TRIGGER WARNING MENTIONS SUICIDE
"I can't see your face like this" I whispered sweetly, playing along to the devil's tune letting him believe
whatever stupid narrative he had created up in his imagination, probably believing that whatever pathetic
fantasy he had created would come true. And I would play the fool in whatever scenario he came up with,
so who was I? if not to do what any other rational person would in mt situation, I'd play along as flawlessly
as I could and make it even more heartfelt and touching than this bastard could ever have dreamt of. Yeah
fuck no, that bitch he has in his fantasy isnt me, never was and never will be and this poor bastard was
about to soon learn i'm a force to be reconded with. A real sweet treat if i do say so myself a kind of dish
severed hot and yet still cold a dish you will never fucking forget, a once in a lifetime kind of taste you'll
crave. As Ash twisted me around effortlessly in a 360 turn, ever so swiftly in just a single move, quick
enough to make your head spin but not quick enough for me to throw up all over him. Taking a deep
breathe knowing the games had just begun, I slowly looked up to see Ash's stoic face that showed a slight
glow in his eyes as if they had washed over with tears showing his relief and causing a sudden giddy feeling
to tingle throughout my entire body. As suddenly as the change came it changed back to detached so I was
willing to degrade myself into the girl he once knew yet the truth was far from that, the girl he knew and
dreamed of was long dead all that remained was rage. Ash's lips slightly parted as he sucked a tight breath
of air in causing a slight whistle, as I gently placed both of my palms against his firm and warm chest only
to tilt my chin upwards slightly and give my biggest pitiful puppy dog eyes all while putting on my most
innocent look. Studying his expression as his jaw tighten and his lips slammed back onto eachother forming
into a thin line and his face go back to no emotions and yet it only made his facial features even more
prominent. His eyes sudden flashed with what looked like pure unwavering lust and desire but just as
quickly as the emotions came they vanished. Fluttering my eyes slowly while looking up at him, letting him
see me as some sort of weak, submissive princess, while making myself look as fragile as I possibly could
without showing signs of my internally gagging. Making my cheeks flush rosy red from either adrenaline or
the rush of blood from the sudden urge of wanting to throw up all over ash. Knowing the rosy tint to my
cheeks would help me look either embarrassed or shy letting a vile idea to creep forward in my mind.
Before ash could say a word i parted my lips slightly letting out a soft whimper followed by a short soft
moan making it seem as the sounds had escaped my lips accidentally only to look up at him. Only to follow
through by biting down on my lower lip ever so softly before flashing a slightly embarrassed yet sweet
innocent smile once more. As i reached my arms around his neck and shiftied to stand on my tippytoes
before moving to his ear causing Ash to stiffen into a statue "You truly are a pathetic fucking bastard" i
growled before placing my feet back on the ground and placing my hands back onto his chest letting the
audience slowly grow with passerbyers who started to walk down the halls probably getting ready to go toc
there classes. A sudden poof like bubble orb started to come towards us leaving enough distance but close
enough to see and hear everything. It was a canosphere a sphere that would broadcast announcements and
videos a smirk played along my lips as i placed my head onto ash's chest making it look as if we were
cuddling while watching him as he finally looked down at me with his eyes wide, his mouth now a straight
line, eyebrows furrowed as if the world had just flipped upside down making it seem as if the words "I'm so
confused" had been tattooed all over his face. Anger erupted inside as if a thread had just been cut even
though it was the remaining thread that held everything together. A fuzzy like warmth spread across my
palms and suddenly Flames erupted out of my hands onto his chest causing him to groan in agony ever so
softly, only for ash to forcibly pull me closer into his body and tightening his grip causing me to exhale
sharply from the sudden pain on my arms knowing his grip would leave bruises on me. "Please stop this
princessa you're injured you'll hurt yourself more" Ash whispered as he tilted his head down lower letting
his lips trace the top of my left ear, A dizzy spill hit me followed by a nauseating feeling, my vision comingin and out of a blur and the recent sudden blood loss causing me to sway and fall slightly into his arms
more, if he weren't holding onto me I would have fallen backwards for sure. The anger stopped for only a
second only to flare back up as if it were trying to eat me alive causing everything in me to scream forcefully,
it was too late now I couldn't stop, no I wouldn't stop, I refused to stop even if it meant killing myself in the
process. Suddenly a bright warm orange sunkissed colour light lit up coming from out of my chest where
my children's names were engraved and a sharp, burning sensation alongside a crushing weight to spread
through my left ribs making it hard to breath and a stabbing pain to spread closer to my heart, probably
the phoenix curse I had put on myself when i found out i was pregnant flaring up trying to stop me from
using my powers since that was the only trigger. I couldn't care about the pain, I just wanted this all to stop,
I needed these memories to vanish, The nightmares to end, I couldn't take seeing the shadows of my
children running around and playing as if they were right there in front of me only for them to vanish the
second i got to close, The loneliness had swallowed me whole but refused to digest me, Never letting my
pain and suffering end just endless tourchure and torment. I wanted my blood to run cold, This all needed
to end, I wanted him to suffer like I had, I wanted to watch him break down from the grief that ate at him, I
wanted him to self-district like I consistently did, I wanted him to question why he was still alive, why they
died and not him. With every new thought that came into my mind the flames became stronger and the
heat became hotter befor transforming into boiling hot asngry lava. The flames changed from red to purple
into a dark blue as the anger grew the stronger my resentment became, my flames becoming strong enough
to kill anyone and destroy kingdoms. Not realizing the change of colour to my flames, not comprehending
why the flames were changing colour and showing my emotions to all around me. As my flames heated and
changed colour so did my hair making my hair change from red to dark blue and now everyone would know
that my powers were connected to my emotions. My emotions had been hidden for far too long with my
facade cracking, my mask slipping, my walls forcibly crumbling apart in chunks and suddenly my emotions
were out in the open for all to see, to judge, to know but i didnt care. I was showing off the depression
which I couldn't control without medication keeping my thoughts at bay, The medication I used to have
and take daily on earth, but those ingredients needed to make them only existed on planet earth. As my
emotions flared, so did the phoenix curse showing the healing powers that I had always relied on while on
resi to disappear and vanish, taking back every wound it had healed and hidden while when on earth they
wouldn't fade or leave my skin and would only look worse over time. I had to stop but it was far to late as
gasp after gasp escaped my lips causing sweat to drip from my forehead only to fill the room with heavy
breathing and a overwhelming pressure to fall onto my shoulder's, finally looking down at my arms only to
see all the self harm inflicted cut's and burn's that covered my skin. The scars ranged from deep to light,
from long straight lines going up my wrist and some short going from side to side, some burns large from
pouring boiling water onto my skin and others small from putting cigarettes out on my skin, all my scars i
had hidden now on display for all to see. The healing powers I had always taken advantage of and once
made old scars look invisible to others had stopped working, the powers just straight up vanished at the
worst possible time but i wouldn't stop, no i couldnt not till he was dead. A blood curdling scream left my
lips as my vision flashed with a bright white light there i stood over a freshly turned dirt pile in an
approximate space of 30 inches width by 87 inches long in length, the earth still yet quiet and in front of
me there wasn't one but two dirt piles by the same width and length proximity, an overwhelming burden
like guilt built inside me. If I had known what I knew now I would have tried harder to protect my babies,
The regret that ate at me with every second. My thoughts raced from "they were never able to feel the heat
of a phoenix and never will, They didn't get a traditional Royal Arch send off, they never got to learn what
magic they had and let alone how to use it, and i never got to see them run in the field i grew up in where i
wanted to show them most back home" another bright white flash. I was sitting inside a deep bathtub with
numerous empty alcohol bottles scattered all over the the tiled marble floor some broken with glassscattered and some laid bare on the floor, the bath full of water slowly overflowing over the edge, looking
over to the right only to see a broken mirror that looked like it had been punched one too many times but
somehow managed to still be partially intact. Blood covered the mirror, the marble floor, the porcelain sink
that sat only a few inches under the mirror, The black and white marble tiled walls were stained with a deep
red that seemed to have been a liquid before drying, it had an overwhelming metallic smell, it was blood,
blood seemed to be everywhere almost making the gorgeous model home like bathroom to look like a
murder scene, the blood ranged from being in puddles to droplets. Looking back up ever so slightly to fix
my gaze to the mirror for a white piece of paper that seemed to look like a note stuck in the top left hand
corner and a picture directly across in the top right hand corner of the mirror that had faded slightly, the
photo was so washed and faded i couldnt even make out the faces in it but there were 3 people in front of
disneyland gates it must have been my babies last birthday trip, the birthday trip i would never forget the
day my son died only for my daughter to take her own life hours later. My gaze drifted down to the
porcelain sink where 5 empty washed out orange almost yellow pill bottles scattered with no labels, just
empty bottles that were the same colour as an old man's pee who stopped drinking water years ago, looking
back into the tub where I sat submerged in scolding hot water. Watching the tap in front of my feet run and
water start to overflow and flood off of the bath tubs edges and started to flood on the floor, looking down
to see my skin had turned red raw as if my skin had been scolded and a flowy drenched white lace dress
seemed to dance in the water that surrounded me. My arms exposed only to be placed perfectly and sat on
my lap with deep self-inflicted injuries, both the center of my wrists were slit roughly 5 inches long and 3
inches deep, still open and bleeding into the water. There sat a jagged blunt razor blade on the edge of the
tub covered in blood stains. My eyes wandered back to look at the bath water watching as the once crystal
clear water turned crimson red and turned the bath into a pool of blood. As the water flowed on the
bathroom floor to flood and for the white tiles to change to a light shade of red as the water rose up "Please
god please let me die let me see my babies" I croaked as my breath slowed a bright flash. I was back in the
corridor and tears streamed down my face blinding my vision, out of every memory "why that one" I
screamed internally. "They died because of you, everyone died because of you, your a fucking curse you
deserve to die" I yelled causing the flames to forcibly push Ash backwards and slide making his boots
screech along the floor sounding like nails on a chalk board before ash slammed into a wall, another blood
curtling scream left my lips but this time not from the memories that haunted my every waking moment
but from the pain shooting through my entire body "Just fucking die" I roared. Another wave of goose
bumps were crawling up my skin "Ssshhh i got you" Sal yelled suddenly plants covered my vision, now it was
pitch black letting me cry in peace without any lookers to see or hear. Fucking hell, sal was going to stop me
from killing this asshole, she was interferring and i was far to weak to stop her and all i could do was let
her step in and stop me. My arms suddenly pulled down to the sides of my body only for them to shift
behind my back becoming pinned and tied wrapped in vines only for the vines to creep up and wrap around
my torso and the upper parts of my arms, making some sort of stray jacket I presume after all Sal always
had a flair for dramatics. "Why did you return?" A male voice broke in a slight whisper as if to try to change
the situation "You don't have to worry about our return as long as you stay out of our way" Sal spat before
the only thing visible to the onlooker was my flaming hair but suddenly a burst of heat and then my blue
flame were covering her plants but not burning them. A blood curdling scream left Sal's lips it was full of
pure unwavering pain "Stop your hurting her" Siri yelled "I can still kill you even if i am weak you pathetic
home wreckering whores child" I spat "You don't mean that V" Siri said with an annoyed yet slightly pained
tone although i couldn't see her i was loving it. "You don't know anything, you will never know what we did
to survive" Sal spat defending me ignoring her own pain which i was causing "You didn't go through shit"
Siri yelled "You truly are clueless aren't you" I snickered. "Your father and mother sit on our mothers throne
and have no way of ruling without us, yet that bastard tortured Sunniva until she couldn't feel orcompromise pain, you have no idea what she went through and i was nothing more than a tool to please
men to help them grow there greedy power" Sal yelled.