Valeria has gone mad! How am I supposed to command such a huge bunch? What on earth came into her head this time?
I stood on a small hill, the sun hanging high in the sky. I put on a brave face, but I could see all those green faces staring at me with curiosity, fear, and some even with something close to divine adoration…
The clever vampire had a palanquin made for herself — a heavy, richly decorated structure of black wood and the finest fabrics — carried by eight hobgoblins, who, to make matters worse, looked genuinely happy to bear their somewhat self-proclaimed queen. Though personally, I'd describe her more as a war-leader than a queen.
We had no flags, no name, no coat of arms, nor any kind of administration. Not to mention a government, maps, or written laws…
"War Chief! Three thousand warriors await your orders. Her Highness Valeria has commanded that the rest guard the fortress against orc raids during her absence. The eldest goblin — Isma of the Yellow Grass tribe — will command the garrison."
Doirak stood straight. His change surprised me a little. As a rebel and goblin patriot, I thought he would cause trouble and reluctantly accept that some exiled vampire and a beast from the south would rule his entire race. Apparently, my performance and acting left an impression on him I never expected to make… Maybe that's for the better. At least we can keep playing our game and hope no one gets the idea to look for Zod in the Southern Mountains.
And then there was all that "Your Highness" business. The silver-haired woman had wrapped them around her finger in no time. As it turned out, her aristocratic genes and royal blood weren't just for show.
"Good work, Doirak! But first, we must settle the most important matters. Such is the will of the King of Monsters!" I said as solemnly as I could, my heart pounding louder with every word.
I felt embarrassed and uneasy.
The only group I had ever led was a handful of newbies at work right after college while the manager was away — and even that hadn't gone too well. Here, I had battle-hardened, desperate goblins fighting for survival in a cruel world. I wasn't proud of deceiving them, but Valeria and I had gone too far to back out now. We couldn't retreat. They'd kill us. She, on the other hand, didn't seem bothered at all and simply walked around the stronghold, inspecting everything like a proper ruler.
"Great Lizard. What is the will of the Ancient Behemoth?" Doirak asked, while many of the chiefs and warriors listened in.
"The daughter of the ancient high vampire clan Nocturne has successfully passed the trial of the ancient behemoths. Before we march to war, we must first crown her as the queen of goblins and hobgoblins. This is our most important task. Delaying these matters would surely bring misfortune and disaster upon the entire green race. Such is the will of the progenitor of these lands…"
My throat went dry as I spoke this nonsense, but still — knowing how life works — after the first casualties, some misfortune or failure, some of the goblins might start wanting to chase the vampire away. And that's when this ceremony and official proclamation would be worth their weight in gold. These creatures aren't exactly blessed with intelligence, and fear of divine punishment or Zod's wrath, with a bit of luck, might keep their nerves in check…
"Summon the goblins and hobgoblins. Light a great fire and bring food. Today we celebrate, we honor the ancient behemoths, and we bow before the queen chosen by their will — she who will free us from our troubles and prepare both the green race and these endless lands for the glorious return of the last of them in the near future…"
I roared at the end for effect and slammed my tail, then shouted as loudly, clearly, and forcefully as I could:
"Thus speaks the humble servant of Zod — his messenger and beloved disciple — Artax, called the Great Devourer and the Bane of Catastrophe!"
The crowd fell to their knees, heads bowed low, cheering. Fools — they bought it! Whew! Good thing they didn't know I had barely cleared a low-rank wild dungeon, and that without Valeria I'd have been pushing up daisies a long time ago.
The corny story about dominating catastrophe monsters and taking their power in the form of my changed appearance — which I had once proven by summoning a deformed catastrophe mouse — didn't hurt our case either…
I almost felt sorry for them. If they believe such nonsense, more than one race or interest group must have exploited them over all those years of misery, when they were left to rely only on themselves. Maybe our attempt to build a place worth living in won't turn out so bad for them after all?
For now, I saw Valeria approaching me, towering over the greens who pressed their foreheads to the ground before her. My exaggerations didn't seem to bother her. She was smiling, baring her teeth at those gathered at the foot of the hill.
She walked elegantly, carrying a pleasant scent of honey-floral perfume. The hobgoblins carried the empty palanquin behind her and wouldn't be chased away. They followed her, enchanted, as if just waiting for her to sit down and let them carry her wherever she wished.
"Many tribes have answered Zod's call, which means our cause is just. By his will I became your queen, but by my own I will do everything in my power to make the proud goblin race rise to greatness once more, as it has in history!"
I watched the green mass explode with euphoria. That girl really had a way with words, judging by their reaction. I was only curious how she planned to turn those efforts into reality. For now, the food was running out, and we hadn't done anything yet. We had no weapons or magical items, not to mention any kind of military system.
"Several of you have distinguished yourselves with your skill and zeal in Zod's service. I wish to honor all goblins and hobgoblins who contributed to the fall of Hakku and the creation of this alliance!"
We hadn't discussed that. On one hand, it was good that the vampire was showing initiative. On the other — if she did something stupid, it would be hard to undo. I clenched my teeth and decided to trust her ideas.
"Old shaman Isma has contributed the most to gathering the tribes. From this day on, he shall be my highest advisor and the representative of goblin affairs! Such is my will," she announced, giving him a kind look, as if repaying an old friend.
"Your Highness… I am not worthy of your kindness… May Zod reward you. I swear to obey you until the end of my life and beyond…" he thanked her, bowing deeply, supported by two young goblins so he wouldn't fall due to his age. "The goblin race is at your command… O Queen."
Valeria returned the bow, as if paying respect to the green race. Such behavior from a higher vampire was probably rare, because a tear rolled down the old goblin's cheek.
"Furthermore, I proclaim before the gods, history, and all who see and hear us, the creation of the Five Green Generals, who shall become the backbone of the Green Army!"
She really wasn't wasting time with her plans. A bit of order and hierarchy would do this rabble some good. The best armies were always known for discipline and structure — or at least that's what I remembered from strategy games and the hundreds of books I'd read in my youth, before my brain in my previous life had rotted from porn and cheap dopamine… Now I regretted never reading any proper military manuals. Some 21st-century handbook or advice from famous European generals would be priceless right now!
Well, I had to play the cards I was dealt. For now, I was thinking about what I should do. How to deploy this bunch. I'd read the manga Kingdom once and watched war movies from ancient times to the war in Afghanistan, but honestly… fantasy and reality are two very different things. These goblins were alive. I saw their faces, I saw the poverty and desperation in their eyes. They really believed in us…
"Gyrd! The Arrow of our alliance and commander of the scouts! Zoggo! The Spear of the Green Army and commander of special units! Borg! The force of destruction of our alliance and commander of the goblin raiders! Doirak! The Shield of our kingdom, which will soon be famous across the continent! Commander of the infantry!"
Valeria spoke, and all four of them could barely contain their joy, though they tried hard to hide it, not to show that they had felt even a moment of doubt about being chosen.
"And the last of the Green Generals I appoint—" Valeria stopped, looked at a familiar face, and winked in his direction. "Mago! The one who led two tribes to help the rebels free the stronghold! The one who did not hesitate, who did not fear. The Fifth General of the Green Army and commander of the reserves!"
The tattooed goblin knelt, and out of gratitude almost started kissing his queen's boots. She had to step back and calm his suddenly overexcited body. Only after a moment did the gravity of the situation sink in, and the gazes of hundreds of warriors and several jealous chiefs focused on the little-known goblin. He wiped away his tears, stood straight, and bowed three times, shouting:
"I swear by all generations of my ancestors! I will not fail you, my Queen! I will follow you even to the end of the world! Until the end of time, I pledge you my loyalty!"
The vampire thanked him with a gesture of her hand. I didn't know what to think about it myself. Maybe he didn't lack courage, but leading fifty goblins out of the gate against Hakku's orcs wasn't exactly tactical genius… Good thing he got the reserves. Maybe he won't mess that up. Hopefully.
"I have one more announcement." Valeria walked slowly up to Godo, who was holding Gege in his arms, and crouched down. "Goblin Godo has shown loyalty and devotion. Moreover, he knows these forests and possesses a skill I desire. I appoint you Great Keybearer and entrust you with the warehouses and granaries of our fortress and all royal buildings, so they do not fall into ruin and may serve both our people and the logistics of our armies and nation…"
Honestly, sometimes this vampire could show real heart…
Maybe she handed out titles like flyers, but she also showed that even the small ones could earn a title if they proved loyal. Maybe it was part of some bigger strategy? Well… for now, there was only one thing left on my mind. Or… maybe two.
The coronation and a little after-party…
I hadn't eaten for half a day! You have no idea how fast a hydra gets hungry and how much it has to eat! I felt like some kind of elephant that just wants to eat all the time. At least not much goes to waste, and visits to latrines or other stinking pits of filth aren't that necessary…
After that, everything happened so fast I didn't even manage to exchange a few words with the vampire, who was constantly surrounded by goblins. Gyrd was feeding her falcon, and her archers gave a display of their skills. One of them even hit a crow in flight, though I have no idea how that was possible! He himself didn't seem to know either, judging by the confused look on his face. Borg was flexing his muscles in front of young females and wrestling a bear (with only a few scratches as a result), Zoggo was sharpening his spearhead and cursing orcs like a madman, and I saw Doirak helping the locals, caring for the sick and showing newcomers where they could sleep.
I was only missing Godo with Gege and Mago — they had disappeared somewhere.
I gave up on following Valeria. Maybe I had a soft spot for her, but I knew very well that a new body wouldn't change who I was as a person. I was still that loser girls hated and avoided. That was just my nature, and I'd made peace with it long ago, back when I was a NEET. Why would it be any different now? Deep down, I knew that for the vampire I was just a tool to rule the goblins and create some illusion of power — apparently, that was simply her royal nature. She always had to dominate someone, rule over someone. I didn't mind, personally. What mattered was that I had someone to talk to, and someone to build a place with, where I wouldn't have to live day to day, hoping for a lucky hunt or the absence of powerful monsters on the road…
Yes, that was a good goal. My own kingdom in this wilderness the world didn't seem to care much about.
At least that's what I thought back then — though not for long. I wanted to find Godo and Mago and talk to them a bit. Maybe convince them to stay in the fortress. Gege was still young, and danger was everywhere. If Mago died during the punitive expedition, Godo would surely take it badly. At his age, it was better not to risk it.
I found them near the place where slaves and pigs had once been kept. Many females surrounded Godo, who was kneeling together with Mago and the sad Gege. It seemed both villages had gathered in one place. The scene looked like some kind of church — except outdoors, in mud, among stinking cages and pens…
"Welcome, Great Devourer…" Godo rose with the help of Gege and several other goblins, many of whom I was seeing for the first time. The old one noticed my curious and confused gaze. "Thank you for your help. We freed many of our women and buried all the sons who were lost in the battle and before…"
"Before?" I asked.
"My son was killed when we failed to pay the tribute. Several of our younger ones were also beheaded as an example or torn apart by wolves… I walked around the fortress and asked what Hakku's people did with the bodies of our children… I learned they all ended up as food for pigs…" Godo began to cry, Gege ran away broken and full of pain, and Mago comforted those gathered. "I asked the great Isma to bless my son's soul and perform a ritual to allow him to cross the River of the Dead to the Land of the Sword God, where the brave feast and wage war until the end of time… awaiting their descendants together with their ancestors… Great Isma did it for free… A wonderful goblin!" Godo struck the ground twice with his fists. A small grave marker for the children of his tribe stood unmoved.
Good stone… Isma had done a fine job.
Now I understood even more that the stories of these people were just as painful and real as in any other world. Earth and this world were equally cruel, though this one reminded me of the darkest ages of Europe. I had to help them somehow. By helping them, I'd help myself. I would prove that the old me was gone, that I had control over this life, that if I wanted to, I could do it. I swore to myself that we would unite the goblins so they would never again end up like victims of Hakku and his people.
As I stood there, contemplating my life and the lives of these unfortunate goblins, horns sounded, drums roared, and the ceremony came to an end.
With my keen eye, I slowly saw Valeria walking, painted in the colors of many clans, exhausted by many rituals and wrapped in the colorful ritual fabrics of the Yellow Grass tribe. Great Isma — arguably the highest-ranking goblin and the oldest shaman — led the coronation. Swords struck shields. Wolves howled, goblins shouted, and the fire burst high, carrying smoke eastward with the wind — toward the land bathed in mist, to which Valeria had once sworn to return with a sword…
"Behold Valeria I Nocturne! Valeria the Unifier! High Vampire! Rightful Ruler of the Misty Isles and the Three Great Forests of Montara! Mother of Goblins! Chosen of Zod! Defender of the Green Race! Servant of the God of the Sword and the God of Darkness! Victor over Bloody Hakku! Breaker of Chains! Comforter of the Afflicted! Unwavering! Swordmaster! Benefactress! Herald of Zod!"
He really outdid himself… Isma always took his job seriously.
The White Crown of the Sacred Oak that grew in the village of Yellow Grass adorned her head, and priceless pearls and four emerald gems shone in all directions of the world…
The coronation came to an end.