The next day, my eyes looked puffy and sore—like I'd spent the entire night fighting ghosts or crying over expired milk.Every hour of sleeplessness left a stamp on my face. My reflection basically said:"Congrats, you look like a sad panda who lost a custody battle."
All night, my brain held a full-on wrestling match with itself.One second I was hyping myself up: You're fine, you're normal.The next, I was spiraling: You're doomed. Move to another country. Change your name to Potato.I even tried blaming last night's feelings on some old romance movie leaking into my dreams.Maybe I'd inhaled too much dramatic air.
"He isn't important," I repeated like a broken robot."You don't like him. Not like that."
But of course, one annoying question kept stabbing through the lies:
Why him?Seriously. Why him, out of the thirty-five humans in class?Why not someone safely uninteresting? Someone bland? Someone I couldn't accidentally develop feelings for?
I decided it was pure overthinking—my greatest enemy—and made a plan:
Step 1: Ignore him.Step 2: Pretend nothing happened.Step 3: Become emotionally invincible.Easy.
Or so I thought.
But fate—nosy, dramatic, absolutely unnecessary fate—had other plans.
When I reached school, I looked like I'd barely survived a midnight adventure. Meanwhile, he was probably somewhere laughing with friends, eating breakfast, adjusting his hair like he didn't just ruin my life twenty-four hours ago.His total lack of awareness sparked something in me—anger? shame? jealousy?Honestly, it was probably all three mashed into one emotional smoothie.
Still, I went into class early, trying to act normal.I joked around.I smiled.I even laughed at jokes that weren't funny.
For a moment, I thought—wow, look at you, being normal like a functional human.Everything felt okay.
Then the door opened.
He walked in.
He didn't do anything dramatic. No slow-motion hair flip. No cheesy movie smirk.He just entered, like a normal person.
But apparently the sunlight decided to hit his face like a spotlight, and my stupid lungs forgot how to breathe again.
My eyes drifted toward him instantly—traitors, absolute traitors—and I couldn't snatch them back fast enough.My expression twisted into something between "confused gremlin" and "caught-in-4K."
He noticed.Of course he did.
He paused and tilted his head a little before quietly asking:
"Why… are you looking at me like that? Did I do something? Are you mad at me?"
Mad?At him?I was mad at myself, the universe, gravity—anything but him.
I wanted to answer.I really did.But the words clogged up in my throat, forming emotional traffic jams.So I just inhaled sharply, looked away, and slumped into my chair like a dying potato.
But he wasn't fooled.Nobody in our group would be. We'd known each other for years—shared games, fights over snacks, every stupid event imaginable. Secrets in our class had a lifespan of 8 minutes.
Throughout the day, he kept glancing at me with this anxious look, like he was trying to solve a mystery:
Was she angry?Was she sick?Did a ghost possess her?Did she lose a bet?
He definitely didn't jump to the "romantic feelings" conclusion.No, apparently that was too logical.
His confused looks made my chest twist tighter each time.Eventually, he got tired of figuring me out and retreated into his own thoughts—probably planning to interrogate me later.
And then the days repeated.Me pretending to be normal.Him sensing something was wrong.Both of us stuck in a quiet weirdness with no name.
Finally, I stopped lying to myself.
I had fallen for him.Deeply.Stupidly.Disastrously.
And I still didn't know why.
To make it worse—my close friend had confessed she liked him two years ago. Back then, I practically yelled at her that he wasn't worth it."That guy? Seriously? No way," I had said.
Well.Now look at me.Crushing on the same person I once declared "emotionally irrelevant."
The shame was so intense it felt like I swallowed an entire cactus.
If she found out?If ANYONE found out?My social life would end.Friendships? Ruined.Reputation? Buried.Me? Moving to the mountains and becoming a hermit.
So I sealed every feeling deep inside.
Nobody would know.Ever.
But just when I convinced myself I could keep it hidden forever…
Well… fate wasn't done being dramatic.