🔶 POV: Alex (Third-Person)
Alex enjoys himself in a way no cosmic entity should.
He watches Zoro test the welded chair again.
A wiggle.A twist.A violent jerk.
The metal holds.
Zoro snarls.
This is attempt number five.
Attempt number five is one attempt too many.
Alex lifts one finger.
"Alright, you little gremlin.I did warn you."
Zoro freezes.
Too late.
Alex snaps.
Reality bends.
Light swirls.
Zoro shrinks.
Shrinks.
Shrinks.
A puff of dimensional distortion—
🔶 POV: Zoro (First-Person)
"WHAT—WHAT DID YOU—HEY—HEY—DON'T—DON'T YOU—"
My voice gets higher.
Then deeper again.
Then—
I look down.
WHY ARE MY HANDS SO SMALL!?
WHY AM I WEARING—
BABY CLOTHES!?
NO.NO NO NO NO NO NO—
"I SWEAR TO GOD YOU FACELSS—PUT ME BACK RIGHT NOW!!!"
My arms flail.
My legs kick.
I'm in a BABY CHAIR.
A METAL BABY CHAIR.
A METAL BABY CHAIR WELDED TO THE FLOOR.
OH MY GOD—
🔶 POV: Alex (Third-Person)
He gives Baby Zoro a bib.
A pastel one.
With tiny swords on it.
Then summons a Hive-member dressed like a nanny:
Apron.Bonnet.Rattle.Gigantic spoon.
Baby Zoro's soul leaves the building.
Alex says cheerfully:
"See? Told you.Don't make me get the Hive nanny again."
The nanny pats Zoro's head.
Zoro screams.
🔶 POV: Sanji (First-Person)
I collapse.Fully collapse.
This is the single greatest humiliation Zoro has ever suffered.
I want to FRAME THIS MOMENT.
🔶 POV: Nami (First-Person)
I am crying.
Tears rolling down my face.
Baby Zoro is real.This is happening.This is canon now.
🔶 POV: Usopp (First-Person)
He's a baby.
He's an ACTUAL talking baby.
I can't breathe.
🔶 POV: Robin (First-Person)
This is art.
This is poetry.
This is the peak of comedy.
🔶 POV: Luffy (First-Person)
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!ZORO'S A BABYYYYYYY!!"
Best day ever.
🔶 POV: Naruto (First-Person)
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!HE LOOKS LIKE KONOHAMARU DID WHEN HE GOT HIT BY MY JUTSU!"
🔶 POV: Goku (First-Person)
"Oooh!He looks like Goten when he got mad!"
🔶 POV: Vegeta (First-Person)
This is…Actually amazing.
Ridiculous.
And amazing.
🔶 POV: Sakura (First-Person)
Watching a baby scream in a grown man's voice is…surprisingly healing.
🔶 POV: Alex (Third-Person)
Satisfied with the chaos he forged,Alex leans against the counter, arms folded.
Time for another reveal.
Everyone has recovered from laughter—barely.
So Alex says:
"Since the Omniverse is infinite…logically speaking,there exist universes where all of you—Naruto, Luffy, Goku, every one of you—are fictional characters."
The room goes silent.
He continues in a clean, scientific tone:
"Some universes in the Omniverse simulate others.Some write stories based on others.Some run projected timelines that unknowingly reflect real worlds."
"And with infinite worlds,the probability of each of you existing as fictionis effectively…guaranteed."
People stare.
Horror creeping in.
But his tone is so matter-of-fact, so calm, so academicthat the dread becomes muted—less crippling, more…thought-provoking.
The reactions are immediate.
🔶 POV: Bulma (First-Person)
…This makes sensemathematically.
I hate that it makes sense.
🔶 POV: Kakashi (First-Person)
I knew we lived in a world where logic didn't apply,but THIS?
This is a new one.
🔶 POV: Jiraiya (First-Person)
So does that mean MY bookscould be real somewhere else!?
🔶 POV: Sakura (First-Person)
Does this mean people WATCH US DO STUPID THINGS!?
🔶 POV: Usopp (First-Person)
I hope the versions of me in other worlds are cooler.
🔶 POV: Sanji (First-Person)
Why did he say it in such a NORMAL tone!?
🔶 POV: Vegeta (First-Person)
I REFUSE to believesome universe views meas anything less than royalty.
🔶 POV: Naruto (First-Person)
…does someone out there watch me eat ramen?
🔶 POV: Luffy (First-Person)
Does that mean someone watches me poop too?
(Screams from everyone.)
🔶 POV: Alex (Third-Person)
Alex nods, pleased.
"Yes. That is how infinite cosmology works.Isn't it funny?"
The entire room:
"NO."
Alex:
"…boring."
He turns Baby Zoro's baby chair slightly so he faces the table.
Zoro growls in tiny baby rage.
Alex smiles.
Tonight is perfect.