I'm in the bathroom, fresh out of the shower, a white towel wrapped around my waist and my hair still dripping. The mirror is fogged, steam fills the small space, and the chill of the tiles creeps up through my bare feet.
The goddess, as always, wastes no time.
"Gooood morniiiing, my favorite cuck~ Another day in this boring saint's life.Are you going to reject every girl who crosses your path again today?Because I'm already falling asleep, you know?I need action! Drama! Sex! Blood! Something!"
I sigh, run a hand through my wet hair.
"You can do whatever you want. Invent your own fun. Or go manipulate another idiot like me to fulfill your perverted fantasies. I'm a rational man. And a rational man doesn't go out screwing everything that moves."
"Pffffft. You're so boring.At least before you had drama, tears, and betrayal.Now you've got kittens and bentos.This is a shōjo for grade‑school girls!Where's the netorare you promised me?"
"I never promised you anything."
Suddenly I remember something. Shit. Yesterday I left clothes drying outside, on the small shared rack behind the building. A "private" space only for neighbors… but at this hour no one's awake.
I shrug. It's 5:47 in the morning, the sun hasn't risen, it's cold, and there's not a soul on the street.
I leave the bathroom still in the towel, cross the living room barefoot, and open the front door. The icy dawn wind hits me like a punch. The sky is dark gray, just a thread of light on the horizon. The air smells of dampness and wet asphalt.
I lower my gaze to look for the clothes… And my heart stops.
There, standing right in front of my door, is Hoshino. She's wearing an oversized cream-colored sweater that reaches almost mid-thigh, a dark brown pleated skirt, thick gray tights, and ankle boots. Her brown hair is pulled back in a low ponytail, and she's wearing a wool hat that covers her ears. Her short brown hair is tousled by the wind, her cheeks and the tip of her nose red from the cold.
And her eyes… her eyes are fixed directly on my abdomen. Bare. Exposed. Only covered by a towel that suddenly feels like it weighs a ton.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!THE DANDERE CAUGHT YOU IN A TOWEL!LOOK AT HER FACE! LOOK AT HER EYES!SHE'S IN FULL SHOCK MODE!This is better than any hentai I've ever seen!" the goddess screams, seductive and completely deranged.
I blush to my ears, slam the door shut, and shout from inside: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE AT THIS HOUR, HOSHINO?!"
From the other side of the door, her trembling, nervous voice, almost a squeak: "I‑I'm so sorry! I didn't know you were… you were… like that! B‑but I needed to talk to you! It's important!"
"How did you know where I live?!"
"I‑I asked! I asked people who passed by sometimes! And… and an old lady told me you lived in 2‑B! I didn't want to bother you! Really! B‑but it's about Luna and the kittens!"
I take a deep breath, try to calm myself, rest my forehead against the cold door.
"What about the cats?"
"I… I saved money. For two months. Working weekends at a cat café. I have enough to take Luna and the babies to the vet! For vaccines, deworming, checkups… everything! But I can't take them alone! There are too many and… and I'm afraid they'll escape! That's why I came so early! To ask for your help!"
Silence. Only her nervous breathing on the other side of the door.
"Oh, my heart! The dandere saving money for months for her kittens and coming to find her senpai in a towel!This is so pure and so perverted at the same time!Kazuo, open the door! OPEN IT AND GIVE HER A HUG!Or at least put on a shirt before she faints!" the goddess shrieks, laughing and crying at once.
I rub my face with my hand.
"Give me… give me two minutes. I'll get dressed and come out."
"Y‑yes! Of course! I'm really sorry again!"
I turn, run to my room, throw on the first things I find (sweatpants and a black hoodie), and yank the door open again.
Hoshino is there, hands clasped in front of her, face still red as a tomato, staring at the floor as if she wished it would swallow her whole.
...
There are no classes today. It's Saturday, early, and the streets are completely empty. The sky still has that bluish‑gray color of dawn, and the air cuts like blades.
Hoshino walks beside me. In her arms, Luna sleeps curled up like a gray ball, breathing peacefully. In my arms I carry the cardboard box lined with the old blanket, where the four kittens travel—meowing nonstop, climbing over each other, and biting my fingers with their tiny milk teeth.
The silence between us is dense, uncomfortable. Hoshino's cheeks have been permanently red ever since she saw me in a towel; her lips tremble slightly, and she doesn't dare look at me for more than two seconds at a time.
"You don't need to be so nervous."
I say at last, voice low, almost amused.
She jumps a little, as if I'd caught her stealing.
"I‑I'm not nervous! ," blurts out too quickly. "It's… it's my fault! I came without warning and… and I saw you… saw you… like that! I'm so sorry!"
I roll my eyes.
"I already accepted your apology ten minutes ago. Relax. It's fine."
"B‑but it's not fine! It was super embarrassing! And… and now I don't know where to look!"
"Then look at the cats. They're cuter than me."
She lowers her gaze to the box, and when she sees Mochi trying to climb up my hoodie, she lets out a nervous giggle.
"Y‑yes… they're very cute…"
And she falls silent again, still red as a tomato.
──────────────────────────────────
We arrive at the "Sakurasawa" veterinary clinic. It's a small two‑story building, painted white and light green, with a glowing sign of a smiling puppy and kitten. At the entrance there are pots of seasonal flowers and a little wooden sign that says "Welcome, humans and furry friends."
Inside it smells of mild disinfectant and dog biscuits. The walls are covered with photos of pets and children's drawings thanking the veterinarians.
An older woman, gray hair tied in a bun and wearing a white coat, greets us with a huge smile.
"Hoshino‑chan! What a joy to see you so early! And you've brought the whole family!"
Hoshino lights up instantly.
"Good morning, Aunt Keiko! Yes… today I brought Luna and the babies for their first check‑up."
The woman (Keiko‑san, apparently) guides us down the hallway, talking nonstop about how quickly the kittens are growing and how healthy Luna looks. Suddenly, she turns with a mischievous smile.
"You're also here to see your boyfriend, aren't you? He's in his office! I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see you with so much furry company!"
Hoshino nods, but her smile cools a little, barely noticeable.
"Y‑yes… of course…"
Keiko‑san laughs and leads us to a door with a plaque that reads "Dr. Sakurasawa Ren – Veterinarian." We enter without knocking.
Inside is a man in his early thirties, tall, with slightly long dark brown hair, thin‑framed glasses, and a white coat open over a light blue shirt. He's attractive, in that calm, adult way that makes people trust him instantly. Too old for Hoshino, I think fleetingly, but push the thought aside. Not my problem.
The goddess, of course, can't resist. "Mmm… look at that specimen, Kazuo…That posture, that voice that must be deep and smooth…I'd eat him up with potatoes… and for dessert afterward "
"Shut up, perverted."
The doctor looks up from his papers and smiles when he sees us.
"Hoshino‑chan! What an early surprise! And…," he looks at me, curious but kind. "you must be the famous "cat senpai," right? Hoshino already told me about you."
I smile faintly, a bit uncomfortable.
"Reiji Ryūsei. Nice to meet you."
"Sakurasawa Ren. The pleasure is mine. I've heard you helped a lot with the litter. Thank you, truly."
"It was nothing," I reply, scratching my neck. "She did all the work."
Hoshino blushes even more and lowers her gaze.
Ren crouches to look at Luna, who has already woken up and watches him curiously.
"Well, what a beautiful mama we have here… And the babies… my goodness, how gorgeous they are! We'll give them a full check‑up, vaccines, deworming… and we'll spay Luna when the time comes, alright?"
Hoshino nods eagerly.
"Yes! Everything they need!"
Ren smiles, stands, and looks at me again.
"Hey, Reiji‑kun… would you mind helping me get the little ones out of the box? We need to weigh them one by one, and sometimes they get rebellious."
"Of course."
Between the two of us we pull out the four little troublemakers, meowing and wriggling like crazy. Ren handles them with incredible gentleness, weighing them, checking their eyes and ears, giving them their first vaccines while Hoshino watches with shining eyes of excitement.
At one point, while Ren examines Miso, he says quietly to me: "Thank you, truly, for coming with her. Hoshino is… special. She doesn't trust people easily. The fact that she came to find you says a lot about you."
I stay silent for a moment.
"I didn't do anything extraordinary."
"You did enough." he replies with a sincere smile.
And for the first time in a long while… I feel… good.
The check‑up ends without problems. The kittens are healthy, vaccinated, dewormed, and with a clean certificate. Luna purrs calmly while the four babies pile on top of her inside the box, already half asleep after all the commotion.
Hoshino, with trembling hands, pulls out the bundle of bills she had hidden in the inner pocket of her coat. It's a thick wad, neatly folded, held together with a pink rubber band. She holds it with both hands as if it were an offering, but her face is pale and her lips tremble slightly.
It strikes me as strange. Very strange. A girlfriend paying her boyfriend's vet bill for his own cats? That makes no sense.
And then the door bursts open. I thought it would be Aunt Keiko with the final paperwork, but no. It's a man. Forty‑something, maybe fifty. Fat, sweaty, bald on the crown with greasy gray strands clinging to the sides. A white shirt too tight, showing every fold of his belly, a loose tie, a cheap suit that reeks of stale tobacco even from here. And a look… a look that makes my skin crawl. Small, sunken eyes that sweep the room as if everything belonged to him.
The goddess, who had been silent, lets out a groan of disgust. "Ugh. What is that? A sewer troll in a suit?"
Me, mentally, with a cruel smile: "Look, your perfect type.Older, rich, disgusting.Go for him, goddess of love.I'm sure he'll make you very happy."
"Shut up right now, idiot! That's an insult to my divine taste!"
Doctor Ren straightens immediately and gives him a wide, professional smile.
"Boss, right on time. We just finished the check‑up for Hoshino‑chan's litter."
The man nods, never taking his eyes off Hoshino.
"Sakurada Takeshi," he introduces himself in a hoarse voice, ignoring me. "Owner of the clinic."
Then his eyes settle on her. And he smiles. A slow, slimy smile that stretches his lips too far.
Hoshino steps back and presses closer to me. She's trembling. I can feel it in the shoulder brushing my arm.
"I… I was just about to pay for the consultation" Hoshino whispers, barely audible, raising the bundle of bills.
Ren quickly raises a hand, cutting her off.
"No, no, Hoshino‑chan. That won't be necessary. You know with the boss we have… a special arrangement."
Sakurada lets out a low, guttural chuckle.
"Of course, of course. For my little Hoshino‑chan there are always special discounts. Right, Ren?"
The atmosphere turns heavy as lead. Hoshino lowers her head, the bills trembling in her fingers.
"I‑I can pay…" she insists, her voice breaking. "I'll pay whatever it takes…"
Ren cuts her off again, this time with a darker tone, almost a warning.
"No need, I already told you."
Hoshino lets out a small whimper of fear and hides completely behind me, clutching the edge of my hoodie like a lifeline.
Sakurada keeps smiling, his narrowed eyes fixed on her.
"Besides… you can always pay me another way, can't you, little one? You know how this works."
The air becomes unbreathable. I step forward, set the box of cats gently on the floor, and plant myself in front of Hoshino, cutting off the pig's line of sight.
"Thank you for everything, Doctor Sakurasawa," I say with false politeness sharp enough to cut. "Very kind of you to offer the discount."
The man looks at me for the first time, raising an eyebrow.
"And who are you, boy?"
"Nobody important," I reply, smiling with clenched teeth. "Just the one taking the cats and the girl out of here. Now."
Ren steps forward, nervous.
"Reiji‑kun, wait…"
But Sakurada raises a fat hand and silences him.
"Relax, Ren. The boy is just being… protective."
Then he looks me up and down, assessing.
"Do you know how much a full check‑up for five cats costs, kid? Do you know how much my time is worth?"
"I don't care," I answer coldly. "Already paid, according to you. So we're leaving."
I grab the box with one hand. With the other I take Hoshino's hand. It's ice‑cold, trembling like a leaf.
"Let's go." I say softly.
She nods without looking at anyone.
Sakurada lets out a low, disgusting laugh.
"Always so shy, my Hoshino‑chan… We'll see each other soon, won't we? You and I have unfinished business."
Hoshino squeezes my hand so hard it almost hurts.
We leave the office without looking back. In the hallway, Keiko‑san tries to say something, but when she sees our faces she falls silent and only opens the front door.
The cold air of the street hits us like a balm. Hoshino doesn't let go of my hand for a single moment. And I… I squeeze hers a little tighter.
...
The walk back is a heavy silence, almost painful. The streets are still empty, the sky has lightened a little, but the cold still cuts. Hoshino walks beside me with her head down, shoulders hunched, hands clenched in front of her coat. The box with the cats rests in my arms; Luna sleeps peacefully and the four little ones have finally calmed down.
I can't take it anymore.
"Hoshino..."
She stiffens, but doesn't lift her gaze.
"What… what was going on in there?," I ask, voice low but firm. "With that man. With Sakurada."
The goddess tries to interrupt, nervous, almost pleading: "Kazuo, wait, don't pressure her now, she's scared, leave it for another time…"
I ignore her completely.
"What kind of "special arrangement" is that? Why were you trembling so much? Why didn't Ren let you pay?"
Hoshino stops dead. She raises her head slowly and gives me a smile… a nervous, pitiful smile that doesn't reach her eyes.
"There's… nothing wrong," she whispers. "Just… misunderstandings. There are always misunderstandings. It's nothing, really."
A sigh of pure surprise escapes me. I stare at her for another second, searching for any crack in that mask, but I find nothing. She's locked up tight.
I nod slowly.
"Alright."
And we keep walking. Another silence, but this time lighter.
After a few minutes, I speak again, softer this time.
"If you want… Luna and the kittens can stay at my place. There's space. They'll be safe. I can buy them food, litter, whatever they need."
(I even think I could ask Reika to help with that—she already keeps me fed.)
Hoshino glances at me, surprised.
"And you… If you want, you can stay too. Whenever you like. To see them, to play with them… or simply to talk. About anything. About cats, about stars, about whatever you want."
I smile. A small, sincere smile, the kind I almost never give.
She lifts her head fully. Her cheeks explode in red. Her eyes widen, shining, and she nods so fast it looks like her head might fly off.
"Y‑yes! Of course! I'd love to! Th‑thank you, Reiji‑senpai… thank you so much!"
And for the first time since we left the clinic, she smiles for real.
──────────────────────────────────
Back at my apartment, the box is open on the living room floor. The kittens run everywhere: Mochi chases a ball of paper, Matcha tries to climb the sofa, Sushi sleeps on top of my sneaker, and Miso gnaws at Hoshino's shoelaces. Luna, exhausted, climbed onto my lap the moment I sat on the floor and fell asleep, purring like a tiny engine.
Hoshino sits across from me, legs crossed, laughing softly every time a kitten gets into mischief. She looks happy. Truly happy.
Her phone lies to one side on the low table. It starts vibrating again and again. Constant notifications. She ignores them. Keeps playing, laughing, talking to the cats in a low voice.
I whisper to Luna: "Hey, queen, give me a second?"
Luna meows lazily, stretches, and slips off my lap with feline dignity.
I move slowly to the table, pick up my phone, and activate the camera. I want to see who the hell is insisting so much. I lean over Hoshino's phone, ready to snap a picture of the screen.
And just at that moment… Hoshino turns, laughing, to say something to me. Our faces end up less than ten centimeters apart. Her honey eyes go wide. My eyes widen too. Time stops. We're so close I can feel her warm breath on my lips.
Click. My finger presses the button by pure reflex and the photo is taken.
Hoshino blushes to her ears, drops her gaze instantly, and covers her face with her hands.
"I‑I'm not ready yet…!" She whispers, almost inaudible.
I blush too, realizing what she just said. I pull back quickly, as if burned.
"I'm sorry! That wasn't it! I was going to ask you something and… and you turned just then! I didn't mean… it wasn't…!"
Silence. She keeps her hands over her face, but between her fingers I see a small, timid, happy smile escape.
I stay sitting on the floor, phone in hand, heart pounding like crazy. And the kittens, oblivious to everything, keep playing as if nothing had happened.
...
I'm at the entrance, the door open, cold air seeping in. Hoshino stands in front of me, coat buttoned, small backpack hanging from her shoulders, hands clasped tightly in front of her body.
"Thank you so much for everything, Reiji‑senpai…" she whispers softly. "Really… I never thought someone…"
She stops, lowers her gaze. On the sofa, the four kittens sleep piled together like a single ball of fur. Luna sits upright, very dignified, meowing softly, as if it hurts to say goodbye.
Hoshino crouches for a moment, strokes Luna's head.
"Be good, okay? I'll be back tomorrow…"
Then she straightens, looks at me again, her cheeks completely red.
"Thank you… for letting me come… for the cats… for everything…"
I think, without meaning to, that it's nice. That I can already consider her a friend. A real friend.
And suddenly, inside my head, a dry huff, clearly annoyed.
Hoshino keeps speaking, nervous.
"C‑can I… can I come tomorrow too? Just for a little while… to see them…"
"Of course," I reply, smiling. "Whenever you want."
And then, without warning, she throws herself at me. She hugs me tightly, arms around my waist, face buried in my chest. I feel her warmth, her quickened breath, the vanilla scent of her hair.
Another huff, louder this time and clearly indignant, echoes in my mind.
My eyes go wide. I don't know where to put my hands. I stay stiff as a statue.
She pulls away after a few seconds, lowers her gaze, and murmurs, almost voiceless: "Thank you… truly…"
And with a sweet, timid, beautiful smile, she turns and walks down the hallway.
I close the door. Take a deep breath. Look toward the sofa. Luna stares at me with wide eyes and meows, as if to say, "And my petting?"
I sigh, walk over, and sit on the floor, leaning my back against the sofa. Luna climbs onto my lap instantly, curls up, and begins to purr.
I pull out my phone. And the goddess finally explodes.
"A friend? You seriously consider her just a friend?She just hugged you like you were her personal savior!And you, standing there, smiling like an idiot!"
I chuckle softly, stroking Luna.
"Jealous?"
"NO!" she screams, utterly offended. "Of course not! I'm a goddess! I don't get jealous of shy mortals with cat complexes!"
"Well, you sounded very jealous."
"That's your imagination! I'm just… just outraged at your lack of ambition!You could have a whole harem and you go around with 'friends' and 'kittens'!It's insulting!"
"Why can't I have normal friends?"
"Because I created you for drama! For chaos! For netorare!Not to be a cat babysitter and friend of danderes!That's an insult to my masterpiece!"
I sigh, open the phone gallery, and look at the photo I accidentally took: Hoshino and me just centimeters apart, her eyes huge, my face in total surprise.
The goddess peeks in, curious. "Hey… why did you keep that photo?Are you getting romantic or what?"
"No. It's strange. A girl like her, who barely talks to anyone, gets nonstop notifications. I wanted to see who it was."
"Bah, probably her mother or something."
I zoom in on the screenshot. The last two notifications are…
The first: "TwitCasting notification User @DrLove_69 started following you"
The second: Text message – contact saved as "Work" "It's time to work, little one.Today at 20:00.Don't make me wait."
My stomach drops. I check the time. It's 11:14. And I feel the world grow a little darker.
I say quietly, almost to myself: "It's… strange. Too strange."
I stroke Luna, who has fallen asleep again on my lap, and with my other hand I open the Play Store. I search for "TwitCasting," download the app while the goddess tries to downplay it.
"Bah, relax. It's probably just an online friend or an innocent fan.Shy girls love having a secret life on the internet.It's super common."
"No," I answer flatly. "This doesn't look good."
The app installs. I quickly create an account: user @SilentWolf_02 (the first thing that comes to mind). I go to the search bar and type exactly the name I saw in the notification: DrLove_69
The profile appears instantly. Profile picture: a kawaii goth girl. Description: "Lover of young kittens." She's currently watching a live stream from a user named @HoshiKawaii_2.
I enter. And my world stops.
On the screen appears a girl. It's Hoshino… but it's not Hoshino.
She's wearing a dark gothic‑lolita outfit: a shiny black corset with red laces, a short tulle skirt with layers of lace, visible black garters, fishnet stockings up to mid‑thigh, and tall platform boots. The top reveals her navel and a temporary tattoo of a star just below. Around her neck, a black choker with a red heart and a little bell that jingles every time she moves. On her hands, fingerless lace gloves.
But the most striking thing is the hair: a long, dark‑lilac wig, perfectly straight, with blunt bangs and two high ponytails tied with red ribbons. It looks so real it could be hers.
She's sitting in a pink gamer chair, purple LED lights behind her, a professional microphone in front, and a camera angled from chest up. And she's performing. Performing as if she were someone else.
A seductive smile, half‑closed eyes painted with dark shadow, a voice high‑pitched yet husky at the same time, dripping with poisonous honey.
"Nyaa~ ! Good evening, my favorite kittens! Tonight your princess Hoshi is super happy because my number one donor is here again! Look how generous daddy is~!"
The chat explodes. There are 9,847 viewers. It's the most watched stream on the platform at this moment.
And at the top of the chat, a highlighted user with a golden crown keeps donating nonstop. @KuroNeko_Chan.
1000 yen – "You're the cutest in the world, Hoshi‑chan!"
2000 yen – "Turn around a little!"
5000 yen – "That bell is driving me crazy!"
Hoshi reads aloud, voice syrupy and playful: "Ay, KuroNeko‑chan~ ! Always so generous! Of course I'll spin for you, my favorite kitty! Look, look~!"
She stands, spins slowly, the skirt lifts just enough, the bell jingles. The chat explodes in hearts and messages.
I'm frozen. I click on @KuroNeko_Chan's profile. Profile picture: a girl with black hair tied in a perfect bun, round glasses, sweet smile…
It's Akira. Kurokawa Akira. The same one who yesterday almost got slapped by her boyfriend. The same one who handed me a wad of bills.
The goddess, for the first time, is speechless for a second… then bursts with perverted excitement: "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!The dandere is a secret camgirl!And the yankee is her lesbian sugar mommy!This is better than any novel I've ever written!Fetishes everywhere! Submissive kitty + rich dominatrix!Kazuo, this is ART! Make a threesome with them, please! It's obvious the yankee is bisexual!"
On the stream, "Hoshi" keeps speaking directly to @KuroNeko_Chan.
"KuroNeko‑chan, today I'm wearing the collar you gave me last week~! Do you like how the bell sounds when I move? It's like I'm really your kitty! Thanks for the 10,000 yen yesterday! Without you I couldn't keep being so cute for everyone~!"
And in the chat, Akira responds with another donation of 8,000 yen: "Everything for my princess.Do what I asked last time, please "
Hoshi bites her lip, feigns embarrassment, but her eyes gleam with greed.
"Ay, you're naughty~! But since you're my favorite… only for you, nyaa~!"
And she begins slowly unbuttoning the first clasp of the corset.
I shut off the phone instantly. The apartment falls into silence.
...
...
The corset is tight, but I smile at the camera like it's the most natural thing in the world.
"Nyaa~! Thank you for the 5,000 yen, KuroNeko-chan! You're the best kitties in the whole wide world! Look how happy your Hoshi-chan is today!"
The chat explodes with hearts and messages. The little bell on my collar jingles every time I move. I lean forward a bit, blow a kiss, and coo in my sweetest voice:
"Tomorrow I'll come wearing a brand-new outfit that you're gonna love! I promise! I love you all so much, my darlings~!"
Out of the corner of my eye, I see my phone vibrate on the table. Just one message.
The sparkle in my eyes dies, like someone flipped off the lights.
I look at the camera one last time.
"I… I'm sorry, kittens… I have to end early today… But I'll be back tomorrow, okay? Don't forget me!"
I turn off the stream. The screen goes black.
And the room turns cold.
I sit there for another second, breathing hard. With shaking hands I pull off the lilac wig and let it fall to the floor like it burns. My short brown hair appears underneath—flattened, sweaty.
The door behind me opens with a slow creak.
"Show's over, whore."
Ren's voice, cold, emotionless.
I jump to my feet and spin around. He's standing there in the same white clinic coat, eyes empty.
"Sakurada-san is waiting. It's time."
My legs shake. I quickly bend down, clumsily grab the wig, and shove it back on, as if it could protect me somehow.
I walk past him without looking.
In the next room, the red light of the professional camera is already on.
And he's there.
Sakurada Takeshi. Half-naked, wearing only dirty boxers, sitting on a stained mattress on the floor. His belly hangs over the waistband, sweat glistening on pale, marked-up skin. He licks his lips with a fat, wet tongue, his tiny eyes stabbing into me like knives.
"Come here, my favorite little kitty…" his voice is a damp growl. "Daddy's been waiting all day."
I take one step back, but Ren shoves me from behind.
"No!," I scream, voice cracking. "Please, not today! I already did the stream! I earned enough! Please, Ren, please!"
"Shut up," he cuts me off, ice-cold. "It's in the contract. You signed it. You know what happens if you don't comply."
Tears are already burning my eyes.
Sakurada laughs—a wet, disgusting sound.
"Come on, baby… Don't cry… Daddy just wants to play a little with his favorite doll…"
He points at my bandaged arms.
"Take off the bandages. I want to see them again."
I shake my head, hugging myself.
"No! Please, no!"
He heaves himself up and waddles closer. His fat hands grab my wrists and squeeze until it hurts.
"Let go of me!"
"Take them off."
he repeats, breathing right in my face. He smells like booze, cigarettes, and stale sweat. I gag.
With trembling fingers I unwrap the black bandages.
The scars appear: old white lines, newer pink ones, some still scabbed.
Sakurada moans with pleasure.
"So pretty… Look how nicely they're healing…"
He starts licking them. Slowly. With his flat, wet tongue. Up my forearm, leaving a shiny trail of saliva.
Tears fall uncontrollably.
"Stop! Please, stop!"
"The razor!," he shouts, excited. "Ren, the razor!"
Ren, without looking at me, pulls a box cutter from his pocket and hands it over.
"NO! NO, PLEASE!," I scream, backing away. "No more cuts! Please, Ren, please!"
"Shut up already." he says, no feeling in his voice. "Just one. So you remember who's in charge."
Sakurada grabs my hair (the wig) and yanks me down onto the mattress. I fall on my back. He climbs on top, his weight crushing me, his breath in my face.
"Easy, kitty… Just one little cut… Then Daddy will give you your reward…"
The blade glints under the red camera light.
And in that moment, when I feel like I'm finally going to shatter completely…
I remember a face.
Reiji.
His small smile when he played with Miso. His low voice saying "you can stay whenever you want." His strong arms when he carried me out of the clinic.
And for one second—just one second—I calm down.
Even though the tears keep falling.
Even though the blade keeps coming closer.
Even though the world is black.
In my head there's only one sentence I repeat like a prayer:
"I wish he were here… I wish he were here… I wish he were here…"
And the camera keeps recording.
And Ren keeps watching.
And Sakurada keeps smiling.
And I… I just close my eyes.
And wish I could disappear.