"It wasn't supposed to fair like this..." I thought... blood had smeared my hands red and they were shaking from the shock. Looking down I can see his body laying there and blood was gashing out from his body. Without realizing tears flowed in two streams from my now red eyes.
"Don't... don't you dare die..." I shouted at the almost lifeless body. The knife that had cause the damage still stuck on his body, it stood so firm almost as the love that I claimed to him. Looking at him laying down there just woke this urge inside me, I did promise him once that in this world- he was the only one holding me back. I did tell him that if it were not for him then I'd have long left this god forsaken place. It was my love that moved me forward for the few years I had known him. I did confess to him several times but he insisted on the fact that it wasn't love that I felt but several other emotions that I'll have to explain along the way.
"Was my love so worthless that you'd rather die than live it out with me..." I wailed at his body that was gradually turning cold. "I told you... I told you that I'll die if you ever leave me... what don't you understand?!" My hand was brushing on his body like a blind person, reaching out to his face which had had it's eyes closed not long ago. "Can you open those eyes of yours please? I promise you, I won't get angry at you for doing this to me... I swear I won't get back at you or anything- just please open your eyes..."
No matter how much I begged him, he wouldn't wake up. He chose to die and leave me all alone. what was I supposed to do in a world without him anyways, therefore to punish him for leaving me and choosing death- I decided to end it as well. I presume he prefers us meeting again in the next life than live through this horrible world. I'll grant his wish today, he clearly ended his life so that I can follow him. Or rather, he chose this way so that we both are reborn and live completely different lives. I want to die next to him so when we are reincarnated, I'd follow him close and we can meet again in different circumstances. All in all, I have decided that he's the only person I'll ever love.
So as I push this dagger through my heart, I'll gladly take his pain, be it hundred or a thousand fold just so the heavens can witness my sacrifice. I want them to see how my love could shake the nine heavens, I want them to have no choice but to give us the happy ending we surely deserve. In this life, I can say that I'm the only one that loved openly. I give my life so that he can get to love me openly in our next life too. I pray that they ease his path so that he won't be burdened by life- the heavens owe me a debt. I took his hand interlocking my fingers with him and as I felt the life slip away from me, I did nothing but put on a smile for the both of us.
...
My name is Gwen. I'm currently a graduate student and am definitely getting late for my class this morning. I have to run for at least ten more minutes which I haven't got time for because I don't want to be late for my very first lecture of the semester. Can the heavens just send me a knight in a shining armor to help me reach my class without getting late?
Right in front of me, I notice a guy... this man looked pretty neat. He had a coffee in his hand and was getting into a car, I guessed it was his as he was getting on the driver's seat. "Heaven... is that my knight?" I asked, "because if he isn't, why would I meet him, right?" So I ran straight to the passenger seat of his car, opened it and shoved myself inside like the owner. "Kind sir, you obviously look older, wiser and smart. I here, will be late for class if you don't start the car right now..." I was totally giving him the puppy eyes as I spoke. I needed him to buy my sorry act and please drive me to school.
To my surprise, this man said nothing and started driving, it was weird as I hadn't even mentioned to him which school it was. Well, there aren't many schools around but still, he so suddenly knew my destination. Who cares anyways, I was just thankful the guy didn't ask questions and safely took me to school. "You be blessed for your act... I'll be going then..." I quickly thanked him and ran off. It was just a fleeting encounter after all, there was no need for introductions and interrogations.
I knew I wouldn't ever meet him again, so I didn't even let his image stick to my mind. I couldn't memorize it anyways due to the immense embarrassment and anxiety I carried in the almost ten minutes together. So I walked to my class, found myself a seat and sat down waiting for class to start. The professor entered and I could hear the murmurs from the other students intensify. It was as if a handsome man had walked in, I could hear distinct "awws" and "ahhs" from all directions.
The male students who had their girlfriends by their side groaned from jealousy and so I didn't intend to miss looking at this man who had turned the class upsidedown. I took out my glasses and the moment I raised my head I felt a sudden slash right through my heart. It was as if his gaze had pierced my very heart like a sharp pin. "What was that?" I murmured to myself placing my hand on my heart. This superficial pain actually hurt so bad you'd think it was real. The moment the professor placed his books on the table and looked up, he also placed his hand on his heart. It was as if he felt the pain as well but it turns out he was just reaching out for his pen.
"My name is Winston. I'll be your professor for this semester. I'll take the roll call now..." Then he proceeded to call out the students' names one by one. Hearing his voice, I started feeling dizzy, his voice echoing through my ears, his gaze piercing through my heart. As he continued calling out the names, the pain increased. So intense that I couldn't take it, I felt like throwing up and my head was pounding. I couldn't breathe, I tried hard but my breathe grew shorter each second.
"Stop..." I springed up raising my voice as high for him to hear. Although I was out of it, I could feel the silence hitting me back to consciousness. The class went silent and everyone turned to me in surprise.
"What's wrong with her?" One girl whispered as loud as I could hear to her friend.
"Miss... is something wrong?" That voice again I thought. "I'm sorry sir... I think there's-"
"Stop... talking..." Mr. Winston spoke and his voice now sounding like he was in pain.
"You feel it too... sir?"
"I..."
"I think there's something wrong with-" I tried explaining...
"What's going on out there?" Mr. Winston asked, "As if people are fighting?" He went to the window to check, he saw two girls pulling each other's hair. It was a full on fight and the other students surrounded them as they cheered for the fight. Seeing that the professor rushed outside to separate them and end the fight. It took him a quarter an hour to come back to class and continue his lesson.
Surprisingly, all the pain just faded in that time as well. When he came back to class, he spoke throughout the two hours of the lecture and I felt nothing. I couldn't even focus in class because of the several attempts I made to make eye contact with him and no daggers were piercing through me. However, this still couldn't ease my mind. I just couldn't put my finger on it but there was definitely something wrong with him or rather, something wrong with me.
Class was over and the class emptied in an instant. Leaving just the two of us behind. My eyes were completely fixed on him and I noticed every small movement he made. I saw him cleaning up his desk and shutting down his laptop as if things had been slowed down. There was something just drawing me to him and I had no idea what was. Finally I stood up from my seat determined to confront him of the cause.
As I took each step towards him I felt my heart break piece by piece.
"Sir..." I called out.
He didn't look me in the eyes when he replied with that voice of his. "Mhmm..." he replied in a soft tone.
"Have we met?" I blurted out of the blue. Something inside me just felt that this was the appropriate question. After it came a familiarity almost as if I knew what his answer would be. As if I knew he knew me.
"Pardon..." he spoke confused.
"You... have we ever met before?"
"Yes..." he mysteriously answered looking straight into my eyes. The look in his eyes was empty as if there were no strings attached. As if he just casually gave out the answer as how you answer a casual question. It wasn't like that for me though, seeing him look like that instantly broke something inside me. I felt a sudden pain signaled from my brain to my toes. I literally almost voiced "how dare he?" to his face.
"Ha..." I scoffed then proceeded, " where, may I ask?"
"You... rushed into my car this morning... I almost thought I'd walked into the wrong car..." He explained, he had now leaned on the table and his face was so close to mine. Such a handsome face so close I couldn't help but get embarrassed.
I instantly looked away and to top it off, apologies were in order. I knew my being impulsive would surely dig me into the embarrassment hole but I never learnt to stop. Let alone face him, I didn't want to cross his path again. Such shame should only be buried never to be freed again. With my face directed to the floor I said, "I'm so sorry for my behavior this morning..." I bit my tongue then continued, "let me buy you coffee as payment..."
"No need..." He said while walking away.
"I'll definitely buy you coffee, no rejection allowed..." I enthusiastically insisted. My voice now sounding bright after overcoming that momentary embarrassing scene.
"Black..." He said...
"Huh?"
"I take it black... my coffee..." He looked back and left me a smile before exiting the room.
"Was that his signature exit?" I asked my awestruck self.
Mr. Winston walked out of the room wearing a sly smile on his face. His back now turned from Gwen, he walked to a safe distance then murmed to himself, "I finally found you..."
He placed his hand on his heart, the very spot Gwen felt pain. He caressed it gently and walked away smiling to himself like a fool. On the corridor, the girls kept greeting him and placing themselves on his way to get noticed but he acted aloof. His target had already been set actually, these other girls were all trying in vain.
In this life, Mr. Winston was determined to win Gwen over, he walked down the corridor confident... because in this life, he was the first to regain their memories. He felt that dagger piercing him through from the moment they met this morning. Her voice made her weak and short of breath from the moment she sat in his car.
Thanks to the constant nightmares he suffered for years. He had long dreamt of Gwen, she was always the girl in his dreams and today she finally took shape. His confidence to make it right this time peaked to the roof when she thought to interrogate him just now. He played her game well and her flushed cheeks gave her away. Meaning, capturing her heart won't only be an easy task but getting their happy ending would be a piece of cake at that.