Chapter 354: Kakashi Likes Married Young…
"Naruto, is there something wrong with your brain?"
After listening to Naruto's explanation, Sasuke stayed silent for a long time before finally squeezing out that sentence.
"What do you mean?"
Naruto didn't understand why Sasuke was insulting him out of nowhere.
Though, to be fair, Sasuke used to do that a lot anyway.
"How many people do you think live in Konoha?"
"I don't know."
Then what the hell kind of Hokage are you trying to become?!
Sasuke felt completely drained.
Naruto wanted to be Hokage so badly, yet he didn't know even the most basic things.
How was he supposed to improve like this?
"Anyway… a lot."
Seeing the faint look of disdain in Sasuke's eyes, Naruto awkwardly added an answer.
A lot…
Fine. A lot.
"Since Konoha has a large population, do you really think Utatane Koharu is the only elderly person in the village?"
"Even during wartime, it's impossible that no one lives to old age. Not to mention, this is a time of peace."
Sasuke spoke bluntly, pointing out the flaw in Naruto's logic.
Though honestly, the two of them were about equally ridiculous.
When Naruto learned that Sasuke wanted to kill Utatane Koharu, he didn't think about whether it was wrong to kill someone who appeared innocent. He didn't think about moral arguments or principles.
All he thought about was that Kakashi liked old women, so he needed to leave one for him.
Which meant Sasuke's long, emotional, and logical explanation had been completely wasted.
Even Sasuke, who used to be one of the few relatively normal people in this world, was gradually being influenced.
When Naruto said that Kakashi liked old women, Sasuke's first reaction wasn't to question whether that was even true, or where Naruto got such information.
Instead, he simply accepted it as fact and argued that Konoha had plenty of elderly women for Kakashi to choose from.
But honestly, this wasn't entirely Sasuke's fault.
After all, Kakashi was now famous throughout the ninja world as the author of the "Buff Man" series and the "Limited Tsukuyomi" novels.
Compared to his former reputation as the Copy Ninja, this was like a second rise to fame.
And this time, his fame extended beyond just ninjas, everyone knew his name.
The name "Kakashi" had practically become a symbol, much like "Bai Jie."
So when Naruto claimed that Kakashi liked old women, Sasuke didn't find it strange at all.
At the very least, they were women. And even humans.
That already counted as pretty mild tastes.
…
"Sasuke, what you're saying actually makes sense. Why didn't I think of that earlier?"
Naruto scratched his head in frustration, completely puzzled.
He clearly had the potential to become Konoha's strategist, so why was he falling behind Sasuke even in this?
"Wait, no. I overlooked something!"
Just as Naruto admitted he was wrong, Sasuke suddenly realized something and overturned his own conclusion.
Without waiting for Naruto to ask, Sasuke began analyzing on his own: "You mentioned earlier that Kakashi voluntarily stayed behind with Granny Chiyo from Sunagakure. I didn't react at first because I didn't have enough information."
"Granny Chiyo… isn't she the mother of those two Sunagakure jōnin that Kakashi's father, the White Fang, killed with the Thousand Years of Death?"
"Yeah, that's right. What about it? Are you saying Kakashi-sensei is trying to atone? By having a child with Granny Chiyo to make up for it?"
Naruto tilted his head as he asked.
"Not atonement."
Sasuke shook his head seriously, "Excitement."
"Excitement?"
Naruto blinked.
"In Kakashi's books, he wrote that married people have their own appeal. Scoring a goal when there's already a goalkeeper is what makes it thrilling."
"For example, the Raikage coveting the Fourth Hokage's body, one major reason was that the Fourth Hokage was already married, and married to the Nine-Tails' jinchūriki."
"From that point on, the Fourth Hokage wasn't just the 'Yellow Flash' anymore, he also had the label 'spouse of the Nine-Tails' jinchūriki.'"
"Conquering him would feel like conquering the Nine-Tails itself."
"That's the kind of thrill Kakashi refers to as 'NTR.'"
At this point, Sasuke paused.
"This is just a possibility", he added cautiously. "Just a possibility."
"Maybe… the kind of women Kakashi likes is completely different from what we think…"
(After all, you two don't even like women in the first place!)
"What Kakashi likes might be married young… married older women. Especially women who belong to friends or acquaintances."
"…That actually sounds possible."
Naruto was shocked.
He hadn't expected Sasuke to be even more insightful than him, to think on this level!
Granny Chiyo was someone who hated Kakashi's father, an enemy. Winning over someone like that would definitely be thrilling.
But what about Utatane Koharu?
She was just an ordinary Konoha elder.
For all they knew, if Kakashi made a move, she might jump straight into his bed.
Wasn't this exactly what Kakashi described in his books, scoring without a goalkeeper being meaningless?
"Alright, Naruto. Kakashi-sensei's social connections are too complicated. Even if we investigate, we won't figure everything out quickly. So how about this…"
"I'll go kill Utatane Koharu. That will definitely cause chaos. While everything is in turmoil, you sneak into the ANBU archives and look through the relevant files. Once we gather enough information, we'll definitely find a suitable candidate."
Sasuke laid out his plan.
In reality, Sasuke could have simply used his Mangekyō abilities to peek at the files directly.
He was only doing this to keep Naruto from interfering.
Right now, his heart was as hard as iron. No matter what Utatane Koharu said, he wouldn't show mercy.
But if Naruto followed him and suddenly changed his mind after hearing something strange, it would become troublesome.
"Got it, leave it to me. I'm good at this."
Naruto patted his chest confidently.
After all, his ninja career had started with stealing the Scroll of Seals.
Sneaking into an archive? That would be easy.
The two split up.
Sasuke activated his Tenko (Heavenly Fox) perception to locate Utatane Koharu, only to discover that she was bathing again. He immediately shut it off.
"This old woman really likes staying clean."
Sasuke muttered.
Still, that glance confirmed she was at home. He could just head there directly.
Only then did Sasuke suddenly remember that his mission involved two targets, there was also someone named Mitokado Homura. He had almost forgotten.
Mid-air, Sasuke activated his Susanoo.
The Susanoo drew a bow and nocked an arrow, aiming in a certain direction.
To be fair, the two abilities Sasuke had awakened had turned his Sharingan into something similar to the Byakugan, not entirely useless after all.
Shiromo had set Hanabi's training direction toward using the Byakugan's long-range vision and targeting for ranged attacks.
Sasuke could do something similar.
Although he only had long-range vision without precise targeting, his Susanoo came with a bow and arrows, so he didn't even need to train specifically for long-range combat.
Bang.
A purple arrow shot out, piercing through a small house.
Sasuke began aiming in another direction.
(End of this chapter)