Chapter 9 — I Have Many Secrets, but I Won't Tell You, I Won't Tell You
[Not to mention, the murder methods they invent rely way too much on luck. If anyone actually tried them in the real world, they'd be caught within minutes. You could say these methods only "work in theory" inside anime, but have absolutely no practical value in real life.]
[What's even more important is that, in a certain country from my original world, there was an old saying: "A dark night and strong wind are the best time to kill."]
[When committing murder, shouldn't the best approach be destroying the evidence and eliminating all traces?]
[If no one ever discovers the crime, isn't that the most perfect outcome?]
[But in the world of Detective Conan, it's as if every criminal has something wrong with their brain. Rather than killing in secret, they insist on committing the crime openly, right in front of others, and even ensure that the body is found immediately afterward.]
[It's like they're afraid that people won't know the killer is among them.]
[As if they're worried the police won't be able to narrow down the suspects.]
[I truly don't understand why these criminals are so obsessed with creating alibis. Is it really that important?]
[Is killing someone quietly, disposing of the body, and tossing it into the sea really that hard? Isn't that the best alibi of all?]
[What's even funnier is that some criminals clearly know Mōri Kogorō is present at the scene, yet they still choose to commit the murder there. Some even ask him to act as their alibi witness!]
[Honestly, sometimes I suspect these criminals don't actually care about revenge or murder. They simply want to challenge Kogorō and the police.]
[If that weren't the case, who in their right mind would commit murder out in the open and ensure the body is discovered immediately?]
[If they were truly intelligent, all they'd need to do is wait for time itself to erase the evidence.]
[A few years, or even decades later, when the body is discovered, it would just be bones, and all evidence would have vanished long ago. How could the police solve such a case?]
[If only one or two criminals behaved like this, maybe it would still make sense. But no—almost all criminals in that anime do the same thing.]
[So yes, I genuinely believe the people in Detective Conan's world have something wrong with their heads.]
[Take the café murder case, for example.]
[Seriously! What kind of sane person commits murder in a café?!]
[It's not even a terrorist attack!]
[The most absurd one is Tonoyama Juzō—this guy is truly insane. He actually thought he could make an alibi and escape suspicion.]
[How badly damaged must his brain be to kill his lover in a café, and in such a ridiculous way at that?]
[After stabbing the victim's cardiac artery, Himeno Yayoi's blood sprayed everywhere, flooding the floor instantly.]
[If anyone went into the restroom, they'd immediately see the blood. A normal person would scream or call the police.]
[The only person who wouldn't panic after seeing something like that would be the murderer.]
[So the person who entered the restroom before anyone else, saw the blood, and didn't scream or report it—that person must be the killer.]
[And the person who entered before everyone else… was Tonoyama Juzō.]
[Even logic this simple was overlooked by Kisaki Eri, a supposed genius lawyer.]
[I guess the anime writer had to "nerf" her intelligence for the plot.]
[Or maybe she just got dragged into Conan's logic vortex.]
[Either way, that episode was one of the dumbest in all of Detective Conan.]
[Overall, the anime is just a repeated cycle of "complicated cases" that are actually pretty stupid.]
[There's really nothing worth spoiling.]
[The only things that might be interesting to talk about are where Kudō Shinichi went and who the leader of the Black Organization is.]
[But I'm not telling Ran those things either.]
[So I'd rather not mention them at all.]
The heroines from all across the merged anime worlds rolled their eyes at the same time.
They had to admit—
Hayashi Rin was right.
The criminals in the Detective Conan world really did seem mentally unwell.
If the purpose of creating an alibi is to escape suspicion, then why kill publicly?
Why kill in front of others?
Why kill in a way that guarantees discovery?
Their motives and actions contradicted each other completely.
Anyone acting like that clearly had serious issues.
So yes—what Hayashi Rin said made perfect sense.
It wasn't "revenge," "jealousy," or "anger."
Their real purpose was to challenge Kogorō and the police.
Otherwise, no sane person would act like that.
Just then, a melody suddenly echoed from the Diary—
A man's voice began singing.
[I have horns on my head, and a tail behind me,]
[No one knows, I have so many secrets.]
[I'm a Little Blue Dragon, with many tiny secrets,]
[I'm a Little Blue Dragon, with many tiny secrets.]
[I have lots of secrets, but I won't tell you,]
[Won't tell you, won't tell you.]
The song, combined with Hayashi Rin's mischievous singing voice coming from the Diary, created an atmosphere that was both infuriating and comical.
All the heroines holding Diary Copies burst out laughing.
They all thought the same thing—
"Ran must be furious right now."
Suzuki Sonoko and Toyama Kazuha immediately grabbed Ran again.
"Ran! Calm down, please calm down!"
Sonoko cried out,
"Ran, if you keep smashing things like this, my house will go bankrupt!"
Kazuha glanced at the Diary and thought to herself,
This guy is seriously asking for death… Why would he provoke Ran on purpose like this? Is he not afraid of being kicked into oblivion?
Meanwhile, the Diary continued updating.
— — —
[Besides, personally, I'm not very optimistic about the romance between Ran and Kudo Shinichi.]
[Before I transmigrated into this world, the anime already had over a thousand episodes, yet their relationship went nowhere.]
[Because Kudo Shinichi is the type of person who values cases more than his girlfriend. In his eyes, no woman is more important than a murder case.]
[Whenever he encounters a new case, his brain shuts off. He forgets everything else, and as a result, he repeatedly puts Ran in dangerous situations.]
[And not just Ran—her best friends, Suzuki Sonoko and Toyama Kazuha, have been dragged into numerous life-and-death crises as well.]
[If they weren't protected by heroine protagonist luck, all three of them would've died dozens of times already.]
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