"Ha, funny… no! Actually I'm a human and born by woman," he laughed. "I'm glad you like me..."
He stared at me again with adoration, half closing his eyes languidly.
"I can be your handsome daddy," he smirked.
"Do you mean my adoptive father?"
"Yeah, of course."
"Why then does it seem to me that you don't have fatherly feelings for me?"
"I don't have those feelings for you at all!"
"You've completely confused me," I said indignantly. "It's too obvious that you're gay! So will you want me one day as partner?"
"I mean, yes, you are attractive for me, but I won't do anything contrary to you. It's enough for me to see you next to me. I will not touch you against your wishes. Never! I just don't want to scare you away from me with my whims, so that you can always relax with me as a friend. Use me please, as you want, but do not leave me…"
This statement calmed me down a little. Yarison didn't deny his gayness and he promised once again that he would not touch me. He valued me so much that he was ready to tie his specific needs into a knot. What kind of person was he? It's painful to be in love and forbid yourself from trying to caress the object of his passion. Although he never said that he loved me.
"Ok. If you called yourself my father, then Ok."
His face lit up with a satisfied smile. This meant that the only thing that matters to him is my presence as a handsome son. Actually, I don't consider myself handsome: my height is short, about 170-ish and for a man it's quite offensive; most girls prefer taller guys. What a cliché? Why is this so important to them, even for less 160? Isn't your partner's high height suppressing?
If I were a girl, I would be looking for a guy based on spiritual qualities to become a soul mate... It is more comfortable for me to live a happy life. Ah, I again felt sorry for myself that I was the wrong gender. Yarison was such a desirable partner... But he would never pay attention to me in a female form. He likes me the way I am - a fragile young man with large gray eyes, short haircut…
Am I in love with him? No way!
I was suddenly pierced by some foggy memories: this breeze and the bright sun, I stand on the shore somewhere else looking to the see… and I shared my feelings:
"It's... like it's already was to me. Something important happened, but... when?"
"A romantic setting usually evokes a thrill of the soul from the very depths. I know that feeling too." Was a note from Yarison.
"Have you ever fallen in love?"
"Surely…"
"Some guy?" I asked carefully.
"I told you already. It was Ray. We lived and traveled together... how is this possible without love?
"And you... were close? In an intimate sense?"
"Why ask? So it should be clear..."
"Sorry my curiosity…"
I was embarrassed by my stupid questions. Of course, they were…
"No worries. If you are so curious, I can tell you in more details how this happens between the guys."
"Oh, no need," I was taken aback.
"I'm talking about how falling in love occurs. You think this is abnormal, right?"
"No, but I can admit that this is possible between youngsters when they have not yet tired of their feminine features. Before maturity some guys still remain attractive in that way…"
"Well, yes, he was cute, too young… We went together on the sea, transported goods between continents. He was under my command, I hired him as assistant, but I couldn't hold my hands. I seduced him and he accepted my feelings. Everything turned out just easy."
"Did he love you?"
"I'm still not sure…" was the sad answer.
"How so?"
"We got married, I still have our rings."
Yarison showed me two exquisite star shaped gold jewellery with single shiny blue and white crystals on top.
"Two falling stars?" Came suddenly in my mind. "So beautiful and romantic! Seems expensive!"
"Yes, right! Sapphire and diamond… But he cheated me!"
"O-oh, why?" I exclaimed in surprise. "How did this happen?"
"You know… some my rich relative suddenly fell in love with Ray, actually being straight, started courting him and seduced."
"Ow, I feel sorry then… I can imagine how was it so painful."
"It is!" His eyes flashed. "Then was another men."
"But how could he do this to you? Did he himself admit to cheating?"
"Well… yeah! He didn't feel deep guilty at all, blaming his cute appearance. He had long dark hair, bright eyes, angelic face…"
"And what happened next?"