The next day, Abdullah came into school as usual.
During history class, he noticed something strange. one of his classmates Jacquis was called out of the room. No explanation, just a quiet knock on the door and then he was gone.
Abdullah didn't think much of it at first.
Later on, though, he heard that Adrian from his own base class had also been pulled out during the same period.
Still… Abdullah brushed it off.
Later that day, he found Agim.
"Who was it that wanted to jump you, by the way?" Abdullah asked.
"Someone from my base class… and yours."
Abdullah paused.
"From my base class?" he repeated. "Who from my base class is it? I can't think of anyone."
"You wouldn't expect this guy. Try and think."
"I don't know, just tell me."
Agim looked at him.
"Adrian."
Abdullah frowned.
"What? The guy who was meowing at me? That small scrawny guy's bullying you? your like twice his size," Abdullah thought to himself, confused.
Agim continued.
"Basically, Jacquis is Adrian's friend. Eire made a picture with them two and some of their friends, with a pride flag in the background. Then the picture got leaked and the blame was put on me."
"That's mad though… Adrian? Like who'd expect that?"
Agim just looked at him.
"There's a lot you wouldn't know, Abdullah."
"Huh?"
Agim walked off.
Abdullah stood there for a moment, then later found himself thinking about it again.
They really made that big of a deal over something like that?
The next couple of days went by as usual.
Abdullah went to BJJ one day and noticed Erop wasn't there. He stood around for a bit, waiting, unsure what to do without his usual partner.
"Yo, aren't you gonna come?" Abdullah asked when he finally saw him.
"Nah man, I'm too busy for BJJ now."
"So you're quitting? Who's gonna be my partner?"
"Go with someone else."
But it wasn't the same.
Not really.
Abdullah ended up quitting BJJ afterwards.
Wake up.School.Home.Eat.Talk to Cassie.Sleep.
Wake up.
Every day is the same, Abdullah thought to himself. Every single day.
Every day is the ### same.
"heyy Cassie, ughh man these days have been so ### boring lately," Abdullah texted.
"I know right, can't wait till Easter though. Just have to survive March."
The days continued.
Abdullah started going straight to his room the second he got home from school, dropping onto his bed without thinking.
The only time he really went out anymore was for soccer training.
Even then—
He wasn't really there.
He followed the drills, moving with the rhythm, doing the bare minimum.
His eyes stayed low, fixed on the ground.
He zoned out.
"Hey, c'mon, keep the head up," the coach said.
Abdullah snapped out of it for a moment.
Then drifted again.
After training, his mom picked him and his brother up.
Abdullah sat slouched in the seat, staring out the window.
"Hey, what's wrong?" his mother asked.
"Hey sad face, why you making such a sad face?" she added, laughing at her own joke.
"Real funny one, mom," Ali said sarcastically.
"I'm just tired," Abdullah replied.
That was all.
The second he got home, he went straight to his room and lay down.
His phone buzzed.
Cassie.
"omggg I got new huzz today he's actually so cute"
She sent a snap of herself smiling.
Abdullah looked at it for a second.
"Oh that's nice," he replied.
"Hey, everything good? You seem a bit off," Cassie asked.
"No it's fine."
"Okk don't lie to me, be happy happy ok."
Abdullah smiled slightly.
"Ok I'll be happy happy."
The next day, Abdullah's father called him downstairs.
"Come sit with us."
His phone was taken away.
Abdullah sat down, choosing a spot slightly away from everyone else.
"What's wrong with you? Talk to everyone," his father said. "Always hiding in your room all day. Ever think about spending time with family?"
"It's good to spend time " his mother added.
"Yea," Abdullah said.
That was all he said.
He stayed quiet, just watching.
His dad was yelling at Ali—as usual.
Ali yelled back.
His mom started yelling at his dad for yelling at Ali.
Zara and Aaliyah were fighting over something pointless.
The whole room was loud. Chaotic.
They're like cavemen, Abdullah thought.
And then there's me.
Separate.
Cassie's the only one who gets me.
One day, Abdullah came home from school and tried to talk to Cassie.
"yo"
Three minutes later—
"hey buddy you there"
A few more minutes passed—
"earth to Cassie is bro still alive"
No reply.
Abdullah stared at the screen.
She must be busy or something…
Feels weird.
I guess I really do talk to her a lot… it's only been 20 minutes.
He opened other chats.
Scrolled.
Stopped.
There was no one he actually wanted to text.
All my friends…
I guess they're just friends sometimes.
He checked again.
Still nothing.
And then his thoughts started to drift.
She cares though.
I hope.
Nah, Cassie cares about me.
Does anyone else though? Tomek… Agim… John… Erop… Jan… Nadeem… Alois…
Does anyone even care about me?
What if I just disappeared… would they even notice I was gone?
He remembered something.
His mother's words, the day Big Nano passed away.
"They wouldn't mind you being gone."
I guess even my family wouldn't mind if I was gone…
I never really fit in anyways.
Then—
A message.
Cassie.
"Sorry I was out and the signal was horrible. I'm here now though, everything alright Abdullah?"
"Yea no it's fine… just I guess this is kinda random but do you care about me?"
"What kind of question is that? Of course I care about you. You care about me too right?."
"Yea of course I do."
"I can tell something's up, how come you asking that?"
Abdullah hesitated.
"I was just thinking… like I don't think anyone really cares about me other than you I guess. I mean like I only really talk to you. Like I'm friends with everyone, but I don't feel like it makes a difference whether I'm there friend or not. Like if I just disappeared, who would notice?"
"I would notice, alright? Don't talk like that."
"Yeah but—"
"No buts, alright? You're not going anywhere. Don't talk about disappearing. You said ya care about me, yeah?"
"Yea I do."
"Well you don't want me to be sad, do ya?"
"No, ofc not."
"Alright, well if you leave I'll be really sad, alright? So don't disappear on me. Promise."
Abdullah paused.
"Don't worry Cassie, I won't. It's not that easy to get rid of me."
"Good."
Abdullah stared at the screen for a moment.
Thank you, Cassie.
I think if I didn't have you
I'd have no reason not to
Disappear...