"Uh..." Kakashi's visible eye curved with embarrassment. "That second part—the 'stronger' bit—was actually from your mother. She had very... direct opinions about my reading habits."
His tone suggested Kushina had been far less diplomatic than Minato about Kakashi's Icha Icha addiction.
They settled into a more comfortable conversation, the earlier tension dissipating like morning mist. Kakashi asked questions he'd been holding back for years—about the seal, about how Naruto was holding up as a Jinchūriki, about whether there were any signs of the Nine-Tails' influence.
He knew the basics, of course. Minato had used the Reaper Death Seal to split the Nine-Tails and bind it within his newborn son. But the specific details of the sealing process remained a mystery. Only Minato and Kushina had been present for the actual ritual. Even Hiruzen didn't know everything about what safeguards Minato had put in place.
Most Jinchūriki experienced emotional volatility as they matured, their seals weakening under stress or rage. Kakashi needed to know if Naruto was stable.
Naruto couldn't tell him about the System—it had been explicit about that from the very beginning. Even family cannot know about me, it had said. This secret dies with you, or you die with it.
So Naruto constructed a version of the truth that left out certain details. The seal was stable. He had no problems with the Nine-Tails. Everything was under control.
Technically accurate, if incomplete.
Kakashi's shoulders relaxed as Naruto spoke. The information satisfied his concerns, and more importantly, Naruto had accepted him. That alone lifted a burden Kakashi hadn't realized was crushing him.
"Naruto," he said after a moment, "when you introduced yourself to the team, you mentioned that your favorite thing was making friends. Is that really true?"
The question opened floodgates.
Naruto's entire face lit up. "I don't just like making friends, Kakashi-sensei. It's my dream. My life's goal." His voice carried absolute conviction. "I'm going to make everyone in Konoha my friend. And then everyone in the entire world. Every single person."
He said it with such earnest sincerity that Kakashi felt his chest tighten.
Of course that's his dream, Kakashi thought, his throat constricting. When he was young, he had no one. The entire village treated him like a monster. A child with no friends would grow up dreaming of nothing but friendship.
How lonely must he have been? How painful were those early years?
"Naruto..." Kakashi's voice came out rougher than intended. His nose felt hot, his eye stinging. "That's an incredibly noble dream. Truly. And as your sensei, I think I should support it completely."
He looked directly at Naruto, his visible eye serious despite its usual lazy droop. "So, Naruto—can I be your friend?"
Joy blazed across Naruto's face like sunrise. "Of course! I never imagined you'd support my dream so completely, just like Iruka-sensei! This makes me so happy!"
"Iruka supports you too? He's a good man." Kakashi smiled beneath his mask. "Did he become your friend as well?"
"Yeah! Iruka-sensei is one of my friends now." Naruto began listing them with growing enthusiasm. "I have quite a few, actually. There's Sasuke—he was my first friend, though he was really stubborn about it. Took forever to convince him. Then Choji, Shikamaru, Hinata, Sakura, Ino, Kiba, Shino..."
He talked about each one, sharing small anecdotes, his hands gesturing animatedly. Kakashi listened with a warm feeling spreading through his chest.
Look at him, Kakashi thought. So full of life, so determined to connect with people. Sensei would be proud.
"So, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto's tone shifted, becoming more formal. "Let's have our match now."
He dropped into a ready stance.
Kakashi blinked. "Match? Oh, you want to test your sensei's strength?" He smiled indulgently. "I suppose I can show you a few things, though my hands are still—"
"Kakashi-sensei." Naruto's expression became deadly serious. "Show me your full strength. Please demonstrate your sincerity."
Something in that phrasing made Kakashi pause, but he dismissed it. Just Naruto being dramatic. He probably wants a proper training session.
"All right then. I'm coming, Naruto. Be careful." Kakashi's demeanor shifted, his lazy posture straightening into a combat stance.
He'd seen glimpses of Naruto's strength in the Land of Waves. This required actual effort.
His hands formed seals—still painful, but functional enough for basic techniques. "Fire Style: Great Fireball Jutsu!"
A massive sphere of flame erupted from his mouth, roaring toward Naruto with enough heat to char the grass beneath it.
"Kakashi-sensei, Sasuke uses this all the time." Naruto vanished in a blur of movement. "It never hits anyone. Doesn't work on me either."
The fireball sailed past where Naruto had been standing and dissipated harmlessly into the evening air.
"How about this?"
Kakashi's voice came from underground.
He'd used Body Flicker to close the distance while Naruto was distracted, then tunneled beneath the surface. Now his hand shot up from the earth, grabbing Naruto's ankle.
"Earth Style: Headhunter Jutsu!"
Kakashi pulled, intending to drag Naruto underground and immobilize him.
Nothing happened.
He pulled harder. Naruto didn't budge even a millimeter.
It was like trying to uproot a mountain. Kakashi might as well have been grabbing a steel pillar embedded in bedrock.
"Kakashi-sensei." Naruto looked down at him with mild disappointment. "Please be serious."
He lifted his other foot.
And stomped.
BOOM!
Kakashi released his grip and dove deeper on pure instinct. The earth above him exploded, sending dirt and stones flying in all directions. When the dust cleared, Naruto stood calmly in the center of a crater five meters deep and twice as wide.
Kakashi emerged from the ground twenty meters away, staring at the destruction.
That was pure physical force, his mind cataloged with professional detachment. No chakra enhancement. Just his body. How is that possible?
"Kakashi-sensei, I'm coming now."
Naruto stepped out of the crater as casually as someone stepping off a porch. Then he blurred forward.
Simple. Direct. A straight punch aimed at Kakashi's center mass.
But the wind pressure preceding it howled like a storm. Kakashi felt the displaced air before Naruto even came close.
His hands flew through seals. "Earth Style: Earth Wall!"
Four walls erupted from the ground, forming a protective box around him.
CRACK!
Naruto's fist punched through the first wall like it was paper.
"Earth Style: Multiple Earth Walls!"
Kakashi layered defenses, raising wall after wall between himself and his student. Five, six, seven barriers of compressed stone.
That should buy me a second—
"Earth Style: Earth Flow Divide!"
He slammed both palms to the ground. The earth beneath Naruto's feet buckled and split, forming a churning serpent of stone that surged upward to knock him off balance.
Naruto simply raised one foot and brought it down lightly.
The stone serpent shattered like glass, fragments scattering across the torn ground.
"Thousand Buddhas Ascend to Heaven."
Naruto's fists became a blur.
The multiple earth walls exploded simultaneously, dust and debris erupting in all directions. Through the cloud of destruction, Kakashi saw him coming—
And then Naruto vanished.
Fast! Kakashi's hand moved to his headband, preparing to reveal his Sharingan—
Heat blossomed against his back.
He's behind me!
Kakashi spun, already knowing he was too slow—
"Mountain Embrace."
Two arms locked around him from behind, wrapping his torso in an unbreakable grip.
Kakashi immediately tried the standard escape technique—shifting weight, disrupting balance, creating leverage. None of it worked. The arms holding him might as well have been steel cables.
The pressure increased. Not crushing, but absolutely inescapable.
"Naruto," Kakashi said with as much dignity as he could muster, "you can let go now. Sensei surrenders."
"We're not done yet, sensei." Naruto's voice was cheerful. "Since you want to be my friend, you have to go through the process."
"...Process?"
Kakashi had just enough time to feel a profound sense of dread before Naruto's fist connected with his face.
Three minutes later, Kakashi sat on the ground.
His visible eye was swollen nearly shut. His nose was definitely broken. His lips were split in at least two places. Various other lumps and bruises decorated his face like some kind of abstract art piece.
He stared at Naruto with his dead fish eye—now even more deadened by physical trauma.
The look contained such pure, distilled resentment that it could have curdled milk.
"So..." Kakashi's voice came out thick through his swollen mouth. "This is... the process?"
"Yep!" Naruto smiled brightly, completely unaffected by the violence he'd just inflicted. "Congratulations, Kakashi-sensei! We're officially friends now!"
Kakashi continued staring.
"You know," he said eventually, each word careful and measured, "when I asked to be your friend, I was expecting... perhaps a handshake. Maybe a heartfelt conversation. Possibly training together."
"This is training together!" Naruto said helpfully.
"I see." Kakashi nodded slowly, then immediately regretted it as his neck protested. "And all your friends went through this process?"
"Every single one!"
"Even Hinata?"
"Well... hers was gentler. But yes, basically."
Kakashi closed his eye—his one functioning eye—and took a deep, steadying breath.
Sensei, he thought toward the heavens, your son has interesting ideas about friendship. I thought you should know.