A/N: if you think about it, Yuji ate a 1000-year-old demon finger and instead of dying he unlocked character DLC 💀.
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Sleep, in my new life, was a chaotic affair.
I dreamed of swirling vortices and the taste of despair seasoned with regret. Great Sage, it turned out, didn't sleep. It spent the night running diagnostics and compiling what it called a [Baseline Threat Assessment] of the entire campus.
[03:14: Individual 'Satoru Gojo' detected leaving premises via rapid spatial traversal. Destination unknown. Likelihood of responsible behavior: 12.3%.]
[05:47: Cursed Energy signature 'Rika Orimoto' detected in a state of high agitation in the eastern dormitory wing. Fluctuations suggest emotional distress. Proximity to individual 'Yuta Okkutsu' confirmed.]
[06:30: Individual 'Maki Zenin' began rigorous physical training in the courtyard. Heart rate, muscle engagement, and efficiency metrics are being logged for future reference. Note: Her morning routine involves a series of stretches that demonstrate exceptional flexibility. Data filed under 'Non-Combat Applications - Further Study Required'.]
I woke up to the sound of a wooden thock against stone and the feeling that my brain had been used as a hacky-sack. Sunlight streamed through the paper screen door. For a disorienting second, I expected to see my old room, my laptop humming with unfinished forum arguments. Instead, I saw bare tatami and the silhouette of a person outside my door.
"Up, newbie!" a voice called. It was Maki. It wasn't a friendly wake-up call. It was a decree. "Gojo-sensei's 'placement test' is in thirty minutes. Be in the main training field. Don't be late."
Her footsteps receded. I groaned, sitting up. My body felt... different. Not stronger, precisely, but denser. The hum of Cursed Energy under my skin was a constant, low-grade buzz. Great Sage helpfully displayed a status screen in my vision.
[Host: Kaito Ishiguro]
Cursed Energy Reserves:Low-Tier Grade 3
Base Physique:Below Average (Optimization in Progress: 1.4%)
Acquired Techniques:None (Discarded: 'Mild Food Poisoning Aura')
Digestion Progress:'Lingering Lunch Regret' - 100% Complete. Energy assimilated.
"Optimization in progress?" I mumbled, stretching and hearing a concerning pop in my shoulder.
[Predator's passive function. Consumed matter and energy are used to gradually enhance host's physical parameters to peak human efficiency. Current projection to reach 'Adequate' fitness level: 14 days, assuming consistent caloric and cursed energy intake.]
"So I need to eat more curses to get buff faster. Got it. A truly demonic workout plan."
[Correct. Now, it is recommended you locate sustenance. The panda-shaped entity is cooking something in the communal kitchen. The olfactory data suggests 'edible'.]
The communal kitchen was a scene of controlled chaos. Panda, wearing a frilly apron that clashed magnificently with his... everything, was flipping pancakes with surprising dexterity. Toge Inumaki was carefully arranging tiny bowls of what looked like high-grade fish flakes and pickled plums. Maki was already there, sipping miso soup and reading a weapons catalog, completely ignoring the culinary circus.
"Morning, Kaito!" Panda boomed, flipping a pancake high into the air. It spun, landed perfectly back in the pan. "Hope you're hungry! Big day! Placement test! Gojo loves making those... memorable."
"Ikura," Toge said, pointing to a vacant seat with his chin. (Sit.)
I sat, feeling like an interloper. Maki didn't look up from her catalog. "Don't choke. It'd be a pathetic way to go."
"Noted," I said, accepting a stack of pancakes from Panda. They were perfectly golden. "Uh, thanks. So, this test... what does it usually involve?"
Panda shrugged, a massive movement. "Oh, you know. Gojo throws something at you. You try not to die. He grades you on style. Last year he had me fight a cursed corpse that could only be damaged by rhyming couplets. It was a whole thing."
[Data insufficient for accurate prediction. However, based on Gojo Satoru's observed pedagogical methods, the test will likely be dangerous, illogical, and designed to force a visceral reaction from the subject.]
Great. Just great.
As I ate, the door slid open again. A boy shuffled in. He had dark hair, kind, tired eyes, and an aura of profound sadness that seemed to cling to him like a wet coat. He looked about my age, maybe a little younger. He moved quietly, as if trying not to be noticed.
Yuta Okkutsu.
My forum-bred instinct to mutter "fraud watch" warred with the palpable, soul-crushing grief rolling off him in waves. He looked like a strong breeze would knock him over.
"Morning, Yuta!" Panda said, his voice softening just a fraction.
Yuta managed a small, fragile smile. "Good morning, Panda-san. Inumaki-san. Zenin-san." His eyes landed on me, widening slightly in surprise.
"Ah! New guy, this is Yuta! Yuta, this is Kaito! He eats curses!" Panda announced, as if that was a normal introduction.
Yuta blinked. "Eats... them?"
"Literally," Maki said, finally looking up. She eyed Yuta with a scrutiny that wasn't unkind, just assessing. "Swallowed a Fourth-Grade whole yesterday. We're all waiting to see if he explodes."
[Individual: Yuta Okkutsu. Assessment in progress. Cursed Energy Reserve: Catastrophically vast. Control: Poor, leaking significantly. Emotional State: Depressed, guilt-ridden. Attached Spirit: 'Rika'. Bond: Cursed Vow. Threat Level: Variable, from 'None' to 'Cataclysmic'.]
[Initial Fraudulence Probability Assessment: Inconclusive. Power is not fraudulent. Application and mindset, however, are deeply suboptimal. A classic case of 'All the Gear, No Idea'. Observation recommended.]
Yuta bowed slightly to me. "It's nice to meet you, Ishiguro-san."
"Just Kaito is fine," I said, my mouth full of pancake. I swallowed. "And... yeah. I eat them. Don't recommend the taste."
A ghost of something almost like humor touched his eyes. "I'll... keep that in mind."
The meal continued in awkward silence, broken only by Panda's cheerful commentary and the occasional "Salmon" from Toge. I watched Yuta out of the corner of my eye. He picked at his food. He flinched at small sounds. He was a raw nerve in human form. Calling this guy a fraud felt like kicking a wounded puppy. A puppy that could, theoretically, level a city.
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Main Training Field
The field was a vast, sandy expanse surrounded by tall wooden fences and layered barriers that made the air hum. Gojo was already there, leaning against a fence post, munching on an actual Kit Kat bar. He waved as we approached.
"Morning, my wonderful, doomed students! Ready for show and tell?"
Maki, Toge, and Panda fell into a loose line. Yuta hung back slightly, his hands shoved in his pockets. I stood awkwardly to the side, feeling like a lab rat about to be dropped into a maze.
"Today's feature presentation is our new munchkin, Kaito!" Gojo announced, pointing his half-eaten chocolate bar at me. "We've seen he can eat small fries. But can he chew something with a little more... crunch?" He grinned. "Panda! You're up!"
Panda lumbered forward, cracking his knuckles. "Alright! Don't worry, Kaito! I'll go easy on you!"
[Opponent: Panda. Cursed Corpse, Core Type: Unknown. Physical Strength: Grade 3. Techniques: Unknown. Recommended Engagement: Defensive. Use Predator as last resort. Consuming a fellow student is considered 'poor form' and would negatively impact social integration metrics.]
"Great Sage, you're a lifesaver," I muttered.
"Talking to yourself already!" Gojo cheered. "A sign of genius or insanity! Let's find out! Begin!"
Panda didn't charge. He moved with a deceptive, fluid grace, closing the distance in two long strides. A fist, big as a dinner plate, came at my head. It wasn't a killing blow, but it would definitely knock me into next week.
Instinct took over. Not my instinct. Great Sage's.
[Duck left. Pivot on right foot. His center of gravity is high. Sweep the lead leg.]
My body moved before I could think. I dropped, the air whistling where my head had been. My foot shot out, hooking behind Panda's ankle. It was like kicking a tree trunk. He didn't fall, but he grunted, thrown off balance.
"Oho! Not bad!" Panda recovered, swinging a backhand. [Weave inside the swing. Strike solar plexus. Open palm, not fist. You lack bone density.]
I stepped into the blow, the fuzzy arm brushing my back as I drove the heel of my palm into the soft junction between his chest plates.
THUMP.
Panda let out a surprised "Oof!" and took a step back. He looked down at where I'd hit him, then back at me, his bead eyes wide. "Hey! You've trained!"
"No," I panted, my heart hammering. "I'm just... good at following instructions!"
Maki's eyes narrowed behind her glasses. She'd seen it. The way I moved wasn't trained. It was too precise, too reactive. It was like watching someone dance to a song only they could hear.
[He is analyzing your movements. Switching to grappling. Next attack will be a bear hug. When he commits, drop your weight and use 'Uki Waza', the floating drop. The panda is top-heavy.]
Sure enough, Panda lunged, arms wide for a crushing embrace. As he committed, I stepped forward as if to meet him, then suddenly dropped my whole body weight, pulling him over my shoulder.
For a glorious second, the 200-plus pound cursed corpse was airborne. Then we both crashed into the sand in a tangle of limbs.
I was pinned almost immediately, but I'd broken the hold. I scrambled back, sand in my mouth, adrenaline singing in my veins.
Gojo was clapping slowly. "Marvelous! Absolutely mediocre but with flashes of bizarre competence! It's like watching a chicken do calculus! Now, let's raise the stakes!" He snapped his fingers. "Maki! Your turn! Show him what a real fighter looks like!"
Panda got off me, giving me a respectful pat that felt like being hit by a bag of cement. "You're slippery, kid! I like it!"
Maki stepped onto the sand, unsheathing her spear with a soft shing. She didn't adopt a flashy stance. She just stood there, the weapon held loosely at her side. Her gaze was flat, analytical. Deadly.
"Go easy on him, Maki!" Panda called. "He's new!"
"I don't do 'easy'," Maki said, her voice cold. "If he dies, he wasn't cut out for this."
[Opponent: Maki Zenin. Threat Level: High. No Cursed Energy to analyze or consume. Pure physicality and weapon mastery. Your predictive capabilities are reduced by 40%. Survival strategy: Evasion. Do not let the spear touch you. A scratch will be leveraged into a debilitating wound.]
"Uh," I said, holding up my hands. "Can we talk about this?"
She moved.
There was no warning lunge, no telegraph. One moment she was ten feet away, the next the tip of her spear was a inch from my throat. I yelped, throwing myself backward. The spear followed, a silver blur. [Left!] I dodged. [Drop!] I hit the sand as the spear swept over my head. [Roll right!] I rolled, feeling the thunk of the spearhead stabbing into the ground where my chest had been.
This wasn't a spar. This was an extermination. She was faster, stronger, and infinitely more skilled. Great Sage could predict, but my body couldn't always keep up. I was a beat behind, scrambling, surviving on pure, panicked reflex.
"Stop running and fight!" Maki snapped, her spear a whirlwind of strikes.
"I'm trying not to die!" I shouted back, barely avoiding a thrust that would have skewered my thigh.
[Her pattern has a slight rhythm. She favors a thrust-retreat-thrust combo when the opponent is off-balance. Feint a stumble on your next backward step.]
I did. I let my foot drag in the sand, my arms wheeling. As predicted, Maki lunged, spear shooting forward in a straight, lethal line.
[Now. Predator. On the shaft.]
It was insane. But it was all I had. As the spear tip came for my heart, I didn't dodge. I opened my mouth.
The aura of absorption flared. It wasn't meant for solid objects, but for cursed energy. The spear itself was just a metal pole. But Maki's intent, her killing focus, the sheer physical force she channeled—it all carried a faint, sharp tang of purpose that Predator could latch onto.
The spear didn't vanish. But the force behind it did. It was like the momentum was siphoned away mid-thrust. The weapon went from a deadly projectile to a clumsy, heavy stick in Maki's hands. Her eyes widened in shock for a split second, her perfect form broken by the sudden lack of resistance.
I slapped the shaft aside with my forearm, wincing at the impact, and stumbled past her, putting distance between us.
Silence.
Maki stared at her spear, then at me. Her expression was no longer just unimpressed. It was deeply, profoundly suspicious.
"What," she said slowly, "was that?"
"I... ate the momentum?" I offered weakly.
Gojo burst out laughing, slapping his knee. "He ate the momentum! He ate the oomph! I've seen it all now!"
[Improvised application of Predator successful. Efficiency: 18%. Not recommended for repeated use against non-cursed targets. Energy cost high for minimal tactical gain.]
Maki's glare could have frozen lava. She resheathed her spear with a violent snap. "Cheap trick."
"It kept me alive," I shot back, my fear giving way to a spark of irritation.
She held my gaze for a long moment, then snorted and turned away. "You're still dead in a week."
But something had changed. I'd surprised her. In this world, that might be the first step to not being completely irrelevant.
"Alright! Intermission over!" Gojo chirped, wiping a laugh-tear from under his blindfold. "Final act! The piece de resistance! The main event! Yuta, my boy! Come on down!"
Yuta flinched as if struck. He looked from Gojo to me, panic flashing in his eyes. "G-Gojo-sensei? I don't think... I shouldn't..."
"Nonsense! Kaito needs to see the full spectrum! From the bottom," Gojo gestured at me, "to the very, very tippy-top!" He pointed at Yuta. "Don't worry! No Rika! Just a little friendly cursed energy exchange! Show him what real reserves look like!"
Yuta looked like he was going to be sick. But he stepped onto the sand, shoulders hunched. "I'm... sorry about this, Kaito."
[Primary Subject for Fraudulence Assessment: Engaging.]
[Caution: Even without the external spirit, his raw output is orders of magnitude greater than yours. Do not attempt to absorb a direct attack. You will rupture.]
"Just... go easy on me, man," I said, raising my hands again.
Yuta nodded. He took a deep, shaky breath and raised his own hand. Cursed Energy gathered around it—not a technique, just raw, concentrated power. It was dark, thick, and heavy. The air grew cold. Sand stirred around his feet. The sheer volume of it was staggering. My own meager reserves cowered inside me.
"Here... goes." He pushed his hand forward.
A wave of pure, dense cursed energy, visible as a distortion in the air, surged toward me. It wasn't fast. It wasn't fancy. It was just a tidal wave of oppressive, negative force.
No amount of predictive analysis could get me out of its path. It was too wide.
[No viable evasion. Defensive option: Predator. Not on the energy itself—it is too dense. Target the 'intent' behind the wave's leading edge. Dilute it. Create a hole.]
It was a stupid, desperate plan. As the wave loomed, I focused not on the energy, but on the "front" of it, the conceptual leading edge of Yuta's hesitant, guilty attack. I opened my mouth and pulled.
The effect was visual and bizarre. The advancing wall of darkness developed a swirling, vortex-like distortion directly in front of me. A chunk of its cohesive force was unraveled, sucked into the void of Predator. The wave didn't stop, but it split around me, passing by in two roaring cascades that kicked up plumes of sand.
When it cleared, I was standing in a narrow trench of undisturbed ground, coughing, my ears ringing. My stomach felt like I'd chugged a gallon of liquid nitrogen.
Yuta stared, his hand still outstretched, his expression one of pure shock. He'd expected to knock me down, maybe out. He hadn't expected me to stand there, having taken a bite out of his attack.
Gojo was silent for once Then he whistled, long and low. "Well, well, well. Would you look at that. The curse-eater can eat more than just curses. He can take a nibble out of anything with a cursed energy signature." He sauntered over, looming over me. "Interesting. Very, very interesting. You're not just a vacuum cleaner, Kaito. You're a counter. A hard counter to a lot of very annoying techniques."
He grinned, all teeth. "Congratulations! You pass! With a solid 'C' for 'Confusing as Hell'! Welcome officially to Jujutsu Tech!"
I bent over, hands on my knees, trying not to throw up the phantom taste of Yuta's profound, guilt-ridden sadness. It was a flavor far more complex and bitter than Lingering Lunch Regret.
[Assessment Update: Yuta Okkutsu. Fraudulence Probability: Revised downward to 5%. The power is devastatingly real. The wielder, however, is crippled by conscience. A tragic, inefficient combination. Observation ongoing.]
As I straightened, I caught Maki's eye. She was watching me, that analytical look back on her face. No longer just suspicious. Now, it was calculating.
And Yuta... he was looking at me with something new. Not fear, not pity. A faint, fragile flicker of... recognition? Of seeing someone else who was also a walking anomaly?
Gojo clapped his hands together, breaking the moment. "Alright! Dismissed! Kaito, with me. We need to have a little chat about dietary restrictions and why you probably shouldn't try to eat a Special Grade on your first date. The rest of you, go clean something! Or brood dramatically! You do you!"
As the others filed out, Yuta paused as he passed me. He spoke softly, so only I could hear. "You... you made it smaller. How?"
I looked at him, this sad, powerful boy who the internet meme'd as a fraud. "I just got a really impatient stomach," I said.
A tiny, almost imperceptible smile touched his lips. It vanished as quickly as it came, but it was there. "Be careful," he murmured. "It's... dangerous. Having something like that inside you."
He walked away, leaving me with Gojo and the echo of his warning.
From one monster to another, I guess.
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Word Count: ~3,000
A/N: finally chapter 2 is complete, was the fighting scenes in this chapter good?. Btw what do you think about great sage being all sassy and stuff 💀🙏. ( throw some stones if you want to see more chapters )