According to a legend circling our existence, our lives aren't truly from our parents- even if all the evidence suggests otherwise. Nor are they shaped solely by the people or situations we encounter as we grow up, because we can survive a distance from them.
Our entire existence comes from a higher power, so I heard. A God, if I may. Why? Nobody knows.
Do I believe in that? Wrong question. I'm sixteen, and today I'm having my first menstrual circle ever- a big deal in my family.
I'm even having cake for dinner, and Mama can't say- Uh nor what?
It's my awakening day, people.
Today, I get to meet a God and ask for anything I want. And no, I'm not the only one who meets the criteria- but I'd be damned if I'm not the only one wishing to get the hell out of here. My home…
That doesn't mean you belong, does it?
"Oh my God…" my oldest sister, Nellie, gasped, tears already welling in her eyes. She's the major crier of the family and now, plus the hormones? Not a great cheerleading candidate. "I never knew a dress could look this great on you!"
"Then it's a good thing I'm only wearing one today… for the last time," I said, squirming in the fabric. Yes, I looked amazing- but this would be the last time I'd see her too. Am I being selfish? Absolutely! But we both know that I don't deserve her for a sister.
"I still have hopes that somebody's gonna sweep you off your feet and make you a wife," she said, re-tying the knot on my forehead like a loving mother, before I swatted her hands away. "One, I just turned sixteen two months ago. Two, I can't fault you for dreaming, but I really need to get a move on here... Is everyone ready?"
"Oh, yes. Mom and Dad are already by the sea with kins… Josh and Camille are in the car by now. And there's Lucy-" She trailed off to pat her flat stomach, "...your invisible entourage for the day. So yes, everybody is waiting for you."
"How sure are you that it's Lucy and not a Lucas?" I asked as we made our way downstairs, Nellie following behind.
"A mother knows these things," she said it like it was some known fact and I was stupid for even asking.
"What if—?" I started, but stopped when I saw the car. Camille and Nellie's husband, Josh, were kissing. In broad daylight, with tongues and hands all over each other. Was it a surprise? No. I'd known for years. Did Nellie know? I wasn't sure, and I didn't want to find out today.
I stopped, and she stopped, looking at me strangely.
"What now?" she asked.
I gave her my best puppy eyes.
She looked horrified. "God, no," she said, stepping back.
"Run away with me. Please," I pleaded.
"Can I at least tell them we won't be taking the car?" she asked, helpless. That was how I got away with everything with her.
"Let's just go," I said, dragging her through the back door and over the fence.
It took us over half an hour to reach the beach. Nellie was exhausted, and I was drenched to the bone. Imagine the look Mama gave me from the audience? Would I regret leaving her? I highly doubted it.
"Mary?" the high priest called for me, bringing my focus to the task at hand. My mission. My ticket out. A wish from God.
"Come forward to be blessed by the God." Said the high priest pointing to where the others knelt all humbly.
I had never attended an awakening ceremony before today. I was young they stressed and It's all hush-hush around here. Partly because its believed that memories are erased shortly after the ceremony, and mostly because it's sacred.
But I was sure you weren't supposed to hear people's cries of torture before being blessed.
Everyone could tell how scared I was with every step. I mean even the Priestess stood at attention.
"Is something wrong?" Shouted Nellie worriedly from the crowd, earning scornful stares from the audience and so, I shook my head at her and forced a smile to calm her.
But I was far from being okay. The voices in my head were deafening, blocking everything else. I couldn't see anything in that state but, I felt things. So much, so fast that I even wished I could cry aloud.
Even without the tears or a pain release. I just wanted to cry! But something was denying me of that. So, I was left in agony.
I'm not sure how long it took in that state but, suddenly I was kneeling with my peers. Who were looking at me funnily.
But, nothing mattered the moment the wave touched me…
I think I saw God.
And she was… not happy.