JINX'S POV
"It doesn't sound crazy, even if it did, it's still bothering you and that's what really matters." He took a step closer.
"Can you remember anything about being Sierra? Her hometown, her friends, her job, anything that can help locate where she lived?"
I took a moment, flipping the memory pages in my head. They were blank. I had no answer to that. The only proof I had of Sierra was my feelings and the flash images that gave me headaches each time.
"No." I looked down. "I don't remember anything else."
He took another step, placing his second hand on my shoulder. His tan still left a yellow glow on his skin.
"Shade, do you know, when you went into a coma, your brain remained somewhat responsive the entire time. Sometimes a coma can be like falling asleep; like slipping into a dream. You were out for a year. That's enough time to dream up an entirely new reality."
"You think I was dreaming?"
"No. I think you shouldn't rule out all the odds because if you really are Sierra then it means… You have been reborn."
He held my gaze; his expression had a clear mix of warmth and worry. I threw my eyes away. He was right, that's what it meant and rebirth was impossible. I scoffed, absentmindedly. I just dawned on me that the fussy memories are the only proof of Sierra's existence.
"Maybe I was dreaming." My tone echoed dejection.
"Here's what's gonna happen," he reached out, held my hand and pulled me up. "While we try to find out how real Sierra is, why don't you try being Jinx?" He pointed at the paved lawn leading gracefully towards the hospital. I let him guide me back inside; assuring him with my quiet demeanour that I would do just that.
Days passed into weeks and soon it was the third month since I woke up. The doctors found nothing else that could fault my recovery so I was discharged. Mr. and Mrs. Shade, my parents took me home. Slowly, I adjusted into being Jinx. After a while, it became absolutely normal and I stopped bothering myself about the Sierra identity.
However, there are just some things ignorance can never get rid of.
********
10 PM
Shade's Villa, Silicon Estate.
Tuesday Morning.
"Jinx, help me wash up these plates will you." Mother beckoned on me from inside the kitchen. I hurried over to her, dipping my hands in the foaming soapy water to join her.
"Remember to wash the back thoroughly." She said, fitting the wiped dishes into her kitchen drawer.
"Yes mother. You should go to bed so you'll be strong enough for that job interview tomorrow."
"Don't mind that. I will help you finish up here, first."
"Mum!" I snapped at her, but childishly. I pouted and feigned an upset face, hoping she would just stop working and rest more. She paused, looked at me and smiled.
"Fine." She whipped her wet hands. "Don't forget to lock the back door." She reminded me, exiting the kitchen. I returned to the dishes, whistling to myself. When I had rounded up there and went to lock the backdoor, the entire house had fallen asleep and only my little footsteps were heard. I chose to tiptoe back into the sitting room, so mum would think I had gone to bed. For some reason the couch was a better relaxing spot for me than the bedroom.
I lay my body on the soft cream coloured couch and rested my head on its arm. Something pricked me.
"Ah." I nudged to the side and sat up immediately. My eyes scanned the couch. The something was sticking out from underneath the head side.
I pulled on it. It fell out, into my palms
'Mum's cell. What's it doing here?'
There was an instant compulsion to hurry upstairs and give it to her but curiosity held my ass down. Mum never let me touch a gadget since I returned. Said I wasn't ready to stare at screens yet. Not after keeping my eyes shut for a year.
I pressed the power button. The screen lit up. It wasn't locked.
My eyes scanned the sitting room, ears twitching to find evidence that someone else was awake. There was none. Relaxed, I turned her data on and raced to the Internet. Moments later, boredom damped me like a wet rat. There was nothing to see, at least not for me.
I sighed and contemplated dropping the phone then a thought stirred up in my mind. I went back to Google and typed Sierra. I knew it was crazy but I just wanted a little more clarity. It pulled up pictures, tons of them. I slapped my forehead, can't believe I forgot thousands of girls bear that name.
I rustled my hair, searching through the foggy memories I had at the hospital, looking for something that might distinguish the Sierra I was looking for from all those girls.
'Sierra Shades; that was the name- I think.'
I typed that. Pictures splashed all over the screen again, far too many pictures.
'Ah, no, the information I have is too little. I need to find more' I shut my eyes for a second. 'Think. There has to be something in else you saw.'
The patches of memory played in my head again. That's when I remembered… the Sierra I was looking for fell off a building and she went to high school, Kim… something memorial high school. I typed it out. 'Sierra Shade falls from a building at Kim Memorial High school'.
I didn't press search instead I just stared at the inscription for a moment.
'I don't know if I am ready for what I will see. But maybe I won't see anything. I'm Jinx. Everything attests to that. I will probably not find anything'. I made a half smile, allowing Google to load up a reply. A search popped up. I scrolled through, reading the headings to myself.
"Sierra wins an award in Kim High school, Sierra to contest the anti-bullying bill in Kim Brook College, Sierra to raise the Kimberly College's new flag."
'These aren't it'.
I rolled my eyes further downwards.
"Sierra wins an Olympic, Sierra Shade committed suici…"
'Wait-'
I scrolled upwards, stopping spot on, on the last thing I read. The headline came up before my eyes. Sierra Shades committed suicide - student claims.
I gulped. My hand that held onto the phone began to tremble.
'No… no… this is… it isn't right."
All the while, the room seemed to get hotter, sweat trickling down my brow.
'Of course it isn't'. I smiled nervously, clicking on the headline. A photo came up on the screen.
My heart stopped.
The trembling worsened. Mum's cell fell off my hands and crashed
on the floor. I covered my parted lips.
'Oh God- it can't be. This… it can't be real'.