It began with the dumbest argument Hell had ever seen.
Delta and Hades stood in the center of the throne room, glaring at each other like two ancient titans locked in an epic rivalry.
Over what?
No one knew.
Probably nothing.
Rei watched from the side with quiet resignation, already predicting the outcome.
Hades jabbed a finger at Delta. "Fine! Settle it the ancient way!"
Delta blinked. "…Chess again?"
"No," Hades growled. "Rock. Paper. Scissors."
Every demon in Hell gasped.
One fainted.
Cerberus whimpered.
Even the walls shook like they wanted nothing to do with this.
Delta cracked his knuckles. "I accept."
Hades smirked. "Prepare to lose."
Rei murmured, "He shouldn't have said that."
---
They raised their fists.
"One," Hades said.
"Two," Delta continued.
"Three—"
Hades threw rock.
Delta threw scissors.
Hades laughed triumphantly. "HAH! Rock crushes scissors—"
Delta's scissors cut the rock in half.
Literally.
A shockwave blew every spectator backwards.
Hades stared at the sliced remains of his "rock."
"…You can't do that."
Delta shrugged. "I did."
Rei nodded. "That is consistent with his personality."
---
Round two.
Hades, sweating, recharged his hand with divine energy.
"AGAIN."
"One— two— THREE!"
Hades threw paper, just to be safe.
Delta threw scissors again.
Hades howled. "STOP PICKING SCISSORS."
"It works," Delta replied.
Rei added softly, "It really does."
Hades threw his hands up. "Paper beats rock! Rock beats scissors! Scissors beat paper! It's a TRIANGLE—"
Delta smirked. "I'm the fourth side."
"What does that even MEAN?!" Hades barked.
But it didn't matter.
Delta now stood at 2–0.
Demons took notes. Cerberus began placing bets. Someone started selling snacks labeled Official Rock-Paper-Delta Merchandise.
---
Final round.
Hades breathed deeply.
Centered himself.
Summoned cosmic power.
Rei raised a brow. "Are you powering up for rock paper scissors?"
"It's necessary," Hades hissed.
Delta cracked his neck. "You're stalling."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are."
Rei sighed.
They raised their fists.
"One."
"Two."
"THREE!"
Hades threw rock charged with enough force to pulverize a mountain.
Delta threw scissors again.
The same scissors.
The same angle.
The same disrespect.
The scissors cut the divine rock in half so cleanly it took reality a second to realize it happened.
Hades slowly sank to his knees.
"…You only used scissors."
Delta nodded. "Yes."
"Why."
Delta shrugged. "Instinct."
Rei added, "Strategy: 0%. Disrespect: 100%."
Hades collapsed flat on the floor.
Delta stepped over him like it was Tuesday.
"I win."
Narrator:
He did, in fact, win flawlessly.
Delta glared upward. "You didn't need to say that."
Rei smiled faintly. "I enjoyed it."
Hell declared the official results:
Winner: Delta
Loser: Hades
Banned Gesture: Scissors (Delta abused it)
Hades swore to never challenge Delta again.
He absolutely would.