"Hello Harry, It's always nice of you to visit, and even though you are nothing more then a fragment of my subconscious that appears real due to side affect of the anti psychotic potions they have been forcing me to take. And how are you today?"
"I'm fine Hermione, and you?"
"I'd be better if you were real." Hermione shrugged, "or if you weren't and the real you was out of prison."
"I am real and not in prison," Harry smiled. "I staged a daring rescue last night and brought you here, you've spent the last twelve hours in detox."
"That's nice," Hermione smiled. "Have you rescued Lupin yet?"
"I rescued him a couple hours ago," Harry nodded. "Why were you in a mental hospital anyway?"
"Well," Hermione began. "After your trial, Dumbledore decided that I was insane because I doubted him and believed in your innocence. So, using his powers of loco parentis he had me committed."
"That sucks," Harry sympathized. "Would you like to come with me to a tropical island I own? Lupin already said yes."
"What ever makes you happy Harry," Hermione nodded and after a moment of thought added. "You're looking remarkably less colorful then normal, are you eating enough?"
"I'm not a hallucination Hermione," Harry smiled. "So I'm not suppose to be in all sorts of strange colors."
"Ok," Hermione nodded. "When do you want to go to the island?"
"Right after I defeat Voldemort," Harry shrugged. "Despite the fact that I've been locked up in prison, I've got the feeling that the battle will be remarkably short and one sided."
"That's not a good thing Harry," Hermione reminded him with a frown. "And why do you want to defeat him anyway?"
"Well, it might be so that everybody feels bad about locking me up when I hadn't committed any crime or it might be to get revenge on my parents," Harry looked a bit sheepish. "I haven't decided yet."
"Why would they feel guilty Harry?" Hermione looked puzzled. "They don't believe you're innocent."
"Forgot to mention that I was going to wait until after Voldemort admitted that he had framed me before killing him." Harry said turning a bit red, "I'm sorry but I'm having a hard time remembering these things."
"That's ok Harry," Hermione patted his hand. "When do you plan to do this anyway?"
"Oh no," Harry checked his watch. "If I don't hurry, I'm going to arrive late and then I won't have the satisfaction of gloating."
"Hurry back Harry," Hermione smiled. This hallucination was much nicer than the last one had been.
Harry returned a few minutes later with a few blood stains on his new robes, "sorry it took so long but I wanted to get in an extra long gloat."
"That's ok," Hermione nodded. "Can we go to that island now?"
"I just have one more thing to do, and then we can leave." Harry smiled and pulled out a piece of parchment.
"What are you doing?" Hermione asked curious as to what her subconscious was trying to tell her conscious.
"Just putting down a form letter so that I don't have to waste time responding to every Owl that the sheep in the wizarding world send me begging me to forgive them."
"I suppose that's sensible," Hermione nodded. "Now can we go to the island?"
"Yes Hermione, we can go to the island now."
IIIIIIIIIIIII
Your letter to Harry Potter has been returned unopened due to the fact that its intended recipient has no wish to maintain contact with the wizarding world. Below is a form letter designed to address as much of the population as possible.
To the wizarding world; if you believed in my innocence, thanks, and if not screw you.
To my former friends; I hate you, if you wish that to change read below.
To Fudge; you are a stupid incompetent git, who should have been smothered at birth to prevent your existence from lowering the collective IQ of humanity.
To the press; First you lionize me, then you vilify and slander me on the flimsiest evidence, all I ask for is consistency either decide that I am the savior of the wizarding world or the anti-Christ, make up your minds.
Note: If you are a house elf or other similar creature in need of employment, please direct all applications to my friend and employee Dobbly.
If any of my former friends no longer wish me to hate them then they must follow these simple steps.
Destroy any and all evidence that we once knew each other.
If asked deny any association with me past, present, and future.
If you see me on the street cross to avoid coming into contact with me.
My loyal friends were killed on the same night I was sentenced to hell; all of you are nothing but cruel mockeries that bear some slight resemblance to my dead companions.
This letter may be reproduced or published free of charge so long as it remains in its original unaltered form.
-Harry James Potter
AN: Two plot bunnies that I decided to turn into drabbles. Like 'em or hate 'em, I don't care cause they were fun to write. Note: Most of the time there is a formula to the Harry in Azkaban stories that I tried to follow in the second drabble, that's why everybody is acting so OOC. I was looking through my hard drive and I started going through some of my old ideas, a few minutes knocking them into a story and here they are. One of these was almost written instead of Caer Azkaban, but in the end I decided to try something new. To make these, I just turned the loosely connected thoughts into a couple of short drabbles. You might find a few ideas that found their way into Caer Azkaban.
OMAKE: The scene that inspired me to put this up.
Ron stared at his reflection and shuddered at what he saw, a broken man, a man that had spent too much time in the bottle and not enough in the sun. A man . . . a man that had betrayed his best friend. "Be guilty Harry," Ron's seldom used voice begged. "Cause if you're not, then I could never forgive myself."