Ash wanted to touch the ghost. Wanted to see if it was really Amelia standing there in front of him. He tried to force himself into a crawl with his knees, scuttling as close as possible.
Amelia turned around, walking away and vanishing at the same time. Ash hurried his crawl to catch her before she left again.
"No! Don't go, don't leave me alone again. Momma!"
Ash pleaded. Even if she were his sister-in-law, to him Amelia would always be his adoptive mother, just as Isaac was his father, despite them being brothers.
Amelia disappeared, and Ash froze in complete disbelief. His head changed back to normal, his eyes blank and lifeless. The hand that reached out dropped, shaking at first till both of them tightened into fists. Ash let out a pained wail as he slapped himself hysterically. He dropped his face to the floor, holding his hands in his palms as his fingers pulled on his hair.
He wept in his fetal position, no tears but the sounds and emotions as real as they were to any human.
"I'm sorry, so sorry. Forgive me. Don't leave me all alone again. Please come back."
Ash didn't know if he would be heard; he just wanted to get it out.
Ash stayed in his pathetic state for a few minutes, refusing to move an inch, even with the sounds of his stomach growing louder and more violent. The system tried to warn him that his hunger had entered starvation mode. If it continued, he would not only cease to exist, but if a new host weren't found in time, then the Darkmold would break from how badly weakened it was.
Ash ignored the warning and the hunger pains. He wouldn't budge at all from his shock.
Ash just wanted to die, lie there like a waste, and die. Hands wrapped around him from behind; suddenly, Ash turned his head to see who was grabbing him. Sitting behind him with the warmest and gentlest expression, Amelia didn't look disappointed; her expression was that of a mother caring for her child. Ash immediately tried to hug her back, but it didn't work; he fell through her, forgetting she was a ghost and not real.
Ash hurt more; he was denied a moment of tenderness he desperately wanted. Amelia's ghost still placed a hand on his head. Even if Ash couldn't touch her, she tried to comfort him without ruining the mood or upsetting him.
"I can't take it anymore." He told her weakly. "I can't kill another person again. I can't handle this power, I can't even get justice for someone I care about cause I'm too weak to go through with it. I want it to be over, just let it be over with already, I'm done."
Amelia could see the pain in his face. Even with the weapons, uniform, and powers, he still looked like a frightened little kid on the floor, scared out of his mind.
Amelia could feel his pain, and with her ghostly hand, she again emitted a glow, using the light to show Ash her memories.
Ash saw the memories of her being alive, and Isaac did as well, including the hardships they endured to raise Ash after his parents died, and how both of them refused to give up on providing Ash with a stable life. When Isaac came from his first deployment, he had a PTSD attack at night from all the fighting and death he saw from killing Kraegans and his squad mates dying horribly, but chose to overcome it for Ash's sake.
Ash's body stopped twitching from the emotional shock and slowly calmed. He saw the memory of when Isaac and Amelia got their first home with his military benefits shortly before his death, and how proud they were when they thought they had done it by giving Ash the home they had worked hard for before it was taken away from them. After the tragedy, Amelia began to work her various jobs when they were forced to move back to afford a small house to rent, doing her best as a widow and single adoptive mother, even with her heart aching for Isaac and feeling doubts she could raise Ash on her own.
Every memory was chosen from a bad moment in their lives when they could have given up, but alongside how bad it was, there was the motivation not to give up, even with the odds against them.
Ash could feel the warmth of the spectral touch, the inner fire in his heart slowly reigniting from the darkness it had been in.
Amelia couldn't speak; the dead could never talk again as they did when alive. She still mouthed the song she always sang to Ash. Even without the voice escaping her lips, Ash could never forget the love and honesty in his heart; the voice echoed in his thoughts and feelings, letting her song still reverberate inside him.
Ash, with one arm, picked himself up to sit upright. He stared at her again, with clear eyes and not filled with despair at the moment.
"You two, you two were so brave. Just for me, you both worked so hard to care for me. I wanted to live by that example, I wanted to be like you, too. But I can't be you guys; there's too much hate in my heart and so much guilt. So much guilt." Ash looked down for a second, collecting his thoughts before looking at Amelia again with a faint smile.
"But it's my guilt and hate, right? I can't keep letting it weigh me down. I'll keep moving forward, I'll honor this hate I feel, and I'll carry this guilt I feel from Casper, so I'll never let the hunger or the urge to kill in hate make me lose control and kill an innocent again."
Ash lifted a hand to reach Amelia again. She grabbed his hand with both of hers, holding it with acceptance.
"I miss you, I miss you both so much. I wish you were still here." Ash cried to her, not tears from his eyes but one small single flame the size of a wooden match flame sliding down his face in a tear's place before extinguishing once it left his cheek. "But…I'll be ok. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be ok for now. See you again in paradise when I get my soul and head back. Auf Wiedersehen, meine süße Mutter." He told her, choking up the words, trying to get them out. Telling her goodbye, calling her his sweet mother, finally letting her know how much of a maternal mother figure she was to him, and how precious she was.
Amelia, in turn, let out her own sparkling tear from her face before ascending to her eternal rest. Ash rubbed his eyes, his joy at seeing her once more being desperately needed and helpful for his healing inside.
He wasn't aware, but it wasn't divine intervention that brought Amelia back to him. It was the little girl watching from outside the house across the roof of another building. She was holding a lock of Amelia's hair in her hand, which she had dug up before it withered completely away. Glowing in her hand, the hair dissolved once her spell to bring Amelia back was done; her nose began to bleed. She wiped it with her fingers, looking at the fingers stained with her nosebleed without worry, but feeling as if she had done a good deed.
"You owe me for this one, Ash. Some laws I can't even break without consequences. I hope you'll take this gift as a sign not to give up now, and don't let him out."
The little girl was about to leave when she saw lights from private military vehicles approaching the house, Lita's father in one of them, leading them to Ash. She gave a devious smile at the sight before her.
"Well, well, well, I was worried he would starve to death, but now it seems fate has made an opportunity. Happy hunting, Ash, my dark avenger." The little girl giggled before she vanished into the night, enjoying the sight of Ash finally getting the meal he needed badly.