Where's my harem? Can I ask that? Huh?!
My friend finally transmigrated into the world of Naruto. If I don't flirt with the local native girls, am I supposed to flirt with someone disguised like you?
If I really had that kind of interest, why wouldn't I just go hang out with cosplayers?
Hiss… cosplayers… actually sounds kind of nice?
Ahem!
After sorting through the chaotic thoughts in his head, Naruto opened his mouth—then suddenly didn't know what to say.
"I'll explain everything in detail later," Sakura interrupted Naruto's incantation-like rambling and gestured for Sasuke to introduce himself.
Kakashi scratched his eyebrow, looking at the two of them with an increasingly strange expression.
He had expected to hear Naruto's lofty ambitions, or the lingering emotions of a young girl newly fallen in love.
But what stood before him now didn't look like a freshly graduated student at all—rather, it felt like an irritable, old-school ninja on the same level as himself.
This doesn't match what the Hokage told me.
Did I miss something?
In this odd atmosphere, the four of them introduced themselves. Sasuke's talk of revenge sounded oddly irrelevant amid everyone's silence.
Kakashi fell into deep frustration.
Not only was Mingying utterly indifferent throughout the entire process, but when he announced that tomorrow would be a wilderness survival exercise, he repeatedly emphasized the extremely high elimination rate and even threatened them, saying they were not allowed to eat breakfast—or he would make them vomit.
Naruto rubbed his nose, then said as if awakening from a dream, "Wow, that sounds like a terrifying mission! I have absolutely no idea what will happen tomorrow!"
Sakura tidied her hair and nodded in agreement. "This is a test of love—so nerve-wracking!" She deliberately shot a glance at Sasuke.
Among the four, only Sasuke looked tense from start to finish, his hands clenched tightly into fists, fingers turning white.
Kakashi scratched his eyebrow again. Something about this really didn't feel right…
Before long, Team Seven disbanded.
Mingying found a secluded spot. She paused, then said calmly,
"Sasuke is very likely a native. I've observed the other major characters—there are no signs that they've been possessed."
"What we can confirm now is that the two of us have taken on the roles of the male and female protagonists."
Naruto was slightly startled. "You've thought this through very carefully."
"Exactly. Now we need to figure out the rules of time travel. If this is a group transmigration, then the Naruto storyline will be completely overturned—and both of us could die."
"That's impossible," Naruto said nervously. "I'm a jinchūriki. Even without Six Paths power in the early stages, I still have the Nine-Tails to save my life. Saving you shouldn't be a problem either, right?"
Sakura shook her head. "It's not that simple. It's like Elden Ring's multiplayer mode. In single-player, you can do whatever you want. In multiplayer, though, there are veteran tricksters everywhere, and it's hard to protect yourself. What's more, you and I are the protagonists."
Hearing this, Naruto frowned deeply.
It wasn't that Sakura's logic was wrong—it was the example she used…
Elden Ring? Have you ever seen a female player of hardcore single-player games who can even catch her breath?
In Naruto's twenty years in his previous life, the only thing he'd seen online was Ziyu beating Sekiro bosses flawlessly, without taking a scratch.
"Cough—tell me the truth," Naruto said, eyeing Sakura suspiciously. "Are you biologically male but psychologically female?"
Considering Sakura had just mentioned she came from Sichuan and Chongqing.
You know, Sichuan and Chongqing aren't just full of beautiful women—they're also famous for producing a certain kind of… '0' female creature.
"What, are you questioning my gender?" Sakura raised an eyebrow. "From a biological standpoint, does being female mean I can't play Elden Ring?"
"Of course not. Are you trying to play the dark horse role?"
"Mm. I even specifically bought the collector's edition… but this isn't the time to talk about that, right?"
"Yeah," Naruto forced himself to refocus, though the image of a bearded man unbiddenly surfaced in his mind.
Tsk tsk. Hard to say.
But that wasn't important. If someone was willing to buy the collector's edition of a hardcore game, they had to be a good person—right?
Naruto asked, "So what's your plan now?"
Sakura replied, "I'll focus on training my super strength as soon as possible and learn some self-defense skills. You'd better hurry up and negotiate with the Nine-Tails—collect some rent."
"That just accelerates the process."
"Yes. We have to race against time. But at the same time, we need to follow the plot as closely as possible, so we can always stay informed."
"Ah."
Sakura nodded and continued, "That's enough for now. We shouldn't stay together for too long. You're a jinchūriki—the Third Hokage might send people to monitor you."
"So cautious," Naruto clicked his tongue. "By the way, if I build friendly 'intimate' relationships with other female ninja in the future, you won't mind, right?"
Sakura said expressionlessly, "Is that all you men think about when you transmigrate through time?"
"Tsk, don't be so rigid. I can help you pick up Sasuke, Sai, and Kakashi too."
Sakura glared at Naruto fiercely. "Bastard!"
Naruto spread his hands helplessly. "Sis, you don't have a virginity complex, do you?"
Sakura replied coldly, "I think that's meaningless. Instead of thinking about that, we should be thinking about how to survive here."
After saying this, she turned to leave.
"Hey, wait!"
"What?"
"What about tomorrow's exercise? Can I borrow the Nine-Tails' chakra and play around with Kakashi?"
"Is that necessary?" Sakura turned back. "You just step on the traps first thing tomorrow, then we repeat the process. Once we draw Kakashi away, we finish the rest of the work and put the bells on."
"Smart!" Naruto grinned and gave a thumbs-up. "But I really want to fight Kakashi. After all, in my previous life, I never fought anyone."
Sakura thought for a moment. "If you want to fight, then fight. We're following the process anyway."
"Got it."
That night.
After finishing his instant noodles, Naruto sat cross-legged on the bed, his mind heavy with thoughts.
In a daze, he realized his body was slowly sinking. The surrounding space grew damp, accompanied by dripping water and bursts of cold wind.
Naruto opened his eyes, curiously scanning his surroundings as he walked forward.
Soon, he arrived before a towering gate. He vaguely sensed a heavy presence pressing toward him, carrying a faint fishy smell.
Looking ahead, Naruto said calmly, "Stop pretending to sleep. Let's talk."
"ROAR—"
A deafening roar echoed as enormous crimson eyes snapped open, and the creature slowly approached Naruto.
"Brat, why are you disturbing my sleep?"
The Nine-Tails' heavy voice reverberated through the confined space, stirring up the surroundings.
Naruto said, "I'll come see you tomorrow. Please lend me some chakra then."
The Nine-Tails narrowed its massive eyes slightly. "Why should I listen to you?"
"Because only I can help you break the seal," Naruto chuckled softly. "Deal. You give me chakra, I give you freedom."
"Brat, do you think your lies are clever?"
"First, I'm not a kid. My name is Uzumaki Naruto—you'd better remember that."
"Second, believe it or not, I have nothing to lose."
With that, Naruto turned and left without looking back, his thoughts quickly returning to reality.
Perhaps because of the transmigration, Naruto could clearly feel that his control over his own soul was far stronger than the original Naruto's had been.
The Nine-Tails fell silent, savoring Naruto's words.
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All the fanfiction is 30-chapter ahead but this "A Witty Life in the Naruto World" is 30 chapters ahead there