I arrived at my new place, feeling a bit weary. Apparently, my old stuff and Koneko's belongings had already been moved in.
And it's huge! It's the same height as Issei's house, six stories above ground! …I should've seen this coming.
"Um, Azazel-sensei… did it really have to be this big?"
No way I'll be able to use all this space.
"Of course! Grigori built this as a surveillance base for the 'child of God' I'm watching over. Issei's house is a Devil's construction, right? Our side insisted, 'We can't have anything less than that!' But if we went bigger, Issei's place would've just escalated again, so we made them equal. Oh, and there are three basement levels too."
"Please don't drag me into your petty status competition between Devils and Fallen Angels!!"
"Haha! C'mon, it looks cool, doesn't it? Anyway, I'll give you a quick tour. Come on in!"
Isn't this my house!?
Issei and the others wanted to take a look too, so we all entered through the massive front door.
My parents weren't home yet… I wonder how they'll react?
"Whoa! This place is amazing! Mine's crazy too, but this is just as awesome! It feels kinda sci-fi in here, though."
Issei's right, the design definitely caters to a guy's inner child. You can tell the designer had fun with it.
But then I noticed something weird in the living room. A red button on the wall, labeled "Emergency Escape."
"Push~nya!"
"WHY DID YOU PRESS IT, KUROKAAAA!?"
The whole house began to shake with a deep rumbling: "ZUGOGOGOGOGOGOGO!!"
"I mean, you'd be curious too, right?"
No! You're supposed to ask Azazel-sensei first!!
"What the hell did you put in my house, Azazel-sensei!?"
"Heh heh heh! Kuroka's got good instincts! Red buttons are meant to be pushed, after all!"
Mad scientist mode: activated. Can I punch him yet?
"Anyway, take a look outside."
We looked outside and saw… blue skies and white clouds.
Wait, just that!?
I rushed to the window. Below us, Kuoh Town!?
"THE HOUSE IS FLYINGGGGGG!?"
"It's flying… It's really flying, Asia!!"
"Yes, Xenovia-san! What a breathtaking view!!"
"My, my… this really is something else."
While everyone marveled, I was stunned into silence. Asia and Xenovia are way too innocent about this.
"Azazel… what if regular people see this?"
Rias-senpai asked without even calling him "sensei" anymore.
"Relax. This house uses hyper-expensive materials that generate perception barriers when activated. Oh, and it's got full defense systems too, if needed, it can turn all of Kuoh Town into a sea of fire in ten minutes."
"WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BUILD THAT!?"
So this was the "gimmick" he mentioned yesterday!
"Don't worry, I'll give you the full manual later. Memorize it. It's your summer homework!"
Eventually, the house returned next to Issei's, and Azazel-sensei handed me a thick manual before vanishing like the wind.
As we all said goodbye, Issei patted me on the shoulder on the way out. Don't do that. It's depressing.
Later that evening, after both my parents had come home, we all gathered around the living room table to exchange greetings.
"My, my. When I heard we won a luxury house share through a lucky draw, I didn't know what to think. But when I found out you'd be living with a friend from your club, I thought, maybe this could be nice. And now, to find out that your housemates are such lovely, beautiful sisters too!"
Apparently, the official explanation for why we're living together in this brand-new mansion is "house sharing." Not common in Japan, sure, but apparently normal enough overseas that it doesn't sound too suspicious. Maybe it works as a cover…?
"But still, is this really okay? With the Toujou sisters… I mean, they're about the same age as our Ikki. It's not impossible that something… inappropriate might happen."
Inappropriate, huh? Well, I guess that's the kind of thing a father should ask up front.
"No worries at all. Ikki and I are dating. People don't call that a 'mistake,' they call it the 'correct answer!'"
Just saying "No worries" was enough, Kuroka! And no, even if you're doing the deed like a married couple (not that we are!), nobody calls that "the correct answer!" Don't go rewriting human social norms!
"Whaaat!? Kuroka-san and our Ikki!? Ikki, if you have a girlfriend, you should've introduced her sooner!"
"W-Well, to be fair, we only officially started dating this morning…"
"That's right! I've been after him for years, and finally, he gave in!"
"Unbelievable! I never thought Ikki was the indecisive type!"
"Indeed, dear. I always thought he was a dependable child, but maybe it's time we gave him a proper re-education."
Kuroka clutched her chest and dramatically feigned sobbing, yo yo yo sound effects practically hanging in the air. My parents noticed the act, of course… and went along with it.
Looks like I've got no allies in this house.
After they had their fun at my expense, I returned to my room, now six or seven times the size of my old one, and flopped onto the bed with the massive house Azazel-sensei gave me. I skimmed it.
…This place is 100% a fortress. It even has laser cannons. There's a footnote in the margins that reads, "Robot House: currently under development." Yeah… I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see that.
Then Kuroka entered the room.
"Could you at least knock? Even among friends, manners matter, you know."
"Ehh, manners? Who cares, nya~ Besides, you already sensed me coming with senjutsu, didn't you?"
"Well, yeah. I was just saying it."
Honestly, there's no point saying stuff like that to Kuroka. It's not like I expected her to actually follow etiquette.
"Then no problem, nya~! Anyway, if you keep reading that massive instruction manual, it'll be morning before you know it. Time for bed!"
With that, Kuroka dove into the bed and clung to me. The AC was on, but it was summer, so her pajamas were light, and pretty revealing. Her soft body and warmth started messing with my thoughts in very inappropriate ways.
"Uh, I mean… Koneko-chan's in this house too, right? Why not go to sleep with her?"
"Of course I invited Shirone on the way here. But she said she's still too embarrassed and wanted to sleep alone tonight, nya~ Besides, we're both heading to the Underworld tomorrow for training and we'll be together all the time. So for tonight, I wanna sleep with Ikki~"
Mmm… But I'll be fine. I've got the ultimate fallback, "Ittou Shura", the technique that puts me straight into sleep mode. With that, I'll be out like a light until morning!
Or so I thought.
Just as I activated my bedtime "Ittou Shura" meditation, I realized something critical, the technique amplifies all my senses. And with Kuroka glued to me, I could feel everything, her skin, her breath, her heartbeat, her scent, everything.
Yeah… so much for meditation. I failed spectacularly, and the effect wore off. I ended up just falling asleep normally.
…How the hell am I supposed to keep up this training from now on?
=====================
Note: Before switching to Kunou's part, I let Kuroka have her heroine moment.
Just to be clear: Ikki doesn't yet have romantic feelings for Kunou. But if she keeps showing him honest, straightforward affection for another 5 or 6 years… yeah, he might be in trouble.
Also, if Kuroka were the clingy "look only at me!" type, the story would've probably followed that path instead.