Orange Town smelled like fear and gunpowder.
Osamu noticed it the moment they docked—the kind of fear that didn't come from monsters or storms, but from people who'd already learned what happened when you resisted. Shops boarded up. The streets too quiet. Windows that watched instead of welcomed.
"Wow," Luffy said cheerfully. "This place looks fun."
Nami smacked him on the back of the head. "That's because you're stupid."
Osamu adjusted Gojo's sunglasses on his face and scanned the rooftops.
"Clowns," he said calmly.
Zoro raised an eyebrow. "You just say that, or—"
A cannonball exploded two streets over.
"—literal clowns," Osamu finished. "Armed ones."
Buggy's crew poured into the square like a bad circus act gone violent. Knives, guns, shouting, confidence that only came from bullying people who couldn't fight back.
Osamu smiled.
"Oh, this is my favorite kind of enemy," he said. "Canon fodder with personality."
He cracked his knuckles and stepped forward.
[System Shop Purchase]Item: Industrial Binding Slime (Bulk)]
The slime didn't explode this time.
It flowed.
Osamu flicked his wrist, and the slime stretched out like a living net, snapping around a group of pirates mid-charge. Legs glued together. Arms stuck to torsos. One guy tried to shoot and glued his own fingers to the trigger.
"What the hell is this?!""WHY IS IT WARM?!""I'M STUCK TO STEVE!"
Osamu laughed—full, loud, unrestrained.
"Oh my god," he wheezed. "Steve, stop struggling, you're making it worse!"
Another squad rushed him from the side.
Bad idea.
Shunpo.
Osamu vanished.
Reappeared behind them.
Slime to the backs of knees. Slime to boots. Slime to the ground.
They fell like dominos.
He spun once, kicked a pirate into a wall—not hard enough to kill, just enough to knock the fight out of him.
"This is not combat," Osamu announced cheerfully. "This is pest control."
Luffy had already jumped in, fists flying, laughing like a lunatic. Zoro carved a path through the tougher ones with clean, brutal efficiency. Nami disappeared entirely—only reappearing where money happened to vanish.
Osamu loved teamwork.
He didn't rush.
He farmed.
Every Buggy pirate that charged him got tangled, tripped, stuck, or knocked out with embarrassing efficiency. He tested timing, positioning, Shunpo bursts—short, clean steps that turned distance into suggestion.
A pirate swung a sword.
Osamu stepped past him mid-swing and tapped him on the forehead.
"Missed."
The pirate collapsed.
"EXP secured," Osamu muttered happily.
Then—
The clown appeared.
Buggy the Clown rolled into the square with all the flair of a man who thought he was terrifying. Arms crossed, grin wide, ego even wider.
"Who the hell are you people?!" Buggy roared.
Luffy pointed. "Hey! Clown!"
Buggy puffed up. "I'm Buggy the Clown! And this town belongs to me!"
Osamu tilted his head.
"…Man," he said, "you really committed to the aesthetic."
Buggy snarled. "You wanna die, smartmouth?!"
Osamu shrugged. "Not today."
While Buggy ranted, Osamu moved.
Quietly.
Behind him.
System inventory opened for half a second.
Coins. Jewels. Maps. A keyring. Weapons.
Half went into the void.
The other half he stuffed into a sack.
Buggy never noticed.
He never noticed Osamu until Osamu kicked him.
Not a punch. Not a blade.
A clean, Shunpo-assisted kick straight to the chest, launching Buggy backward into a pile of crates.
Buggy's body split apart mid-flight, pieces flying everywhere.
"Hahaha!" Buggy laughed, floating pieces reassembling. "You can't cut me, idiot!"
Osamu blinked.
"…Who said anything about cutting?"
He vanished again.
Reappeared above Buggy's head.
And kicked him straight down.
Buggy smashed into the ground, stunned, parts scattering.
Osamu landed lightly, hands in pockets.
"No no," he said mildly. "This isn't a damage fight."
He stepped forward, eyes sharp.
"This is a positioning fight."
Buggy tried to reassemble—
—and Osamu Shunpo'd again, kicking Buggy's torso away from his limbs, then his head, then his feet.
Buggy screamed.
"STOP KICKING ME APART!"
Osamu laughed like a madman.
"I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU," he cackled. "I'M JUST REDISTRIBUTING YOU!"
Luffy burst out laughing. "That's awesome!"
Buggy finally managed to reassemble—just in time for Luffy to stretch his arm back.
"GOMU GOMU NO—"
Osamu stepped aside, still laughing, wiping tears from his eyes.
"—PISTOL!"
The punch landed.
Buggy flew.
Canon held.
Buggy lost.
Silence followed.
Then cheers.
The town erupted.
Osamu exhaled, adrenaline buzzing, and finally slowed down. He walked calmly to the mayor, who stood shaking but proud.
Osamu dropped the sack at his feet.
"Your town's money," he said. "Most of it."
The mayor stared. "Y-You kept some?"
Osamu nodded. "Ninety thousand Belly. Ship expenses."
The mayor bowed so deeply his forehead nearly hit the ground.
"Thank you."
Osamu waved it off. "Don't let another clown take over."
Later, as the town celebrated, Osamu sat on a crate with a drink, boots resting on another.
Buggy's crew was gone. Buggy himself was gone.
Luffy ate.Zoro drank.Nami smiled in a way that promised future theft.
Osamu leaned back, grinning.
"Man," he muttered, "I love canon."
The sea waited.
And Osamu was ready to break it—carefully