It was the time of exam i was in full depression just few days ago i had teared out all of my notes which i had wrote for 1 month that was the time i started talking to her date was 16th september we both had same exam we gave after that she asked me how was it even though i barely talk to or reply to anyone on time due to depression i dont know why how but i replied to her we started talking a lot we talk till the time of 4 am in the morning till from 6 pm throughout online chats only exam got over at 5 pm for the first time in last 4 years i smiled from heart even though from my side i said sorry if i somehow wasted your time she calmy said it wasnt a time waste i smiled from heart i loved each and every moment from her next day came we again talked a lot almost whole day exam was also on very next date but that exam didnt mattered to me at that time we both talked with each other as if nothing else mattered to us for days we got too much close i told things to her which i have never ever said to anyone she also did same.
After around 3-4 days she told about her private id where she only had 2 followers both her female friends who were close to her very much i asked about myself she didnt denied to accept me but she just said that only her 2 friends has access to those she cant share those posts i was like okey i truly understood it i told her dont add me i respect your privacy i dont want to disturb you she still added me again i said to remove me she replied "no u can stay" i almost cried that time reading that she had shared morning pics her private id had her childhood pics and some edits of her she shared a lot about her i also shared my childhood pics and almost everything i could
told her about some series she started some series i thought her chess we played together a lot
we promised each other we would never ever leave we will always be together
I have experienced betrayals all over my life. I thought I would never trust anyone ever again.
But she, I don't know who she was, how it happened, I chose her as the last person I would ever trust. I trusted her with everything I believed, and everything she said
We talked for 6+ hrs everyday. Soon, later, I started loving her automatically, no intentions on my own, but I started loving her, not in a romantic way, specifically, but from one human being to another human being
She used to say, "Privacy has to end in our DMs. Share everything about you with me." I really got connected with her. I used to cry out of happiness that my depressing life had been saved. I finally found a person who loved me back for real, rather than just faking it like others. My parents don't care about me; their care was fake. They never ever understood me. She always understood everything about me. She loved me as much as I loved her. She became the closest person I've ever had. We promised once more that we will never leave each other
Later on, she soon found out I was depressed. I told her I had always been in depression "u havent noticed it yet ?? She asked what the reason was. I told her it was family problems, but I could not disclose the details. She also had her own issues; we were relatable in almost everything, from our thoughts about novels to having the same interests. Some parts of our lives were also similar. She, too, had a private family problem she could not disclose, but we loved each other in the same way. She became my soul, my everything, my reason to live – she was everything to me.
I told her, just like that, that I was crying because of depression for the first time on that day, which was why I replied late. She said, "You were crying? Why did you not message me?" Little did she know, I cried almost every day because of pain and depression, but after I met her, it happened much less often.
I had attempted suicide five or six times before meeting her. I was in a severe stage of depression; my health was deteriorating. I have a serious problem in my back, brain, back of my head, and neck. My parents do not care much about me. She gave me a reason to live.
One day, I told her I was in too much pain and that if I did not reply in the morning, she should consider that I was no more. She kept checking her phone the whole day, even though she was out with her family. I cried that day, wondering how I could ever think of suicide when I had someone like her to care for me. Everything with her felt real.
I told her I barely ate anything; sometimes I did not eat for days because of depression and health issues.
She always told me to eat. She was my reason to live. She was the one who truly cared for me. She once said she would ask every day whether I had eaten or not, even though she did not ask a single time after that. But it is okay; she forgot.
Soon after, her behaviour changed a little; she started talking less, and her attitude became somewhat opposite. I knew something was wrong. I asked her two or three times, but she did not say much. Eventually, out of anger, she finally said it. She told me, "You think we are in a relationship. We are not. You may see me that way, but I do not." She even said, "I WILL LEAVE YOU."
It is true that I loved her, but not in a romantic way. My health was deteriorating; I could not even think of making love or being romantic with anyone. I had a serious problem in the back of my head and neck, which could have taken my life at any moment. How could I even think of someone in that way? I told her about it, but I became extremely depressed. That day, when she said she would leave me, I attempted suicide. Because of my condition, if I force my neck down and press it mentally, my chances of survival decrease. I did that three times in two days, and my problem worsened significantly.
Soon after, I found out she had even removed me from her second account. I cried that day and made a third serious suicide attempt. Later that night, she replied that her brother wanted to see that account, and she did not want him to see any male followers, which is why she removed me. I stopped immediately. That was the last time I was on her second account.
My grandfather began to notice that something was very wrong with me; he even started crying. Even my father, who barely ever cared, cried in front of the doctor. My problem had become that serious after those attempts.
She was angry for quite some time. At that moment, I really wished we had the same gender, so at least our love would have remained the same and she would not have had to say such things.
After some time, I told her my problem had become serious and that I would go to the hospital today. Again, she asked me to share the report. I was shocked – does she care? She was literally the reason I was going to hospital, but I did not tell her that. I directly asked if she would care, and she said, "Obviously, who would not?" I was happy for the first time in a very long while. We got back together, and I started smiling again. My treatment was ongoing, but she would not add me back on her second account. She had archived some people before adding me, and she added those back. She said those were girls she could not share with me. I respected that.
Later, she was a bit depressed about her family problems. I asked what was wrong and told her she could tell me. She replied, "You do not tell yours." I smiled and said I would tell mine, okay? Before that, we promised once more that we would always be together and that she would share everything about her second account with me, which was not girls. She promised she would. We agreed to tell each other everything. She had never told anyone about it, nor had I. We became each other's first person to disclose these things to.
But before disclosing, I asked her to swear she was not lying just to know my story. That was my biggest mistake, but I still cannot blame myself for it. I attempted suicide because of her. My mind had to process such assumptions and the condition I went through. She got very upset and angry with me for not believing her. Out of anger, she swore, and then we disclosed our stories. Mine was quite big; it had been with me ever since I was born, since my first memory. I only told her 50 percent of my story, then asked her to tell hers before I continued. She told me and gave me proof, but her phone charge ran out before I could continue.Later on, we never discussed that topic again, but her behaviour changed once more. She then refused to send me her second ID and latest posts. I asked why, reminding her that she had promised, and she replied, "Do I have to send everything?" I was shocked – what about the promise?
I knew something was seriously wrong. Finally, after two days, she said, "You asked me to swear – I cannot see you as a good friend again." I asked her what I needed to do to earn her good friendship back. She replied, "Wake up early every day, study hard, eat good food, and do not order anything online." I did everything she asked for days. I even thought of surprising her by studying for 15 hours a day, even though it was not possible due to my health. Because of the pain, I could barely manage four hours a day, but I wanted to push my limits for her. I was willing to do anything to impress her again. I tried for days and kept failing every day. Finally, after almost ten days, I managed to study well, but I was in too much pain that day – far too much.
I kept pushing myself and made it to 12 hours, then took a five-minute rest because of the pain. I suddenly and unconsciously fell asleep; that sleep was out of my control. The pain was so intense that I could not do anything – it was beyond my senses. I woke up directly in the morning, sent her the update about the 12 hours, and then told her about my health, that it had worsened because I pushed my limits, which I was not supposed to do. I was hospitalised at home for three days straight. Her reply was not very much, but she did say thanks afterwards. Still, she would not share her posts or anything. I still cry about that. She promised – it's not that I want to, it is just about promises in the past. I would still do everything to get her back, no matter what she says.
After a few days, she asked, "Will you be free at 10 pm? We will talk." I was not allowed to, but due to my health, I had to sleep early at that time. However, for her, I agreed. I came online at that time, and we talked about her college – just a normal discussion. I thought I would describe my health in detail that day, but she left after just 10 minutes with an unusual goodbye. I became very depressed after that. The next day, she came and apologised. I believed her; I felt in my heart that either her parents had taken her phone or there was some emergency, because I had already told her I was sacrificing my sleep schedule for that conversation. Instead, she said she was upset about a family problem, which was why she left and just listened to songs instead.
While I was here crying until 1 a.m., she was listening to songs. I fell into a deep depression again. She acknowledged it, but she never realised my worth or what I have done for her so far, or what I am still willing to do. I wrote down everything I did for her, even mentioning my three suicide attempts, which have reduced my chances of survival. She apologised sincerely, and I believed her again, even though she still would not share the posts she had promised. I was okay with it, but I asked once more if I was forgiven for that swear thing. She said, "I guess so, yes." A few days later, I asked about her picture that was on her highlight cover. She refused to share it. At first, I thought she was joking, because I have already seen everything of her, but she was serious. She actually replied, "Why should I send it? It is my choice." I was shocked and cried the whole day in depression because of it. I even thought about attempting suicide again, but I stopped because of my father and grandfather.
I still cry and wonder why she will not share it, what happened, and why she broke her promise. I have done so much for her, even sacrificed my life by pushing myself, yet I get this response. I do not know what to do. She was the last person I trusted. It is not about the picture; it is about the promise.
what happened to her i kept asking still no reply to that I MISS HER a lot
i wrote to her
"If u ever have to hate me
NOTE THAT
U will never ever find a person who valued u as much i did
U will never find a person who would be ready to stay awake for you whole night despite next day having an important function of his own
No one will ever do as much i have done u will never find a person who will know ur family story i did "
To whom will i share funny stories to whom will i share my life problems to whom will i share what i have made today to eat
If not you
I do not even know what to do now. I am in my dark room alone, just thinking about her and past memories. She literally said, "Do not you think it is my wish to send whatever I want?" She has forgotten who I am. I told her on the first day not to add me to her private account if she had one. I seriously did not want to disturb her comfort. Why would I ask for the picture if she was not who she was to me? It is not in my character. The important thing was the promise, not the picture. She was the same person to whom I told my private story, even though she never asked for the rest since that day. She was the same person for whom I attempted suicide three times. She was the same person who promised she would share everything, even from her private account. She was the person for whom I sacrificed so much. It is not about a relationship; my health is still deteriorating. I cannot think about it. It is just the simple love of one human being for another.
I will still do everything she says to get her old self back. I do not know what happened, but I am completely alone with her memories.
Memories of the time when she promised she would share everything – those memories. I do not know what happened to her.
My health is deteriorating. I do not know how long I will survive. Maybe, by some miracle in the future, I will actually be fine for my lifetime.
even today when i get notification in my phone i only wish its her msg and no one else nothing else
she was my last friend last person i trusted yet i got betrayed i cried for whole day i cant live in this hell of everything its kalyug 💔
I WILL STILL DO EVERYTHING TO GET HER BACK AS A GOOD FRIEND WE USED TO BE