DING!
Thank you for your patience! You may now grab your ticket and proceed to Afterlife Entrance Queue number 9801! Please move in an orderly fashion as to not disrupt the Afterlife Queue of other souls. Have a nice Reincarnation!
The automated voice rings out from the speaker above the ticket slot with enthusiasm that kinda seems provocative. Like, honestly?
Who the fuck designed this peice if shit? I wonder as I grab my ticket bearing my S.D.N. (Soul Designation Number), and look around the infinite space for Afterlife Cue 9801.
OK, I realize now that this is kind of a shitty narration, but what can I say? Before this, I was a normal high-school kid.
OK, here's the rundown of how I got to this situation.
It all starts 2 hours ago...
[2 Hours Earlier - Portland Oregon - Preparing to depart for Sunday Mass - 7:06 a.m. ...]
"Killian! Get down here! Because of you we're already 10 minutes late!" My mom's voice thunders from downstairs, reaching me as I sat on the shitter.
Bruh. I think with a sigh as I wince from her tone. Why in the fuck are women like this?
I had been waiting for literally 45 minutes for my mother and my devil spawn twin sister to finish showering and getting ready for Sunday Mass. Four minutes ago, I thought Hey! They're taking a while, I might as well empty my bowels before we get there.
For those of you who live with women, you already know where I messed up in my train of thoughts.
The first mess up was me thinking. Yup, you heard me correctly. When you have a stubborn wife, sister, mother, grandmother, any female that you interact with daily, the first thing you have to remember is don't think.
Thinking usually means that you immediately identify the problem that is being given attention to by said female. But word of wisdom, They don't want to identify the problem! They just want to complain about it! If you identify the problem, then the only thing that they can complain about in that moment is you. What you should do is nod, and when she pauses, repeat the last thing she said and add 'Really?' At the beginning while looking mildly shocked.
For those wondering what my second mistake was, the second mistake was not remembering the consequences of the first mistake. Thus a sequence of events occurred. I, believing in logic, sat down on my toilet and started to take care of business. So, naturally, my mom broke that logic by somehow being done almost as soon as I started shitting, and somehow managed to make what she said next logical in her point of view.
"We're all waiting on you! Hurry up!"
Gritting my teeth at her utterly shameless and heavily skewed statement, I finish up, and as I stand up to pull up my pants, I slip on a stray peice of toilet paper, and crack my head on the corner of the marble countertop that holds the sink.
I didn't even have time to scream before I blacked out and that led directly to my current situation.
[Present - Afterlife realm ticket Queue]
Souls pass all around me as I look around me looking almost desperately for Queue 9801.
As I'm looking around, my ticket suddenly vibrates and then it suddenly explodes into a bunch of particles of light, which hover in place in front of me.
"Soul #E-900966877! Please follow me to your designated Queue." A feminine voice says, coming from the particles of light.
Holy shit!
I jump slightly, expecting neither the explosion of light nor the voice coming from the particles, which both happened so fast that it was nearly simultaneous.
"Uh... Y-yeah. Right. Follow you. No problem. Lead the way." I say not being able to hide my stuttering that comes from my surprise.
Inwardly, I'm groaning. Why can't anything be normal?
It didn't even occur to me in that moment that accepting your death and being calm headed in the afterlife isn't exactly normal.
In fact, the things I deemed 'not normal' were most likely attracted to my being because I too was not normal, but that's a story for another time.
"Wait. I'm getting a transmission from boss. Please wait for a moment." The voice from the light particles says, snapping me from my thoughts.
"...Right," I say. "Take your time."
Boss? Transmission? This place is surprisingly reflective of Earth's society.
Or... is it Earth that reflects this place? Kinda trippy.
I'm still spacing out when the light particles speak again.
"Soul numb- *ahem* Carson Harris. Please follow me to the special admissions kiosk."
Wait. Why did she call be by my name?
"Wait, Ms... anyways. Why am I going to special admissions kiosk? Did I do something wrong?" I ask, a slight panic creeping into my heart. Fine! A huge panic. I'm internally freaking out!
"Mr. Harris, you are not in any trouble. In fact, it's as far from that as a low rank soul can get. You're due for a Soul Rank Promotion as it's your 1,000 lifetime you're being reincarnated into," My sparkly tour guide says, no emotion whatsoever.
"O-one thousandth? I've had 998 other lives?" I ask, my jaw practically hitting the floor.
Damn. If I wasn't an otaku in this life I'd be going crazy right now! I think.
The light particles give a slight hum before replying," Yes. That is correct. And due to the nature of this particular occurrence, you have been given a chance to cash in your Karma Points from your previous 998 lives, in addition to this one. Here is your KP balance," The light particles shift, then solidify into a hard screen with a number and a few words.
|MILLENNIA REINCARNATION LIFE CUSTOMIZATION SURVEY.
Karma points: 803,389
Please answer the following questions...
1) You consider yourself outgoing
○Absolutely
○Not at all
●Sometimes
○No
2) The last work of fiction you were interested in
○Sci-Fi Movie
○Action Show
○Anime
●Comics/Graphic Novels
3) The element of fiction that I enjoy most
●Overpowered Protagonist
○Dense Protagonist
○Righteous Protagonist
○Unintentionally Lucky Protagonist
Thank you for your cooperation. Your new life has been assigned.
World: Lookism (Manhwa)
Time period: (30 days before canon)
Your new life:
[Lance Lee -
Title(s): Reincarnator, Chosen One
{Age}: 15
{Height}: 191cm
{Weight}: 78.9kg
{Strength}: ???³
{Speed}: ???³
{Stamina}: ???³
{Endurance}: ???³
{Intelligence}: EX+
{Potential}: ???³
{Experience}: E-
Note: ???= there isn't a statistical metric for a certain curcumstantial reason
³= It's changing too rapidly to be quantified by a single metric
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
Reincarnator Perks:
{Absolute Healing Factor¹}, {Photographic Reflexes¹}, {10x Monetary Cashback¹},{Warrior King's Aura (For every three people under your command, the entirety of your gang gets a stackable 5% buff in all base stats)¹}, {God's Eye (See the stats of every person you can see)²}
Note:
¹ passive
²active ]
Life cost:795,000 KP
Would you like to proceed with this life?
Y/N?
Wow! Lookism! Cool! Plus I get these stats and abilities? Shouldn't being the strongest be easy then? I think, greedily rubbing my hands together like a cliché villain.
I click yes, and instantly I black out again, only this time I'm smiling.