A Memory
The rain drizzled softly, a light mist settling over the city. The dim glow of streetlights stretched along the roads, their golden hue reflecting off the wet pavement. But none of it mattered to her. Her gaze was fixed on one figure.
Through the veil of light rain, she saw him standing near the river, staring at the water as it moved steadily through the city. His long coat clung to him, a coffee cup warming his hands. She admired him for the last time.
The rain grew heavier, but she barely noticed. Not until he turned and walked away. Only then did she realise how cold she was, standing there, staring at him. She quickened her pace, stepping into the nearest café, her clothes damp and her heart heavier than ever.
Letting go was painful. She had always known that. But love-real love wasn't meant to be held on one side alone. She could have stayed and loved him alone. That was okay for her.
But now, she had to think twice before making a choice. There was someone who loved her more than anything. And it wasn't fair to him. So she decided to choose another path. To walk alone for a while.
She could walk that path with the one who wanted to be there for her, who would hold her, let him be the place where she slowly pieced herself back together. But that wouldn't be fair. Not to him.
So, she made the choice.
Not for herself.
For him.
But nothing happens in a single night.
And just like that, she found herself back in the conversation she had with Sethwin only hours ago.
"Tell me, Yunara... is this really your final decision?"
Sethwin's voice was careful, controlled. Like he was trying not to break. His fingers curled around hers, unwilling to let go. He was holding himself back, trying not to hurt her.
"Yes."
She held his gaze, unwavering. But her eyes-her eyes betrayed her. Sethwin must have seen it, too, because he quickly looked away. He hated this-hated that he couldn't do anything for her.
"Why?" His voice cracked, barely above a whisper. "Why can't you try? Try to stay, try to heal-while I'm here? I'm right here, Yaan. I can take care of you. I will take care of you. Why are you pushing me away?"
His voice was breaking like glass. And it cut through her. Her heart clenched. She reached for his hand with both of hers, as if holding it could somehow make this easier. It worked. He calmed down, just a little.
'This feeling is too much. Heavy.'
"Seth... listen to me. I know. I know how you feel. And I am grateful for everything. Every moment you stood by my side, for everything you've done for me. And your... love."
Yunara tried her best not to cry. She held back her tears.
His grip on her hand tightened, as if holding on just a little longer would change her mind. She let out a slow breath, running her thumb over his knuckles, memorising the feel of his warmth.
"You know how long I loved him."
She felt his fingers twitch. A tiny movement, but it carried so much pain.
"Even when I had nothing-no promises, no certainty-I still loved him. And now...It's time to let go. He has someone who loves him dearly. And I don't want to be a shadow in his happiness. I need to let him go completely. I have no regrets. And to do that, I have to learn to be alone."
Sethwin pulled his hand away, but she stopped him.
"When you asked for a place in my life, how could I say yes?" She searched his face, willing him to understand. "I am still lost. And maybe you're right-maybe I could heal if I stayed with you. But would that be fair to you?"
Silence.
Then, almost too quietly, he said, "That doesn't matter. If you were with me, wouldn't you? Staying with you beside me is enough."
A soft, tired smile crossed her lips. He was so stubborn when it came to her. Like a child.
"I can't do that, Seth."
She saw it then-the way his expression shifted, the moment he realised there was no changing her mind.
"Love should be whole, Seth. It should be real. And I can't use you as a way to fix myself. I don't want to wake up one day and realise I only leaned on you because I didn't know how to stand on my own. That wouldn't be fair to you, no matter what you say."
"And what if, one day, even you are no longer here? If I depend on you now, and then lose you too... what will I have left? Will I survive? You know I have no one to rely on now. Let me learn how to take care of myself properly."
His breathing was unsteady, but he said nothing.
"Life is uncertain. And I need time. Let me heal alone, Seth. Please."
She waited.
Then, finally-
"Tomorrow... will you let me leave without looking back? Without regrets?"
He didn't answer.
Instead, he pulled her into his arms. Tight. Desperate.
And she-she let herself sink into it. Just for a moment.
After all, this was the person who had been there for her through all her ups and downs. Her shadow.
She closed her eyes, memorising the way it felt to be held by someone who had been there, quietly, through everything.
But she had already made her choice.
She had to leave.
When she came back, he might not be there anymore.
"Save a place for me in your heart."
That was all he asked when he finally let go.
She nodded, lowering her gaze so he wouldn't see the tears. All she wanted now was a quiet place to break down, to cry until there was nothing left.
"I'll drop you at the apartment," Sethwin said out of habit. As if it were just another night. Just a few more hours. Just a few more minutes. Pretending he hadn't just watched her slip away.
"No, Seth. I need to walk for a bit. I leave in the morning-there's no point pretending to sleep. I'll text you when I get there."
"I'll come to the airport."
It wasn't a question. It was his last request. Like he just wanted to see her one more time.
"No... I mean... please don't."
Her voice was too quick and broke at the end. And he understood. This was just as hard for her as it was for him.
A long pause.
Then-
"Alright. Be safe."
She gave him one last smile before turning away.
"Yaan-"
She stopped. Turned back. She recognised that voice. He rarely called her Yaan like that.
"One day... come stand in front of me again."
There was something in his eyes-a quiet hope, a silent plea.
She hesitated, then nodded. Barely.
"Sure. If that's what you want. If you wait for me."
And for the first time that night, Sethwin smiled. Just a little.
She turned away, walking into the night.
Even without looking back, she knew he was still standing there, watching her. Holding on, until she was gone.
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Sometimes Memories are the best truth teller