The shift between the real world and the holy space caused both a visual and a primal sensation to roar through my body. The intensity of it shook down to my very bones. My blood stung and hissed through the abrupt change, and instinct called for something I smothered to a shiver that existed somewhere between pain and pleasure. As the thrill faded, I saw the scenery had changed. The uniform houses with small useless gardens to decorate had instantly transformed into tree-speckled mountains. The heat of the oppressive summer was replaced by crisper air.
Leaning back in my bumpy seat, a sigh escaped as I pinched the bridge of my nose. Some of my dry, leafless hair scraped against my wrist. Nausea bubbled in my stomach and sent acid to the top of my throat, where I would just taste it on my tongue. It twisted my stomach and caused a lump and burn through my chest to my mouth. There was nothing for it. Not that I would have been given any medicine if there were any to take, so I simply had to suffer through slight discomfort.
I closed my eyes and pictured the train, trying to remember where they said the bathroom was. I'd rather not be sick all over the floor. The car already smelled a little strange, even though my handlers and I were the only ones on the train.
It seemed like it only took a second from breaching the holy space's boundaries to the sound of the train's engines dying down, signaling we'd reached the station. I could feel the train lowering.
The station we'd stopped at was rather pathetic-looking, with boards clumsily nailed down or sticking up in hazardous positions, with nails clearly visible. The sound of heels clicking against the floor of the train had me quickly reaching for my lightweight traveling bag and throwing it over my shoulder.
The caladrius smiled as he motioned for me to stand. I allowed him to feel like he was leading me out of the tiny train, for both our sakes. He felt like he actually had a job to do, and I felt like I was being forced to my next prison. It's not like I'd ever had any real choice in my future, but it was this or the chance of getting sent to the front lines or being thrown in the streets to die.
I'd done a good job of screwing up my life to this point. I should see this as a last-chance miracle instead of a punishment.
The air of the holy space had that spring taste to it, though with more variety of living things hidden in its swirls than I'd ever tasted.
"Thank you for bringing the newest member of our wonderful holy land of Four Seasons," said a slightly squeaky voice. I looked up from where I'd been staring at the ground, and then I looked back down. The squeaky voice came from someone in a typical, almost stereotypical, town gatherer uniform, all buttoned-up jacket with a tweed hat and a cane. He even had the Four Seasons crest pinned to his left pocket. "Welcome, Ni! I'm here to introduce and welcome you to your new home."
The official clapped my lower back, making me jump in surprise. I almost glared at the brownie, but I quickly stared down at the ground instead. My frown twisted hard, as I saw the disappointed look on the town gatherer's face from the corner of my eyes. The problem was, I wasn't a jerk, just a loser. In all honesty, it made a sort of weird sense that a brownie would become the Town Gatherer of a pocket space, or even a holy space, in this instance. I had learned quickly enough that judging people by their species was part of what left me in the state I was in now. I wasn't looking down on him or his choice of profession. I just didn't want to be touched anymore.
No matter how anyone meant it when they did so. But how did I tell him, or anyone else, that?
"Please, follow me to your new home," said the Town Gatherer. His little legs started to move quickly. I found myself just able to keep up with him, as he seemed to cover more space than even his quick steps seemed to imply. I frowned a little. I didn't interact much, if at all, with any brownies before this, so I wasn't quite sure how their magic affected them beyond what I'd picked up through conversations and some media I'd consumed. Of course, some of that knowledge had probably been lost in the haze of drugs that had defined the last few years of my life.
"My name is Louis. I'll be overseeing your integration here. If you ever need any support or help, please find me. I help and check in with all our permanent members here at Four Seasons, and I sure do hope you'll be able to thrive here. If you can't find me during the day, you can usually find me in the local Tavern at night," said the brownie, his squeaky little voice somehow booming. He then chuckled to himself. His laugh was richer and deeper than most I'd heard or thought would come from someone so small. "I know that adjusting can be particularly difficult for nymphs when they move to a space like ours, especially after living in the city. At the very least, I can introduce you to the locals."
I hummed, pushing at my sunglasses. I'd been told that no one in Four Seasons knew my actual species, but honestly, I hadn't really believed it. Was it because I was so pathetic that even the government didn't want to advertise that I was sylvan? Still, my parents were nymphs, and really, nymphs and sylvan were easily confused with each other. Especially when the sylvan was sickly and hiding their eyes.
Perhaps it would be best to try and connect with the nymphs living here. I could even blend in as long as I kept my sunglasses on. This place was apparently partly used as rehabilitation for those creatures who fell through the holes in society and needed a place to live as they got their lives started again.
It didn't seem to take long walking through an overgrown path through the forest before we stopped at a pathetic-looking shack surrounded by trees. It had a small sign next to it that named it "Sunshine Farms".
My new home.
I took a moment to look around. My new home was a tangle of woods overrun with growing weeds and all sorts of undergrowth. No field insight. A headache started to trickle from between my eyes to my ears as I stared at the overgrown mess around me. I knew that this holy place grew plants, including crops, faster than back on Earth, but this disaster seemed like it had come from more than just two weeks of neglect.
"Ray was more of a fisher than a farmer," said brownie. A slight edge to Louis's tone, a fondness in his voice when he said Ray's name had my fingers beating a rhythm beating against my leg in worry. "He was a good guy, but apparently, they needed this land for the farming. It is quite fertile if I do say so myself. Though, of course, you have some restrictions."
I mechanically looked in the direction that he pointed at the mention of restrictions. There the land was marked off by a long rock wall, about twice the height that I was. Impressive but ugly with how its magic cut through the holy space.
"The wall ensures that no cross-pollination happens. Charge also switches work crews so often that not even I always have the record of who's working there from day to day, not that you'll see those workers outside the Charge store or farm very often," said Louis, a deep frown on his face as he glared at the rock wall. "They even have a place they all sleep in there. Never seen it myself."
"I know how Charge works," I muttered, then noticed the brownie look at where I'd unconsciously clutched at my right arm. I blushed, not meeting his eyes. My gaze quickly returned, so I was glaring at the ground.
"Charge the reason you're under a substance ban?" asked Louis. I tried not to flinch at his words.
"Ah, well, it was a choice, and it wasn't like I hadn't…" I trailed off, not sure how to continue. The psychologists had me spilling my guts the last few months but that had been mandated. I'd had to talk to them in order to leave that lifeless, miserable place. Here, I didn't have to, but this was also probably the creature that could send me back in a flash if he thought I was falling back into bad habits. It didn't help that he seemed to already resent me, at least a little, for kicking his friend out of my new home. "So, I mean, I'm in the middle of a rivalry from what I was able to understand."
"Charge is able to meet many needs here in Four Seasons that would be left unfulfilled if they were not present, but its treatment of its employees and its apparent disregard of how these holy spaces can be respectively cultivated and sustained worries me. As an elected official, I see it as a privilege to inspire you in trying to support a more reverent use of our land through this government-sponsored program," said Louis with a smile. At least he was on my side in this case. I just had to do my job and maybe he wouldn't hate me. I could deal with resentment; wasn't like I hadn't dealt with it before.
I wanted to ask if Ray still lived in this holy space, but I didn't dare ask in case the answer was that he had to leave and go back to Earth proper.
"Anyway, let me show you how this works. I'm sure you'll want to get yourself comfortable in your new home before the sun completely sets," said the brownie. He quickly walked to a giant box next to the house. He took a gold ring out of his pocket, held it up for me to see, opened the box, put in the ring, closed the box, opened it, and the ring had disappeared. "This is how you'll send me anything you wish to pass to the government. Not just your plants, they'll take everything from chopped wood to minerals. There is a list of things that they will not pay for right here. The amount of gold you get will unfortunately change, but I honestly don't understand why. You'll only know what you'll get if you're paid. Not fair, but how it works with them."
"I have to farm though?" I asked, unable to stop the question from falling from my lips
The brownie reached into his pocket and took out a small bag. "Every month you'll be asked to grow some amount of a crop. They'll start you easily, and this month you even get the seeds. After this, you'll have to purchase them yourself, but there's a variety of seeds available to be sold here from both the Charge store and our local Healthy Living Store."
There was an irony there that I might have to buy from the Charge store. Still, the way they worked, they'd sell to me despite our past, and they wouldn't even try to sabotage me. They were more about using their own places and people until they were bled dry than actively sabotaging their competition. This is why they'd probably been able to get such a corner on the market without the government having an excuse to take over at least part of their business.
"These are radishes. From what I understand, they're simple enough to grow in the spring. You only have to send ten through the box in order to meet the quota this month, and you have fifty seeds. As a nymph, that should be more than enough. You should even leave more to trade and eat," said the brownie, puffing up his chest proudly for some reason.
I nodded. Honestly, while there'd always been pressure to be something great, I'd never been expected to actually do much with plants besides what was required for school. I knew the theory behind how to grow things, and I'd even received a little coaching about how I could keep a farm during rehab. Thankfully, they'd even taught me how to clean an area to make it garden and then farm-ready.
Still, the everything that was the holy space was starting to get overwhelming. The taste of Sunshine was a lot more complicated than I ever imagined. I was starting to feel as if my senses would be inundated with how rich everything was.
"Um, Ni, wasn't it?" asked the Town Gatherer, making me jump a little and turn back to him, only lowering my eyes the last second as I self-consciously pushed up my sunglasses, making sure they were firmly in place. I'd successfully hidden my eyes for months, and the therapists had confirmed that it was best for my mental health if I could pretend to be a nymph. Considering how people treated me when they learned I was sylvan, I heartily agreed.
"Yes, sorry, I was trying to figure out what to tackle first," I said with a smile, forcing myself to look up a little. I'd figure it out. It had been the drugs and the lack of self-care that came with them that lost me the job at Charge in the first place. Also, being stuck in a warehouse while taking enhancing drugs so that I continuously revitalize crops for Charge could sell them at a premium of whatever. It had been a bad cycle that shouldn't be easy to fall into when I had a proper farm to work on and no drugs being pushed to enhance my natural magic.
"Ah well, before you get comfortable, I should let you know about a few more things," said Louis. "I'll make it quick. The tools of the trade are in your house. They came with the house, but Ray used them so they might be some wear and tear, but they should be in a good enough state to use. Cora said she'd stop by tomorrow to look over Ray's old place so she can give you an estimate on how much it'll take to fix it up."
I looked over at the shack that this Ray had apparently lived in. Once again, even for how quickly everything was supposed to grow and change in this holy space, it was hard to believe that a month or however long Ray had been gone would cause this much damage. It looked like a hurricane had hit the shack. I was pretty sure there was a hole in the roof, and it looked more like an ax had been taken to the porch than trees or bushes had grown through it.
Louis didn't give any indication that he noticed my looking over, or that the shack looked like one good windstorm would knock it over. Had this Ray actually been living in this place? Had Ray caused much distraction to it before leaving and this was as much approval as he could give his old friend? The damage to the outside of the building looked more like it was from neglect so much I was being paranoid about the porch. Had he just owned the house but spent his time elsewhere and that explained the state of disrepair?
Why did Louis sound so sad then? Did he have to leave the holy space?
"Here is your pad," said the Town Gatherer, making me jump a little as he shoved a tablet into my hand. "You know how to use this?"
"I know enough," I said, checking it quickly before immediately turning it off when it dinged and asked me to set it up. I would do that once I was alone. I hadn't used one so advanced before, but I should be able to figure it out with the help of the internet.
"And, uh," suddenly the brownie looked downright nervous. Honestly, this was how I'd imagined a brownie would act. More of a nervous subservient sort of feel to him instead of one where he's dropped in the mantle of leadership to this small pocket space. "I know that nymphs are able to grow into what they want… or… well… the gender, I suppose, and I'm afraid that…"
"Oh," I said, genuinely surprised. The Town Gatherer looked at me with a slight frown that had me looking away. Everyone had just known my gender for so long that I'd just sort of gone with it because presenting as male, though not a hypermasculine one like everyone had wanted, had just been what had been easiest. Plus, I had other things weighing on my mind to care about. After all, it wasn't that important in the whole scheme of things. After using all my strength to sustain my body. I looked even more androgynous, especially with the pale blue clothes supplied by the rehab.
After all, a lot of races used clothes to indicate gender and such. "Um, he and him is fine."
"Right, good," said Louis. "We hope to see you in town tomorrow or sometime this week. We hope as a new long-term member of this community that you'll introduce yourself to our community. I think I might have mentioned it, but we only have less than a hundred long-term residents. It's a tight-knit community, and I'm sure you'll quickly form friendships here."
"Right," I said with a nod, and a forced smile while I looked slightly to the side. Thankfully, the brownie took that moment to excuse himself.
With a sigh, I turned on my heels to see my new, pathetic place. I tried to remind myself that at least, from the outside, I'd probably lived in worse-looking apartments. It was already starting to get dark, and my stomach was growling. Since I had only been given seeds, I didn't think I'd be getting any free food. So, I only had the depressing shack to check.
Carefully, I made my way onto the old shack porch. The boards groaned under my feet, as I walked carefully on the stairs. I touched the railing, which shook under just that little bit of pressure. I quickly snatched my hand back in alarm.
Right, well, someone was going to come over to look over the shack the next day. Still, Louis had mentioned something about her making an estimate on repairs, so she wouldn't probably fix anything that day. All the funds and personal belongings either that had gone into my habit or to pay for my stay in the rehab clinic. I was completely broke. I supposed by gathering the materials around my new land, I might be able to earn some funds. The problem was how many random bits from the ground would earn and that would fund fixing the shack and buying some food in the next couple of days.
The door was loose on its hinges and squeaked when I opened it. I could just make out that the inside was small and cramped with barely any furnishing. Most of the said furnishings had been destroyed. I walked over and ran my hand first over the fluff that was falling out of a mattress. Ray had not left in good spirits or temper. I leaned my weight on the bed and knew the frame had been damaged as well. Not so much I couldn't use it, but to the point that the bed wasn't going to be comfortable to sleep in. He also hadn't left any bedding. Not even a mattress cover or pillow.
The rest of the shack was in a similar state. It seemed Ray hadn't been very good with the ax he'd swung around the cottage, as the holes in the floor and wall were mostly surface-level. The problem was the more delicate things he'd taken his anger out on like the lone light on the ceiling had been smashed, and the small window at the back of the shack had no glass. Then there was the glass from the broken plastic from the smashed television all over the floor.
Of all the things he could have left, I was a bit surprised he hadn't tried to take it, but maybe he simply wasn't that interested in the old model and wanted to use it to mock me.
In the left-back corner of the shack was a dented, but intact, workstation. The ax had been left on the table. Its blade was chipped, but it was still usable. Hopefully, I could combine it with my magic, and it would last long enough to earn enough money to replace it. There was also a hoe that had been chopped in half and then taped back together, a dented watering can that I found a few small holes in so it leaked water. Somehow, the pickax was almost untouched.
These had been tools the rehab people had told me that I would get, so Rya had probably been forced to leave these and even fix them to the best of his abilities.
With a sigh and a shake of my head, I left the shack to take a quick wall around the shack. I found where there was once was an outhouse but now there were only remains of a wall, and a tree grew through it. Thankfully the well was intact, and the water wasn't poisoned or dirty. I drank greedily. I'd never tasted anything like this before. The physical exhaustion was even worth it. Not even the bottled water my mom had gotten me when I'd still been worth something to her had tasted so filling.
My stomach roiled uncomfortably, and I forced myself to stop drinking. Still, the rumbling in my stomach had abated quite a bit, and I had a feeling that being in the sun the next morning would stretch my need for food even further. I wouldn't still have to gather enough to eat, and I couldn't stop completely, but in the right environment, even nymphs could comfortably go a few days only drinking water and taking in the sun.
For a moment I stood under this world's moon. Just tasting the rawness and crispness of it all on my tongue, breathing it in like the most exquisite drug, and I needed that high. Maybe the therapist had been right. Maybe this would help with the cravings. They were always there. That little itch, those little fantasies. They weren't always nice, and they weren't always about feeling good, but they were always just so tempting.
Then I carefully walked back up to the porch. I peeled off my clothes down to my underwear and hung them on the porch, hopefully, some of the fresh air would make them less disgusting. I had two sets of clothes and washing and all that was going to be tricky.
Still, I went and sat down on the mattress, setting the pad up and letting out a sigh of relief when it showed it was charging. At least the power worked. I then took that moment to close my eyes, curl up on the bed as best I could, and fall into an uneasy sleep.