had been so focused on the fact that he was awake that I hadn't noticed his condition. He then sat down beside me.
"HOW ARE YOU FEELING?" he asked. I was a bit startled by the question. "I THOUGHT YOU PASSED OUT A WHILE AGO. ESPECIALLY SINCE THE GATEKEEPER WOKE UP..."
COUGH COUGH. He coughed again, cutting himself off.
I laughed lightly, trying to reassure him. "DON'T WORRY, I'M USED TO IT. WHAT ABOUT YOU?" Concern returned to my expression. "I HEARD THAT YOU FAINTED."
"THAT TENDS TO HAPPEN WHEN I OVERUSE MY HEALING POWER. I'M FINE NOW," I replied with a bright smile, genuinely feeling much better. "HEHE."
Gilla looked genuinely confused. "YOU FAINT IF YOU OVERUSE YOUR HEALING POWER?" he asked, brow furrowed. "THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE HEARD OF HOLY POWER CAUSING THOSE KINDS OF SIDE EFFECTS." He leaned in slightly, his gaze questioning.
"WHAT? DO YOU THINK I HAVE SOME SORT OF HOLY POWER?" I asked, surprised and a little worried by his sudden insight.
"A DISTINCT CHARACTERISTIC OF HOLY POWER FROM THE CAMERU RELIGION IS HEALING," he stated flatly, with certainty.
I sighed, realizing the truth was out. I slumped slightly, trying to explain simply, recalling memories from my youth.
"WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, I NOTICED THAT MY INJURIES WOULD HEAL AFTER I WISHED THEY WOULD STOP HURTING. BUT I HID THIS FROM EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE I THOUGHT THEY WOULD PUNISH ME MORE IF THEY FOUND OUT," I confessed.
Gilla listened intently, his eyes never leaving mine. There was a pause before he spoke again, his expression serious and intense.
"... YOU SHOULD KEEP YOUR ABILITY A SECRET."
"HUH?" I looked up at him, puzzled by his suggestion.
He continued, explaining his logic. "YOU JUST SAID THAT YOUR BODY FEELS WEAK WHEN YOU USE IT A LOT. IF PEOPLE WERE TO FIND OUT THAT YOU HAVE A HEALING ABILITY..." he trailed off, clearly troubled by the thought, "...THEN PATIENTS WOULD COME..."
"...THEN PATIENTS WOULD COME SWARMING TO YOU. THEY WOULD PROBABLY CURSE AND THREATEN YOU IF YOU REFUSED TO TREAT THEM." His words sent a chill down my spine.
I still held onto my faith in him, though. "WOULDN'T HAKAN PROTECT ME IF I TOLD HIM ABOUT IT?" I asked, feeling a little defensive of Hakan.
Gilla looked away, thinking deeply. "OF COURSE HE WOULD DO HIS BEST TO PROTECT YOU." He paused, then his expression grew thoughtful. He began muttering to himself, unaware I could hear his thoughts.
He thinks, "THERE'S A HIGH CHANCE YOU'D BE ABLE TO BEAR HIM A CHILD DUE TO YOUR HEALING POWER... AND THAT ABILITY WILL BE VERY USEFUL TO HIM. IF LUCINA MANAGES TO BEAR HAKAN'S CHILD... THEN SHE'LL BECOME QUEEN... AND I'LL HAVE TO RETURN TO BEING MY SISTER'S CAPTIVE AND LIVING AS A BLACK MAGE." He concluded, "I CAN'T LET ANYONE FIND OUT ABOUT LUCINA'S HEALING POWER. ESPECIALLY HAKAN."
He looked back at me and said flatly, "DON'T TRUST HAKAN. WHO DO YOU THINK HE'LL PICK IF HE HAS TO CHOOSE BETWEEN YOU OR THE TAYAR TRIBE?"
My heart sank at the severity of his tone and question. He continued, painting a bleak picture. "IF HE NEEDED TO PROTECT THE TAYAR TRIBE... HE WOULDN'T BAT AN EYELID IF YOU FELL ILL."
I remembered a recent memory: Hakan hovering over me, injured but intensely focused. "I CAN'T BEAR TO THINK WHAT IT WOULD'VE BEEN LIKE... IF I HAD LOST YOU THERE."
"HE WOULDN'T DO THAT..." I whispered, trying to reassure myself as much as him.
Gilla grew animated, waving his hands in a gesture of dismissal. "DON'T BE SO NAIVE. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM. A WARMONGER LIKE HIM PROBABLY WOULDN'T HESITATE TO TAKE YOU TO THE BATTLEFIELD AS WELL." His expression was shocked, almost hysterical, as if the thought horrified him. "SOMEONE WITH A HEALING POWER WOULD BE VERY USEFUL IN BATTLE."
I looked away, considering his words, but my longing was stronger than his warning. "I-I... WOULDN'T MIND THAT AS LONG AS I CAN STAY BY HIS SIDE."
Absolutely! Here's a seamless expansion of your scene up to the passage you provided, maintaining the first-person perspective of the white-haired character ("I") and the emotional tone:
"I-I... WOULDN'T MIND THAT AS LONG AS I CAN STAY BY HIS SIDE," I admitted, my cheeks flushing slightly.
Gilla threw his hands up in a dramatic groan of disbelief. "GROAN," he exclaimed, then asked, "WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT HIM SO MUCH?"
"T-THAT'S... NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" I shot back, my face heating with embarrassment at his nosiness.
He lowered his hands and settled back down, muttering to himself again, though I caught every word.
He thought, "She's simply had her heart stolen by the first person who showed her kindness. It doesn't matter who that person is."
Then he had a flash of an imagined memory: Gilla in a different outfit, holding my hand, with the thought: "IF I WAS THE FIRST PERSON SHE MET..."
In my memory, my eyes were wide with adoration, beaming up at him. I was wearing a crown of leaves, looking radiant. "GILLAI..."
Gilla blinked, suddenly red-faced and clutching his chest. "BA-BUMP. BA-BUMP."
I noticed his sudden change. "WHAT IS IT? YOUR FACE IS SO RED..." I asked, curious and concerned.
He quickly coughed to cover his embarrassment. "COUGH I-IT'S JUST MY HEART ACTING UP... SOMETIMES MY PULSE SPEEDS UP FOR NO REASON." He seemed mortified. "WHAT WAS THAT? WHY DID I IMAGINE THAT JUST NOW?"
Shaking his head, he tried to refocus on the main issue. "A-ANYWAY, YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR ABILITY A SECRET."
His tone grew dire again. "SOME MAY EVEN CHOOSE TO WAGE A WAR OVER YOU. THAT COULD PUT HAKAN IN DANGER."
The thought of Hakan being hurt because of me instantly sobered me. "T-THAT'S NOT GOOD... I NEVER THOUGHT THAT MIGHT HAPPEN... I DON'T WANT HIM TO GET HURT."
"WHICH REMINDS ME, WHY DID YOU LOOK SO DISAPPOINTED EARLIER?" he asked, sensing a shift in my mood.
"AH. IS SOMETHING WRONG?" I asked, though I already knew. "HAKAN SAID THAT HE WOULD SEND SOME BOOKS WRITTEN IN THE OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF THE CONTINENT TO ME, BUT I CAN'T READ." I confessed, dropping my head in shame.
"PAUSE. REALLY?" Gilla asked, clearly shocked.
"YUP, BUT I CAN'T TELL ANYONE..." I muttered, pulling my knees up, feeling small and foolish.
I looked down, a wave of childish desperation washing over me. "...BECAUSE THEY'LL MAKE FUN OF ME IF THEY FIND OUT. MAYBE I SHOULD ASK HAKAN TO FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN SECRETLY TEACH ME, SO THAT NO ONE CAN SPREAD ANY RUMORS..." I thought, my eyes brimming with unshed tears as I imagined the humiliation.
I looked over at Gilla, a tiny spark of hope igniting, though I immediately tried to dismiss it. He was a black mage and wary of Hakan—he certainly wouldn't offer to help me.
A long silence stretched between us. I waited, expecting him to dismiss my problem, but when I looked up, Gilla was leaning forward, meeting my gaze with a strangely earnest expression.
"WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TEACH YOU?"
His offer hung in the air, sudden and unexpected. I stared at him, unable to speak, the light of the palace casting a soft glow around his dark figure. A teacher? Gilla? The possibility, combined with the secrecy we already shared, felt electrifying.